Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman

by Lorelei Elstrom

  A while later, I went online to buy a few items for our new game. Before I knew it, I had racked up $438! But it wasn’t like I did this all the time. I even refrained from paying the expedited shipping charges. When I was shopping, Regina’s face and body kept popping up in my head and I fantasized about playing our game again. This was so fun! I never got excited like this with any guys ever!

  --- WEDNESDAY MARCH 28 --- Inside her secret world

  When I woke up, I felt alive! I was so excited to be seeing Regina. But I was also really looking forward to being with Tucker. See, it wasn’t just that Tucker is a cool kid. It is that Regina would be letting me into her very personal world. It was a whole other half of her life. So now, instead of sharing half of who she is, it would be sharing all of her. It was a magnificent show of trust. It was saying, “Hey, the Meg girl is alright and I want to include her.” I’m within the secret walls.

  That morning at work, I was surprisingly focused on my job. I got more done in a few hours then in most entire weeks. I had to fill up my mind so as not to drift into fantasies of Regina. Both my boss and Pete were amazed that I kept running into their offices in search of the next tasks. But at lunchtime, I couldn’t help myself. I took time out to call Regina. Her voice sounded as comforting as a teacher’s voice should.

  She mentioned that, unlike me, she was having a really difficult time concentrating in class. She was taking my call in the faculty kitchen. It must have been even harder when I remarked, “Can you believe how blue the sky is today?” And immediately, my adorable slave came under my control and whispered into the phone to avoid office ears, “Yes, Mistress?” Then, in a measured tone, I told her, “I own you.” There was a slow response from Regina as she was trying to digest this before saying, “Yes, Mistress.” I continued with, “You are my object. My property. You will never disobey me.” “Yes, Mistress,” she solemnly whispered. I continued, “As my property, I will take care of you and treat you with all the respect deserved of my most valued possession.”

  There was a long pause. Then, came something from her mouth that shocked me: “I love you, Mistress.” This was completely jarring to me. I was flustered. I loved her too, but it all seemed so scary. Was she only in love with me in the game? Was she only in love with her mistress? I responded, “That was some kind of crazy day I had.” Then I quickly hung up.

  About a minute later, RING – RING! She called back. I answered as myself:

  ME

  Hello?

  REGINA

  (Clearly with a smile on her face)

  Do you believe the nerve of some people?

  ME

  What do you mean?

  REGINA

  This really pushy person just called and rattled me!! So I gave her a piece of my mind and let her know exactly what I thought.

  ME

  (Not really sure who was in control of this call)

  Glad you gave it back to her. People like her can really be annoying.

  REGINA

  Only if you let them.

  ME

  So are we still on at 4pm?

  REGINA

  Yep. I just wanted to vent a little.

  ME

  Thanks for sharing. It means a lot to me. See you at four.

  At 4pm, I pulled up to Regina’s house on Potrero Hill. It was classic San Francisco architecture, tall and skinny. It looked cute, but simple. She hadn’t done much to the outside other than keeping it clean and nice. It looked like any of the homes on the same block, except for one difference; there was a thick bougainvillea encircling her garage entrance with little fuchsia buds that would eventually explode with color. If things go well with Regina and I still know her in June, that plant will be absolutely stunning. I want to be able to see that!

  When I knocked at the door, she immediately greeted me with a warm “friend” hug. There was a certain air of formality. Right behind Regina came Tucker. He was bright-eyed and seemed enthusiastic about my arrival. Little boys always seem to gravitate toward me. I gave him a big hug, which was a little bigger than Regina’s. I wanted him to like me. I wanted to try to win him over. I figured if I could win him over, Regina would like me even more.

  To some, it may have seemed like I was trying too hard with Tucker. But he is really likable and I was sincerely interested in him. Who wouldn’t want to step off of the adult train to get in touch with their childlike sensibilities? I asked Tucker if I could see his room quickly before we went location scouting. Judging from her approving eye contact, Mom was having fun watching my interaction with Tucker. He was eager to show me his room and quickly lead the way.

  As I stepped across the threshold into Regina’s private world, I was taken by a feeling of warmth. Unlike the outside of the house, the inside was full of personality. It was charming. She clearly had fabulous taste in décor. It was cheery and homey, built on top of classic style. Stickley chairs graced the living room and there was a Ralph Lauren rustic feeling, accented by bold colored artwork and a sense of simple sophistication. Everything matched Regina: poised, charming, smart, graceful, and fun. That was her.

  There was also a baby grand piano, which doubled as a coffee table book display. Her book collection was very visual: fine art, architecture, a whole book of orchids, a Rolling Stone magazine book of backstage shots of the greatest musicians, and… a big fat book of Helmut Newton photographs.

  Wow! Her dark side! My whole life, I wanted to live inside a Helmut Newton photo. I wanted to be in there so badly. Helmut Newton, for the non-aware, is the mainstream kinky black & white photographer who shot for Vogue magazine and the like. His photos always show stunning people in very staged poses that usually involve themes of S&M and bondage. Even though the photos are in black and white, his trademark is giving the skin a “bronze” sheen that looks hyper real. Every photo pulsates with sex. But it’s surprisingly mainstream. I can never get enough!

  As I followed Tucker down the hall toward his bedroom, it was apparent that Regina worshipped him. Every square inch of the hallway was covered with Tucker’s artwork from school and pre-school. It is a rainbow of finger paintings, watercolors, mosaics, and paper cut-outs. It was a happy hallway.

  We arrived in Tucker’s room. It looked pretty typical with Legos, toy cars, etc. There was a fishbowl on the dresser holding a single goldfish. “That’s Barkley,” Tucker said. “Hi Barkley,” I said sticking out my hand to the fish bowl as if trying to shake its hand. “Nice to meet you.” Tucker and Regina chuckled. When I asked about the origin of the name, Regina replied, “He just made it up one day.”

  Then I noticed something odd. “Where’s your bed?,” I wondered aloud. Tucker proudly responded, “I sleep with my mom.” Regina quickly chimed in, “It has always been that way. But now that he is bigger, we are going to transition to having him sleep in here… with Barkley.” Even though Tucker was nine, it didn’t seem weird to me that he slept with his mom, especially when considering the effects of a divorce. They both seemed healthy and stable, so it really didn’t matter where he slept. “Let’s hope she doesn’t snore like a hippo,” I quipped. They laughed. Then Regina tried to somehow reassure me by saying, “We are bringing his bed up from the garage this week.”

  I really wanted to see Regina’s bedroom, thinking I could glean more about her life. I wanted to know everything about her, to see her naked in her body and thought. But she didn’t offer to show me her room, and I didn’t feel comfortable asking to see it. I knew there would be more opportunities. She had already trusted me into her life so much my letting me be with her and Tucker while location scouting.

  As we headed out to the car, Regina looked as adorable as ever! Some people can light up a room, she can light up a neighborhood. She was casual in her jeans and maroon puffy short sleeve top. It had a scoop neckline and faint little butterfly printed pattern. No boots, of course (I didn’t expect to see boots on her). Instead, she wore these cute espadrilles that tied ar
ound the ankle with a navy cotton strap. The overall feeling, when coupled with her personality, was cheeriness. My kinky mind especially enjoyed the tie around the ankles. It was a wink of bondage.

  And just so you know, I didn’t dress like the Helmut Newton models. I just had on some salmon pants, a simple white blouse, a black cardigan, and some ballerina flats.

  We drove around location scouting in San Francisco. It was more like driving around eye-flirting the whole damn time. I took any opportunity I could to make it fun for Tucker. I took a minor detour and went down the crookedest street in the world, Lombard Street, while pretending the car was out of control. He was laughing so hard!

  Of course we had to make a stop by the Golden Gate Bridge to throw some paper airplanes off. It’s didn’t go so well, though, because they blew back onto the street. So then we decided to spit over the railing and track how far we could watch it. We’ll have to try again one day with paper planes when there is no wind.

  Even inside the various warehouse locations, we had so much fun. There was a giant utility cart in one of them and we got it rolling really fast and jumped on. We were zipping along pretty good and laughing our heads off when the security guard busted us. True, it wasn’t very professional of me to represent our company like that, but I figured they would never know. I can’t imagine an afternoon where Tucker could have had more fun. Regina was really enjoying herself, too. I could tell she liked the way I worked hard to make it fun for Tucker.

  One time when Tucker went into the bathroom, we waited outside the door in this enormous space. The sun was low and huge shafts of light poured through the upper vent windows onto the floor next to us. I asked Regina to move over a bit to stand in the light so I could take her photo. She looked like she was in a Caravaggio painting. I snapped the photo. It was my first picture of her. I had captured an angel!!

  Then we stood silently, arms folded, staring at each other. I could tell each of us wanted to talk about “the blue sky,” but were not at liberty to do so because of Tucker’s presence. So we just stood there, each of us daydreaming a kinky dream. If I had to guess, I would say that she was pretty turned on… I mean, physically turned on. It wasn’t just her mind. I think she was physically aroused by staring at me, her mistress. I dominated her with a stern look.

  When Tucker finally emerged from the bathroom, we were both slow to snap out of it. But we did. Tucker never had a clue that we had been undressing each other. He had no clue that I had his mom over my knee and was spanking her slowly with a hair brush while she masturbated herself the whole time.

  After the scouting trip, we figured it was best to not have dinner together. It was a school night and Regina wanted to start the nighttime routine with Tucker. I completely understood. But still, I didn’t want it to end. I dropped them off and went away very satisfied with life. I have never felt such a connection to a human as I had with Regina. This was bigger than a friendship like, “Hey, check out that hot guy!” This was about being on the same wavelength, meshing with another person.

  --- THURSDAY MARCH 29 --- Sharing secrets

  I’m writing this at the end of a very long day of developing my passion for Regina.

  This morning I woke up to discover my ankles tied together with a belt. Then I got really aroused thinking about Regina. Here’s what happened.

  Last night, Regina called me after Tucker had gone to bed. She wanted to thank me for such a lovely time. She said they both had the best time. So did I. We talked for a while about our jobs, comparing notes.

  We were both pretty happy at work. Regina has been teaching there a long time. To her, it was a job, not a career. That’s not to say she doesn’t adore her students and shower them with positive energy. But if she didn’t have to work there, she would be happier. For me, I guess it’s more than just a job. I see my work as a steppingstone to advance and ultimately become a commercial executive producer where the real money is.

  Then the phone call turned deeper:

  REGINA

  How are you doing with all this?

  ME

  It feels really good.

  REGINA

  I’m glad you feel that way.

  ME

  And what about for you?

  REGINA

  It’s exciting. It feels like eating cotton candy.

  ME

  I know what you mean. Still, it makes me wonder if it is all fluff… not that I think it is… I’m just hoping that we will still feel this way next week.

  REGINA

  Me too. I still can’t believe I’m romantically interested in a girl!

  ME

  You don’t know the half of it. I was judging myself at first, but you’re not just any girl. I could have never felt this way about any other woman.

  REGINA

  You’re making me blush.

  (Pause)

  I think you should go look in the back seat of your car.

  ME

  What?

  REGINA

  You might want to check the back seat of your car for something.

  ME

  My car? Now?

  REGINA

  Sure. I’ll wait.

  So I dashed down to the garage to check the back seat. Under a throw blanket was a long shoebox. Any girl would know what is in a box that long: Boots! I opened it. It was Regina’s new brick red boots! I was happily confused as I raced back to the phone:

  ME

  What are you doing?

  REGINA

  I thought we should share them… I mean… if you like them.

  ME

  Like them? They’re hot.

  REGINA

  That way we can always feel close. You can know that your sweaty feet are standing in the very shoes where my sweaty feet were… and vice versa.

  ME

  Who says my feet sweat?

  REGINA

  Figure of speech. Do you like the idea of sharing them?

  ME

  I’m putting them on right this second.

  REGINA

  I want to please you.

  ME

  You mean in the game?

  REGINA

  In general. I want to make you happy.

  ME

  There’s something strong going on with us. So how to we share the boots?

  REGINA

  I don’t know. No rules.

  ME

  Ok. I’ll get them back to you at some point.

  REGINA

  Tell me a secret about you… a secret that you have never uttered to anyone in the world… not even your therapist.

  ME

  (A little surprised)

  You first.

  REGINA

  Me first?

  (Pause)

  Ok. This is real trust. I’ll kill you if you ever tell anyone.

  ME

  Scouts’ honor.

  REGINA

  Am I really doing this? Ok. Here goes. Ever since I was a freshman in college, I have been addicted to “The Young and The Restless.”

  I’m so embarrassed!!

  ME

  What? Millions of people watch that. So what?

  REGINA

  Yes, but I like to think of myself as wholesome, local and organic… a girl who shuns the nightly news and mainstream media. I watch a soap that is sponsored by the biggest, most detrimental companies of our society. And I’m supporting that by watching their stupid show. One time, one of characters died and I literally found myself mourning for 3 days. I was heartbroken. Nobody knows I watch it. It’s oxymoronic with my lifestyle.

  ME

  Wow. That is shocking. You’re right. Soap operas are the antithesis of the way I perceive you.

  REGINA

  I know. I know.

  ME

  The soap operas are misogynistic. All the characters are greed mongers… nobody is a millionaire, they are all friggin’ billio
naires! They are the polar opposite of local and organic.

  REGINA

  (Laughing)

  I know! I feel stupid.

  ME

  But if you don’t buy the products, then you’re not supporting them at all. You are merely enjoying the story. I can’t believe you are embarrassed about watching that.

  REGINA

  It feels funny telling you. So what’s yours?

  ME

  I can’t tell you. It’s not balanced. Yours was so minor that it almost doesn’t qualify.

  REGINA

  Yours will probably seem just as minor to me.

  ME

  I can’t believe we’re doing this!

  REGINA

  Go on.

  ME

  (Big sigh)

  A couple years after I hit puberty, I discovered that…

  REGINA

  What? You can say it.

  ME

  I found out that if I tied my angles together with a belt, my orgasms would be stronger. I loved the way it felt because it was harder to get my fingers in there and felt more awkward to make it all happen.

  REGINA

  And that’s your big secret?

  ME

  Part of it.

  REGINA

  What else?

  ME

  After I finished, I liked to stay like that… all night. I found it really sexy and comforting that my ankles were strapped together at night. I would sleep like that.

  Sometimes I would wake in the middle of the night, having forgotten that my ankles were tied. At first I would be startled, then quickly I’d start getting turned on again. Sometimes that would happen three times in one night!

  REGINA

  Now I’m getting turned on.

  ME

  But that’s not the whole secret either.

  REGINA

  I’m still listening.

  ME

  Sometimes I still like to do it… to sleep like that.

  REGINA

  (Joking)

  You must be some kind of freak!

  ME

  Have you ever done that?

  REGINA

  No.