Perry gets a kick out of the examples.
“I’m not kidding. Every single night she’d say stuff like that until one of us fell asleep. It was like she was drilling it into my mind. Of course, the first few months I did nothing. I couldn’t. It’s a miracle the kids were able to leave the house dressed and fed. I lived like a zombie. I kept thinking it was a bad dream. There was no way she was gone.” I try to shake off the sadness. “Anyway, she was and still is hard to get over.”
“You’re a good man, Buck. I know she’d be proud of you.”
“She’d like us together,” I taunt. Truthfully, I’d like to think Layla is looking down and feeling content that I’ve open my heart and home to Perry. It’s the right thing to do, and she makes me want to live again.
Perry laughs like I’m lying. “Yeah right.”
“Fine, if she were here and we were divorced she’d be pissed and probably stop at nothing until she sabotaged the relationship, but she’s not here, and she told me to live. It’s taken me a long time to want to do it, but the moment I opened my eyes and saw what was in front of me I knew she was right. Nothing has been the same since I let down those walls. I’m glad you’re here, Perry.” We hold hands and end up sitting and talking until we’re both falling asleep. With her resting on my arm I find it hard to want to get up and go into my room, but it’s too soon to rush this. I didn’t move her in for the perks. I won’t be that guy to take advantage of her, especially when I know it’s all she’s ever experienced before I came along.
Chapter 22
It’s been three days since I physically spoken to Nick. I wasn’t allowed a phone in the hospital, but when Buck came to visit he’d help me text him so my son wouldn’t think something was wrong. I told him I went away because I needed time to think. It’s partly the truth. I did need time to reevaluate what was important to me. There are decisions to be made, and wounds that need to be healed.
I never would have thought Buck and his family would move me into their home. It’s unbelievable. I have my own room, and they’ve taken such care with all my belongings. I don’t know how to thank them for their generosity. I’m certainly not used to people going out of their way for me.
My quick decision to drive my moped into the deep blue sea didn’t pan out. I’ve regretted it since I woke up in the hospital, but at the same time I’m grateful. It helped me come to terms with what I’ll never be able to change, and open up to a man who deserves to know every part of me.
I’m falling in love with him. There’s no denying it. It’s impossible to hold back the feelings when they’re so apparent. He’s everything. He’s my light at the end of a dark tunnel. When he holds me in his arms, I know I’m protected. I’ve gone my entire life without feeling that until now. It takes my breath away.
It’s the first night sleeping under the same roof as Buck, and I’m restless. I’d love to waltz into his room and crawl under the covers until I find his warm, burly body to cuddle with, but I can’t. There’s a fine line between what’s right and wrong when it comes to his feelings about Layla. I have to respect that until I’m invited, it’s best I keep my feelings for him out of that bedroom.
Since my job keeps me up late at night, I’ve always had trouble falling asleep. I’m wired, normally having to read or play games on my phone until my eyes refuse to remain open.
Nestled in a comfortable bed, I try to relax. So many things are going through my mind, but mostly all revolve around Buck and the potential of something good between us. For all the years I’ve wanted him, I never knew it could be like this. I figured he’d get tired of my advances and go for it, sleeping with me a couple times and then tiring and walking away. That’s how my past relationships have gone. No one wants the damaged woman with self-esteem issues. The things is, when I’m with Buck, I don’t feel helpless. He makes me try harder. I want to be better, because I know I have something to look forward to.
Spending time with him at the hospital was necessary. We’d talk for hours, sharing parts of our lives that neither of us have been able to talk about before. I let him know all of me, and instead of running away, he embraced our connection, making it feel even deeper, if that’s possible.
While I lay there worrying that Peter will come at us with another scheme to ruin my life, I hear the door creak open. Footsteps are approaching across the hardwood floor, and then the mattress bends to allow for his extra weight. His hands are hot as they come across my abdomen and pull me near. “Shh, I don’t want to wake the kids.”
I kiss him passionately, thankful he’s here. My hands come up and cup his face, but only until I realize he’s only wearing a pair of boxer shorts. Instantly turned on, I map my way down to the elastic at his waist. He’s hard beneath the fabric, his girth encroaching the top of the shorts. I run the back of my hand over it, parts of me reacting to the thought of where’s he’s been. He begins undressing me, lifting my shirt over my head, then helping me to shove my pajama shorts off my legs. He removes his shorts, hovering overtop of me while the light of the moon illuminates the room, giving us enough to see each other as we proceed.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers before kissing me again.
My hands reach up and trace the muscles across his back. I let my short fingernails drag over his skin as he starts to tease my neck with his tongue. My body arches backward, his hands both focusing on my breasts. My knee drags over his erection, teasing him while our kissing intensifies again. His mouth leaves mine for a second time, only to make a trail between my breasts. He focuses on one, massaging it, then brushing his tongue back and forth while he watches me focus on what he’s doing.
I’m burning for this man, every inch of my skin feeling like it’s igniting in flames. As he lowers down between my legs, I cup one hand over my mouth to keep from crying out. His tongue gets to work, while I cling to my sheets. He brings to the brink, then stops, repeating the process until I’m panting, struggling to stay coherent. He knows how far to take this before I lose it completely, and just as the rush of adrenaline overwhelms me, he comes back up to savor my lips. I can taste myself as I feel him slipping inside of me, and that awaiting orgasm sweeps over my body like a broken dam. My body quakes while Buck works a steady but vigorous groove. He’s tentative to my body, no parts left neglected. While he continues, I’m stuck in a euphoric out of body experience. It’s intimidating being with a man who can do this to me. I hold onto his hair, fisting it as his body rocks against mine. My legs wrap around his waist, him lifting my ass off the bed and holding me there for a better feeling. I watch his face as he starts to lose it, eventually falling overtop of me, sweaty and gasping. I never let go, or push him off. I want this. I want to feel him inside of me, loving me the best way he knows how. It’s the beginning. It’s a start. For now, it’s all I can ask.
Then he whispers in my ear, unimaginable words that I may never be able to forget. “I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way about another woman, but you’ve got my heart beating again, sweetness.”
The burning in my eyes is a natural response, especially during an emotional time, but for me it’s happiness. I need to know this, to feel it. “Am I dreaming?”
“Nah. It’s real.” He finally rolls over, separating us while he attempts to recover. I slide closer, resting my head over his chest, his arm coming up around my back to hold me there.
“Can you stay?”
“I reckon I can lock the door, if that’s what you want.”
“You didn’t lock the door when you came in?”
A quiet laugh escapes him. “I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. I’d been staring at the ceiling for hours. It killed me knowing you were in the same house, though I pictured you sleeping naked.”
I smile and lift my head to look at his face. I trace his whiskers, stopping at his masculine lips. “I didn’t want to come to your room.”
Buck takes my hand and pulls it up to his lips as he responds. “Yeah. It’s weird. I’d be
fine with it, with the exception of feeling like she’s watching us.”
This surprises me. “Really? I think it would be the same for me. When I showered earlier I rushed through your room and closed the door as quickly as I could. Then, while I was showering I felt like I was being watched or judged.”
He rolls over and faces me. “I won’t ask you to leave. We’re past that.”
“I won’t ask you to move her things.”
“You didn’t notice?”
“Notice what?”
Bucks smirks. “The kids and I moved Layla’s things last week. That’s how Bristol had her baby book. Each kid took some things to keep and then we put the rest in the attic. It was time, Perry. We had over twenty years together. I’m lucky. She loved me for more than half her life, and I loved her right back. I’ve mourned her, hell I’ve shut down and forgotten how to live without her by my side. If it weren’t for you, I’d be that same pathetic sap in the corner of the bar. It doesn’t hurt like it used to. I want you here, and not because I need a woman. I’ve gone seven years without one. I’d never use you or expect you to be our housemaid. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a best friend.”
“It’s the same for me, Buck.”
He’s quiet for a second. “How much money do you think it would take to send Peter away?”
I shrug. “Why would you ask that?”
“Perry, I either need to buy two more boats, or another business to run. I need another income.”
“I’ll pay you rent. I have no problem doing it. What does that have to do with Peter? You can’t spend your life savings trying to pay off my ex.”
“My house is paid for. I could take out a loan.”
I refuse to let him handle my problems. “No. Keep your money. I’ll pay you rent to help you with expenses. It’s the least I can do. If I’m living here, I’m contributing.”
“I won’t take it.”
“Then I’ll buy groceries. Don’t make it an argument.”
He pulls me on top of him. “Arguments require makeup sex.”
He’s right back to kissing me, the conversation about Peter shoved to the back of our minds as we get lost in each other again.
I know my problems aren’t going to disappear. When Peter discovers where I’m living he’s going to be angry, and I’m afraid what that could mean. I can’t lose Buck. I won’t.
It’s early morning. The sun is shining in through the curtainless window. I shield my eyes before searching the bed for Buck. It’s empty. I feel around to make sure last night wasn’t a dream and discover I’m still naked.
My door flies open and he’s there, carrying a cup of coffee. He waits for me to sit up before handing it over. “Extra cream, no sugar. I took notes at the hospital.”
“Good morning.”
“So, I’ve decided to go to work with you today,” he exclaims.
“Oh really?” I’m not actually surprised by this. Buck isn’t going to let me out of his sight for a while. He probably thinks I’m still suicidal, even though it was more like a nervous breakdown. I’ve been put on anti-anxiety medications to help with that.
“Peter needs to know we’re together.”
I snicker against the coffee mug. “Together?”
He leans over and kisses my head. “Yeah. Together. Speaking of which, I sort of ran into Bristol when I was leaving your room this morning. She never gets up early, so I figured I’d have time, but she was heading to the bathroom.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, she laughed at me. I thought she’d ream me a new ass. I guess she likes you.”
This makes me happy. I was worried about his daughter. “Should I keep my distance?”
“No. I handled it. I looked her in the eye and told her to get used to it. We have an agreement. I’m going to let her see that Jody guy if she agrees to treat you with respect.”
“Wow. How many gray hairs will that give you?”
He chuckles. “I stopped counting years ago.”
I drag my fingers through it. “I’d be okay with a silver fox.”
He takes me by the shoulder and pulls me until I’m leaning into him. “I’m sorry I took so long, sweetness. I’m stubborn. I’m going to need you to put me in my place when I get out of hand.”
“I’ve already done that at the bar. I’m not afraid.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He stands and claps his hands together. “So later we’ll head to the bar. I’ll be taking notes.”
“For what?”
“We’re going to be partners.”
“Come again?” I’m confused.
He scratches his head and has this awkward grimace across his face. “Partners. Business partners. I’m prepared to buy half of your business.”
If anyone else would make that assumption I’d be pissed, but not Buck. He’s done too much for me to be angry. The bar doesn’t mean anything to me but a paycheck. On the other hand, it also represents a handout from my family, which I never wanted. “What if I had a better idea?”
He backs away and leans on the doorframe. “Like what?”
“How serious are you about this, Buck, about owning a business? I don’t want you making a financial decision that could hurt you in the long run.”
“Pretty serious, why? You don’t think it’s a good idea? I know it’s slow in the off season, but the place has potential to keep us comfortable.”
He’s right. It’s a shame all my money goes to bills that I acquired with my ex. I’ve spent thousands to banks trying to clean up my credit. Not living on my own will help, but I don’t want to solely depend on Buck. “I think I have a better idea, but I need to know you’re on board. It’s kind of a big deal.”
I don’t know why I haven’t thought about it sooner. “Get dressed. We’re going to see my father.”
“Now?”
“Yeah now, before I lose my nerve.”
“Nerve? Will this be illegal? Do I need to bring weapons?” I know he’s teasing so I laugh in response.
“No. Just because I have bitter feelings toward my family, doesn’t imply I want them dead. They’ve tried to make amends with me. I’m settled to leave it at that and keep my distance.”
“Why the visit? Is this about the bar?”
“I’d rather you wait and be surprised. Do you trust me?”
He nods. “Yeah, sweetness. I do.”
I stand and let the sheets fall from hiding my naked body. Buck’s eyes rake over me, and I can tell I have his undivided attention. “Let me do something for you this time.” I take a few steps toward him and kiss his tender lips. “Go get dressed. I’m going to need to take a quick shower.”
He grabs my hand and starts pulling me out of the room. I halt him. “Whoa. I’m naked.”
“The house is empty. The boys are working. Bristol is at school. She left twenty minutes ago. That shower sounds nice.”
Against my better judgment, I let him lead me to his master bathroom. I stop when we’re in his bedroom. I hadn’t noticed it when I took a shower the day before. It was dark and I felt weird being in his room. I’m sort of shocked at what I’m seeing.
Layla’s things are gone. There’s new bedding and the curtains have been changed. “Do you like it?”
“You and the kids did this?”
“Yeah.” He walks to the closet and opens it, showing me that half is now empty. “If you need to use some of this space for your shoes or clothes, you’re welcome to it. I own one suit. It’s for weddings and funerals. The rest of the shit is for hunting.”
I back him into the bathroom and we immediately get carried away. It’s like I’m dreaming and don’t want to wake up. I won’t overstep, but appreciate the offer.
Baby steps.
For now, I’m content with some morning sex, and a whole lot of Buck Wallace.
Chapter 23
We get off to a late start after staying in the shower until all the hot water has run out. Perry retreats to her room to dress, while I throw on a pai
r of jeans and t-shirt. I have no idea what she’s got in mind, but I trust that she has a good idea. I’m not the most business savvy guy, so I need to trust in her knowledge and hope she wouldn’t lead me in a direction that would put me in major debt.
I’ve been around Nestor my whole life and never harbored ill feelings toward the man, not until now. When I see him greet us at the front door it takes everything inside of me not to haul off and hit him. He let a little innocent girl endure unimaginable abuse and sent the perpetrator off to do it to someone else. I can admire that he raised Perry as his own daughter. I think he loves her, but she’s right. It’s never enough to forgive him.
I grit my teeth as he extends his hand for me to shake. “Buck. I didn’t think I’d be seeing you here with my daughter. I was beginning to have suspicions you two might be involved.”
“We live together,” Perry announces.
I don’t correct her. Instead I stand at her side and take her hand. She’s shaking, telling me she’s uncomfortable, but determined. I squeeze it to remind her she’s not alone.
“We need to talk about the business, Dad.” Perry gets right to it as we enter the home. The generous living room looks out at the bay in every direction. Wall to ceiling windows cover the entire back of the home. It’s a traditional style décor that reminds me of my parents home I grew up in.
Perry takes a seat next to me on a couch adjacent to the seat her father ends up in. He crosses his legs and pays close attention to the fact that her hand is flat on my thigh. I put my arm around her on the back of the sofa and listen to what she proposes.
Salt Water Wounds (Oyster Cove #1) Page 19
