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Martin Crimp, Plays 3

Page 23

by Martin Crimp


  Madeleine?

  He listens.

  Madeleine?

  (Inward.) But it’s deeper than that, it’s deeper than that, it goes much deeper than that.

  Strange music becomes audible – a bright repetitive phrase – half music, half machine.

  He listens.

  Madeleine?

  Madeleine reappears with the source of the sound – a small glittering box, which she places on the floor. She hands Uncle Bob a microphone.

  Madeleine So. Are you ready?

  He nods, and begins to mumble something.

  Into the microphone.

  Uncle Bob What?

  Madeleine Into the microphone.

  Pause. The music continues.

  Uncle Bob speaks haltingly into the microphone.

  Uncle Bob Here’s our 100% happy song it’s got a few words

  but it doesn’t last long.

  Hum hum hum

  hum the happy song.

  Pause. The music continues.

  We make up the words as we go along

  each word is right

  nothing we sing is wrong.

  Hum hum hum

  hum the happy song.

  Longer pause. The music continues.

  Madeleine (sotto voce) We smile.

  Uncle Bob What?

  Madeleine (sotto voce) We smile when / it’s white.

  Uncle Bob

  We smile when it’s white, we smile

  when the pear-tree’s green –

  we’re the happiest that human beings

  have ever so far been.

  Hum hum hum

  hum the happy song.

  Pause. The music continues.

  The earth – plus Mum and Dad –

  the bedside lamp – the state –

  have … have …

  Madeleine (sotto voce) have burned to ash.

  Uncle Bob

  have burned to ash –

  yes everything’s just great.

  Hum hum hum

  hum the happy song.

  Long pause.

  The music suddenly stops dead and all goes dark apart from Uncle Bob’s face.

  Madeleine (sotto voce, from the dark) Click on my smiling face.

  Uncle Bob What?

  Madeleine Click – click on my / smiling face.

  Uncle Bob

  Click on my smiling face and you can install

  a version of this song

  that has no words at all.

  Madeleine Yes hum –

  Uncle Bob

  Yes hum hum hum –

  Madeleine Oh hum hum hum hum hum –

  Uncle Bob

  Oh hum hum hum

  the happy song.

  About the Author

  Martin Crimp was born in 1956. His play Attempts on Her Life (1997) established his international reputation. His other work for theatre includes The Rest Will Be Familiar to You from Cinema, In the Republic of Happiness, Play House, The City, Fewer Emergencies, Cruel and Tender, The Country, The Treatment, Getting Attention, No One Sees the Video, Play with Repeats, Dealing with Clair and Definitely the Bahamas. He is also the author of two texts, Into the Little Hill and Written on Skin, for operas by George Benjamin. His many translations of French plays include works by Genet, Ionesco, Koltès, Marivaux and Molière.

  By the Same Author

  MARTIN CRIMP PLAYS ONE

  (Dealing with Clair, Play with Repeats,

  Getting Attention, The Treatment)

  MARTIN CRIMP PLAYS TWO

  (No One Sees the Video, The Misanthrope,

  Attempts on Her Life, The Country)

  THREE ATTEMPTED ACTS

  (in Best Radio Plays of 1985)

  Translations

  THE CHAIRS (Ionesco)

  RHINOCEROS (Ionesco)

  THE MISANTHROPE (Molière)

  ROBERTO ZUCCO (Koltès)

  THE MAIDS (Genet)

  THE TRIUMPH OF LOVE (Marivaux)

  THE FALSE SERVANT (Marivaux)

  THE SEAGULL (Chekhov)

  PAINS OF YOUTH (Bruckner)

  Texts for music

  INTO THE LITTLE HILL

  WRITTEN ON SKIN

  Copyright

  First published in this collection in 2015

  by Faber and Faber Ltd

  Bloomsbury House

  74–77 Great Russell Street

  London WC1B 3DA

  This ebook edition first published in 2015

  This collection © Martin Crimp 2015

  All rights reserved

  This collection © Martin Crimp, 2015

  The right of Martin Crimp to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly

  ISBN 978–0–571–32537–5

 

 

 


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