All Your Loving (Bachelors & Bridesmaids)

by Freethy, Barbara

  "I don't agree."

  "You're really stubborn."

  "So are you," he returned. "Something we have in common. I'm sorry things got awkward last night. You rattled me."

  "I did?" she asked in surprise.

  He gave her a solemn nod. "Big time, and I don't get rattled easily."

  She licked her lips. "You made me dizzy."

  A smile spread across his lips. "I like you dizzy. I like you every which way. I didn't mean to pressure you last night."

  "You didn't. Honestly, I felt like all the pressure was coming from me. I—I haven't felt so out of control with anyone in a really long time—maybe ever. And you know I'm kind of a control freak, so that feeling is a little terrifying."

  "I know exactly what you mean."

  She drew in a deep breath. "Anyway, we can't talk about this now. The guests are starting to arrive as well as the press. And you need to start cooking."

  "Then we'll talk later, after the event."

  "Fine. You should put on your apron. We promised our sponsors the chefs would wear them while they were cooking."

  "I'll put it on. Right now, I'm more concerned with cooking this meal I've volunteered to make and not burning the hotel down."

  "You'll do okay."

  "You keep saying that, and while I appreciate the pep talk, I can't help feeling very alone at this moment."

  "You're used to performing in front of a crowd."

  "Yeah, but that's when I know what I'm doing, when I've practiced more than once."

  "Well, I didn't stop you from practicing." She paused. "But, just like I had the recipe waiting for you, I've also made sure you have a little more backup."

  "What does that mean?" he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.

  "I got you a sous chef. To keep the contest fair, I asked all the kids from Baycrest to help out in the kitchens, but you have the most knowledgeable kid I could find." She waved her hand toward the young girl walking toward them. "Maya is a very good cook. She's used to cooking for her siblings, and she's going to help you."

  "Hi Matt," Maya said.

  "Maya. You're a lifesaver," he said, giving her a big smile.

  "You're making a really easy meal; it won't be hard," Maya told him. "Don't worry. I'll tell you what to do. First thing, you need to do is to get organized." She headed over to the refrigerator. "Let's see what you've got."

  "I'm going to leave you to it," Julie told him.

  He grabbed her arm, his warm fingers sending the oh-so-familiar butterflies dancing through her stomach. "Thanks, Julie."

  "Good luck. There's still a chance you could win, you know."

  "I'm just hoping I don't poison anyone."

  "Maya won't let that happen," she said, smiling as Maya started to bark orders at Matt. He was going to have his hands full with Maya.

  Matt grinned. "She's going to kick my ass."

  "Matt, are you listening?" Maya asked, waving her hand in the air.

  "Sorry," he said, giving Julie's arm another squeeze before he let her go. "See you later."

  "Later," she echoed, then headed back to the front of the ballroom. She was almost to the entrance when she ran into her friends. Liz and Michael, Andrea and Alex had come as well as Kate and Isabella. After going through a line of hugs and greetings, she took them over to their table.

  "I put you guys near the judging table, so you'll have a good view," she said, as they all sat down. "I think the food is going to be amazing, too."

  "Where's Matt?" Liz asked.

  "He's in his kitchen getting ready to cook."

  "I think I'll say hello," Alex said.

  "I'll go with you," Michael added.

  As the two men left the table, Julie was immediately besieged by questions.

  "What is going on with you and Matt?" Kate asked.

  "Are you guys dating?" Isabella wanted to know.

  "Is it getting serious?" Liz wondered.

  "Stop," she said, sitting down for a moment in the seat Alex had just vacated. "We've gone out a couple of times, and I like him, but you all know how I feel about baseball players."

  "And he hasn't changed your mind yet?" Liz asked.

  "Well, maybe a little," she conceded. "Actually a lot. He's really great," she said with a sigh.

  Andrea gave her a knowing look. "I recognize that expression. You're falling for him. You have the same look Liz did when she reunited with Michael."

  "And the same look you had when you got together with Alex," Kate put in.

  "Matt seems really nice," Isabella added. "And he liked you enough to come to my hip-hop class, which not all men will do."

  "He's been doing everything right," she admitted. "But I just don't see how it could work. Even though I know he's not my father, he's still on the road several months a year, and he's surrounded by women. He also told me he doesn't think he wants kids. That would be a deal-breaker. It's better if I cut things off now, before they get started."

  Liz laughed. "Oh, Julie. You've already started. You're falling for him."

  "Then someone catch me and point me in a different direction," she said with a sigh.

  "I would try if you really wanted that," Liz said. "But I think you owe it to yourself to see what happens. If he really doesn't want kids, then that will be a big decision for you, but if that was just a theoretical comment he made in a conversation he's probably forgotten, then I don't think you can really use that to end things, at least not until you have that talk."

  "He's leaving for spring training in a few days. We're not going to have time to talk about anything."

  "A lot can happen in a few days," Andrea said. "You just have to be open to the possibilities."

  "I'm not very good at that."

  "You're getting better," Liz said with encouragement.

  "Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump," Isabella put in. "Take the risk. It's only the way to find out what's on the other side."

  She looked around the group of supportive female friends and felt amazingly loved. "You guys are wonderful. Thank you for coming, for listening to me, for kicking my ass when I need it."

  "We're always good for that," Liz said.

  "So are you going to talk to Matt?" Andrea asked.

  "Later. Right now I have to focus on work." She stood up. "Get yourselves some drinks and have fun."

  * * *

  "You do not look like you are having fun," Michael told Matt, a sympathetic gleam in his eyes.

  "I'm just trying to get through the next hour." He nodded to Alex. "Nice to see you again."

  "I heard you were dating Andrea's friend Julie. That was a surprise. You know what you're getting into, don't you?"

  He wasn't sure exactly what Alex meant by that. "You mean with Julie's past?"

  "Actually, I was talking about the women. They are a formidable force of friends, and they vet every guy who comes close to their group."

  "He's right," Michael agreed. "You screw Julie over, and you're going to have seven women on your case."

  "I'm not planning to screw her over," he said.

  "Matt, you have to flip the scallops," Maya interrupted.

  "Sorry," he muttered, flipping the scallops as Maya went to the back of the kitchen to work on the side salad.

  "Who's your boss?" Michael asked.

  "One of the kids Julie works with. Maya is awesome. She's saving my ass right now."

  "Come by when you're done and we'll buy you a drink," Alex promised.

  "I'll take you up on that."

  As Alex and Michael walked away, Gary and Connie walked into his kitchen.

  "Are you surviving?" Connie asked with amusement.

  "Barely. Thankfully, I have a good sous chef."

  "I can see that," Connie said.

  "You guys look good. How's the bun in the oven?"

  "Behaving," Connie said, rubbing her abdomen with a protective, caressing gesture. "Only a little morning sickness. I'm hoping that's as bad as it gets
."

  "Are you coming to Arizona with Gary?"

  "Wouldn't miss it. We're leaving tomorrow. I'm looking forward to sitting by the pool and soaking up some sun." Connie paused. "Is Julie coming down for any of the games?"

  He shrugged. "Doubtful."

  "Really? I'd make sure she had a good time. And I think you're going to miss her."

  He knew he was going to miss her. Every second they were apart he missed her. He would love to have Julie come down for a weekend, but he didn't think that was in the cards. At this point, he wasn't even sure she'd go out with him again. He'd messed things up the night before. Things seemed better now, but he had no idea what was coming next.

  Every time he thought he was getting somewhere with her, he ran into her guard wall and was bounced back on his ass. He was getting a little tired of that, but he didn’t want to give up on her, because he still believed in his heart that she was important, that he needed to give their relationship a chance, that she might just be the one he'd been waiting for.

  "Matt?" Connie questioned.

  He realized he'd lost track of the conversation. "Sorry, I'm a little distracted."

  Gary laughed. "By the cooking or by her?" He tipped his head to Julie who was talking to some nearby guests. "She looks hot tonight."

  "Matt, don't let the scallops burn," Maya interrupted again. "You should really tell your friends to talk to you later."

  He smiled at Gary and Connie. "You heard the boss. Beat it."

  "Fine, come by our table when you're done," Connie said.

  "Don't screw up," Gary added.

  "I'm going to try not to." He waved them away and concentrated on getting his food together for the judges.

  Finally, everything was done, plated and ready to be presented. He felt tired and hopeful that he and Maya might have just pulled it off. He turned to his helper. "Thanks, Maya. You were awesome."

  "I know," she said with a smile. "It was fun."

  "Are you staying for the party?"

  "Julie got me and the other sous chefs a table," Maya replied.

  "Listen I owe you. How would you like to take a bunch of your friends to a Cougars' game?"

  Her face lit up. "That would be great."

  "You can come early and I'll introduce you to some of the other players. Tell Julie how many tickets you need, and I'll make sure you get into one of the games in the first two weeks of the season. Okay?"

  "Great," she said, giving him a high five as she left the kitchen.

  He picked up his plate and headed to the judge's table. The judges were made up of five of the top chefs in the city plus the mayor. He didn't have a chance in hell of winning.

  When it was his turn to present, he set down his dish as a series of flashbulbs went off in his face. The judges tasted his food. One of them mentioned that the scallops were cooked perfectly, and the other said she was pleasantly surprised. He was going to take their comments as a win.

  As he left the table, he was met by one of Julie's coworkers who led him through a series of interviews and photo ops with both television and print news media. It was another half hour before he was done.

  Then he went looking for a drink.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Julie was kept too busy during the event to spend any time with Matt, but she'd seen him from afar and was pleased by not only the appearance of his contest dish, but also by the way he dealt with the media. He was patient, attentive and his smile charmed everyone he met. She couldn't have asked any more of him. He really was a generous man at heart. He cared about people—his family, his teammates, the kids from Baycrest—maybe even her.

  But watching him work the room couldn't help but remind her of all the times she'd watched her father do the same thing. She'd been on the sidelines then, in the background, just as she was tonight. However, tonight was her choice, she reminded herself. She'd put this event together. She'd asked Matt to do exactly what he done, so she could hardly complain that he'd done it too well.

  Frowning, she turned her focus back to the event. Dinner was over. The plates had been cleared, and the band had started to play. While some of the guests were dancing, others were starting to leave. She headed to the reception desk to make sure the volunteers were getting the swag bags out.

  Twenty minutes later, Matt entered the lobby. His eyes lit up when he saw her, and she felt the familiar flutter of butterflies in her stomach.

  "There you are," he said. "I've been looking for you. You owe me a dance, Julie."

  "I'm working."

  "The party is almost over."

  "She can dance," Melanie said, giving Julie a pointed look. "You haven't had a break all night, and I can cover this."

  "I don't think the boss would like to see me dancing."

  "Robert is on the dance floor with his wife," Melanie returned. "Go, have some fun. You've worked really hard and so has Matt."

  "She's right. I have worked hard," Matt said, holding out his hand with an expectant look. "I think you owe me at least a dance."

  "Okay," she said. "One dance."

  His fingers curled around hers, and as they made their way back into the ballroom, she was very aware of the curious looks they were getting. Matt didn't seem to care what anyone thought, and to be truthful, she was a little too tired to care.

  When they got to the dance floor, the band started a slow song.

  "Perfect," Matt said.

  She silently agreed, because moving into Matt's arms felt perfect. She probably should have tried to keep some distance between them, because so many people were watching them, but the music tugged at her heart. When Matt's arms tightened around her waist, she didn't resist. Instead, she moved closer, until her head came just under his chin. She closed her eyes against his chest as his hand caressed her back.

  One dance turned into another, and she couldn't find the will to pull away.

  Eventually the choice was made for her when the band ended their set. The night was over.

  She reluctantly stepped out of Matt's arms as the few dancers that were left on the floor applauded the band. After clapping for the musicians, she wrapped her arms around her waist, feeling chilled now that Matt wasn't holding her.

  "Looks like we shut down the place," Matt murmured.

  She glanced around, realizing there were only about a dozen people left in the entire ballroom. "I didn't realize it was so late. I better go see if Melanie needs any help."

  "I'll wait for you to finish up, Julie. I want to talk to you."

  "You should just go home, Matt. It could be a little while."

  "I'll wait. Do what you have to do. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere without you."

  She smiled at the irony of his words. He wasn't going anywhere tonight, but in a few days that would change. His life would be an endless circle of baseball games and road trips. He would be going a lot of places without her.

  * * *

  The bright lights of Matt's car stayed right behind her during her trip across town. It was comforting to know he was there, but she also felt tense about how to handle their situation. When she was away from him, every cold rational argument about their relationship played through her mind. But when they were together, she found herself wavering, fighting off an emotional desire to be with him, if only for a little while. She needed to make a decision, take a step in one direction or another; she just didn't know what choice to make. Every path seemed filled with possible problems. Life had been a lot easier before she'd met Matt.

  The ride to her apartment passed too quickly, and she was no closer to a decision than she had been when she left. Matt found a parking space down the block and met her at the front door.

  He followed her up the stairs without a word, and his quiet only increased her tension. They were heading toward something; she just wasn't sure what that something was.

  She unlocked the door and turned the lights on. "Do you want a drink? I can make some coffee or tea."

  "No, I ju
st want to talk to you, Julie."

  She didn't like the serious gleam in his eyes now. "About last night? Because I think we covered that."

  "No, about tomorrow. I'm leaving for Arizona for spring training."

  Her heart skipped a beat. "I thought you were here until Wednesday."

  "I thought so, too, but my agent called earlier today, and he's set up some talks with a sponsor on Monday. He needs me to be there. It's a pretty big deal."

  "Okay," she said slowly. "I guess that's great for you, right?"

  "It's lucrative. But I'm not happy about having to leave tomorrow. I wanted to have more time with you."

  "Tomorrow…Wednesday…there's not much difference," she said, feeling suddenly overwhelmingly depressed. She tried to blame her weariness on the event, on the long night, but she couldn't keep lying to herself. She didn't want Matt to leave—ever.

  "Julie," he began, then stopped.

  She waited and then impatiently asked, "What? What do you want to say?"

  "I know the timing isn't good, but I care about you, Julie, and I don't want this to end."

  "I don't even know what this is," she said, waving her hand helplessly in the air. "We've been having fun, but we've both known from the beginning that this, whatever it is, can't go anywhere. We're too different. Watching you tonight, surrounded by the press and your fans, reminded me of who you are. Yes, you showed me the flip side of fame with a beautiful cruise on a luxury yacht. But the rest of your life would be hard on me."

  "It's hard on me, too. Do you know what it feels like to stand in front of a camera or a group of reporters and have to answer questions regardless of how personal or provocative they might be? Everyone wants a piece of me. Do this, do that, smile for the camera, take a picture with my wife, kiss my baby. And you're no different, Julie. You used me for your fundraiser. I spent the night performing for your organization."

  "And I'm grateful."

  "I don't want your gratitude. I just want you to see me and not your father. I'm tired of being blamed for his sins."

  She stared at him in shock. She'd never seen him so angry before. She wanted to defend herself, but how could she?

  "I'll let you in on a little secret, Julie," he continued. "Before I met you, I always wondered if a woman was with me because of who I was or how much money I made. I was never really sure if they just wanted to date a baseball player or if they wanted to be with me. Have you ever had to worry about that?"