"No, it's alright. I'll be there…promise." I assured her. "I've gotta go in now, but if you wanted to grab something to eat…"
"No thanks, I can't handle greasy food right now," Jenna said, looking a little green at my suggestion. "No offence or anything…"
I laughed. "I don't cook the food, so none taken. Thanks for the ride!"
"Thanks…for everything," Jenna smiled weakly.
I got out of her car and went to close the door.
"Wait!" Jenna said, hesitating slightly and looking even more embarrassed. "If you don't have anything to do that night of the party…I'll be free if you want to hang out."
"Yeah, that sounds…good," I said sincerely, smiling at her. She waved again and I closed the door. I stood in the parking lot for a couple of minutes and watched as she sped off.
I was working with Danielle again. She waved at me warmly when I walked inside. The entire diner was decorated for Halloween. I had to duck under a curtain of spider webs upon my arrival.
"Isn't it great!" Danielle squealed, excited. "I did most of it…Ryan helped! Halloween's my favourite time of year. Especially this year! Liam's first Halloween. He's going to be a penguin!"
"Cute!" I genuinely smiled at Danielle's enthusiasm, and the mental image of cute little Liam in a penguin costume. I tried to ignore the dull, hollow ache in my chest. Halloween used to be one of my favourite holidays too…but this year, it would be a difficult. Hard to believe it would be one whole year since Lauren had died.
"Okay, what's up, Princess of Darkness?" Danielle asked seriously, one hand on her hip.
"Nothing!" I quickly said, schooling my features. There was no way I was going to talk to Danielle about anything going on in my head right then.
She looked at me skeptically. "I don't believe that…if you change your mind and need to talk, you know where to find me."
"Thanks…" I said, a little awkwardly. I made my way into the back room to change into my uniform, completely thrown. Where had my ability to appear like a stone statue gone? Suddenly, people were reading me easily. Or maybe the difference was that people were starting to care about my moods.
It made me incredibly uncomfortable. What if they could read what was happening between Iain and I? So far, nobody had made any comments or given any looks. Then again, I was careful to avoid looking at Iain in class, or talking directly to him.
I went about my shift in a little bit of a distracted daze as I pondered this slight predicament. When I was halfway through restocking the condiments, Danielle nudged me from behind.
"Oooh, Harlow," she whispered. "Check it out! That hottie from before is sitting in your section again. Oh my God! I think he likes you!"
I glanced over, seeing Iain seated in the same table I had served him at after the first time he came to the diner. He smiled warmly at me, winking, when Danielle had turned her focus to me.
"Oh…"
"Oh what? Go serve him before I do," Danielle joked, tossing a menu at me. I rolled my eyes and approached Iain's table.
"What can I get for you tonight?" I asked, trying to hide my nervousness with an easy smile. I was ecstatic that he was there, but he hadn't been back to the diner since that one time…since before our relationship started. Aside from our classes together, we weren't seen out in public. I couldn't help but worry that Danielle was reading our body language, that'd she'd tell someone and someone would know that Iain taught at the Catholic high school and then our relationship would be out in the open. I pictured Iain behind bars, and frowned deeply. That was the last thing I wanted.
"The special, and maybe some of that famous cherry pie for dessert," Iain replied, not even bothering to look at the menu. He was looking at me like I was the dessert, which I'm sure was the intention. Then he leaned forward so that only I could hear. "This is for dropping your pencil in class today," he whispered, winking.
I blushed, thinking about how I had purposely dropped my pencil and reached forward to grab it, knowing that Iain would be able to have a full frontal view.
"Alright then. I'll get you the special and once you've finished with that, I'll bring you some cherry pie," I said, smirking. "Would you like a coffee while you wait?"
Iain nodded, pleased with himself for successfully bringing me out of my foul mood. I shook my head as I walked away from him, quickly grabbing a hot cup of coffee. I returned to his table, leaning forward a little more than necessary to put his hot beverage down in front of him.
"Enjoy," I said, smiling coyly. I bit my lip a little, knowing that he was staring at me and knowing exactly what I was doing to him. Then I stood up quickly and went to check on a couple other customers in my section and do my side work. I made sure to lean forward a few times while scrubbing the table in front of him vigorously, occasionally making eye contact with him and licking my lips. Two could play at that game. I was enthralled in our game that I forgot where we were.
"Wow, he's so into you," Danielle whispered, shocking me. I hadn't known she'd been paying attention to our display. I cursed myself, we hadn't been very discreet at all.
Despite the nervousness I was feeling at having Danielle pickup on our game, I gave a mischievous, uncaring smirk. "Poor soul."
"What do you mean?" Danielle asked, playfully shoving me. "He's hot, are you nuts lady?"
"I already have a boyfriend," I said, shrugging. I scowled in Iain's direction, and he suppressed a grin.
I ignored Iain for the rest of the time he was there, he frowned slightly as I handed him his receipt, sensing my mood was no longer playful. He looked down at the single word of "after" written on it and nodded as he read it. He grabbed his jacket, slipping into it and left the diner without looking at me again.
I wonder if I had offended him by my sudden mood change. Oh well, I sighed inwardly. I still had another hour left of my shift before I could explain myself.
* * * *
It was Danielle's night to lock up, so I left a little earlier. Daylight savings time meant that it was darker than dark out, and instead of feeling like 9, it actually felt more like 11 p.m. I shivered against the cold, late October chill, pulling my sweater hood up over my hair. I put my ear buds in, turning up my iPhone music to fairly loud. Despite not being able to hear anything but Five Finger Death Punch, I kept full attention to my surroundings, making sure that I was constantly aware of who was around me. My heart was pounding, it was so dark and of course my thoughts instantly imagined Andrew lurking in the corner, waiting to pounce out and attack. I inwardly laughed at myself. Don't live in fear, I scolded myself. I knew better than that. But still, it was hard to calm my nerves, especially because I had the sensation that someone was watching me.
I started thinking about Jenna again, and how she must be feeling. I mulled over the entire situation for what seemed like the thousandth time that week.
By the time I got to Iain's house, I still wasn't any more enlightened on Jenna's predicament, and I just wanted to forget about it all for a bit. Luckily, I was in the right place. Iain certainly was a great distraction.
"Hey," he greeted, stepping back to let me into the warmth of his foyer.
"Hey yourself," I said, frowning slightly as I remembered Danielle's intense line of questioning after he'd left.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothings wrong," I sighed, slipping out of my coat and hanging it on the hook. I dropped my bag by the door. "Danielle just…Danielle thought you were into me."
"I am into you," Iain growled sensationally, stepping toward me and embracing me. My heart felt as if it was jump starting.
"Well, isn't it dangerous for people to know that?" I asked, despite the betraying fluttering of my eyes as he kissed my neck. I hated swooning, but Iain constantly made me swoon. I pushed on his chest, trying to get him to take this conversation seriously.
Iain paused. I could feel his lips frowning against my neck. Then he sighed.
"You're right." He stepped back, running a hand through his tousled hair.
It was getting even longer. He still hadn't gotten it cut. I rather liked it that way.
"I don't want to get you in trouble," I almost whispered. I tentatively reached out a hand, touching the side of his face.
Iain nodded, his jaw clenching under my fingers. I assumed he was angry at me, so I took an unconscious step back.
"I'm not mad at you," Iain said, sighing. "I just…I'd love to make it known that you're mine. I'd love to take you out, show you off…"
"But we can't do that," I finished.
"Nope." Iain sighed again, deeper this time. He smiled, grabbing my hand, his blue eyes alight with an idea. "At least…not in this town…"
"What do you mean…not in this town?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. He took my hand and gently led me to the living room sofa. We sat down, his hand still clasping mine and his eyes still alight with excitement.
"I want to take you to Niagara Falls," he said sincerely, looking right into my eyes. "The weekend of November 15. We'll leave on the Friday and be back on Sunday."
"Why Niagara Falls?" I asked, a little surprised that he already had a place in mind.
"It's far enough away from here that we can go out in public and don't run the risk of people recognizing us. And it's...I don't know, touristy."
I nibbled my lip, thoughtful. It did sound extremely appealing. I'd never been to Niagara Falls, and I was a little tired of feeling like a mistress, although I wouldn't trade any time I got to spend with Iain. Even if we were holed up inside his house, eating Chinese take-out and watching terrible B-movies.
"Okay," I said, hesitating a bit as I thought about the entire weekend in shifts I would miss out on. Iain would more than make up for it.
"Great." Iain grinned, kissing me slowly and softly.
"Oh!" I said suddenly, breaking away from Iain slightly. "I told Jenna about your suggestion—adoption." Although I'd interrupted our make-out session to tell him this, Iain didn't look the least bit frustrated. He pulled away slightly, looking intrigued and concerned.
"What did she think about that?" he asked.
"Well…she's not sold on the idea yet. She doesn't understand why someone would want a…'rape baby,' as she called it."
"Ahh." Iain flinched, the same reaction I had.
"It's still early," I reminded him. "She's still processing the actual rape…so. I can understand her thought process. But I think she'll eventually warm up to the idea."
"That's good." Iain nodded. "Adoption agencies have counselors that can help process all that for perspective birth parents."
"Oh, that's good to know," I said, making a mental note to tell Jenna that. "And…I know we said we'd hang out on Halloween, and we will…but Jenna asked if I'd go over there first." I said this as I twisted my hair around in my fingers nervously. I wasn't really sure why I felt nervous. I guess I was worried about disappointing him.
Iain's fingers gently touched my chin, directing my face so that I was looking at him. "That's totally fine, sounds like Jenna could use a good friend like you."
"I wouldn't call myself a good friend," I countered. Iain rolled his eyes, kissing me gently on the nose.
"You're too harsh on yourself," he told me. I nodded, not really believing him. I personally didn't think I was harsh enough on myself. I still had a lot of self blame. My boyfriend had been the one to kill Lauren, and I hadn't even noticed he was high. I should have noticed, and I should have stopped it. What kind of friend doesn't notice something like that?
"Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong," Iain whispered, frowning at the look on my face. My eyes started to water, and I willed myself not to cry in front of him.
"Okay, change of subject," I demanded, leaning toward him and pressing my lips to his. I focused on the lust welling in my lower belly and ignored everything else. I teased his lips with my tongue, smiling at his increased breathing as my hand roamed the outside of his jeans. Smilingly seductively—all traces of my formal depressive mood gone—I crawled up on his lap and straddled him, kissing him deeply and intently. Iain's hand gripped the hair at the back of my neck as he kissed me back with the skilled expertise that always made me moan.
"One more thing," I muttered, almost out of breath. He looked at me, his eyes saying he'd give me anything. "Try to avoid my work if you can. I can only control myself so much…"
Iain laughed in my mouth, nodding as he unbuttoned my shirt. I immediately allowed myself to lose control.
Chapter Six
The next week, I endured the relentless chatter about Riley's upcoming Halloween party, and about how anybody who was anybody would be there. On Friday, people were even more loud about it. Jenna hadn't even bothered to show up. I figured she was tired of hearing about it too. I was feeling almost nauseated by it, and I hadn't gone through what Jenna had.
At the end of the day, I made a final trip to my locker to get all the books I'd need over the weekend. I had a math test on Monday that I needed to study for, and yet another English paper due. I smiled, thinking about Iain's homework assignment. Write about change. A time you changed, or something you want to change. His topic choice made me smile because there were so many options for me to write about, and I was rather excited about it. I loved writing for Iain now, mainly because he sang the highest phrase but also because I was always able to pour a little bit more of myself in my assignments, so he could get to learn about me a little more. My thoughts were interrupted when someone walked into me from behind.
"Oops, sorry," Callie sneered, not sounding sorry at all. She stopped at her locker, which just so happened to be five down from mine. Tara leaned against the locker beside Callie's, blocking Callie nearly completely from my view. Not that I minded. I quickly grabbed my math textbook and shoved it into my book bag, in a sudden hurry to get out of there.
"I can't believe how bitchy Jenna's being lately!" Tara was ranting. "After you forgave her for hooking up with Andrew!"
"I know," Callie said, shaking her head sadly. "She really can't see what good friends we've been."
"Who are you kidding? You guys are horrible friends," I spat, unable to contain myself. I slammed my locker, glaring at them both. "You're both bitchy, two-faced conceited assholes who back a rapist. But yeah, you're such good friends to Jenna."
Callie and Tara stared at me in open-mouthed shock, but I didn't bother giving them a chance to reply. I spun around on my heels and stomped off, eager to get the hell out of the school.
"I really need to get a car," I muttered, zipping up my coat and pulling my sweater over my head as the chilly air nipped at my exposed skin. I was supposed to be at work at 3, and I had less than ten minutes to get there. Thankfully, the walk from school was a short ten minutes. The cold, fresh air also worked to calm my nerves too. I regretted saying anything to Callie and Tara. For all they knew, the hook up was just a rumour that I had now pretty much confirmed, even if it wasn't a consensual thing.
No point in worrying about it now, I told myself ruefully.
* * * *
My shift was not helping my foul mood at all. For one, I wasn't working with Danielle. She had the evening off, so I was working with one of the middle-aged waitresses named Sally. While I generally enjoyed Danielle's company, Sally was a little harder to be around. She was a curvy woman in her mid-to-late forties who spent way too much time tanning. She also tried to dress and act younger than she was, she was extremely loud and her voice just grated on my nerves. She flirted relentlessly with anything with legs, and she told the grossest stories of her sexual encounters that nearly made me want to vomit. I tried to avoid talking to her at all costs, but sometimes it was unavoidable.
Since it was Friday night, the diner was packed full of families and couples out on dates. I was constantly running around, and my feet were on fire. At fifteen to nine, Sally leaned across the cash and turned on a ridiculous version of puppy dog eyes. "Mind if I take off early, sugar?"
I glanced around the diner; there were still five tables of customers
finishing up their meals. We were supposed to close in fifteen minutes, but I couldn't shut everything down until all the customers had paid and left. Doing it alone would take a lot longer than having Sally there to help tackle some of the closing duties.
"I have a hot date," she explained, as if that immediately meant she could leave early. I sighed in exasperation. I had two choices: stay a little later than I wanted to, or continue hearing all about Sally's hot date and the things she was planning on doing to him.
"Fine," I sighed. "Have a good one."
Sally grinned, bending over to grab her coat and purse. She was out the door before I could even say bye. Thankfully, the remaining customers ate quickly and paid by 9:15. I locked the door behind the last person to leave so that I could close my till.
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