Impossible Things

by Alexandra McBrayer

  Time seemed to slow as he cut through the crowd on the sidewalk and she found herself unable to look away. She felt as trapped by his eyes as she had by the ring.

  She pulled her coat tighter and pulled the collar up around her mouth as if to hide her face, but their gaze never broke as he drew nearer.

  He was no more than a foot away when he held out his hand out and opened his mouth to say something. Her heart was thumping wildly in her chest and her mouth felt so dry that she couldn’t swallow. She didn’t give him time to speak, instead she did the only thing that she could think to do, she turned and ran.

  There was only one place to go and she barely noticed the doorman as he opened the door to the jewelry store and held it for her.

  She wasn’t sure what made her try to run. Maybe it was instinct. Maybe a part of her somehow knew that he was a threat to her.

  The store was so quiet that her entrance attracted the attention of everyone inside. Embarrassed, she stood still and looked around her, ignoring the stares of the sales staff. The walls of the store were dark wood inlaid with marble, and lined with glass cases that held jewels that made the ring in the window seem cheap by comparison.

  Everywhere she looked she saw the flash of precious jewels and like a deer caught in headlights she stared at them.

  She felt as if she was losing her mind.

  She realized that a salesman was approaching and she turned to flee but the door opened and the man from the street came in. She started to back away from him but was stopped by the sound of a salesman clearing his throat behind her.

  The man from the street raised a perfect black eyebrow and smiled as if to ask her, ‘What are you going to do now?’

  She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she could feel the jewels around her calling her name and he seemed to know it too because suddenly his eyes filled with concern and tenderness.

  Before she could do or say anything he spoke to the man behind her. “We’d like to see the ring in the window.”

  She stopped breathing, not at his words, since she barely registered them; but at the sound of his voice. It was so deep that it seemed to rumble out of his chest. Since movie to England she had heard quite a few different accents but his was completely different. It was English mixed with something else and it was full of wealth, breeding, and more confidence than a hundred men should posses. His voice made the blood pound in her veins and made her want to crawl inside him.

  She raised her head and met his eyes again and the voices of the jewels faded.

  He was the most beautiful man that she had ever seen, more beautiful than Rodrigo and she hadn’t thought that possible. He was even more beautiful than the ring that she had been lusting after.

  His hair was black, his face a light caramel color, that she knew had to come from ancestry and not the sun, and his cheeks were dusted with black stubble. But it was his eyes that captured her. Up close she saw that they were a dark green that sparkled and shined more than any emerald that she had ever seen.

  She was trying to process everything, trying to sort out the unimportant details like what he was wearing- a black leather jacket, cream sweater and black jeans, from the important ones-the shop clerk was taking the ring from the window and setting it on a tray, when the stranger stepped closer and put his hand on her elbow.

  She was unable to turn away from his eyes as he gently guided her down a short hallway and into a private room.

  He held out a chair for her and because she didn’t know what else to do, she sank gratefully into it. He took a seat next to her and the smell of him caused a flush of desire to wash over her. He smelled of crisp, cold air with a faint undertone of aftershave. But underneath it all was him; an indescribable something that made her want to raise her head and sniff the air around him like a dog in heat.

  She managed to restrain herself, just barely, as the salesman took a seat across the table from them. She turned to him as he held the diamond ring up. She had forgotten all about him and the ring. She stared at it, it seemed much smaller in the salesman’s fleshy hands, though it sill shined with all the glory that it had displayed in the window.

  “The ring is American, designed in nineteen twenty-six for a steel magnate’s wife. It’s a total of seven carats. The center stone is a cushion cut, five-carat, yellow diamond, and the double halo surrounding it totals two carats. It was purchased at a recent estate sale and it is absolutely one of a kind. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and the man from the street reached out and took it from the salesman. He looked down at the ring and then up at Lucy who quickly looked away. Out of the corner of her eye she saw as he tossed the ring onto the tray and his carelessness with such a beautiful thing made her stomach lurch.

  “We need a few minutes,” he said, more of a command than a request, and the salesman got up quickly and went to the door. “Of course sir, just press the button as soon as you’re ready and I shall return.”

  Chapter Seven

  She heard the formality that the salesman directed the stranger’s way but it didn’t register at the time because each breath brought with it the smell of him and it clouded her mind, leaving her unable to think. She felt as if she was in a dream. Nothing made sense, and nothing was the same as it had been only a few minutes before.

  When he didn’t say anything she was forced to look up and when she did their eyes met. He smiled and reached out to softly rub his finger down her cheek causing her to shiver. He pulled back and she watched as he picked up the ring again. He reached out, took her shaking right hand, and slid the ring onto her finger.

  She tried to pull her hand away but he wouldn’t let her. Once the ring was on she looked down, and it was so beautiful that she didn’t immediately take it off. She lifted her hand closer to her face, and moved it back and forth so that the center stone caught the light and danced as if it had captured a tiny sun inside it.

  The stranger moved and she looked up at him as he stood and came to stand behind her. Before she could move she felt his hands on her shoulders and they caused her to shiver again. His touch was gentle as he turned her to face a large mirror that dominated the wall to the right of them. As she watched their reflection he pushed her coat off her shoulders and pulled her hand up. Against the black v-neck dress that she was wearing the ring sparkled even more.

  She looked up from the ring to his face in the mirror and as she watched he ran his hand softly down her hair.

  She trembled when his hands closed around her shoulders again. Leaning down so that his mouth brushed against her ear he whispered, “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

  She stared in silence at their reflection as he continued to run his hands softly over her shoulders. She felt as if she was drugged, unable to talk, and unable to move, and when she didn’t say anything he slid his hand down and brushed his fingers against her breast.

  She should have stopped him. She should have gotten up, slapped him and left, but she was too shocked to move, and when she didn’t he grew bolder, and leaned down to kiss her neck. The sight of his lips against her neck, and the feel of his hand on her breast, finally released her from the spell that he had woven over her. She jerked away from him and stood.

  She made a move to go around him, but he moved in the same direction, blocking her. When she looked up, their eyes met and he smiled at her. She moved left and he moved that way as well, but it never occurred to her to be scared because while his movements to block her might seem threatening, his smile wasn’t.

  She stopped and stared at him and he took a step towards her.

  She waited, breath held, expecting him to kiss her but instead he put one hand on her waist and one on her hip and turned her back towards the wall. Fascinated, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her face and chest were red, but from embarrassment or the desire that she felt, she wasn’t sure. He pushed her coat off and she watched as it pooled on the floor at their f
eet.

  She watched their reflection in the mirror as he leaned forward and put his mouth on her shoulder and gently bit down. The feel of his teeth through the fabric of her dress was so erotic that it made her head fall back and her eyes close, but he reached up and gently pushed her head up so that their eyes met in the mirror again.

  “Watch,” he whispered.

  At that point she was beyond rational thought. She was being led by an overwhelming curiosity of what he would do next and the steady throb of desire that was beating in her veins.

  He pulled her dress up until she could see the white nylon of her panties. His touch when it came was light, and she watched as his finger pressed against the white fabric. She gasped at the touch, and as their eyes met in the mirror he moved his hand inside the nylon, and then his fingers were on her bare flesh.

  Doubts began to penetrate the fog of her mind, and she saw that he knew it. His mouth went back to her ear and he murmured soothing words. Their eyes were still locked as she felt his fingers brush against her and then gently part her. When the tip of one finger found its way inside her she whimpered with the sheer pleasure of it and watched as his pupils contracted in desire.

  She was filled with a desire that made her lust for the ring seem petty in comparison but despite that the rational part of her brain began to wake up and she saw herself standing with her dress around her hips with a strange man’s hand in her panties, touching her.

  Despite the soft circles that his finger was making against the most sensitive part of her, and the feelings that were sweeping through her, she realized with mounting horror what she was doing and she made a noise of protest.

  He looked up, met her eyes again, and his closed for a second before he pulled his hand away and stepped back.

  He pulled her dress down, bent over, picked her coat up off the floor, and helped her put it on. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I shouldn’t have…I went too far. I lost control.”

  He stepped towards her, gently smoothed her hair back in place, and then glanced around the room as if to assess how it looked. He turned back to her and led her back to her chair. She felt it as he planted a light kiss on the top of her head, but before she could say anything he had pressed the small, discrete button on the desk that would bring the salesman back.

  Desire was still running rampant through her veins, and she pressed her legs tightly together to stem it, as she waited for him to say something else. But before he could the salesman was tapping on the door and opening it. “Have you decided sir?”

  “How much?” the stranger asked as he took a checkbook from an inside jacket pocket and began to fill out a check. The salesman cleared his throat, “Forty-eight sir.”

  Forty-eight? Forty-eight what? She asked herself, then it hit her and she blurted out, “Forty-eight thousand pounds?”

  The salesman met her eyes for the first time and nodded.

  She had to grab onto something to stay in her seat, and the only thing near her was the stranger, so she put her hand on his arm, and leaned against him but he never looked up. He finished writing the check and handed it to the salesman who said, “Very good sir. Let me get the box and paperwork for you.”

  But the stranger was already on his feet. “Just send it to my address,” he said before taking her hand and pulling her to her feet as well.

  “Yes sir. Of course sir.”

  The stranger opened the door and led her back down the hallway and into the showroom. She met the eyes of a man behind the counter and she felt herself blush as she wondered if he knew what they had been doing.

  When they were out on the street and the cold air hit her face, reality struck. She jerked away from the stranger and came to a stop. He turned to look at her and his gorgeous face was serious as his eyes searched hers. There were a million thoughts running through her head and she didn’t know where to start. Finally she came up with, “You can’t buy me a forty-eight thousand pound ring.”

  His mouth turned up into a grin and tiny lines radiated out from the corners of his eyes as he said, “I already did.”

  “I can’t keep it!”

  He smiled again and his white teeth were so bright against his face that it distracted her. He took the opportunity to lean forward, and for the first time, he kissed her.

  They stood on one of the most expensive streets in London connected by mouth as the world moved around them. His kiss made the kisses that she and Sam shared seem childish and innocent by comparison. He didn’t invade, and it seemed as if he gave far more than he took, but when it was over she felt as if she had nothing left.

  When he finally pulled back she watched a look that she didn’t understand cross his face. Was it regret? She wasn’t sure, but before she could say anything he turned, and walked away, leaving her alone on the street while snow began to fall around her, and the forty-eight thousand pound ring on her finger.

  Chapter Eight

  She watched in shock as he walked away, and turned the corner. He never once glanced back at her. She stood on that street for thirty minutes watching the direction he had gone in, expecting that he would come back, but he never did. When she finally realized that she managed to find a cab, too upset to worry about the expense.

  When she got home Sam was still at work and she was glad. She didn’t know how she was going to face him after what had just happened. She knew that she should be feeling guilty but she didn’t; more than anything she felt raw, as if the outer layers that had protected her heart from the world were gone.

  She took a long, hot soak in the tub, and while lying there she raised her hand and stared at the ring on her finger, trying to make sense of what had happened. But over and over again her thoughts scatted and all she could remember was the stranger, and the way that he had touched and kissed her.

  When the water was too cold to stand any longer she got out, wrapped herself in a towel, and searched through her dresser for something soft. When she found an old t-shirt she looked at the ring one last time, took it off, and carefully wrapped it up. She buried it beneath her nightgowns in the dresser. She would take it back to the store in the morning.

  Sam got home late that night, and she was already in bed. When he tried to pull her to him she resisted for some reason that she didn’t understand. Thinking that she was asleep he rolled over and left her alone, and she lay awake for the rest of the night listening to his soft snores as she agonized over what had happened.

  When she finally fell asleep at dawn it was only to dream about the stranger and when she woke it was to her own soft whimpers of desire. She turned to look at Sam, still asleep beside her, and reached down to touch herself. She was thinking about the stranger’s fingers on her, and his eyes as he touched her, when she felt the bed next to her depress. She opened her eyes to see Sam staring back at her. “What are you doing?” he asked.

  She didn’t answer him, she couldn’t. So he reached down and lifted the covers back. She didn’t look down; instead she watched his face as he saw where her fingers were and what they were doing. He looked back up at her and asked again, “What are you doing?”

  It was obvious what she was doing so she didn’t say anything. She moved towards him and kissed him softly. His body was stiff and unmoving as she sent her tongue out to lick the corner of his mouth. She wanted to wipe away the memory of the strangers face so she reached her hand up, put it against the side of his face, and whispered, “Make love to me.”

  She saw a look of disgust go across his face before he grabbed her hand, which was still damp, and pulled it away. As she watched in shock, he got up from the bed and looked down at her, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you Lucy.”

  The pain of his disgust and rejection felt like a weight pressing down on her chest and she didn’t say anything as he turned and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. She put her hand to her chest, to the pain, and stared unseeing at the bathroom door, while blinking back tears of shame.

  It wa
s a few minutes before she felt the pressure in her chest ease and she pulled her nightgown down and sat up against the headboard to wait for Sam.

  When he came out of the bathroom ten minutes later he was still angry.

  “Sam-” He made a slashing motion in the air to silence her and she stopped.

  “I don’t want to hear it Lucy. We’ll talk about it later when I get back from work.”

  He didn’t say anything else and too hurt to speak she stared at the line of his angry back as he finished getting dressed. When he was done he didn’t say goodbye, he just picked up his briefcase and walked out. The sound of the front door slamming traveled up the stairs and she heard something in the living room fall and break.

  She didn’t understand why he was so angry. It was true that she had never done anything like that in front of him, but they were only weeks away from becoming man and wife and she felt hurt and betrayed by his disgust.

  As the word betrayed went through her mind she realized how absurd it was. She had betrayed Sam the day before in the worst way imaginable. She didn’t have any right to feel hurt or rejected.

  She slipped back down between the sheets, pulled the blanket up over her head, and cried herself to sleep. When she woke the next time it was only to realize that she was touching herself again. Half-asleep she gave in to the images that were running through her mind, and when it was over, and the tremors had subsided, she rolled over, buried her face in Sam’s pillow, and cried again.

  A few hours later she had just gotten out of the shower when the phone rang. It was the florist with bad news. The lilies that she had ordered for her bouquet weren’t going to be available and they needed her to come down and choose something else. She didn’t want to do it, didn’t want to think about the wedding, but she had to.