Abide: An Awakened Fate Novella

by Skye Malone

  “Princess?”

  “Don’t you know?”

  He paused. “I know it hurt. When you left. When I saw you with… with those others. When I realized you didn’t feel the same about me as I did for you.” I felt him turn away. “I’m not sorry, though, that I told you. I can’t be sorry for that.”

  His tone was quiet, thoughtful, and held tinges of that same thing I’d heard weeks ago.

  Adrenaline prickled through my veins at the sound of it, like I was being chased by the soldiers all over again. “What do you want, Egan?” I demanded, looking back to him. “Really?”

  His brow furrowed. “You mean do I want you to feel the same? I–”

  “What are you after? More power for your father? Maybe me bargaining for Teariad on his behalf?”

  He stared at me. “That’s what you think this is? Some ploy for–”

  “I think it’s bullshit,” I retorted. “Everyone’s always after something, I don’t care what they say. They always want something. So what is it you’re–”

  I cut off as he came closer. Incredulity and hurt in his eyes, he looked down at me.

  “I want you,” he said. “Just you. No tricks, no political schemes. You think I give a damn that you’re the princess? That your brother or your father or anyone else is king? You think that’s why I said what I did?”

  He turned away. I watched him, speechless.

  “I never wanted anything from you,” he continued. “Then or since. I never wanted anything but what we had, for every second of every minute that you would let me be with you. And I’m sorry you thought that was just some kind of sick game.”

  He swam back across the cave and sank down to check on Josinya.

  My gaze tracked him while my mind played catch-up and tried to think of a single thing to say.

  “I’m sorry.”

  The words left me before I could think them through. He turned, his brow flickering down with disbelief.

  Trembling, I dropped my gaze away. I was. Really. I’d known he wasn’t like that. I just…

  Hated this. Hated that someone could have power over me. Could make me feel anything for them, or make me worry about them. I hated that when he was near me, I didn’t feel in control of myself anymore, and not just in some ridiculous, orgasmic sort of way.

  Vulnerable. That was the word. Like he could take away what I felt around him, and then I wouldn’t know what to do. I’d just fall apart, when falling apart was something I could never do. So I’d taken it away first. Killed it first. I couldn’t risk the alternative. No matter how many lovers I’d had, I’d always known precisely where all the boundaries were laid. I’d known I was in control of how things went, how long it lasted, and that I’d never get hurt because no one would dare.

  But when he’d said that, when he’d wanted to take things between us to a place where I’d never been, and when I’d had the terrifying realization that I might feel the same…

  Egan pushed off the ground again, his eyes on me like he was reading something in my face. Cautiously, he came back toward me and I tensed as he reached out, taking my hand like he was afraid I’d rip it away.

  “I would never hurt you, princess,” he said. “Never use you, never lie to you. And I’ll renounce every title I have, if that’s what it takes to convince you this isn’t a game to me. I swear.”

  I stared up into his dark eyes. Fear twisted through me, cold and screaming that I shouldn’t say anything. That this was madness. Dangerous. Reckless in a way I’d never been, no matter how capricious my life looked from the outside.

  But maybe the fear was wrong.

  Maybe Egan was worth the risk.

  I reached up, my fingers brushing his cheek. Disbelief returned to his gaze, along with a question for what I was doing.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  I pulled him toward me, pressing my lips to his, while warm peace spread through my body like I’d been out of the water for weeks without changing and finally had come home to the ocean again.

  No one else had ever felt like this.

  His fingers left mine to take my back, drawing me tighter against him. His other hand moved up through my hair, gripping me like he was afraid I’d disappear. I held him closer as well, pressing myself against him and working to convince him with every inch of my body that I was there, not leaving, not panicking.

  But my heart was racing. I couldn’t breathe, and didn’t want to breathe because it meant moving away from him. I relished the familiar sensation of his skin and scales against me. I’d missed this. Wanted this. Longed for this, even when I’d been with those others.

  I just hadn’t realized it till now.

  His mouth broke from mine. I looked up at him, trying to catch my breath.

  “Does that mean I’m renouncing my titles, then?” he asked.

  A laugh escaped me. “No.”

  The corner of his lip rose in a smile. He kissed me again.

  I closed my eyes, losing myself in the feeling.

  Chapter Ten

  Hours had passed. Or maybe even days. Earlier on, we’d risked an attempt at moving the stones blocking the entrance, but the ceiling overhead had groaned like it would come down at any moment. The back of the cave had been the same. The water had grown stale around us in the meantime, though, the oxygen inside it thick with dust and blood and too many breaths taken in a tight space. Egan’s arms were around me now, holding me close while we lay against what seemed to be the most stable wall in the cave. Josinya hadn’t woken. The sieranchine was gone, and had been for a while. Only the fact that her chest still moved slightly beneath the tapestry convinced me that the old woman was alive.

  If someone didn’t dig us out of here soon, I didn’t want to think what would happen.

  “So,” Egan asked, his voice breathless from the lack of oxygen. “After we get out of this and find your grandfather, you want to come back with me to Teariad for a while? Get a break from the palace?”

  My mouth curved in a smile. “I’d like that.”

  “There’s a cliff not far from my home. It overlooks a canyon where these bioluminescent fish come to feed. When they light up, it’s like a million stars below you, but shimmering in all these different shades of blue and green and purple.”

  “Sounds beautiful.”

  “And there’s a cave nearby where…” He chuckled softly and his arms tightened around me. “Well, we could do other things.”

  I laid my head back against his chest. “Even better,” I whispered.

  It was hard to breathe. I closed my eyes.

  “Stay with me,” he urged, shaking me gently.

  I nodded, trying to pull my eyes open again.

  “Someone will come for us,” Egan said. “Just hang on, princess.”

  “Ina.”

  He paused.

  “Call me Ina,” I whispered. “Please?”

  He kissed my head. “Ina.”

  I smiled. The way he said my name, so careful and loving, he made it sound like something precious.

  “We’ll be okay,” he continued. “They’ll–”

  Rock scraped to our left, sending a cloud of dust into the water. The ceiling groaned.

  “Move,” Egan ordered, shoving me away from him. I scrambled up as a gap opened in the rocks near the top of the entrance.

  “Brace that! Got it? Hang on!”

  The shouts came from outside the cave. Rocks fell down around us and I looked back to see Egan hefting Elder Josinya up from the ground.

  “Princess Inasaria?” a man yelled.

  “Here!” I cried back. “We’re here!”

  Dust and grit were falling around me. The groaning overhead grew louder. The gap in the wall widened.

  “Go!” Egan shouted as he swam toward me with Josinya in his arms.

  I darted for the opening. Hands grabbed me as I came close. Rock scraped at me and I couldn’t see for the cloud of grit. I could feel the stone shifting above me, though, and the vi
brations of its movement shook everything.

  And then I was out. People pulled me away from the cave while others shouted around me, saying things I couldn’t understand. I caught flashes of braces and supports holding up the sides of the hill, in between the mass of dehaians.

  The growling turned to a roar. Turned to screams. I spun as the ground shook and sand erupted from where the cave had been.

  “Egan!” I cried. I yanked away from the dehaians holding me, fighting to get back to the cave. The crowd buffeted me, all of them trying to gain distance from the wreckage.

  But I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t see anything. “Egan!”

  He emerged from the cloud of debris, coughing hard. Scrapes showed on his tail, dark red on his silver scales, and some of them were deep. A gash was torn in his fin. Struggling through the water, he scanned the area around him frantically.

  I felt like crying. I swam toward him.

  Relief filled his face at the sight of me. He grabbed me, pulling me into his arms. “It’s okay,” he whispered in my ear. He ran his hand down my hair as if to convince himself of the words. “We’re okay.”

  “You’re hurt,” I protested, trying to turn to find someone to help.

  Egan drew me back to him, making a dismissive noise. “I’ll be alright.”

  I hesitated, not quite believing it, but my fingers clutched him nonetheless. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”

  He chuckled. “Do my best.”

  I hesitated. “Elder Josinya?”

  “The villagers have her.”

  I closed my eyes, focusing on breathing in the relatively fresher water and feeling him in my arms. “You need medical attention,” I told him softly.

  He didn’t respond, but just ran his hand over my hair again.

  “Ina!”

  I tensed at the shout and looked back. My eyes widened. “Granddad?”

  He raced toward us. Dirt covered him. His arms were scratched. Behind him, the skinny guard from earlier struggled to catch up.

  Egan let me go just in time for Granddad to crush me into a hug.

  “Thought we’d lost you there, girl.”

  “What are you doing here?” I gasped. “Are you okay?”

  He pushed me back again, looking at me from arms’ length. “Trying to get you out, that’s what I’m doing. Came back when I felt the quake, just to see if everyone was alright. Didn’t know you’d followed me here.”

  “Are you injured, princess?” the guard asked.

  I struggled to regroup. “No. No, I’m fine. But he is.” I glanced toward Egan. “Is there a doctor around here?”

  “Yes, princess.”

  The man darted away.

  “Why are you here?” Granddad asked me.

  I hesitated, my gaze going to the town. Collapsed hillsides surrounded us. Fejeria was crushed under fallen rocks that had once been entryways.

  But the villagers were nearby, most of them were watching us, and to answer him here… I couldn’t. They loved my grandfather. They were citizens of Yvaria. If I let on that Granddad had a warrant issued by the king for his arrest, we’d all end up in a terrible position.

  “Um, looking for you.” I lowered my voice so hopefully only Granddad could hear. “Can we talk?”

  He paused. “Of course.”

  Still holding onto my arm, Granddad started to move us farther from the ruin of the elder’s home, only to pause when Egan followed us.

  “He’s, um, he’s with me,” I said quickly.

  “Lord Egan Ansares of Teariad,” Egan supplied. “Pleasure to finally meet you in person, Lord Jirral.”

  Despite the words, his voice was neutral and for a moment, he and Granddad regarded one another. I glanced between them nervously. I wasn’t used to my boyfriends being greeted with anything but vague politeness from my family. And anyway, it’d never been important to me what others thought, nor had I figured on a relationship lasting long enough for my family’s opinion to matter.

  But I wanted Egan near me, and I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of my grandfather disliking him. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and it left me on edge.

  “I’ve heard of you,” Granddad said finally. “You’re helping my granddaughter?”

  “Yes, sir. In any way I can.”

  Another heartbeat passed. Granddad looked back to me. “Why are you out here?”

  I realized I hadn’t been breathing, and oxygen filled my lungs quickly. I felt like Egan had passed some sort of test, even if I had no idea what it’d been. “Ren’s issued a warrant for your arrest.”

  His brow rose. “What?”

  “A warrant. It’s…” I grimaced. “It’s Niall. Zeke was right. He’s a Sylphaen.”

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Egan look to me in alarm.

  Granddad just stared at me. “You’re sure?”

  “I think so. He… when I said that you were looking for information about what happened, Niall ‘suddenly’ remembered that he’d heard evidence from Chloe saying that you were spying for Vetorians too. He convinced Ren of it enough to get him to issue the warrant. And then, when I confronted Niall…” I shook my head. “He started going on about how we were in a war and how you’d chosen the wrong side.”

  Blinking, Granddad turned away. I could feel Egan watching us.

  “Ren put him in charge of the search for Zeke too,” I continued. “Gave him anything he wanted to find Chloe and Zeke and bring them both back to Nyciena.”

  His jaw working around, Granddad didn’t respond for a moment, and his gaze went back to the villagers still eyeing us from some distance off.

  “The villagers called in for assistance from Nyciena,” he said quietly. “Ren’s soldiers should already be on the way.”

  “Do they know you’re here?” I asked.

  “They mentioned I was helping them. And that you were here too.”

  My heart started to pound. We had to leave. Like, now.

  I glanced to Egan. To the wounds covering him and the way he was barely staying afloat in the water.

  He seemed to read my expression. Resistance came into his eyes.

  “Alright,” Granddad said before either of us could speak. “Then this is what we’re going to do. I’m going after Niall’s people. I’ll track them down and see if I can catch Zeke first. And you…” He looked to me. “I want you out of this. I have friends in Teariad and, clearly, you do too. So go there – stay there – till this is over.”

  I opened my mouth to protest.

  “I appreciate you warning me, poppet, but these people are killers. I need you safe too.”

  His expression was pointed and at it, I turned away. Somehow, I hadn’t expected to just be sent home. I’d wanted to warn my grandfather, yes, and I wanted to be safe, but this…

  I couldn’t do this. Safety or not, I just couldn’t. Zeke was still out there. And no matter what else was happening, even if Niall was a Sylphaen and even if Ren didn’t believe me, Zeke was my brother. He was in danger too. I couldn’t just go to Teariad knowing that he could die. That someone might hurt Granddad.

  That I could have already lived – be living – the last times I’d ever see them again.

  “No,” I said. “I’m coming with you.”

  “Ina,” Egan started.

  “I’m going with him,” I insisted.

  “Fine, then I’m going too.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say. He could barely swim.

  “You’re in no shape for this,” Granddad told him flatly.

  Egan didn’t respond. He didn’t even take his eyes off of me. “I’m not leaving you.”

  I shook my head. “Egan, you can’t–”

  “Both of you, that’s enough,” Granddad said. “Ina, go back with him. Stay in Teariad. I need you to let me know if Zeke returns, so–”

  “Granddad, no.” My heart was racing. We had to leave. The soldiers could be here at any moment. “I’m going. Whether or not you agree, I’ll still follow
you, so just… just let me.”

  He scowled, looking away.

  “Ina…” Egan started.

  “Egan, please. You’re hurt. Go back like Granddad said. Tell the soldiers you were trying to stop me from leaving.” I shook my head. “I can’t lose you.”

  His brow furrowed. “I can’t lose you either. Ina, he’s right. This is dangerous. I want to help you.”

  It hurt too much to hold his gaze and, with a pained expression, I looked away.

  My gaze fell on my bag.

  “You are,” I said. I reached into it and pulled out the knife belt.

  He paused. “You brought it.”

  “I’ll be safe,” I said as I looped the belt around my waist. “Granddad will protect me.”

  Egan looked like he still wanted to protest.

  I reached up, resting a hand on his face. “I’ll be safe,” I repeated softly. “And we’ll go visit that canyon soon.”

  He put his hand to mine, and his eyes didn’t leave me. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  I nodded. It was all I could do. Words were escaping me.

  Granddad moved off in the water. My breath catching, I pulled my hand away, hating the loss of the warmth of Egan’s skin.

  I started after my grandfather.

  “Ina!”

  I looked back. Egan swam after me, struggling through the water with pain clear on his face. As he came closer, his hands grabbed mine, bringing me near to him again.

  He kissed me, hard and desperate and, for a moment, everything went away.

  And then he pulled back.

  “I love you,” he said.

  A shiver ran through my body at the words.

  But I wasn’t scared. Not anymore.

  “I love you too.”

  A smile spread across his face, relieved and amazed all at the same time.

  “Ina,” my grandfather called.

  “Come back to me,” Egan whispered.

  I nodded. “I will.”

  He let me go. I swam toward Granddad, glancing over my shoulder to Egan as I went.

  His smile remained, though sadness touched it now. Behind him, the villagers were approaching, one of them looking like a physician.