Two nights before Jax was set to leave Kentucky, we out for a night on the town. Christian and Ethan were supposed to join us, but she’d come down with a cold and didn’t feel up to it. Jax seemed happier that we were alone. The tension between us was so thick. I didn’t even know how to look at him without feeling my stomach tightening up.
At dinner, after we’d ordered our food, we sat across from one another in silence. Jax finally sighed and said what was on his mind. “I don’t know how to do this without hurting you.”
“I know.” The burning in my throat reminded me of the truth in his words. “I wish it was different.”
“We’re still going to see each other. I told you, I’ll come visit in a couple weeks, and you promised to come spend Labor Day with me. It’s not the end.”
“I know. It’s just going to be so hard. I’m used to waking up and you being next to me. I’m going to miss you so much, Jax.”
He leaned forward and looked directly into my eyes. “Just remember, I was the guy you didn’t want to date.”
“Don’t get cocky,” I smiled thinking back to how I’d played hard to get. “I never denied your sexiness.”
“I never denied yours either. In fact," he bit down on his lip, "you’re looking pretty damn fine tonight. In that low-cut dress I can’t stop picturing you having a wardrobe malfunction. Better yet, let’s go into the bathroom for a couple minutes. Something’s swollen that I need you take a look at.”
“Nice try. I’m not having sex with you in a bathroom stall.” I slipped off my shoe and lifted my leg up, rubbing between Jax’s legs. The reaction from him let me know he was paying full attention to me. “What would you do if I slipped underneath this table and tended to your predicament?”
“I’d ask you to marry me.” He managed to stammer out, while I continued teasing him.
Hearing him say that, even though I knew he wasn’t serious, only fueled me to want to give him something he’d never forget. I looked around the dark room, noticing that there were only a few people around us, and they weren’t paying any attention to who else was in the room. I pretended to drop something on the floor, and bent down to get it, then slid my body off the chair and ducked underneath the table cloth. Jax peered down when I reached his legs. “You’re fucking crazy.”
I yanked on his belt. “Shut up and act normal.”
His face went out of my view, while I struggled to free his cock from his trousers. Jax scooted his body closer to the table, giving me more workable room. I taunted the tip of his hardening erection with my tongue, spitting on it to create a slippery surface. When I knew I was going to have to struggle I began tugging down his pants over his ass, so that I could fondle all of his sensitive appendages. My fingers drug across the thin skin of his balls as I lapped my own spit off of his growing shaft from bottom to top. Jax peeked down to watch me getting into it.
He smelled like his soap as I kissed and traced my lips against the hairy skin of his inner thighs. My hand stroked his shaft at the base, while I applied a strong amount of pressure to his main vein. The next time I took him into my mouth I pulled away, dragging my teeth over his now fully engorged cock. Jax inhaled heavily, and I heard him speaking to our waiter, answering if he wanted a refill.
He’d need one when I was done with him, because I planned on leaving him empty.
While my lips rested and prepared to get into it, I moved my hand at a rapid, unhinged pace, jerking his cock for maximum pleasure. He was beating on the table, but I didn’t take the time to ask what he wanted. I was too engulfed in forcing his long rod down my throat. With each thrust of my head more saliva escaped, running down his shaft. It made my jerking ability faster, enabling me to give Jax extreme pleasure. I felt his hand come down and run through my hair. When I released him to rest my lips, I sucked both of his balls into my mouth, moaning lightly to tickle him from the vibration. Seconds later I was lapping him up again, sucking as hard as I could to make him erupt. “Jesus Christ.” I heard him say as his hot lava filled my mouth. I took it all, swallowing it before the taste was able to gag me. My lips stayed put so my tongue could clean every remnant of cum off of his shaft. After I was convinced that he was spent, I assisted him in pulling up his pants before getting back to my seat. He was speechless, leaving me feeling pleased with the outcome. I wanted him to see me as strong, though inside I was breaking. My desperate attempts to leave him satisfied were only out of fear that he’d move on with someone else. I kept feeling like maybe if I gave him the most pleasure he’d wait for me. It was silly, and probably ridiculous, but it was all I could come up with.
Jax faced me with drowsy eyes. “You’re fucking crazy. I love it.”
“I just want you to remember what’s waiting for you when you come to see me next.”
“Oh, I won’t forget that, baby. Just wait until we get home. I’m having pie for dessert, and I’m going to lick that plate clean.”
His intentions gave me butterflies, and I remained speechless as the waiter delivered our food. We talked about mundane things while we ate, both of us knowing what was going to happen once we got home. Jax still had something else planned for us. He made me wait in the car while he prepared his surprise. After being waved inside, I entered to find a trail of candles lighting up a path. I followed them, him tagging along behind me. The bedroom was fully illuminated. “I’m trying to be romantic,” he suggested.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “It’s perfect.”
Jax’s hands ventured up my dress, tangling with the elastic of my panties. While being lifted in his arms, I wrapped my legs tightly around him, letting him carry me over to our bed. We kissed, slowly, like we weren’t in any hurry to proceed. “Tell me you love me,” he requested.
“I love you.” We kissed again, gradually meshing our tongues. He was hovering overtop of me, shoving my dress down to expose my breasts. He dove down latching on a nipple and sucking hard. I cried out, throwing my head back as a reaction.
When he pulled away, Jax snickered and climbed off the bed. “Take your clothes off and flip on your stomach. I’ll be right back.”
He exited the room before I was able to remove my dress and panties. When I placed my body flat on the mattress I heard him coming back inside. The bed moved when he sat back down, and I could hear the clanking of a glass of ice water as he extended his arm to rest it on the nightstand.
Jax didn’t warn me about what his intentions were. At first, I assumed he just wanted a drink. Little did I know he had other ideas in his twisted little head.
At the very top of my back, where my neck meets it, I felt him leaning forward and kissing me. His lips were cold, and I found out why right away. He slurped on the ice as it melted while being dragged down my spin. Even though I was on my stomach, I could feel my nipples reacting to the frigid connection. Waves of anticipation filled me when it made it’s way to my ass, circling around until he let it fall in my crack.
I cringed as it ran down, finding a stopping point at my hole. Jax murmured something as he used his fingers to penetrate the ice into my anus. I was too busy trying to keep composure as the freezing liquid saturated my insides. “Oh yeah, you sucked it right up. Are you ready for another?”
I bit down on my lip, moaning out my response. “Yes.”
“Good girl.” The next piece was larger, having no time to melt down to the circumference of the first piece. Jax shoved it inside of my ass, driving it deeper than the first cube had gone. He kept his finger inside, while that hunk melted into liquid. With his free hand he lifted me up so that my butt was in the air. Then he began slapping on my pussy, while fucking my ass with his finger. “You like that don’t you, baby?”
“Don’t stop.”
“Don’t stop? What if I did this instead?” He stopped slapping my hot pussy to rub over my clit. His circle motions were making me crazy. My body began to react to what was happening, and Jax knew it. His finger drove deeper into my hole, while his other hand gave gen
erous attention to my swollen bud.
“Oh, god, I’m going down on you as soon as you cum. Do it, baby. Cum for me. Show me how much you like it.”
I didn’t know if it was his talking, or what he was doing, but I lost control, tightening up so much that his finger was removed, leaving my ass open and vulnerable. He then flipped me around, spread my legs wide so he could lay in between them. It was only a matter of seconds before his face dove in, and I could feel him lapping me up.
He was giving me more reasons to crave him, want him, and love him. Jax was trying to make me happy, but in reality he was only going to make it harder when we were apart. I’d gotten to a point where I couldn’t let myself worry about it, because I would be taking away from the special moments like this one. At the end of the day I knew for sure my heart wouldn’t give up hope that Jax would wait for me, even though I was smart enough to understand that guys like him had plenty of opportunities to move on to someone new.
Chapter 40
Jax
Our last few days together were bittersweet. We spent most of them naked, deliberately detaching from the real world in order to pack as much time in as we were able to.
On the afternoon that I was set to leave I had a heavy heart. Amber was my girlfriend. There was no way I could look her in those blue eyes and tell her we were through. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt her, because all of it would have been a lie. There was no possible way I would be able to forgive myself if I walked away from this woman.
I think we spent the day avoiding conversation about our separation. When the car was packed, and there was nothing left to do, we sat together on the couch, preparing for the inevitable. I knew she’d lose her shit if she initiated the conversation, so I took a deep breath and started.
My hand touched her knee as I spoke softly, from my heart. “You know it’s not over, baby. Don’t even think it for a second.”
Amber placed her hand over mine. She tried to smile, but her tears were just too heavy to hold back. “Jax, I love you. That’s not going to change. In the weeks we’ve been together I’ve been the happiest of my life. You’ve taught me that I didn’t need to be afraid, and I can’t thank you enough.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Like what?” She asked.
“Like you’re saying goodbye for good.”
She covered her face. “I don’t want to, but we both know it’s not going to work.”
“What are you saying?” This hurt me to hear. I thought she’d be the one who was overjoyed I was willing to have a long-distance relationship.
“I’m saying that this might work for a little while, but we’re kidding ourselves if we think we can withstand what’s ahead of us. I just wonder if it isn’t better to sever ties now, while we’re still able to do it amicably.”
My throat burned while I came to grips with what my girlfriend was saying to me. “No. That’s not going to work for me.”
Amber started crying, so much that she had to turn around to avoid looking in my direction.
I walked up behind her and placed my hands on her waist. “Baby, turn around and talk to me.”
“I can’t, Jax. Please, just go. Get in your car and drive away before I can change my mind about this. It’s the right decision.”
I didn’t let go as I kissed the top of her head. Maybe she was right. I didn’t want to admit it, but how long could this work? Her not turning around was for the best, because I couldn’t let her see how she was ripping me to shreds. “I’ll call you when I get back to the campus.”
She nodded. “You better.”
I pulled my arms up around her chest and hugged her tightly from behind. The last thing I said to her before walking away was something I needed her to know. “If I could stay here with you forever I would.”
Amber didn’t turn back around until I was in my car. I contemplated jumping out and running back up to her, but we’d end up in bed, and then have to replay this goodbye again. I didn’t stop driving until I was pretty far down the road. I beat on my steering wheel, feeling helpless. As much as I wanted to call her and tell her everything would be okay, I knew I couldn’t. She’d be upset and I’d turn back around to comfort her. No matter how I tried to play it out in my head it was torture.
I didn’t even remember dialing his number, but when Jake answered a part of me felt relieved. “Jax?”
“Yeah, it me. I know, you’re shocked.”
“No. I heard you’re coming home tonight. Are you on your way?”
“How’d you do it?” I didn’t answer his question, but instead asked my own. “How’d you handle being in love with someone you couldn’t be with?”
“Whoa. Wait a minute. Are you drunk?”
“No, fuckstick, I’m driving. I just left my girlfriend on the doorstep crying her eyes out.”
“How serious are you, bro?”
I sighed. “I’m screwed. That’s how serious I am. She said the long-distance thing won’t work. I’m telling you, if some douche sweeps her off her feet I’m going to fuck something up.”
Jake laughed at me. “Yeah, you’ve got it bad. I don’t blame you. Amber’s a beautiful girl, and she’s really great. Christian talks about her all the time.”
“Dude, you are not helping.”
“Just get your ass here. We’ll have a beer. I’ll meet you at the dorms.”
“Wait, you’re going to be there? With Reese?”
“No. I moved my shit back in last week. I’m laying here right now looking at your empty bed.”
Hearing my brother saying he was waiting for me, in our old room, gave me a little bit of comfort. I missed him, in a non-gay way of course. “I’m going to need more than one beer. Brace yourself. I don’t know if I can sleep alone anymore.”
“If you think for one second I’m cuddling with you at night, you’re out of your fucking mind. I missed having my brother around, but that’s going a little too far.”
I chuckled and replied. “Yeah, well you don’t have good enough tits to keep me warm at night. I like to nestle my head up in between Amber’s tits. They’re my special pillow.”
“Are you done? I’m not interested in hearing about your love life, Jax. I think we both need to agree to keep that topic off limits.”
“Why? I don’t give a shit what you say about Reese. Have you not seen the chick I’ve been sleeping with? She’s hotter than that poster on my wall.”
“I’m hanging up now, Jax.”
“Go get beer. I’ll be there in a few hours.”
After being on the road for two hours, singing to every love song playing on the radio, I was like a beauty pageant runner up; emotional, and jealous. My mind kept replaying our last moments together.
Regardless of the laws permitting cell phone use in a vehicle, I called and spoke with Christian for the last hour of my drive. She promised to spend the night with Amber, and convince her to reconsider coming out to see me in two weeks. The way we’d left things I didn’t know if I’d be seeing her. It sure had an affect on my excitement about starting football camp.
Pulling up at the college made it all sink in. This was my senior year; my time to shine again, possibly for the last time. This football season would determine my future, and I was going to have to give one-hundred and ten percent.
Before I got out of the car I dialed Amber. I’d made her a promise and I was determined to keep it, plus I already missed hearing her sweet voice.
“Hey,” she sounded like she was still crying.
“Hey, baby. It’s me. I just got to school. How are you doing?”
“Chris is here. She came a little bit ago.”
I traced the circular steering wheel while I listened to her speaking to me.
“I miss you already.”
“Me too,” she managed to say as she sniffled.
“Don’t cry, beautiful.”
“I’m sorry, Jax. It’s harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I shouldn’t have answered the
phone.”
That hurt me. She’s rather avoid my calls than talk to me. “I love you, Amber. I’m going inside now because Jake is waiting for me, but I’m going to call you back before I go to sleep. I’m already counting down the days until you come visit me.”
“Okay.”
“Is that an okay about me calling, or are you still going to come visit me, because if you don’t, I’ll come and find you myself. If you think for a second that I’m going to let you slip away, you’re fucking crazy.”
“I’ll be there, Jax. I love you too.”
When we hung up I felt a little better, and somewhat worse. It was obviously going to take time to get used to, but for now I was hanging on to hope that I wouldn’t lose my girl.
Climbing up the stairs with all of my shit was a task, but opening the door to my room and seeing my brother with a couple other teammates turned out to be a great homecoming. We celebrated my return by shot-gunning a couple brews, and kicking back for some much needed time with my Xbox. By the time the other guys vacated our room it was well after midnight. I had three missed messages on my phone from Amber, and after I read them I knew I’d already fucked up.
Is everything okay? It’s getting late. I need to hear your voice before I go to sleep. – A
Please call me. I’m not doing good, and Chris fell asleep. – A
I’m hoping you left your phone in the car, because that’s the only reason I’ll forgive you for not calling me on our first night apart. – A
When I passed out I knew it was going to take a miracle to talk my way out of it. I had a huge decision to make. I could push Amber away and take all of my pain out on the field, or I could hold onto hope and be distracted, but know that my heart would always be full. It was something that I needed to think about, because both scenarios came with their own future.
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