[2014] Dog Day Wedding

by Rich Amooi

  The pastor stood just a few feet away at the altar with Jacks.

  A few minutes later the wedding coordinator gave Giovanni the hand signal and he started playing. He watched as the bridal party walked down the aisle. Then Natalie approached, escorted by Federico.

  Beautiful Natalie.

  The woman was getting married but couldn’t summon enough energy to put a smile on her face?

  That’s a red flag! I should know! I’m the king of red flags!

  The more Giovanni thought about it the more it pissed him off. He continued to play the song until she reached the altar at the front.

  The pastor filled everyone in on what would happen along with the help of the wedding coordinator. Everything seemed to run pretty smoothly up until then.

  The pastor turned to Jacks. “And then after the vows I’ll say, ‘You may kiss your wife.’ And that is your cue for the big kiss before I present you to everyone.”

  “You should practice the kiss,” said one of the bridesmaids.

  Please don’t.

  Natalie bit her lower lip. “That’s not necessary, really.”

  Rebecca frowned. It looked like she didn’t believe in this marriage, either.

  “Great idea,” said Jacks.

  There the man went again, not listening to what Natalie wanted.

  Jacks pulled on Natalie’s ear like he was trying to milk a cow. God. Was that supposed to be romantic? Therapeutic maybe, but not romantic!

  Jacks leaned and—

  “Ouch!” said Natalie.

  Jacks looked down at her feet. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were barefoot.”

  Of course you didn’t notice, you idiot.

  Natalie winced in pain. “That’s okay. The pain will go away.”

  Jacks stepped forward again and kissed her.

  It was the most passionless kiss in the history of the world. Too bad Guinness was not here to document it.

  No tongue. No emotion. No passion. He didn’t even close his eyes.

  What the hell was that?

  Absolutely pathetic.

  “Perfect!” said the pastor.

  Perfect?

  Obviously he was blind.

  “Wait a minute!” yelled Giovanni.

  He couldn’t take it anymore and was about to do something he might regret. His heart rate sped up as he stood and leaned his guitar against his chair. Time to get this off his chest. This was where he exposed the fraud that was their relationship. He was going to tell Natalie how he felt. He had never felt so confident and alive. She would see that they had a million things more in common than she did with Jacks. It was like Giovanni had had ten shots of espresso.

  Let’s do this!

  “No, no, no, no, no,” Giovanni said, pushing Jacks aside. “That was not a kiss! This is a kiss!”

  He grabbed Natalie by the waist and kissed her. And he kissed her damn good. She moaned, a good sign, so he deepened the kiss. Giovanni felt the poke of a finger on his back but didn’t care. Natalie was an angel and there was no way in hell he was going to let her marry Jacks.

  Jacks cleared his throat. “Hey!”

  Giovanni felt the pokes get stronger on his back. Natalie broke free from the kiss and moved a step back from Giovanni, not speaking.

  She looked at Jacks.

  Then Giovanni.

  Jacks.

  Giovanni.

  It was like she was watching a tennis match.

  Then Giovanni watched in slow motion as Natalie’s hand came flying around to make contact with his face.

  She slapped him good. Hard.

  He stood there for a few seconds wondering what just happened.

  Did she just slap me? Hell yeah, she did! But why?

  Giovanni held the side of his face. “I don’t get it. We have a connection—there’s something between us, I know it.” She still didn’t say a word. “You felt something—admit it.”

  She stood there. Silent.

  “Admit it!”

  “Please leave!” she yelled. “And don’t bother coming to the wedding tomorrow.”

  He turned his palms up. “But . . . you kissed me back.”

  Giovanni felt the hand of Jacks spin him around and before he could react he was knocked to the ground by a fist to the face. Jacks might be a passionless man when it came to Natalie, but the guy knew how to hit. Very well.

  Giovanni’s ears were ringing and his face was throbbing. But it was odd because he didn’t feel any pain. He’d read somewhere that kisses had endorphins and were natural pain relievers. Could it be? It didn’t really matter. What mattered was . . . they kissed.

  And what an amazing kiss it was!

  Jacks stood over Giovanni as he lay on the ground, his hand covering his eye. “You heard her. Get out of here. You’re fired.”

  How pathetic was that? He had gotten fired from a volunteer position.

  Giovanni didn’t say another word. He got up and looked around at all of the people staring at him. The always-happy Federico didn’t look very happy at all. In fact, he looked away.

  Giovanni brushed off his pants, grabbed his guitar, and made his way to his car. It was one of the longest walks of his life. During the walk his mind was kind enough to torture him with the same thought over and over again.

  She kissed me back. She kissed me back.

  Natalie didn’t say a word in the car. Neither did Jacks. Giovanni would not be a part of their wedding day. She closed her eyes. She really couldn’t believe what had happened.

  What the hell was Giovanni thinking? Kissing her in front of everyone? In front of her fiancé? Yes, the kiss was amazing. But wrong place, wrong time.

  Heck, wrong lifetime.

  When they arrived at the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner, Natalie went straight to the bathroom. Jacks joined the others in the private dining room in the back.

  She stared at herself in the mirror.

  What a nightmare.

  Yes, Giovanni was right, she had kissed him back. It was the best kiss of her life.

  But it was wrong. Very wrong.

  Maybe if she had met Giovanni six months ago or last year, there could have been a chance between them. But what was she supposed to do now? Cancel the wedding? Not show up? How did she know it wasn’t just lust or physical attraction?

  Giovanni had been jilted twice. That would be too much of a weird, freaky coincidence if she did the same thing to Jacks.

  “Not gonna happen.”

  Rebecca obviously had Natalie on her radar. She entered the bathroom.

  “Wow,” said Rebecca, hugging Natalie. “I really couldn’t say anything at the rehearsal, but that was like something out of a movie. Like in The Runaway Bride, remember the scene where Richard Gere kissed Julia Roberts in the church? Then he gets punched by her jock football coach fiancé?”

  Natalie forced a smile. “Believe me, I thought of the same thing.”

  “The difference is . . . you didn’t leave with Richard Gere.”

  “And I made the right choice.”

  “Did you?”

  “Yes! Jacks will make a good husband.”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “There’s got to be more than that.”

  Natalie sighed. “Honestly? I am happy with that. And if you are going to suggest that there’s something going on between me and Giovanni, forget it.”

  She wasn’t sure why she lied.

  “I saw something,” said Rebecca.

  “No, you didn’t. And there’s no sure thing with Giovanni, anyway. Sure, he’s sweet and kind and—”

  “Gorgeous.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, he’s gorgeous. But there’s no guarantee with him.”

  “And there is with Jacks?”

  “Yes! I mean . . . no, there’s no guarantee. I’m just saying . . .” She took a deep breath. “I don’t want to end up like your Aunt Jean.”

  “Oh . . .”

  Rebecca’s Aunt Jean was the pickie
st woman Natalie knew. And not so coincidentally, the loneliest. She kept waiting for the perfect man to arrive but everyone knew there was no such thing. Everyone except Jean. Now she was just an old, bitter, lonely woman.

  “I don’t want to be alone.”

  Rebecca rubbed Natalie on her back and smiled. “You will never be alone. You are one of the most amazing, wonderful people I know. You care so much about everyone, even strangers! That’s a certain quality most people don’t have. And I’m jealous of the way guys look at you. Especially Giovanni.”

  “Thanks, but let’s forget about him.”

  “You really think it’s going to be that easy to forget about him?”

  No. It wasn’t going to be easy at all. Giovanni was a special man and, yes, she had feelings for him. But the embarrassment she would feel from canceling the wedding would haunt her. How would she be able to look at her friends and co-workers in the eyes after that? Too much has gone into this wedding planning and she did not want to look like a failure.

  What if you make the wrong decision and your marriage is a failure? Isn’t that going to look worse?

  “Oh, shut up!” yelled Natalie.

  Rebecca stared at Natalie. “Sorry.”

  “Not you! So sorry!” She hugged Rebecca and kissed her on the cheek. “I was talking to my mind.”

  “Tell your mind to take a hike. Follow your heart.”

  That’s what Federico had been telling her all along. The doubts crept back into her head and she tried to shake them off. It was time for the rehearsal dinner and she needed to concentrate on that.

  “Let’s go join the others.”

  “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

  “Absolutely not. But let’s not let that get in our way of enjoying a wonderful meal this evening.”

  Time to focus on the present and forget about Giovanni.

  She needed to try. She was going to marry Jacks. He was a good man. And she would keep telling herself that for the rest of the evening until she was convinced.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Son of a Bigfoot!”

  Giovanni sat up in his bed and gently felt his cheek. He had just rolled over in his sleep and turned directly on the left side of his face where he was pretty sure he was getting a black eye. It hurt like hell.

  Precious jumped up and walked from the foot of the bed to Giovanni's pillow and licked him on his chin. Sweet dog.

  Precious somehow knew that Giovanni wasn’t feeling well. Better licking him on his chin than his eye, which was throbbing.

  A black eye courtesy of Jacks Cole.

  Idiot.

  Giovanni was actually thinking of himself.

  What had he been thinking, kissing Natalie there like that? It was like he had a testosterone imbalance and wanted to conquer the woman like a caveman. Then what was he going to do? Carry her back to his cave where he would grunt a few times, make a fire by rubbing two sticks together, and make babies on the dirt floor?

  Caveman!

  Any chance he had with the woman was now gone. What a shame. He liked her a hundred times more than his last fiancée—a thousand even. Maybe he even loved her.

  “Shut your mouth!”

  Precious ducked her head and walked back to the foot of the bed with her tail between her legs. She laid her chin on top of her paws, her sweet eyes staring back at Giovanni.

  “No, no, not you, Precious. I’m talking to myself.” He sat up and petted her along the length of her body. “Sorry I startled you. It’s just . . . I was an idiot, you know? Of course you do, dogs are smart. Smarter than humans, that’s for sure.”

  “Arf!”

  “Hey, you don’t have to rub it in my face. I know you have some intelligence!”

  “Arf!”

  Maybe she wasn’t answering him, but politely asking if she could go to the bathroom.

  “Do you have to go pee?”

  “Arf!”

  Precious jumped off the bed and ran out of the room.

  “That answers that question.”

  Giovanni slid out of bed and went to the side door where Precious was patiently waiting. He let her out and she ran to the back to do her business. He stood there watching her. She was a cool dog.

  He wouldn’t mind being a dog right about now. Dogs were cool in general. Simple, loyal creatures. Just happy with some food in the belly, a place to sleep, and a toy or two.

  Speaking of Precious, what the hell had happened to Beatrice? Giovanni had tried calling her a few times but it went straight to voicemail.

  How come she hadn’t contacted him? She should be back by now, shouldn’t she? Giovanni guessed it didn’t matter. He was becoming rather attached to Precious and was okay watching her longer.

  “Buon giorno, Giovanni! Another day with no pants is a good day, no?”

  Giovanni looked down and realized he was standing there in his underwear again. He slowly backed behind the garbage can, his usual move.

  Did Federico ever have a bad day? After what had happened yesterday you’d think the guy would be mad at Giovanni. Not even close. All of his teeth were happily on display.

  “I’m sorry, Federico. I’m sure I embarrassed you yesterday. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “I do.”

  ‘You do?”

  “Yes! You were under the influence of my beautiful granddaughter!”

  Giovanni nodded. Federico was a smart man.

  “Would you believe me if I told you it had happened to me, too?”

  “What? Somebody punched you in the face?”

  “Yes!”

  “Why are you so excited about being punched in the face?”

  Federico laughed. “That is how I met my wife, Olive!”

  “Okay, I’ve got to hear this one. Maybe I should put on some pants or something.”

  “Pants are not necessary—this will only take a minute!”

  Federico always had some amazing stories, but he was also known to embellish things on occasion.

  Precious returned from her pee and Giovanni picked her up and scratched her on the head. “Please. Tell me the story.”

  “I was a young man in Roma, barely eighteen years old, taking a picture in front of La Fontana de Trevi. I heard a man talking disrespectfully to a woman—men were always known for whistling and flirting with the women in Italy— that has not changed. But this man took it too far and I could tell the woman felt scared and uncomfortable. I asked him to leave her alone and he did not say one single word to me! He simply hit me and knocked me into the fountain. And this is the most amazing part—Olive got into the water to help me out!”

  Giovanni smiled and set Precious back on the ground. “That’s a great story. What happened after that?”

  Federico smiled. “We fell in love, decided to come to America, and took the maiden voyage of the largest cruise ship in the world to New York.”

  “That was rather adventurous of you.”

  He nodded. “But we almost didn’t make it! Four days into the cruise the ship hit an iceberg and—”

  “What?”

  “Yes, yes, it was amazing. Many people lost their lives and—”

  “Nice try!” said Giovanni, laughing. “That was Titanic.”

  Federico grinned. “I thought I could get you on that one.”

  “Come on, everyone has seen Titanic. But the first part of the story was true, right?”

  He nodded. “One hundred percent.”

  “You always knew she was the one for you after the fountain?”

  “Always.”

  Giovanni thought about it for a moment. “How did you know?”

  Federico placed his palm on his chest. “I followed my heart. That is it, nothing more. Always follow your heart. It will never lead you down the wrong path.”

  Giovanni pointed to his eye. “See this? It’s from following my heart.”

  Federico held up his index finger. “Ah, but are you still following it?”

  “W
hy? So I can get the other eye to match this one? My heart led me down the wrong path.”

  “No, my friend. You may have encountered a slight detour. Keep following it. Your heart is better than a GPS!”

  Giovanni laughed and saw something move in the kitchen window of Federico’s house. He looked up and spotted Natalie staring straight at him. This would be the second time she saw him in his underwear in the side yard. She was going to really think he was an exhibitionist and arrest him.

  Federico turned to follow Giovanni's eyes, but Natalie was gone. He turned back and smiled. “Okay, you follow your heart. And I will follow my stomach back to the house for breakfast.”

  Breakfast sounded good. After Giovanni fed Precious and ate, he worked in his guitar studio for a few hours. It was a good distraction and he enjoyed it immensely until his phone rang. He put the glue down and checked the caller ID. It was his mother and he decided to answer the call. He could try to avoid her, but she would just come over unannounced.

  “Hi Mom, I’m kind of busy at the moment. Can I call you later?”

  “You are never too busy for your mom. Mrs. Stanton said she saw you at Whole Foods with a black eye. Are you gang-bangin’ now?”

  “Yes, Mom. I needed to find a new hobby ever since I stopped robbing banks. Hangin’ with my homies and poppin’ caps in people’s asses is what I live for.”

  “This is not funny. At least tell me you are sleeping with the fertile one.”

  “She’s getting married tomorrow.”

  “So that was the truth?”

  “Of course it was the truth!”

  Giovanni heard his mother breathing but she wasn’t speaking.

  “Mom?”

  “Where is she getting married?”

  “Thousand Castles Winery. Why?”

  “Obviously there’s something going on between the two of you. You need to get down to that winery and stop the wedding.”

  “I’m not going to stop the wedding.”

  “I want grandchildren! Do you hear me?”

  Giovanni rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mom. It’s the same old story.”

  “If you don’t stop the wedding, I will!”

  “Don’t you even think about it! Hey . . . the call is breaking up and—”

  Giovanni disconnected the call and set the phone down. This was not the first time he had hung up on his mother and it probably wouldn’t be the last. He used to feel guilty about it but not anymore.