She loved him so desperately she wondered how she had found the strength to keep him at a distance. She couldn’t have loved Albert, because what she’d felt for him had never caused her to be on the brink of casting aside nearly everything she believed just to be with him. She knew without even thinking she’d do whatever, go wherever Bryce wanted as long as he loved her.
Abby returned Bryce’s kisses eagerly. She’d waited so long for this, dreamed about it so frequently, told herself it would never happen, that the release of all restraint induced a kind of euphoria. She felt deliriously happy.
“I fell in love with you weeks ago,” she said, after breaking their kiss. “I didn’t want to trust a man that much ever again. Whenever my resolve started to weaken, I would tell myself you wanted a socialite for a wife.”
“That’s what my family wants. I tried to make myself believe an arranged marriage was better than one based on love, but you ruined that theory forever.”
Abby allowed him to nestle her in the curve of his arm. “How did I do that? I’ve caused you nothing but trouble.”
“I think that’s why I fell in love with you. You never gave up. You refused to let anything stand in the way of your success. Yet as determined as you were to keep me at a distance, you always had time for Pamela.”
“She’s a darling girl.”
“She’s a terror, and you know it. I live in fear of what will come out of her mouth next.”
“I think she’s sweet. She asked me if I’d marry you so I could be her mother.”
“What did you tell her?”
“What I told you; that I couldn’t marry anyone who didn’t love me.”
“What are you going to tell her now?”
“I’ll let you tell her. Besides, you might change your mind when you see me in the daylight My eyebrows still haven’t grown out.”
“I never loved you more than when you fell into my arms that night.”
“You must be besotted”
“Completely.”
He laid her down and leaned over her. “I wish I could see you now, but I don’t need light to be able to see your face. Your image never leaves my mind.”
Abby pulled him down so she could kiss him. “Your image is always with me, too. I thought I’d never love anyone but Albert, but I can’t even remember what he looks like.”
“Good. If you ever showed him to me, I’d want to murder him for what he did to you.”
She realized now it wasn’t knowing Albert didn’t love her that had hurt so badly. It was knowing he’d lied about her, tried to get her in trouble just because she wouldn’t lie for him. He’d ruined her reputation out of spite.
“I’ve thought about him for the last time,” Abby said. “Now it’s up to you to make sure I never have reason to think of him or any other man again.”
“That’s a challenge I can’t resist,” Bryce said.
If anyone had told Abby that one day she’d be sleeping in a tent on the plains in the Colorado Territory being kissed by the man she loved with a dozen soldiers sleeping no more than fifty yards away, she’d have sworn it couldn’t be. She felt giddy at the improbability of it all. Surely she’d wake up and find she’d dreamed the whole thing.
But the feel of Bryce’s lips was too unmistakable, the pressure of his chest against her breasts too stimulating, the knowledge that the man she loved loved her in return too stupefying for her to have remained asleep. She had to be awake. This had to be real.
Throwing caution to the winds, Abby threw her head after her heart.
This wasn’t the first time Bryce had held Abby in his arms and kissed her, but never before had she allowed herself to concentrate on the exquisite feeling. Now she was free to wallow in it, to enjoy every second, every sensation, every shred of happiness. This wonderful man belonged to her and she to him. She could do this every night for the rest of her life.
Knowing that only made Abby more hungry to experience everything she could right now. Having given him free rein, she realized she’d been missing more than she guessed. Such as Bryce kissing her shoulders. That sent shivers up and down her spine. It had such a delicious feeling of decadence, even naughtiness. Abby had been circumspect her whole life and still ended up suspected of a crime. Never again would she hold back. She wanted everything regardless of the cost.
She wanted it when Bryce’s tongue invaded her mouth, searching for the sweetness. Her arms tightened and she clung to him, her own tongue forcing its way into his mouth, engaging in a sensuous dance of invitation. She had never felt such a need to be close to anyone, to belong to him, to be part of him. And for him to belong to her, to be part of her. It was as though their lovemaking was a dance to signify the commingling of their spirits, the mating of their souls, the joining of their lives.
She wanted it just as much when Bryce kissed the tops of her breasts. It was an intimacy she’d never shared with any man, not even in her dreams. It was so much more meaningful that she was now sharing it with Bryce, welcoming him, holding his head hard against her. Just the feel of Bryce’s chest pressed against her breasts stirred sensations in her belly. His kisses had turned those same sensations into spirals of warmth that caused her to move against him, to know instinctively there was more, much more.
She thought she’d found it when Bryce reached inside her chemise and cupped her breast, but she learned almost immediately she was wrong. When he stroked her nipple with the tip of his finger, she moaned with delight. When he kissed her nipple, she writhed with pleasure. When he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked it gently, she thought she’d rise off the ground in ecstasy. Shivers arced through her body like sparks from a Fourth of July firecracker, leaving trails in their wake that slowly turned to heat. When he nipped gently at her nipple, she gasped in shock and pleasure.
She offered no objection when he slipped her chemise off her shoulders and down to her waist. She wanted to give her body to him. He was teaching her things she’d never known were possible. Not even Aunt Emma’s hints had helped her imagine the glorious things that could happen when a man and a woman fell in love and gave themselves to each other. Maybe not every man knew what Bryce knew. If not, it was a great shame so many women had no idea how beautiful giving yourself to a man could be.
And she was giving herself to Bryce. There would be no hesitation, no stopping, no wondering if she was doing the right thing. She loved him, he loved her, and she wanted them to be together in every way possible.
She reached up and took his face in her hands. With her fingertips she traced the outline of his strong jaw, felt the roughness of his beard, the softness of his full lips, the thickness of his hair. She pulled his head down and took his mouth in a slow, languorous kiss. She’d never thought of Bryce as soft in any way, but his lips were like warm, moist velvet. As the kiss deepened in intensity, she felt his heat pour into her and spread throughout her body. Unlike the languid warmth that pooled in her belly, this heat burned its way through her like a fire, consuming her.
Her breathing became quick and shallow. Her body arched toward him, moved against him. His hands slid down her sides, leaving her skin deliriously sensitive to touch. All her senses were heightened until she felt she was a mass of nerve endings, aware of textures for the first time in her life.
She was acutely aware the first moment Bryce’s hand touched her thigh. Immediately her skin burned from his touch, heat spiraling out in rapidly expanding circles. It increased tenfold when his hand moved between her legs. Her body stiffened, the muscles clamped into place when he entered her.
“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered.
“I know,” she said, trying to relax her muscles. Bryce’s fingers touched a spot that sent a shock through her unlike anything else she’d ever experienced. Every muscle in her body turned rigid, her bream stopped. Then just as suddenly she went limp and her breathing started up at twice the speed.
Her body took on a life of its own. She couldn’t even control sim
ple movements. The spot Bryce had found sent bone-numbing pleasure radiating throughout her body, shattering her thoughts completely. She could only react to the increasing power of the sensations that held her in their thrall. Her body rose off the ground, pushed itself against Bryce’s hand trying to drive him deeper inside her. The harsh sound of her breathing was broken intermittently by moans that grew more feverish. She was approaching an edge, an abyss, a point where she could endure no more.
She tried to call out to Bryce, but her own moans of pleasure stifled her protests. She tried to push him away only to have her arms wrap themselves around him and pull him closer. She tried to throw up a wall to hold back the tide, but the flood doubled in size and then exploded, carrying her up and away, overwhelmed by ecstasy.
Before she could recover herself, Bryce moved above her and she felt him enter her, stretching her until she was certain she could stretch no more. Almost immediately his movement within her brought a resurgence of the sensations that had so recently robbed her of all ability to think or act. Abby welcomed the feeling of being joined with Bryce, sensing she was no longer an individual but part of a larger whole. She let the sensations wash over her, lift her out of herself, take her to the edge of ecstasy that she truly shared with the man she loved. Without knowing it, this was what she’d been waiting for, what she’d lived for. She embraced the climax that carried them into oblivion together.
Abby could hardly wait to reach the fort. They had decided their return from their trip to the ranches wasn’t a good time to announce their new relationship, but trying to act as if nothing had changed between them was about the hardest tiling Abby had ever done. A hundred times a day she impulsively turned to Bryce, a comment on her lips that would have made their relationship unmistakable. She practically had to tie her hands to her sides to keep from reaching out to touch him every time he came near. The frustration grew so great, she felt like screaming.
The last two days had been a disappointing series of visits to ranchers who said they didn’t have any beef to sell, didn’t want to work with a woman, refused to sell beef to the Indians, or simply didn’t want to expose their hands to the danger of attack. One of them named Parker said he’d sell his beef to Abby, but only if she could pay cash up front.
Lieutenant Collier had recovered the lost tents, but Abby had spent her last night as the guest of a rancher. She lay in her comfortable bed wide awake, wishing she could share a bedroll with Bryce. She kept telling herself to be patient, that they would soon be able to tell everyone of their love.
She had never been part of what is generally called society, certainly not the society into which Bryce had been born, but she’d been brought up well and had no fear of being unable to be a wife Bryce could be proud of. She would be a good mother to Pamela and the children she hoped to have, but she had some significant questions when it came to helping him in his career. There would be a great deal to learn and she would meet many powerful people, but it wasn’t those challenges that concerned her. It was giving up her independence.
She liked working with Moriah in the store. It had given Moriah something important to do, brought out a side of her that had been hidden, given her confidence. Abby liked feeling they provided an essential service to the community. People depended on the store to improve the quality of their lives. And then there were the Indians. It was important they continue to receive the beef they needed to survive.
She couldn’t forget the people who were trying to drive her out, who had rustled her beef, attacked her, burned her store, maybe even murdered her father. She couldn’t let them defeat her.
Nor could she give up this man, no matter what the cost. There had to be some compromise, some way she could have the best of everything.
“You glad to be home?” Bryce asked as they approached the fort.
“Yes,” Abby said. “I had no idea how tiring it was to ride a horse all day. I thought the horse did all the work.”
Bryce laughed. “That’s why horseback riding is considered good exercise.”
The fort seemed so peaceful lying quietly under the afternoon sun, it was hard to realize tensions were so high that war between Indians and ranchers and homesteaders could break out any minute.
“It seems so quiet,” Abby said to Bryce.
“That’s the way I like it. The men find it unbearably boring, but I prefer boredom to getting shot at”
She had listened to the men talk about their experiences during the recent war. It sounded horribly brutal. She couldn’t imagine why any man would want to fight if he could avoid it. Descriptions of what Indians sometimes did to their victims were even more shocking.
Their entry into the fort caused only mild interest. None of the men in the patrol were married, and there had been no fighting to talk about Abby expected the only person to show any real excitement would be Pamela.
“I’ll come over tonight to talk about what’s to be done about the beef contract” Abby said to Bryce.
“I want you to come with me now.”
“After being gone for five days, Pamela deserves to have you all to herself. She’ll be full of questions.”
“Not as many as she will have tonight. You sure you want to wait?”
“Yes. Moriah will be waiting to hear the results of our trip.”
“I’m sorry we don’t have any good news to tell her.”
Even though they would be separated only by a parade ground, Abby wanted to kiss him good-bye. It felt unnatural just to ride off as if nothing had changed. Bryce got down and helped her dismount “One of the men will take your saddlebags to the trading post after they’ve unsaddled me horses,” he said. He kept his hands on her waist a moment longer. “See you tonight,” he said. “Come early,” he added in a whisper.
Refusing to stand there staring after Bryce like a lovesick female, Abby turned toward the trading post, telling herself not to look back. She’d be seeing him soon enough.
The store was busy when she entered. Moriah, Dome, and another woman were all serving customers. Even in time of peace, soldiers always needed something. Moriah looked up when Abby entered, but her expression didn’t change. The only difference Abby could see was in her eyes. Moriah seemed to relax; the lines at the corners of her eyes smoothed out. That was about as much as Moriah would do to show she was glad Abby was back safely.
Dorrie was just the opposite. “Abby!” she shrieked in a shrill voice. “You’re back.”
Immediately everyone in the store looked up. “We’re all back,” Abby said. “We had a very uneventful trip.”
“It’s been quiet as a tomb here,” Dorrie said. “I was hoping you at least would have something exciting to tell us.”
“Nothing. Everyone’s still getting ready for the spring roundup.”
Moriah finished with her customer and followed Abby into the back. “Did you find anybody to deliver the beef?” she asked.
“No, but—”
“I didn’t think you would. Someone is determined we won’t succeed with that contract. I think we ought to give it up.”
“When did you come to that conclusion?”
“While you were gone. I didn’t like the idea of you being out there. I can’t see any reason for you to keep risking your life because of this contract.”
“I wasn’t out there alone. I had Bryce and a patrol led by Lieutenant Collier.”
“Less than a dozen men. You said mere were hundreds of men on the reservation.”
“I don’t want to talk about that now,” Abby said. “I have something to tell you.” She couldn’t help grinning. She was bursting to tell her news.
“What?” Moriah asked.
“Bryce and I are in love,” Abby announced, practically dancing with excitement. She took both of Moriah’s hands and held them tightly. “He told me two nights ago.”
“You said you didn’t love him,” Moriah said. There was no smile in her eyes.
“I kept saying that because I hoped I
could make myself believe it, but I knew weeks ago I was in love with him. I just never thought there was a chance for us.”
“And what makes you think there is now?”
“I just told you. He loves me.”
“How do you know?”
“He told me. He said the words. I love you.”
“How do you know he’s telling the truth?”
Abby hadn’t expected her sister to be thrilled, but she hadn’t expected her to be almost angry either.
“I can tell,” Abby said.
“You were wrong about Albert.”
“That’s part of the reason I can be so sure now. This is nothing like it was with Albert.”
“He could be telling you he loves you so you’ll become his mistress.”
“Moriah! I can’t believe you’d say a thing like that, not after all the help he’s given us.”
“He’s a handsome man, rich and successful. I’m sure he’s used to women falling all over him, some willing to do anything to please him. He’s been out here for years without a wife. Something like that could drive a man to say things he doesn’t mean.”
“Have you been talking to Dorrie?”
“Why would Dorrie say something like that?”
“I don’t know. Why would you?”
“Because I’m worried about you. I know you as well as anyone can. You’re a beautiful woman, single, and beguiling. Men have always liked you. I didn’t expect anything different from him, but you were so adamant you weren’t going to get married, that you could never trust another man, I thought your interest in him was mostly to show you could attract someone even better than Albert.”
“I’m fully aware of how superior Bryce is to Albert. When I think back, I can’t imagine what I saw in him.”
“He was handsome and attentive, but he wasn’t the only man to show an interest in you.”
The Independent Bride Page 27
