Daredevil, Doctor...Husband?

by Alison Roberts

  ‘You don’t care,’ Dylan continued. ‘You don’t care if Dad dies. You don’t care about me.’

  ‘That’s not true.’ The sincerity in her words was a shock because it was genuinely sincere. She’d had no idea how much she did actually care, did she? But there was a huge part of her that still didn’t want to care. There was a battle going on inside and it was hard to know which way to turn.

  ‘He’s not going to die, buddy.’ Zac’s voice was calm. ‘What we don’t know is whether they’re going to be able to save his leg and we’re not going to know that for a while yet. You can’t stay while the doctors are doing their work and that’s why we’re taking you somewhere else. In here. Look, there’s a TV and DVDs and that machine has lots of food.’

  ‘Are you going to stay with me?’

  ‘Sure.’ Zac’s smile was as reassuring as his calmness.

  ‘So she doesn’t need to stay then, does she?’

  ‘She kind of does.’ Zac let the door swing closed behind them.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Well…she’s kind of your big sister.’

  Dylan’s huff was dismissive and Summer could feel herself stiffen defensively. So what if this kid didn’t want anything to do with her? Maybe she didn’t want anything to do with him, either. She was just trying to do the right thing, here.

  ‘And we’re kind of together, you know?’

  ‘You mean she’s your girlfriend?’

  ‘Yeah…’ Zac’s gaze found Summer’s and held it. She felt some of the tension ebb away. Yes, there was a battle going on but she wasn’t alone and if she had the choice of anyone to be on her side, she would choose this man.

  Dylan’s gaze went from Zac to Summer and back again. He shrugged and the look he gave Zac was an attempt at a man-to-man resignation that could have been funny if it wasn’t heart-breaking at the same time.

  ‘Guess that’s okay, then.’

  An hour of waiting brought the news that Jon had been taken into Theatre. Another hour passed and then another. The team of specialists had a huge job ahead of them to try and repair nerves and blood vessels and muscle if they were going to save his leg. Dylan had stopped talking as soon as the decision had been made regarding his company and all Zac and Summer could do was sit there with him and watch the cartoons he’d chosen as distraction.

  Shared glances acknowledged how much they needed to talk about but none of it could be discussed in front of Dylan. Even the practicalities of where he would stay while his father was in hospital was something that needed to wait until they had confirmation that all had gone well in Theatre. The young boy seemed oblivious to the tension and frustration that slowly built around him. He shut himself away, seemingly absorbed by the meaningless entertainment, until, eventually, he fell deeply asleep on the couch. Mandy chose a moment a short time later to poke her head around the door.

  ‘Looks like he’s out for the count.’

  ‘Yeah. Any word from upstairs?’

  ‘Sounds like it got a bit dodgy for a while. He lost a huge amount of blood. Last I heard, he’s stable again and the neurosurgeons are doing their bit.’ Mandy took a blanket from the back of the couch and covered Dylan’s bare legs. ‘Why don’t you two take a break? I’ll stay in here with him. Even after his dad gets to Recovery it’s going to be another hour or two before he’ll be awake enough for a visitor.’

  Zac stood up. ‘Great idea. Let’s go and get some coffee, Summer.’ She looked exhausted enough to fall asleep herself but the lines of tension in her face suggested that was unlikely to be an option for a long while. She needed to talk more than she needed to sleep, but how much would she be prepared to tell him?

  The sensation of being nervous was unexpected but this was a big ask, wasn’t it? How close would Summer let him get?

  How much did she really trust him?

  He couldn’t just ask, either. He knew that Summer guarded her privacy. He knew that he would probably get some answers by asking direct questions but he didn’t want to do that. The information would still be guarded and the question of trust would not be answered. It mattered whether Summer was prepared to tell him what was important without being asked. Trust was like love, wasn’t it? If it wasn’t given freely—if you had to ask for it—it probably wasn’t really worth having.

  And it didn’t seem as if it was about to be given. They sat in the cafeteria drinking bad coffee in the same kind of silence with which they’d been sitting in Dylan’s company. Strained enough to make Zac’s heart ache. He wanted to help but he couldn’t just barge into a space he might not be welcome in.

  It was still the early evening of what had been a beautiful day. Harsh sunlight had faded to a soft glow. How much better would it be if they could be sitting on the beach at Takapuna, watching the sunset over Rangitoto? They’d had their first moments of real connection on that beach and surely it would be easy to talk there. Apart from anything else, Summer needed a break from the emotionally traumatic situation she had unexpectedly found herself in. Some way to reassure herself that her life hadn’t suddenly gone belly-up. They couldn’t go to the beach right now, of course, but…

  ‘Let’s go back to the base,’ he suggested.

  Summer’s immediate reaction was to shake her head. ‘I can’t leave. Not yet.’

  But Zac could see the way her gaze went to the windows and beyond. That the notion of escaping was more than appealing.

  ‘Dylan’s being well looked after. He’s probably going to sleep for hours, anyway. We don’t have to be that long but we could get changed and bring our bikes back here and that way we’ll be ready to go home later, when things are more sorted.’

  Summer looked torn. ‘It’s a good idea,’ she said. ‘You should do that. I’d better stay, in case…in case…’

  ‘I’m confident that your dad’s not going to die,’ Zac said gently. ‘You’ll be back by the time he wakes up and it can be you that takes Dylan in to see him…if you want,’ he added hastily, seeing the way her eyes darkened with emotion. ‘Only if that’s what you want.’

  ‘I don’t. I told him I didn’t ever want to see him again. He…I…’ Her voice cracked and she dropped her gaze, clearly struggling not to cry.

  It broke Zac’s heart. Here was this strong, capable and incredibly independent woman in front of him, but he could see a young girl as well. A girl who’d been unbearably hurt in some way.

  Oh…God…had her father been violent to her? Snatches of memory flashed through his brain like a slide show that could be felt as much as seen. The fist that couldn’t be avoided. The fear in his mother’s eyes. Blood. Pain… The knot of overwhelming emotion in his gut was powerful enough to make him feel ill. There was grief there. And a white-hot anger. He had to move. Standing up, he held out his hand to Summer.

  ‘You don’t have to see him again,’ he said, his voice raw. ‘And you’re not going anywhere alone.’

  He loved the way Summer took his hand so readily. The way she kept moving as she got to her feet, coming into his arms as if it was the only place she wanted to go. He held her tightly, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. More than one group of people in the cafeteria were staring at them. The need to protect Summer kicked up several notches.

  ‘Let’s get out of here,’ he said softly. ‘Just for a bit.’

  It was the right thing to do. It was Summer’s idea to see if there was an ambulance crew who might be clear of a job in Emergency and have the time to drop them back at the helicopter base and that allowed her to step back into her own world. They changed out of their flight suits into civvies and that made it feel as if the job they’d been to at Piha Beach was really over. Best of all, they kicked their bikes into life and could roar through the city, weaving in and out of the traffic, feeling the freedom of their preferred mode of transport.

  No. That wasn’t the best of all. This was. Walking into the green space of the enormous park over the road from Auckland General Hospital. Walking hand in hand in soft lig
ht, mottled by the canopy of ancient trees, and feeling the caress of a gentle summer breeze.

  It was as good as life could get in this particular moment, Zac decided. And then he changed his mind only moments later, when Summer’s hand tightened around his and she started to talk, albeit tentatively at first.

  ‘You never knew your dad, did you?’

  ‘No. My mother never even told me his name. The only father figure I had came into my life when I was about four and…he was never a dad to me.’ He could have said so much more but this wasn’t about his story. Or was it? Would sharing something that was never spoken about be a way of showing Summer how much he was prepared to trust her? How much he wanted her to be able to trust him?

  His hesitation made it irrelevant. Or maybe Summer was already lost in her own memories.

  ‘My dad was the best,’ she said softly. ‘I adored him. Everybody did. He coached all the kids and was the chief lifeguard and a volunteer fireman and the go-to guy for the whole community.’

  ‘Country town?’ Zac was absorbing the undercurrent of her words. He could let go of the idea that her father might have been violent and the relief was sweet. But what else could have caused such a catastrophic breakdown in a relationship that should have remained strong for a lifetime?

  ‘A beach community. Tiny. There was never much money but if the sun was shining and the surf was up, it didn’t matter. We were all happy. Dad would be running his surf school or the shop and Mum made pots that she painted and sold to the crowds that came in the summer holidays. I had a long ride to school on the bus but that was okay, too. We’d go with salt in our hair from a morning ride and we’d know there’d be time for the sea again after school.’ She was silent for a moment. ‘I’ll bet Dylan’s life is just like that. When I saw him on the beach today, he looked like all my friends did at that age. Like I did. I could have guessed who he was before he said anything if I hadn’t been trying so hard not to think about who it was we were treating.’

  ‘That must have been so hard for you. I can’t believe how well you coped with it.’

  Her tone was suddenly shy. ‘You helped more than I can say. Thank you.’

  Their steps had slowed and now they stopped. Zac drew Summer into his arms. ‘You would have managed anyway but I’m glad I was there. I’m glad I’m here now.’

  Summer pressed against him for a long moment but then pulled away with obvious reluctance, shaking her head. ‘It’s not over, though, is it? And I have no idea what to do. It’s all this confused jumble in my head. I’ve hated Dad for so long. I want to hate Dylan too, but he’s only a kid. It feels like he’s the cause of it all but he’s not. It’s not his fault and…and he even looks a bit like me…’

  Zac smiled. ‘He does. He looks like a cool kid.’ His breath came out in a poignant sigh. ‘I wish I’d been around then.’ He lifted an eyebrow. ‘Maybe I was. Did you happen to notice a Combi van full of cool teenagers with their surfboards at your beach?’

  It made her smile. ‘Lots. Did you happen to notice a cool chick with a pink surfboard? My dad made it for my thirteenth birthday.’

  The smile vanished. Those big blue eyes glittered with unshed tears and her voice was shaking. ‘I miss him… I’ve always missed him…’

  In the silence that followed, they both sat down on grass that was bathed with the last of the day’s sunshine. Zac let the silence continue but then decided that he could ask a question now. He’d been invited into that private part of her life. It felt as if she was ready to trust him but he made his words as gentle as possible.

  ‘What went wrong?’

  Summer had picked a daisy from the grass and she held it in one hand. With the fingers of her other hand, she delicately separated a tiny petal from the others and plucked it clear.

  ‘We lived for surfing competitions,’ she said. ‘They were the big, exciting days over summer and there were always huge barbecues in the evenings. Everybody knew each other and they were big social events.’ Another petal got plucked from the daisy. ‘There was this woman—Elsie—who turned up to a lot of the comps when I was a kid. Mum said she was an old friend of Dad’s but she was weird about it. When I was thirteen—the year I got the pink surfboard—I heard a rumour that there was something going on between Elsie and Dad.’

  Ohh…’ Zac knew instantly where this story was likely to go. He closed his eyes as if to hold back the distress of a small family about to be broken apart.

  ‘I asked Dad and he denied it. I asked Mum and she said it wasn’t true. She got really angry and told me never to mention it again. Dad had married her. He loved us. He was ours. For ever. She was always a bit over the top, you know? When she was happy, she was super happy but little things upset her. A lot. I didn’t dare mention it again.’

  More petals were coming from the daisy. Half of its yellow centre had a bare edge now.

  ‘And then, one day—out of the blue—just after I turned sixteen, Dad told me that he had to leave. That he had to go and be with Elsie. That he’d been living a lie and life was too short to keep doing that. He thought I was old enough to understand, but all I could see was that he’d been cheating and lying for years—to the people who loved him the most in the world. I told him I never wanted to see him again.’

  A whole bunch of petals got ripped clear. And then the daisy fell, unheeded, into the grass.

  ‘Mum fell to bits. She wouldn’t eat. She never stopped crying. I got her to see a doctor and he put her on medication but it was never enough. The pills got stronger and there were a lot of them. Enough for her to take so many that when I came home from school one day and found her unconscious on the floor, it was too late.’

  ‘Oh, my God,’ Zac breathed. He reached for Summer’s hand and held it tightly.

  ‘She never came out of the coma.’ The tears were escaping now. ‘They turned the life-support off a few days later.’ Summer scrubbed at her face. ‘Dad had the nerve to turn up at her funeral but, as far as I was concerned, he was guilty of murder. I refused to talk to him. Or even look at him. And I haven’t, ever since…’ Her indrawn breath was a ragged sob. ‘But I had to, today. And I thought he was going to die and…and I realised I still love him. And when Dylan told me I’d been mean, I realised how horrible I have been. He tried to keep up the contact. He wrote to me. He rang me. He sent me presents. I ripped up the letters and blocked him from my phone. I sent the presents back. And then, when Mum died, I blamed him, even though I knew that wasn’t fair. I’m…I’m not a very nice person, am I?’

  Summer tilted her face up and her expression broke Zac’s heart. It was easy for it to crack because it had become so incredibly full as he’d listened to her story. No wonder she’d believed the accusations she’d heard about him with regard to Shelley after experiencing the pain that deception and denial could cause and yet she’d been prepared to take his word that the accusations were unjustified.

  And how hard must it be for her to trust any man?

  But she had trusted him with not only the story but her own fear about what kind of person she was.

  He had to gather her into his arms.

  ‘You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met,’ he said softly. ‘And you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready to do. That includes talking to your dad or taking any responsibility for Dylan. I’ll take care of everything.’

  He pressed a kiss to the spiky hair that always felt so surprisingly soft. ‘I’ll take care of you,’ he whispered. ‘I love you, Summer.’

  Those words blew everything else away.

  It felt as if Summer had been adrift on a stormy sea for the last few hours, in a boat that was being dragged further and further into a storm where it would capsize and she would have no protection from the wild water in which she would inevitably drown.

  But those words were an anchor. Something that could prevent the drifting and allow her to ride out the storm and then choose a safe path to find her way home.

  They made the pa
in bearable. They made any doubts evaporate. Zac hadn’t tried to defend her father in any way. He understood how hard it had been for her and he was ready to protect her completely. She didn’t have to see her father or have anything more to do with her half-brother if that was what she wanted. He would take care of it all.

  Those words made her feel safe.

  It felt as if her own words had simply been waiting for the chance to escape. To be made real.

  ‘I love you too, Zac.’

  It was the moment for souls to touch through the windows that eyes provided. For trust to be offered. For lips to touch gently and linger to seal an emotional troth.

  But the safety Zac’s words promised gave Summer something else as well.

  Strength.

  ‘I think I do want to see Dad,’ she said slowly. ‘I’ve let this haunt me for too long. It’s been like poison in my life. Probably in my relationships, too. I don’t want that any more.’

  Zac’s smile was gentle. ‘No poison permitted,’ he said. ‘Not for us.’

  ‘I don’t want it to hurt anyone else, either. Like Dylan.’ The reminder that there was a scared kid curled up asleep on the couch in a relatives’ room was a wake-up call. It was time to get back to reality.

  ‘Let’s go back.’ Summer’s limbs felt stiff as she got to her feet. How long had they been sitting there? ‘We need to get stuff sorted. Like where Dylan’s going to stay tonight.’

  ‘He could come home with me. Gravy’s really good at taking care of waifs and strays.’

  ‘But he’s not a waif. He’s…he’s part of my family.’ Her breath came out in an incredulous huff. This was going to take some getting used to. ‘I always wanted a sibling when I was a kid. Maybe this could be…I don’t know…a gift, even?’

  ‘Maybe it is.’

  ‘So I guess I’ll take him home with me. There’s room on the boat. Flint will just have to sleep somewhere else.’ She frowned. ‘Except he might not want to. Dylan, that is. He thinks I’m mean. I suspect he hates me.’

  Zac took her hand again as they crossed the road to the hospital entrance.