More Than This

by Jay McLean

  “Jones,” Kayla says.

  “Mendoza, this is Miss Jones, can you please escort her to the ambulance until we finish up here.”

  Mendoza's eyes widen in surprise and then understanding. “Sure, boss,” he nods. “Come with me.”

  Kayla’s heels are pressed into the ground and she holds on to my left arm tightly, “With all due respect, sir,” she says to Mendoza, “just tell me what the fuck is happening!”

  “MICKY!” a guys voice booms from behind us.

  We both turn to see James running at us. Kayla hides behind my body like a child, I step protectively in front of her.

  “Get the fuck away from me, James. I don’t want to deal with your shit right now!” she yells.

  “Micky…” he sighs. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.” He tries to reach behind me to get to her and I step in his path.

  “Who the fuck are you?” he spits, squaring his shoulders at me.

  “James, I swear to god, just go! I don’t want you here!”

  “Micky…” he tries to reach for her again.

  “I don’t think she wants you here, asshole,” I grind out, my fists balling.

  “Fuck you!” he yells and reaches for her again.

  So I punch him.

  Right in the face.

  Like I should have the first time I saw him hurting her.

  He falls to the ground.

  Cops start coming over but they’re shooed away by his friends that peel him off the ground and start to carry him away.

  “Asshole,” I mumble under my breath.

  Then I hear her gasp and her grip on my arm tightens even more. I turn to face her, all the blood has drained from her face. Her whole body gives out and I struggle to catch her on the way down. I try to fall to the ground gently, her small frame enveloped by my body. Then she wails, a scream so deafening it makes the murmurs of the crowd instantly silent.

  I look to the house and that’s when I see it.

  Three gurneys. Three body bags. One so small it can only be a child.

  Fuck.

  Chapter 8

  *Mikayla*

  Somehow I end up in the back of an ambulance. I hear voices and smell Jake all around me. I must have passed out. I sit up, a little dazed, and realize I’m wearing Jake’s Tuxedo jacket, I sniff it once.

  And then I remember.

  My entire family is dead.

  I close my eyes and pray that this is a dream, a nightmare. But when I open my eyes, I’m exactly where I was. I feel my heart pounding harder against my chest. The ache so big it’s like a volcano about to explode from the inside. I can’t breath. My vision blurs as my throat closes. I need to find a way to make this better. I need James. I need Megan.

  And then I remember more.

  How can everything, EVERYTHING be taken from me instantly? Anger consumes me, my body trembles with the need to release something from within. I pick up the first thing I see and throw it. Sounds of metal hitting metal echo in the back of the ambulance. I pick up more things and throw, spinning in circles pushing and shoving everything in my way.

  I want to die.

  I want to be with them.

  There’s nothing else.

  No one else.

  Nothing can hurt more than this.

  Nothing.

  My face burns, and my voice is hoarse from crying. My legs can’t hold me anymore and they give out underneath me. Strong arms wrap around me from behind, their body falls to the ground with me, cradling me and rocking me like I’m a child, soothing my hair away from my face and shushing me in comfort. “It’s going to be okay, Kayla. I promise.” He kisses my temple.

  I open my eyes and look up at his midnight blue ones, red raw from his own tears. “Jake…” my voice breaks before I silently sob in his arms.

  We stay like that for what feels like hours but is only minutes. My mind is empty, completely void of any thoughts. I’m a shell of a person.

  “Miss Jones?” A young cop tries to get my attention.

  I bury my face further into Jake’s body.

  “Have you got somewhere to stay tonight?” he asks cautiously. “The house is going to be a crime scene for a while…uhh… you’ll need to find somewhere until we clear out all the evidence.”

  I still have no idea what happened to them.

  “What happened?” I whisper, as I look at Jake.

  “It’s okay, we’ll talk later,” he assures me. To the cop he says, “Yeah, she can stay with me.”

  “And what’s your relation to Miss Jones?” Cop sounds suspicious.

  “I’m her boyfriend.”

  “I don’t know if that’s appropriate, has she got any friends she can stay with?”

  I small sob forms in my throat and escapes from my mouth, I grip onto Jake tighter.

  “Seriously, dude?” He sounds pissed. “Were both adults! And do you really think I’d be here right now if I didn’t care about her! What the fuck?”

  Jake’s accent is so thick right now, I don’t know if I understood him correctly.

  “Jake?” a timid females voice comes through the open ambulance doors.

  “Mom?”

  “This is your mother?” cop asks.

  “No shit, Sherlock!” Jake growls.

  “Jacob!” His mom reprimands.

  “Ma’am,” cop begins “your son here says that he’s Miss Jones’ boyfriend. He says she can stay with him tonight? I just want to confirm that this is suitable.”

  Jake’s mom doesn’t miss a beat. “Officer, my son is an adult. I am here for moral support, not to write out permission slips. It’s obvious my son cares for Miss Jones or they would not be in the position they are in.” I’m still cradled in his arms, on the floor of the ambulance. “Now, maybe you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your level of sensitivity to the situation.”

  “Yes, Ma’am,” cop replies.

  I hear his footsteps walking away.

  “Jake, honey, let’s go home.”

  Jake pulls back from me so he can see my face, he has to hold my head up because I can’t seem to function at all. “Mikayla?” I blink. “I’m going to carry you into a car, and you’re going to stay at my house tonight, okay?”

  I nod once.

  “Okay,” he says, pulling hair away from my eyes and planting a kiss on my forehead. Then I’m being lifted and carried into a minivan. He sits in the back with me and resumes his cradle hold. His mom drives to their home, in complete silence.

  I must fall asleep, because the next thing I know I’m being carried up stairs and being tucked into a bed. “Jake…” I whisper. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m gonna take the sofa downstairs.” He hands me some clothes to sleep in, I’m still in my prom dress. “No one will bother you here, just try to get some rest okay?”

  I start to cry, and he’s next to me instantly, holding, and soothing me. “Please, Jake. Can you just stay, please? I don’t want to be alone.”

  “Sure” …shaaww… his accent.

  “Get dressed and I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He kisses my temple, and leaves his room.

  I get out of bed and start to undress, I put on the clothes he handed me, a plain white shirt and boxers. I have no underwear on, no bra, no panties, I have no clothes. I don’t even think I can get in my house to get them. Oh, God. What happened?

  As I start to get into the bed, I can hear hushed conversation just outside the door.

  “Get some rest sweetheart, both of you. Well, try anyway.”

  “Thanks, Mom, for everything, I mean it.”

  “Honey, you don’t need to thank me. You did such a good thing today. We’re very proud of you.”

  “I didn’t do anything, Mom.”

  “Try to get some sleep, son.” A deep male voice says, I assume it’s Jake’s dad. “You have a meeting with your agent here at 9am. Don’t forget.”

  “We can’t cancel?” Jake asks.

  “Son, he’s travelled fro
m L.A” His dad again. “Just tell him you’re not interested in anything right now and send him on his way.”

  “Goodnight, guys.” Jake says as he opens the door.

  He closes it behind him then leans against it. His left hand holds an ice pack to his right knuckles, from punching James.

  He takes in a deep breath and lets it out in a big puff, blowing his cheeks out.

  He looks over at me, for seconds, minutes, hours, who knows.

  “God, Kayla. I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice breaks.

  I stare at him.

  He puts the ice pack down on his dresser and starts to strip out of his clothes and I look away.

  He gets in his bed with me, dressed in his tank and boxers.

  Once he’s in, we face each other. Then he sits up abruptly and rips his tank off. “Smells like beer,” he shrugs, getting back under the covers and pulling the blankets to our chins.

  “What happened to them, Jake?”

  He looks at me and tears fill his eyes.

  He pulls my body flush against his and wraps his arms around me, he rests his chin on top of my head and clears his throat.

  “The police think your family walked in on a burglar in the house, the asshole shot them all, Kayla.”

  I tense in his arms.

  “He got away, but he tried to burn down the house, to get rid of the evidence I guess.”

  I lay silent, tears streaming down my face, I wipe them on his chest.

  “They got a lot of prints and evidence so they should catch the asshole soon. They got a lot of witnesses too. The police are calling it a ‘random act of violence’.” He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead again. “I know it doesn’t bring them back, Kayla, but I really am sorry, for all of it, for James and your best friend, and then your family. Fuck, I can’t even begin to comprehend what you’re feeling. Just know, that I’m here for you… and my friends… our friends, we’ll all be here for you, and my family too. I mean, I know that I just met you tonight but I truly do care about you, Mikayla. And if there’s anything you need, or want, you just tell me okay? Promise me you’ll do that?”

  I nod my head. The lump in my throat preventing me from speaking actual words.

  I fall asleep in Jake’s arms, sheltered from all the bad and evil in the world.

  Chapter 9

  *Mikayla*

  The next morning I wake up needing to use the bathroom. Jake isn’t in his bed. My head is pounding from the previous nights crying and I try not to think about any of it too soon. I look around the room and notice two doors on the right wall, I’m praying one of them is a bathroom.

  I get up and creep to open the doors, the first one I open is the one I need. I finish doing my business and crawl back into bed.

  I hear voices downstairs, all male voices. I look for my phone on the nightstand and see a glass of water and two aspirins, there’s a note leaning against the glass.

  ‘Had to take care of some business, be back as soon as it’s done. Take the aspirin for your headache. - Jake’

  I do as the note says and then look at my phone, 178 missed calls from James and some unknown numbers, 32 new text messages. I look to make sure I don’t miss any that aren’t from James, nothing from Megan. Not a single call or text.

  Then I read the text from last night.

  ‘We love you too, sweetheart. Have a good night. Emily is begging for ice cream. We’ll bring you back a big batch of cookies’n’cream. It will be waiting for you in the freezer, wake me if I’m asleep to share it.’

  They must’ve come back from getting ice cream when they walked in on the burglary. I close my eyes and will this all to go away.

  I lay there for a long time before I realize I should be doing something else, anything else. I start to panic. Lawyers, wills, insurance and funeral planning. Oh, God. I’m legally an adult, I won’t have any help.

  I’m going to have to bury my entire family.

  I feel claustrophobic in this room, the walls start closing in and before I know it I’m rushing to the bedroom door and pulling it open. I stop in my tracks as I see Jake’s mom bending down, about to put a tray of food and clothes on the floor in front of the door.

  She startles when she sees me, an audible gasp exits her mouth.

  She smiles awkwardly at me, “Good morning, Mikayla. I was just going to bring you some food and a change of clothes. I’m not sure what your size is, but I think you would fit in my sweats.” She won’t look at me.

  She walks into Jake’s room and fingers the dress from last night, it’s sitting on the back of Jake’s desk chair. I sit on the bed and wait.

  “This must be incredibly hard for you,” she says, trying to hold back the tears. She moves to stand in front of me, leaning on the dresser. She clears her throat, I notice she doesn’t have an accent. “Sweetheart, I need you to understand that I’m not asking you this because, well, because we don’t want you staying here. You stay here as long as you need to, we’ve already told Jake that. I’m asking because it’s an important step in the process, I guess. Is there anyone you should be calling? Aunts, Uncles? Cousins? Grandparents? Anyone like that?”

  They had a lot of acquaintances but not really any family. People cared about them but it wasn’t like anyone would care for me. The only person would be my Aunt Lisa. She wasn’t really my Aunt. Both my parents were only children and my grandparents are dead.

  “Um, just one, my Aunt Lisa, she umm, she’s not my real aunt. She’s my mom’s best friend from high school. My parents were only children and I don’t have any living grandparents. It’s um… it’s just me”

  “Oh, sweetheart,” she coos, coming to sit next to me on the bed and holding my hand.

  “Umm, where’s Jake?” I ask her, looking at the floor, uncomfortable and awkward.

  “He’s downstairs having a meeting with his agent, he won’t be too much longer.”

  “Agent?”

  “Yeah, for baseball? He didn’t tell you?” She looks at me curiously, I don’t move. “Sounds like Jake.” She shakes her head. “Yeah, baseball, he’s kind of a big deal.”

  I don’t say anything.

  “How long have you and Jake been dating?”

  “Oh, we’re not.” I look up at her, she cocks an eyebrow at me. “It’s a long story,” I say.

  “Okay, sweetheart.” She pats my hand. “I’ll leave you to make that phone call then.”

  She leaves the tray in the room and walks out the door.

  ***

  “Aunt Lisa?” I say, the second the phone connects.

  “Oh, honey. Tracey rang me last night. I’m at the airport catching a flight out to you right now. Just sit tight, Kayla, I’ll be there soon. I’ll take care of everything okay? I promise.”

  “Okay.” I say quietly into the phone, looking up at the ceiling, wide eyed, trying to stop the tears from falling.

  There’s a soft knock and Jake pokes his head through the door. I motion for him to come in and he sits at the edge of his bed and waits till I’m done.

  “I’ll call you when I land and find a hotel to stay in and a rental. I’ll let you know if I need to go to the hotel first but I’ll try to be there as soon as I can, okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do I go to James’ house or Megan’s?”

  I can see Jake tense from the corner of my eye, he must be able to hear the conversation.

  “Um, neither, I’ll give you the address when you call.”

  “Okay, honey.”

  “Umm, Aunt Lisa?”

  “Yeah, hun?”

  I turn so my back is to Jake, I don’t want him to see my humiliation. “Do you think you could go past a store on your way here? I um, I kind of have no underwear.”

  “What, like none?”

  “No, we umm, we had prom last night. I only had the dress on. Like, only the dress.” I’m beet red. “Um, I need bras, and panties.” I basically whisper the last word.

  “No prob
lem, hun. Same size as the ones I sent you for christmas?”

  “mmhmm”

  “Okay honey, no problem, and Kayla?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m so sorry, honey.”

  “Me too.”

  We hang up.

  I sit next to Jake on his bed. I’m still wearing his clothes. I subconsciously cross my arms and cover my breasts, so he can’t see my nipples through his thin white shirt, although he probably already has.

  He clears his throat. “So your aunt’s coming?”

  “Not my real Aunt, just my mom’s best friend. She already found out from someone else, I guess she was already on her way here.”

  He nods his head.

  “So…” I say, trying to find my voice. “Your mom tells me you’re kind of a big deal. Baseball, I mean.”

  He blushes shyly and looks away. “My mom has a big mouth.”

  Silence.

  “Thank you, Jake.”

  “You’re Welcome, Mikayla.”

  Chapter 10

  *Jake*

  Mikayla’s ‘Aunt’ Lisa is on her way over here, I guess they need to discuss funerals and things. I’m just glad she’ll have someone around that she’s known for more than two days. I see her phone going off constantly and she ignores it every time, I bet it’s James.

  I had to practically kick my agent out of the house this morning. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, then he saw the swelling and bruises forming on the knuckles of my ‘pitching’ hand and lost his shit.

  My dad hadn’t seen it either, he wasn’t very happy about it. When I told them what happened, Ryan, my agent, told me not to let bitches ruin my dream. That’s when I told him to fuck off, in a nicer way, before I left and came upstairs to check on Mikayla. The whole time I sat there, all I could think about was her.