My mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. I didn't even know where to start to explain how and why that wasn't going to happen.
“Mom!” Lily yelled.
"What on earth are you yelling about?" my mother asked.
Mary Westin was a small, unassuming woman, or so one would think on first impression. They'd be wrong. My mom had been a strong alpha's mate and pack mother for nearly thirty years. Even now, just because Kelsey was technically the current pack mother, didn’t mean my mom wasn’t still keeping charge. No one crossed that woman, not even my dad, and he could be downright scary at times. Strongest male I knew. He cowered to no one—except Mom.
"Now what's this ruckus all about?"
"Um, Mom, Kelsey's looking forward to running next weekend. Uh, forget to explain a few things?"
I wasn't sure why Lily and I couldn't just explain it, we just couldn't. Pregnant shifters were our most vulnerable and highly protected, though I doubted Kyle had the balls to explain that to his mate, either.
Kelsey wasn't like normal females. She was an alpha in her own right with extra powers I hadn't known existed before she came into our lives. She had been sentenced to death at the ripe age of four along with her triplet sisters. Her sisters had died, transferring their powers to Kels, but she had gotten away and been hidden from the world until her parents had died a gruesome death, leaving Kelsey alone, shifting into her wolf form far too young and bearing the burden of thinking herself a Hollywood werewolf monster. I thanked God daily for bringing her to our territory, and not just because she's my brother's one true mate.
"Oh, dear. Oh dear, dear, dear," my mother started, pacing the living room floor. "It's always these little things that catch me off guard."
"What's going on?" Kelsey asked.
"Dear," my mother started, "I'm afraid you won't be running for the remainder of this pregnancy."
"Oh, but Doc said—"
Mom cut her before she could finish. "It's not that, sweetie. You physically cannot change while pregnant. Try all you want, but it will not happen."
"Oh, I didn't know." She turned and looked at me accusingly. "Why didn't you just say so?"
I blushed. I didn't know how to explain it all to her. She made it sound so simple, but it wasn't simple to a female wolf shifter. It was our biggest burden, shame, and pride all rolled into one package, and while the knowledge was passed from mother to daughter it was otherwise never discussed, sort of like how the humans avoided the S-E-X talks. Sex to a shifter, no big deal—our reproductive legacy—a very big deal.
"Why don't we move to Kyle's office for this conversation?"
"Heard it all before," Lily said. "I'm out."
"You guys are starting to freak me out," Kelsey whispered to me, even while knowing whispering around wolves was a moot point.
I giggled. "It's okay, kind of like the birds and the bees talk with humans. Not bad, just awkwardly uncomfortable."
"I learned that from a textbook at school," she whispered back.
I snorted. "Then you’re in for a real treat."
"Sit down, dear," Mom said as she pulled up a chair and sat face-to-face with her. She took Kelsey’s hands into her own and stroked them lightly. I rolled my eyes. Mom made exactly the same big deal about it when she sat me down for the "talk."
I took the big, comfy chair behind Kyle's desk and propped my feet up, making myself comfortable. I already knew we'd be here awhile.
"Kelsey, I'm going to assume no one has ever told you about how our kind came to exist?"
She shook her head no.
"Let's back up and start there then. You were raised in the human world, so do you know the story of Noah's Ark?"
"Yes. Where the old guy, Noah, built an ark and all the animals came two by two and joined him. God condemned the Earth, killing everything and everyone except those on the ark. It rained for forty days and forty nights and he repopulated the land."
"Good, but that's the humans’ version and not entirely accurate, at least not in the details. It sounds like quite the fantastical tale, right? Now, ever wonder why the animals didn't eat each other or Noah? Or how they could survive locked in a wooden vessel without dying from the stench alone for forty days?"
Kelsey giggled. "Actually, one of my foster moms made us all go to Bible school one summer and I got kicked out for asking that. Well, really I asked, 'With all those animals, what did they do with all the shit?' She asked I be reassigned shortly after."
My eyes welled up with tears, first from holding in laughter, then for the sadness I always felt when hearing her childhood stories. Kelsey didn't talk about her foster families often, but when she did it broke my heart for the little girl she had been, and it was often hard to reconcile that little girl to the strong, compassionate, loving woman before me.
"The part not found in the human Bible pertains to us, the shifters. It was omitted to keep our kind safe. When God called Noah for this task, he also called forth many faithful followers. He placed a spirit animal inside each of them to carry his beloved creatures into the new world. With their human minds intact, they lived peacefully on the Ark, for the most part. Our legends say that there was a fight that broke out between a tiger and a lion who was sniffing around a female tiger. The male tiger shifted, to the shock of everyone. They knew their mission was to carry the spirit of the animals into the new world and had thought the shift would be a one-time deal turning them into animals forever, but God left the free will of their human hosts intact. The people aboard were able to subdue him and he shifted back, naked and vulnerable. That was the start of our kind."
"Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that there are others kinds of shifters? I mean, not just wolves?"
"Sweetie, for every animal that walks this Earth, at some point there was at least one male and one female shifter of their kind."
"Do they still exist?"
"Yes, well, some of them. Wolves are pack animals, so our kind, specifically, have thrived better than most. Some, we fear, are gone entirely. Like the elephant. Seeing their numbers in the wild dwindling, tells us that their shifters are no longer around, or have not found mates if they still exist at all. If they were, they would have stepped in and repopulated."
"Wait, what? What do you mean by the shifters would repopulate the animals?"
"It's what we were designed for, Kelsey. Ultimately, it's why we were created."
"But you had Kyle . . . and E, the twins, Chase. Are you saying my kid could be an animal instead? Or are all animals actually shifters?"
"Our purpose in creation was to ride the Ark to dry land, allow our animal spirits to take over and mate, essentially repopulating the Earth of our animals, and they are animals, Kelsey. Wolves conceived in wolf form have no humanity, they are all animal. It is especially hard on a female shifter and most will choose to give up their humanity to stay with their pups. There are times when certain animals are called forth to keep their animal-kind from extinction. It is the ultimate sacrifice for any mother."
Kelsey was crying, no doubt for the loss of those shifter moms placed in that situation. It had gotten to me the first time I'd heard it too, and I hadn't been pregnant and hormonal at the time.
"When a pup is conceived in wolf form, the female will not change again until the baby is born, and like I said, many never do again. Likewise"—my mother reached over and affectionately rubbed Kelsey's belly—"when two shifters conceive in human form, a new tiny animal spirit is placed inside that will grow and be nurtured until he or she emerges, usually around the start of adulthood, though as you know that's not always the case. Some turn earlier, some later. Still, while you are pregnant, you will not be capable of shifting. That's just how it is. So no run for you next weekend. Not having the ability to shift makes pregnant shifters extremely vulnerable and makes their males crazy, so have a little patience with that son of mine."
I smiled and nodded, trying to encourage Kelsey as she tried absorbing all that Mom had to
ld her.
Patrick
Chapter 26
I saw Da's face flash across the screen of my cell and my stomach fell. It felt like donkey's years since I'd last spoken to him. I had called and told him I reneged on my challenge with Kyle Westin and had found my one true mate. I've never heard him so angry and was grateful I was half a world away. The words we had parted with would be burned into me forever. He had cut me off, disowned me, and told me to never return to Ireland again. I hadn't confessed that to Elise because in my heart I believed he'd take me back someday.
“Da?” I answered.
“Patrick,” he replied, followed by a long, awkward silence. He had called me and even though I knew it must be that he had gotten the news of my mating to Elise, I wasn't about to be the one to carry the conversation. The announcement had gone out six days earlier. A part of me rejoiced that he had finally reached out, even though I knew that nothing good would come out of it. I also knew it was still too soon, but the part of me that only ever wanted to please my da, was holding on to the hope that maybe he'd find my mate acceptable and say he was proud of me.
“Elise Westin,” he finally said. “It's a good catch. Second-in-command of Westin Pack as long as Kyle's mate doesn't give him a son. Maybe you're not quite the idiot I thought. You blew it with Kyle, but maybe there's hope for Niall.”
“You called to tell me you're sending Niall into the challenges? I'm afraid I've been out of the wolf hierarchy of late. Who will he be challenging?” There was something in his tone that didn't sit well with me.
“I'll admit I was very angry with you when you reneged on the Westin challenge, but I hear you've gotten strategically close to the family and I must admit, it's an angle I had not previously considered. I want you to know that whatever happens, son, I forgive you. Be sure to say hello to your brother for me.”
My heart had momentarily soared before crashing hard in the realization of what he was saying.
“WHAT?” I roared. “You cannot be serious, Da. You're sending Niall to fight me in the challenges for my mate? Why? How could you? I'm your son, too!”
“How many times do I have to beat it into you, Patrick?” he growled, but my wolf did not cower. “True mates only make you weak. You were the strongest of all my sons. I had big hopes and dreams for you, but you have turned into the biggest disappointment of all. Niall will serve the position better. His emotions will not be as affected by the female. I cannot trust you in that position. You're too far gone and will always follow your heart instead of orders. You do not know how it pains me to say that. I want Westin Pack. You knew that more than anyone and you had it right there in the palm of your hands and blew it. Niall will not make the same mistake. I wish things could be different. Goodbye, son.”
I sat down hard, staring at the dead phone in my hands. I had truly believed he would be okay, that he'd see and understand that what I had done was right. He was sending Niall to punish me. Did he really think my younger brother could best me?
I didn't hear Elise walk into the room, but I felt her soft arms wrap around me. “I'm sorry,” she whispered.
I sighed. “Heard that, did you?”
“Wolf ears.” She smiled against my shoulder. “Kind of hard not to.”
“I really thought things would be okay, E.”
“They will, Patrick.”
“No they won't, Elise. You don't understand. I may not have the title of alpha, but I was raised to be one. I thought Da would take me back, give me a leadership role in the Clan. A man is supposed to take his female home. I don't have a home to take you to.” A single tear slipped down my cheek and it made me angry. I didn't want to feel sorry for myself. I didn't want to let his words hurt me, but they did hurt.
“Your father's an asshole,” Kyle said from the doorway.
I looked up to see all the Westin kids make their way into my room. Great, they all heard. I knew it from their faces. They all were there to witness me as an emotional wreck. I'm not sure which was worse. Kelsey started crying. She ran over and hugged me close.
“I didn't have a pack either, Patrick, till Westin, and we already think of you as family. This is your pack, too.”
I shook my head sadly. “It's not the same, Kelsey.”
Chase spoke up. “Honestly, none of us wanted you to leave anyway.”
“Westin Foundation couldn't function without E,” Liam added. I hadn't considered that, but it didn't change things.
“You don't have to worry about your brother. I'll kill him if he tries to step foot on Westin territory. He'll never make it to the challenge,” Lily said with such vengeance that I believed her, and when I looked up, all the others were nodding in agreement. “You're Westin now. It wouldn't matter where you and Elise ended up living. You're still Westin, now and forever!”
“And you guys will always have a home here. We all understand you have to do what you have to do. I know the traditional method is for a male to take his mate back to his pack, but your dad never raised you for that either, Pat. He always intended for you to have a pack of your own, and you do. Here.”
I knew there was some truth in Kyle's words, but they didn't quite sink in. It was hard enough being disowned, but I thought it was temporary. Now I find out my own father wanted me dead. It was a lot to absorb.
“We have plans tonight, and that asshole isn't ruining them. E promised us a family fun night, and I don't care how bad it sucks to hear what that jerk said, life's too short to let people like that tear us down.”
“That was pretty profound, little man,” Kyle told Chase.
“Thanks,” he said, grinning, and it was hard not to smile along with the kid.
“I can't go into game night without my best partner. What do you say?”
I took a deep breath. Elise's eyes were full of hope and encouragement and I knew I wouldn't let her down. “Whose arse will we be kicking first then?” I wasn't okay. I was far from it, but I was better, just knowing these guys had my back.
As we headed into the living room, Kyle put his hand on my shoulder and stayed me. “There's something I've been wanting to discuss with you. Can you come by my office tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Alright, good. Well then, I believe it is my ass you will first attempt to kick, so let's get on with it.”
I wasn't sure anything would pull me out of the despair of dealing with my father, but leave it to my mate and her siblings to change my mood. A couple dozen rounds of video games with Chase as my partner helped a ton. It was hard to be angry or upset with that kid around, especially when we were winning.
The night ended much too soon, but I felt a lot more at peace by the end of it. It made me realize that Elise and I already had a life here. Yeah, sure, maybe it wasn't conventional to stay in her territory, but I could try to make it work. I definitely needed to find a job. The Westin Foundation was the most lucrative and best option. I knew they'd give me something even if I wasn't qualified, and that made the Irish pride in me consider other options before resorting to asking Elise for help. I decided after my meeting with Kyle the next morning, I would head into town and see if any of the shops were hiring. It wasn't much but anything would be better than nothing at this point.
"Are you okay?" Elise asked, once the others had left.
"No, but I will be," I assured her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close to me. I let her touch calm and soothe me.
We made love slowly and lazily before drifting off to sleep in each other's arms.
Morning came much too soon. The alarm went off and E got up and headed to the shower. I used the bathroom, then went to make breakfast for us. It was already becoming our routine and I loved the consistency and familiarity of it.
"What are you up to today?" she asked.
"Heading over to talk to Kyle, then I think I'm going to look around and see what's available job-wise."
She looked surprised. "You're considering staying?"
"Do
we have a better option at the moment? The most important thing, love, is that we have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I won't let my pride get in the way of supporting you. You are the most important thing in my life. You are my family, and as long as we're together, we'll make it work."
She threw her arms around me and jumped into my lap with a shriek of excitement. "You mean it? We can stay?"
I was taken aback by her joy. She had hinted of staying before, but I had no idea it would mean so much to her. Suddenly my da's banishment didn't feel like the end of the world. It was rare that another pack would take in a banished wolf like me, but then I knew there were extenuating circumstances to our situation. Knowing it pleased my mate so much, made me happy.
I wasn't sure what Kyle wanted to discuss, but I needed to talk to him about switching pack allegiance formally and if it was truly even an option. I gave him a quick call and he told me to come by his office at the house. Mary Westin greeted me at the door with a hug when I knocked.
"Patrick, what a nice surprise. We haven't gotten the chance to really get to know each other and I was hoping you'd stop by eventually."
"Mom, he’s here for a meeting."
"Oh," she said, sounding disappointed.
"If you have time after my meeting with Kyle, I'd love to sit down and talk." I had no idea why those words came out of my mouth. She had looked so disappointed that I couldn't stop myself from trying to fix it, and she brightened immediately and nodded, telling me that she'd bake some cookies, and to come find her in the kitchen when we were through.
"Sucker," Kyle snickered as we headed back to his office.
Finally behind closed doors, I wanted to get right down to business. I had things to do and now I'd just added who knew how long with Elise's mother.
"What did you want to talk to me about?"
"First, I want you to know that this has absolutely nothing to do with anything that happened with your dad yesterday. I was waiting to see if you and E actually went through with the mating before approaching you. It is totally just coincidental. I promise."
Fighting Destiny (Westin Pack Book 2) Page 19
