Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman

by Lorelei Elstrom

  It was really hot to watch her take her sweet time in massaging my feet with her mouth. All the while I was playing with myself. Finally, I was getting really close. I ordered her to stop with the feet treatment, and to go across the room and watch me. I wanted to come in front of her as she watched, just like the dreams I had had. As I carried on, it was obvious by her urging expression that she was really enjoying being the voyeur.

  As for me, I took in every square inch of her as eye candy. I loved looking at her figure and posture. She stood a little awkwardly in a pose that was completely unpretentious, feet slightly pigeon-toed and her hands clasped gently and submissively behind her back as if she were in handcuffs. The collar on her neck struck a formidable contrast to her feminine gracefulness, as her eyes gazed on me intrusively. I stroked myself ever more rapidly toward climax.

  Throwing all modesty aside, I let my orgasm gush at full force, rolling with it, writhing, working it as deeply as I could. Regina was softly biting her lower lip in solidarity with my experience. I closed my eyes for the final rush of passion and exploded with a primal moan that would have indicated harsh pain in any other context. It lasted and lasted until I finally collapsed like a spent dish rag, slipping off the sofa and right onto the floor.

  After a few moments of gaining back my senses, Regina took it upon herself to slowly walk over to me, coming to a rest with her feet just inches from my head. It was unusual for my slave to take any action whatsoever without being ordered to do so. But there she stood, towering over my head as I lay on the floor. Then, shockingly, she looked me straight in the eye and deliberately put her right boot to my lips. My first thought, was, “How dare her!”

  But before I even processed that notion, my hands grabbed her boot and pulled it tight to my mouth… where I started licking her sole with the same passion and commitment that she herself had used on my toes. I was imagining her licking my feet and replicating that same action on her boot. It was other-worldly. It was a drug. I was not in my house or my mind, I was in a mysterious roman orgy where dreamlike lust cascaded around every inch of my body.

  It didn’t matter that I was in a submissive position, serving my own slave. It was pure sexual fire that was more an expression of our desire for each other than of which body part was receiving which stimulation. That was all irrelevant in light of the power of our passion. This stunning woman was sticking a boot in my face and I was attacking it as if my hunger for her could never be satisfied. If she had only offered her pinky instead of a boot, I would have been just as fervent. But the boot had the added sexuality of allowing my fetish to access my lifetime of self-shame.

  Only with enraptured lovers can boundaries be so blurred, if not invisible between physical versus non-physical, dominant versus submissive, respect versus disrespect, shame versus confidence, and leather versus skin.

  Regina’s expression looked equal parts pained and turned-on. She had this darkly curious gaze and was completely captivated by watching me work on her foot like this. But she also showed twinges of fear… like when a child deliberately acts naughty as they test the boundaries of authority. Oh, she was naughty alright.

  Gradually, I started coming to my senses and realized that I was practically making love to the shoe of my own slave. My intellect finally put the brakes on my libido and interrupted the scene. I frustratingly shoved her boot aside with, “Keep your disgusting feet off of me!” Regina, instantly falling into full submission, realized she had crossed a line. She pleaded desperately, “I’m sorry, Mistress. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me! Please, let me make it up to you!”

  I sprung to my feet, then immediately slipped my fingers under her collar and pulled her head in close to my face. “You need to be punished.” With a firm grip on her collar, I dragged her forcefully to my small laundry room where I pulled her head toward the ground until she ended up on all fours like an animal.

  Dread was in her eyes and it was starting to look like she would cry. I told her to wait there and not to move a muscle. She was still as a rock as I left the laundry room to fetch some implements.

  A few moments later, I returned with of a box of bondage gear, the use of which would leave no doubt about who was boss of whom.

  First order of business was to let this slave understand her position in life. I took off my pants and panties, yanked her head back by pulling her hair and then I shoved the soiled panties deep into her mouth, causing her to react with a slight gag sound. I grabbed her hair and spoke to her coldly, “Do you taste me? Do you see what you did? You spoiled my fresh panties by making me come.” Then I pulled away her skirt and swatted her ass with a solid spanking. She was yearning deeply for it. I smacked her 20 times in a row in a steady rhythm about a second apart. With each contact, she moaned into my panties, growing ever more aroused as I continued.

  Once her ass had a rosy burn, I stopped, kneeling down to offset some of the pain with some soft licking to the area. My tongue on her buttocks almost created the same level of moaning as the spanking. In a sense, Regina only wanted contact from me and didn’t seem to make a distinction between the kinds of contact, be it harsh or gentle.

  After a few moments of licking her perfect bottom, I wanted to play things a little more strictly.

  The leather bit gag was next out of my magic box of playthings. I crammed it in her mouth right over the panties, then cinched the strap firmly around the back of her head. The gag, combined with her newly fashioned “belt” collar made for a striking aesthetic. I had always wanted to live inside a Helmut Newton photograph and this was definitely getting close to that feeling! Here was a gorgeous woman on all fours with a bit gag in her mouth and a thick leather collar around her tender, alabaster neck.

  Next, I commanded her to lie down on the floor, after which I pulled her slender arms behind her back and locked them there with handcuffs. From the box, I pulled out a length of heavy steel chain and chained her ankles in a cross-legged position. The chain looked imposing against the leather of our brick red boots. Taking the end of the excess chain, I locked her crossed legs to the middle of her handcuffs with a heavy padlock.

  Even though this is not everyone’s idea of comfort, for a yoga girl who likes punishment from her lover, she seemed quite content. It was time to leave her for a good long time to ponder the disrespect she had shown for me.

  Just in time too. I needed to hop in the shower and get ready for Victoria who was supposed to arrive only about fifteen minutes later. That’s right. I planned on leaving Regina while I met with Victoria in the living room. It’s a win-win. Regina gets her punishment, I get to visit with Victoria, and then I have a horny slave to play with after Victoria leaves. Perfect.

  After finishing my shower, I checked on Regina in the laundry room. She was squirming a bit, but seemed okay and aroused. I spoke sweetly to her, telling her she was a good girl and that I loved her very much. I kissed her softly on the check and told her she was impressing me by taking the punishment so gracefully. I also asked her if anything was cutting off circulation or if there were any other physical problems with her position. She shook her head a definitive “no.”

  Seeing her all tied up and helpless like that and feeling relaxed after my nice shower, I wanted to break from the game to be with Regina and tell her I’m crazy about her. But I knew that exiting the game would be a buzz kill for slave Regina who was in the SLOW process of foreplay. The mean Mistress took a few moments to give a gentle and loving back massage in the space between her handcuffed arms. She purred at the connection. Next thing you know, I was slipping my hand into her pussy and rubbing her. She was making sounds of sublime pleasure… just as… DING DONG!

  It was the doorbell. I quickly rinsed my hand in the sink and left Regina in the laundry room, closing the door behind me.

  At the front door, there was Victoria. My first impression, having just seen Regina’s perfect body, was that Victoria was so much heavier than I remembered. I don’t know if my
perception was skewed by having Regina as a reference point or if Victoria had been putting on weight. Either way, I was really glad to see her familiar face. We have a long history together and have been each other’s sounding board for so many relationships and dramas.

  She charged right in with, “You gotta any red wine in this joint?” She was like one of those neighbors on the sit-coms who pop over and help themselves to the fridge while spouting on about some goofy topic or another. Before I could answer, she had already found a bottle and cork screw and was helping herself to it.

  She poured us each a glass and immediately took off her shoes and plopped on a kitchen chair. We toasted each other and hugged. During the warm-up small talk about jobs and landlords, etc, I started prepping our enchiladas and salad for lunch. She was babbling like crazy, cramming to make up for lost time together. After taking a breath, the conversation shifted to a more balanced discourse that went like this.

  VICTORIA

  So tell me about the new beau.

  ME

  There is no beau.

  VICTORIA

  It’s already over? That was fast. When I dropped by a while back, it seemed like love with you… or at least something more than the usual dating nonsense.

  ME

  Well…

  VICTORIA

  C’mon. What’s going on?

  ME

  It wasn’t a beau. It was…

  VICTORIA

  Was what? Spit it out already.

  ME

  It was belle.

  Victoria was confused. Her brain was working double speed to try to compute this concept.

  VICTORIA

  A “belle.” Meaning… A girl?

  ME

  Yes. This is insane but I have fallen wildly in love, Victoria. I’m in love with a girl!

  VICTORIA

  Holy shit!

  She gulps some wine and struggles with it all.

  VICTORIA

  You? In love with a girl? Are you sure you aren’t just searching for something new and crazy? It’s probably going to pass.

  ME

  Victoria! I’m really in love. It’s real.

  VICTORIA

  Fuuuuucking un-be-lieve-able! What’s her name?

  ME

  Regina

  VICTORIA

  Are you suddenly a lesbian?

  ME

  I don’t know.

  VICTORIA

  What do you mean you don’t know?

  ME

  I don’t think I could be in love with just any other woman. In fact, I know I couldn’t. But this woman is beyond special. She accepts me. She accepts that I’m kinky and is okay with it all.

  VICTORIA

  Plenty of guys could easily accept it too. That’s no reason to all of a sudden turn into a carpet muncher. Wait… do you actually do that with her?? I can’t picture it!

  ME

  That’s private information. But think about it… two people are in love. There is deep physical sharing. It doesn’t matter whether tab “A” goes to slot “B” or not.

  VICTORIA

  What about the “kinky” part? You mean she likes it rough too?

  My need to share was really bubbling up and I couldn’t hide my enthusiasm any longer. I really wanted to express all the goodness that I had been experiencing in this truly amazing relationship.

  ME

  She is kinky just like me! We play bondage games. I’m happier than I have ever been in my whole life!!

  VICTORIA

  Bondage lesbian. Nice. Is she butch? Tattoos everywhere?

  ME

  She has the body of an Audrey Hepburn, fashion plate! She’s beautiful and elegant!

  VICTORIA

  Wow! I can see in your eyes that you are for real about this.

  ME

  And guess what else?

  VICTORIA

  What?

  ME

  I have her tied up, actually chained up and gagged, in the laundry room right now!

  Victoria’s eyes bugged out! She immediately jumped up with a big gasp of surprise.

  VICTORIA

  Show me. I want to meet her!

  I literally had to block Victoria’s path.

  ME

  Stop! It’s private. You can’t see her. Just relax.

  VICTORIA

  Why not? Are you making this all up?

  ME

  Hey! I’m sharing with you because you are my dear friend. This is not a joke; it’s serious. This is not some kind of put-on or sorority prank! She let me put her in a very vulnerable, compromising position. She has trusted me with taking care of her. She is depending on me to respect her privacy and guard her safety.

  VICTORIA

  Sorry, I didn’t mean to make light of it. It’s just a pretty surprising bit of information. I mean, who keeps a girl tied up for no reason?

  ME

  It’s not for “no reason.” This is what I have been trying to explain to you for years. I’m not like you. Neither is Regina. We don’t live our lives looking for the next big stud to screw. My sexuality is dark and complicated. I finally met someone who has the exact same sexual desires as me. We have the same sexual orientation. Believe it or not, she is hogtied and gagged and left alone for an indefinite period of time, and she is probably 100 times more turned on right now than during the best vanilla guy sex she has ever had.

  VICTORIA

  Don’t you have to be kissing her or something?

  ME

  Not at all. She gets aroused by being a worthless slave to me. She licks my boots while she is handcuffed. She washes my dishes while I spank her. It is much deeper than mere intercourse. It’s a type of sex that transcends mere physical contact. The arousal comes from completely submitting to someone and being their doormat. Because the mind and body are both deeply involved in the scenario, it carries far more sexual power.

  VICTORIA

  So I take it you are the dominatrix and she is the slave?

  ME

  It’s not as black and white as that. But basically, yes.

  VICTORIA

  Do you whip her?

  ME

  It’s not like in the movies where I have a bullwhip and studded bustier.

  VICTORIA

  But you hurt her, right?

  ME

  That’s kind of like the same question as do I carpet munch. You are focusing on the mere physical act instead of the psychological aspect. The real turn-on comes with mindfucking.

  For instance, right now, she has no idea if I am going to leave her there for a few minutes or until tomorrow. For all she knows, I may show up in five minutes and cram a coke bottle up her ass. Or maybe I will give her a loving massage while she is completely restrained.

  She has no idea what I am doing right now. I could be masturbating or watching a movie on Netflix. I could be completely disinterested in her. She just has to wait there until the moment I decide to come back. She has no control over it. For once in her life, she has no decisions to make. She has no obligations to others. She has no deadlines. She just has to stay there and be at my mercy.

  VICTORIA

  You’re explaining it. I’m hearing it. But, I’m sorry… that just doesn’t sound sexy to me. It feels a little like trying to explain modern art to me.

  (Thinking a moment)

  Maybe I can understand what she gets out of it, letting go of all responsibility and all that. But what’s in it for you? The Master?

  ME

  That would be “Mistress,” the female form. Well, can you imagine what it would be like if your whole life, you wanted to have someone you could physically dominate and humiliate in a socially acceptable way. Then one day, you actually meet a person who gives you permission to act out your life-long fantasy of being cruel and heartless. Imagine having your own slave… not just a slave, but a sex slave too… someone who wil
l wear any clothes you want them to and worship your feet and touch you anyway you want them touch to you. Can you imagine the power rush of having someone tied up in the laundry room that you could either hurt, ignore, or play with? It’s intoxicating to not filter or hide my true sexual desires anymore.

  VICTORIA

  Again, I’m hearing it. But frankly, I don’t think it would turn me on very much to have a slave I could spank or make wash the dishes. Well, I take that back about washing the dishes. I actually need a slave like that. But still, I wouldn’t find it very sexy.

  ME

  Obviously, we’re different. And that’s why there are so many flavors of ice cream. Everyone needs something different and they can’t explain a desire.

  VICTORIA

  I really want to meet her. Can we meet in another time soon?

  ME

  Sure. I bet she would love to meet you.

  VICTORIA

  If we all go out to dinner sometime, am I supposed to do anything different?

  ME

  Like what?

  VICTORIA

  I dunno. Am I supposed to be condescending and bitchy to her?

  ME

  Victoria! She’s just a regular person. She’s a schoolteacher. You would treat her with the same respect as anyone!

  VICTORIA

  So how do you decide when whip her? And when are you supposed to be dominant with her?

  ME

  Think of it like regular sex. You don’t just go into a restaurant and start fucking. Same thing with S&M. You only do it when each person is in the mood.

  VICTORIA

  What do you plan on doing to her after I leave?

  ME

  I don’t know. It will unfold on its own.

  VICTORIA

  Are you two going to move in together?

  ME

  We can’t. She has a little boy. She’s a single mom. And I must say… she’s the hottest single mom I have ever encountered!

  VICTORIA