A Damaging Dilemma (An East Pender Cozy Mystery Book 13)

by Leona Fox

  “I know you must want my help. Otherwise, you wouldn't have shown me this. You could have just thrown it away and not given it a second thought, but I can't help you if you don't tell me everything you know. I'm not getting anywhere right now and it's no good showing me this because it doesn't help me. Please, let me help you, that's all I'm asking. Just give me a name or some indication of what's going on here, just tell me something.”

  But, yet again, her pleas fell on deaf ears. Alexander was sitting down and he couldn't bring himself to speak. Instead, he started weeping in front of Ellen. She was standing before him and she gave him a pitying look, for whatever he was holding inside was tearing him apart. There were so many things she wanted to say but none of the words were right. The only person who could help Alexander was himself. She just hoped he did it before it was too late.

  “If you want to tell me anything you know where to find me,” Ellen said as she placed the note down on the coffee table and walked out of the room.

  * * *

  Alexander lifted his head and watched through his bleary eyes as the door closed behind Ellen. How he wished he could have told her the truth about everything and unburdened himself of his curse, but it had been locked inside him for so long he couldn't speak the words. Anytime he tried his throat closed up and nothing came out except silence. The tears fell down his cheeks and his entire body shuddered. He had made so much progress over the years, but this reminded him of those dark nights when thoughts of death tugged at his mind, and the emotion swelled within him, and all he could do was weep until his body was drained and he could drift to sleep.

  With a trembling hand he reached out and plucked the note from the coffee table. Tears fell from his face and stained the paper, making little wet patches that bloomed and spread out. The note was typed, but he knew exactly who had written it. He had known from the first crime who was doing this, but he thought by now that was in the past, that it was history. He should have known better. He should have known that he couldn't escape the years that had been chasing him.

  The note fell from his hand as a stabbing pain shot through his gut. He doubled over and clutched his arms around himself, trying to steady himself and brace himself against that which was tearing through his innards. His eyes clamped shut as he tried controlling his breathing and remembering the exercises he had practiced so many times; the techniques he had learned to control his emotions and memories, and that had been instrumental in pulling him out of his solitude and back into the world. But all the progress seemed to be for nothing as he felt himself slipping back into that dark place where the only thing was his own mind and the demons that resided within it. Demons that nagged him and taunted him, tormented him with the worst things anyone could say, and the only escape seemed too far, too impossible to reach.

  With a herculean effort he managed to wrench himself away from all that and return to peace. He rose from the sofa and stood, taking stock of his presence in the world. He stretched out his arms and felt the sensations through his body as he moved his fingers and toes. He breathed the air, smelled the scents around him, and listened to the noises, focusing on all of them instead of the thoughts that raged within his mind.

  They had been at his house. They had had their hands on his door, pushed a letter through his letterbox. How long had they known where he lived? How long had they been watching him? His eyes cracked open and he glanced at the window, so afraid that he would see a face staring back at him, but there was nothing.

  He hadn't told Ellen but he had been struggling over the past few days, ever since this had started. It was difficult enough to get back into the rhythm of work after being a recluse for so long, let alone with all this happening. With every chime of the bell above the door he wondered if they were going to enter the cafe, but it had yet to happen. It didn't stop his heart from being seized by fear, though. Ellen had been so good to him he knew he couldn't let this opportunity slip away. This job meant a lot to him and he was going to try his hardest to keep it. After all this time he deserved it. That's what he tried to tell himself anyway, but it always had been a difficult thing for him to recognize what he deserved.

  Alexander took some more deep breaths and then walked upstairs to a small store room where he kept much from his past life. There was still a lot from his relationship with Stephanie, and whenever he saw it regret pinched at his heart. There had been so many times when he had tried to throw it all out, but every time he went to do it he couldn't quite bring himself to go through with it. This time, however, he ignored those boxes and went to a cupboard in the back, stepping over various bags and drawers. A wry smile crossed his face as he remembered how much Stephanie hated his untidiness, and what a fit she would have if she saw the state of this room. Then a wave of sadness ran through him as he thought about the way he had treated her and all the things he would do differently if he had another chance.

  Steeling himself against those thoughts he reached up to a cupboard and paused as he opened the door, unsure if he really wanted to face this part of his past. Yet, he knew somehow that he had to do it. His fingers curled around the wooden handle and pulled open the door, then he reached in with both hands and pulled out a box, setting it down beside him. Rooting through the things in the box he found an old high school picture, faded now, given all the years it had sat in the open air unprotected. He ran his finger across his face, finding himself in the back row, standing tall with a proud smile on his face.

  It was strange to see himself back then. He had changed so much, but at that age he never would have fathomed that his life would turn out the way it had. There were so many things he would say to that boy if he could go through time and meet his younger self. His eyes drifted over the rest of the class and he remembered them all, but when he got to their faces his eyes froze. All the memories came back to him, as vivid as though he was there, living through them again. His fingers squeezed the edge of the picture tightly, so tightly that the ends of his fingers turned white. Then, he dropped it and left the room.

  Later that night he was awoken by a sharp noise. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around, half-asleep. Then he saw the moonlight being caught on the floor by the shards of glass, each of them reflecting a piece of the moon. In the middle of them sat a hefty rock. Alexander's throat ran dry. The curtains were fluttering now that the night air was flowing through a hole in the window. He got out of bed and carefully made his way to the window. Taking the curtain in between his fingers, he pulled it back slightly as he peered out, hidden in the darkness. As his eyes scanned outside he gasped and lost his hold of the curtain. Three figures stood at the edge of his front yard, staring up at the window, up at him. He staggered back, holding his head in his hands, whispering to himself, 'no, no, no.' When he summoned the courage to return to the window he saw the three figures were no longer there.

  But he knew they would be back.

  Chapter 7

  Since Ellen had seen the note she was sure the mystical symbol was not the focus of the investigation and there was no sense in pursuing that. In some ways she was glad as it would have opened up a whole new world for her, and really, humans are monstrous enough without there being actual demons wandering the globe. But Alexander's refusal to give her anything troubled her as it made the stakes higher. This was no longer a simple case of vandalism, for it had turned into harassment. She left Alexander's house feeling annoyed at him, but knew she had to do something. Otherwise, she would go stir crazy.

  Trying to work through the reasons why someone would vandalize Alexander's house after all this time, she spoke aloud while playing with Scampy. She tossed a ball around the room and took it from his slobbering mouth every time he brought it back. Sometimes she would trick him by merely pretending to throw it. His little body would twist and almost get caught up in itself as he was overwhelmed with excitement.

  “Okay, so whoever did this wants to remind Alexander of something and get back at him, really tortu
re him psychologically. They always have gone to his house when he's not there, which would suggest they have been watching him. So they're local. Why after all this time? Why not do it when he was in the house? Have they just returned to East Pender? Have they only realized that Alexander is still in East Pender since he started working at the cafe? Given that he shut himself away after his relationship with Stephanie, it's not likely that it happened after that. So it had to have been while he was with Stephanie or earlier, probably earlier given how Stephanie had mentioned that he kept secrets. Although, she did also mention that he changed over the time they spent together. So maybe it happened while they were together.” Then she realized she needed to speak to Stephanie again, as the woman was the only person who knew anything about Alexander, other than the man himself.

  Stephanie looked much the same as before, but this time when she saw Ellen she was not as friendly, and was almost disappointed.

  “I guess you haven't been lucky in your search,” she said, opening the door, allowing Ellen to walk through.

  She gestured toward the lounge as she disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. Ellen sat in the same place as she had before. This time the television was off and a book lay open on the sofa. When Stephanie sat down she folded a corner of a page and placed the book on the coffee table. She already had a half-empty mug of hot chocolate on the table, and pulled this close to her as she folded her legs underneath her body.

  “So what can I help you with today?” she asked.

  “I hope everything,” Ellen said.

  “We haven't got anywhere with the case and Alexander isn't even saying anything, but the attacks have continued. There was a symbol burned into his front yard, and a letter was posted through his door. It said, 'We'll never forget'. Do you have any idea what this could mean, or who could be doing this? I know last time you said you didn't, but I was hoping now that you've had a few days to think about it something may have come back to you.”

  “I really wish it had, but it's like I said last time. He kept things from me and I tried to get him to open up about them, but he never would.”

  “You did say, though, that he changed during your relationship. Could you tell me a little more about that?”

  “I guess it's just like in any relationship. You find out more about the person the longer you're together. It was just one of those things that happened.”

  “I'm not entirely convinced that's the case. Can you think if there was a period when you first started to notice this change? Perhaps there was a time when you saw that there was a change in his behavior. Then maybe try thinking if anything strange happened around that time also? I think whoever is doing this wants to remind Alexander of something. I think it either happened when the two of you were together, or it was brought back up, and that's why he changed and started on a downward spiral.”

  “I just don't get why he wouldn't have told me,” Stephanie said, uncurling her legs and shifting her position as she tried to think.

  She took a long sip of her drink and then set the mug back down on the table, letting her hands rest in her lap. “We shared everything back then. At least, I told him everything. I didn't think he'd keep anything from me. Let me think...” she said, drumming a finger against her lower lip as she cast her mind back to when she was in love, and thought the future would be filled with romance, passion, and happiness.

  “I guess I first started to notice around then, but I tried to brush it off because...oh my gosh,” she said, and a look of realization came across her face.

  “The letters! I can't believe I forget about them!”

  “Letters? What letters?” Ellen asked, leaning forward as she was intrigued.

  Stephanie leaned forward, too, gesturing wildly with her hands as she tried remembering that which had been lost in the recesses of her mind for so long.

  “He started getting these letters. I don't know how many. I only found out because I came home earlier than him one day and found one. It was handwritten and was from a local address, but he never would say who wrote it or what was in it. But yeah...I guess now, thinking about that, it was around then when he started becoming different, moodier, lashing out at me. I don't even know how long the letters had been coming or how long they lasted. At first I thought it was another woman. So one day I tried to sneak into his desk to find them but they all had been shredded. Whatever was in those letters was important, so important he couldn't tell me what it was.”

  Ellen leaned back on the sofa and puffed out her cheeks. “Are you sure there wasn't any indication about the contents of the letters or who they were from? Did you notice anyone lurking outside your home or anything?”

  Stephanie shook her head. “No, nothing like that. At the time I didn't really pay as much attention to the letters as I should have. Our problems started and those took over and then we had more problems than just the letters,” she said, a sad look upon her face.

  “And you're sure there's nothing else you can think of? It could be anything, no matter how insignificant...”

  “I'm sorry, but no. I don't really like thinking about that time, you understand. The letters are the only thing. I know what you must be going through, trust me. I lived with that for too long, and I kept trying to get him to open up to me, but the thing with Alexander is he always thinks he has to face things alone. He can never let anyone else help him. I don't know what made him that way, but that's what ultimately drove him away from me. Now it seems like it's getting him in more trouble.”

  Ellen pursed her lips, then took a sip of water before she bid Stephanie farewell and left the woman to her book. Ellen walked to her car with much on her mind. Letters were a personal thing to send. So whoever was sending them to Alexander had a personal vendetta. Given how Alexander seemed to have changed at the same time as the letters began arriving, Ellen concluded that whatever this matter concerned it probably happened before he was with Stephanie. The letters must have brought back some terrible memory that caused him to lose his grip on his life.

  However, there was so little information about his life before his twenties that Ellen had no facts to rely on, and was going purely on instinct. She smiled for she and Andy had had many arguments regarding her speculative leaps of logic, but most of the time she was proven right as her instincts were her most valuable asset. This made sense. It made sense that something during his teenage years had come back to haunt him, something so powerful it caused him to lose focus on his relationship and become a recluse. Perhaps someone had been threatening him and that was why he was so scared. Maybe he thought nobody could protect him and he didn't want anyone else getting in harm's way.

  During her first conversation with Stephanie, Ellen had noted that while Alexander had told her of his childhood she didn't seem to know anything about his teen years. Alexander had shared stories with Ellen from his childhood, but not from his teen years. That is why Ellen thought what she did. Of course, the other possibility was that the letters were from another woman with whom Alexander was having an affair and the stress of hiding it had taken its toll on him and eventually fractured his relationship. Yet that didn't quite seem to fit with what she knew about Alexander, and it would be strange for a woman to get revenge after all these years. Passion was often the cause of crimes, but it was a flame that burned brightly. After all these years it most likely would have dimmed. No, this had to be something much deeper than a scorned woman.

  To try shedding some light on his past Ellen went to the library, greeting the librarian with a friendly smile. The librarian nodded toward her with a knowing look in her eyes, obviously aware that Ellen was working on another case. As Ellen walked past the fantasy section she laughed a little at herself for believing there had been a supernatural element to the case. Those kinds of things didn't exist in the real world. The only monsters that existed were the ones that humans made for themselves.

  She made her way to the section that held all the local hi
storical records. In the city she was sure this kind of thing would have been obsolete as there were far too many people to keep track of. However, in East Pender there were meticulous records of the high school graduates and newspapers from years gone by, and books written about notable events and people.

  There were many about the historical figures that had graced East Pender and helped shape its destiny. Although it was just a passing thought, she did wonder if, at some point, somebody would deem her a subject worthy of a book. After all, Andy practically was featured in his brother’s books, and now a movie, and she was not fortunate enough to have a famous author for a brother. So why shouldn't she join the ranks of the luminaries that rested on the shelves?

  She came to the yearbooks and did some quick math in her head to work out Alexander's graduation year. She ran her fingers across the blue and yellow spines as the dates receded into the past. If she had gone back far enough she would have found her own yearbook with the embarrassing picture and the awful hairdo, but that was better left in the past.

  She soon found the book she was looking for and pulled it out, flicking through it until she found the class pictures. It wasn't difficult to spot Alexander, who looked very similar to the way he did in the present day. A number of pictures showed the members of his class. Ellen recognized some of them as still living in East Pender, but most of them had moved on to pastures new. Of course, Ellen knew well that just because someone had left their hometown it didn't mean they never would return. She remembered her own high school years and how she couldn't wait to experience the world and see what the city had to offer. Yet now she was back at home and she was sure she was going to live out the rest of her years in East Pender.

  As she scanned the pictures she saw a group of three boys who often appeared together, and in more than one picture they were glowering at Alexander. Her brow furrowed as she started piecing together a theory of bullies who hadn’t stopped when high school was over and had returned to terrorize Alexander years after he thought he had escaped the trauma. It certainly would explain why he didn't want to talk about it to anyone, since it would bring back intense emotions. It also would explain why he shut himself away; he probably was scared. And now they had returned and were attacking his house.