The Golden Padawan

by Diane Lau

  A shudder went through me. Indeed, I could. Behind the familiar, beloved form which stood before me, I felt contained such a wealth of power that it very nearly terrified me. I could make no answer, nor did I need to.

  “Come to me now,” he said.

  I felt the strangest sensation then. It was like his hand passed through my chest and closed around my heart. It was gentle, but so firm and immovable that I held stock still for fear it would kill me. Then I forgot about my heart, for my entire soul was seized with such a hunger that permitted no other emotion, no other thought. A hunger to be with him.

  “Don’t let anything prevent it,” said Master Auri-Owan.

  I gathered all my strength, all my resolve, and I cast myself back into my terrible dream. The Dark Side wanted me to seek him, who knew why, perhaps to distract or tempt him, but surely to bring some evil upon him. He didn’t realize what I felt for him, what I was capable of wanting from him. If he knew, he would never ask…

  Another twinge of desperate longing seized me. Oh, to be by his side again, to fight with him, to learn from him, to spend my life augmenting his somehow, and letting him bring me to my full worth. Nothing sweeter, nothing richer…

  What was I to do?

  It came then, surprisingly gentle, destroying every obstruction in its path. “Obey me, Aeli.”

  I succumbed. And Brenan vanished.

  Bo was bumping against my back with his nose. Aeli, stop talking to the air. Nago awakes.

  Indeed, Master Nago was coming to consciousness. I rushed to kneel next to him. He blinked at me groggily and said, “Well, I don’t seem to be dead…should I take it that this is your doing?”

  “Bo helped, he’s a hero,” I said absently, “but are you all right?”

  “I have a headache. The herd?”

  “All here, some sleeping, but all fine.”

  “Then soon we’ll have dewbacks with headaches to deal with. What happened to the Raiders?”

  “One dead, another injured—so two of the three fled home with a warning from me.”

  Nago tried to sit up. “Bless you. You’re a wonder. And I’m a wonder for thinking to bring you here. Thank the gods we’ll be getting these animals out of danger soon. I imagine the whole planet has designs on them by now.”

  “Master, there’s something else…I know this is no time to tell you, but I must. I have to go back to Coruscant.”

  Nago grunted, rubbing his eyes, then looked at me. “Yes, I know. I got the dispatch from the Council while you were gone. Mace Windu wants you on the next transport.” He carefully rose to his feet. “Ow. Well, what a day this has been!”

  As Master Yoda taught us, some days are like that.

  It took Master Nago and I quite awhile to restore order among the dewbacks, and it was the small hours of the night before we were able to retire. I fell into my bed with my clothes still on, and for awhile slept the sleep of the dead. But only for awhile.

  I awoke suddenly, sensing warmth in the bed with me. I opened my eyes and in the dim light I saw Brenan’s face near mine. He spoke at once: “I know how difficult this is for you. But I also know you can be strong enough.”

  I was confused, uncertain, so I lay very still trying to determine if this were dream or vision, good or evil. I felt Brenan’s arm slide under the blanket, around my waist and up my back. He was wonderfully warm. Would it hurt to let him hold me, after such a long separation?

  He spoke again, in low and comforting tones. “You just need to prove to yourself you can resist it, Aeli.” His hand caressed the small of my back, a touch that I felt up and down my spine and then also in my loins. “I know you can resist it, you can be this close and not want me…”

  Oh but I did want him. I sought my Jedi discipline and found nothing. He leaned his face to me until his nose brushed mine, the softest touch, and I closed my eyes. “Fight it,” he said, and I felt his breath sweet upon my cheek. My chin raised involuntarily, my hand reached for his face and found the coarseness of his new beard, an amazingly lovely sensation.

  He kissed me. It was beyond bliss. His arm pulled me closer until I could feel the whole length of his warm, powerful body. His hand moved to my breast then and covered it possessively; I shuddered with pleasure. I was not strong enough, I was helpless. He had only just kissed me and already I ached with desire, already my body betrayed me by readying itself to be taken. I longed desperately to feel his weight on me, I wished for nothing but to open to him, to give myself over to his will.

  There was no Bo nearby to save me this time, but there was another. “This temptation will cease now,” echoed a voice which seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at once. The voice of Master Auri-Owan. Brenan vanished from my bed.

  “You see? You see?” I cried out to the voice, tears of shame springing in my eyes. “I can’t do this. It’s hopeless, Brenan. Forgive me.”

  “Leave this to me,” he said, and the authority in his tone drove fear and shame from me instantly. “There are forces that would keep you from me, but they will not win. If you weren’t strong they wouldn’t bother with you.”

  It was impossible not to believe him. “All right,” I said faintly.

  “Come as soon as you can. Let nothing prevent it,” he said firmly. Then his voice softened and he said, “Now sleep, there will be no more evil dreams to torment you. I promise.”

  In a certain way then he came to my bed, but it was not like the dream that came before. He was not there physically, but my sense of him was acute. I felt him guarding my mind, a completely silent presence, clear and strong like lucidity personified. With him watching, all confusion left me, and I felt utterly safe for the first time in weeks. I fell into an unbroken sleep until daybreak.

  * * *

  The next day a ride was arranged for me to Mos Eisley. I packed quickly and bid hasty goodbyes to the dewbacks, assuring them that we would see each other soon on Coruscant. I was sorry to leave Master Nago alone after our skirmish with the Tusken Raiders, but he had recruited temporary help from the neighboring farms and told me not to worry. “A directive from Mace Windu is not to be ignored,” he told me with a smile.

  Neither was a directive from Brenan Auri-Owan. If his command was not enough, then there was also the fact that the hunger to reach him still burned in my soul. At times I felt as light as air, anticipating our reunion; at other times I almost felt ill from the potency of the yearning. I marveled at his power to do this from such a distance. He had indeed become great under the guidance of Master Teg.

  I spent one night in Mos Eisley, at an inn whose host was a friend of Nago. As promised, my sleep was untroubled, and I rose before dawn to make the early transport to Coruscant.

  And so it happened that in three days I found myself back at the Jedi Temple. It truly seemed like a dream. I barely had time to change clothes before I was summoned to one of the lesser Council rooms.

  My heart pounded violently as I hurried to answer the summons. It was no small thing for a trainee to be called upon by Mace Windu, and though I knew this had something to do with Brenan, there was still enough mystery about it that I was very unsettled. There was actually a guard posted in the anteroom; he asked me to wait there, and these proved to be the most difficult minutes of all…

  …for I knew that Auri-Owan was within. My longing to see him was at fever pitch, although I couldn’t discern in the least how much of it sprang from the command under which he had put me, and how much was natural. Finally, bidden by some unheard instruction, the guard opened the door to permit my entrance and closed it behind me.

  The first person I saw was Master Yoda, which only increased my alarm. Master Windu motioned for me to come to the far end of the table, where the two sat. Brenan stood next to them. Here he was in the flesh, the beard was real, and if anything he looked younger and certainly stronger. There was a change in his bearing that could not be denied.

  He did not acknowledge me by word or action, but the hunger I had felt for three
days suddenly abated, leaving deep peace in its wake. The peace lasted only a moment however, for then my own joy kicked in and it was all I could do not to run and embrace him. I quickly got ahold of myself; this was a solemn occasion, perhaps the most solemn of my life to date.

  “Master Windu, Master Yoda, I come according to your summons,” I said. And added softly, “Master Auri-Owan, it is good to see you again.”

  Brenan nodded, and it was then that I felt how he was holding back his happiness. A smile threatened to break through his somber demeanor, but only I noticed it.

  Master Windu spoke. “Aelida Camil, we have called you to discuss a matter which may have tremendous ramifications for all of the Republic. We need to investigate certain claims which have been made by Master Auri-Owan, in which you are involved. Master Yoda and I will bear witness to what happens here today. We may ask you never to speak of it again.”

  “Yes, Master Windu,” I said.

  “Tell me, Aeli, do you have any knowledge of the Golden Pair?”

  So it had already come to this. “Yes, Master, I have read of it.”

  “The Three Dreams of Teg have you read?” asked Master Yoda.

  “Yes, Master, I have.” My eyes glanced over to Brenan, and I could perceive his surprise.

  Mace Windu pulled towards him a small box that was sitting on the table. “In the time since Teg wrote, there have been occasional claims to the title, and it has fallen to Master Yoda to judge their verity. Obviously up until now, none have passed the test. We do not doubt the sincerity and good faith of Master Auri-Owan, but Master Yoda was given the charge from Teg himself.”

  “The Three Dreams say not, but a key he wrote,” said Yoda. “Signs he gave that the Golden Pair would bear. This key to me he gave, long ago.”

  “And I am the second witness,” said Master Windu. “No one alive but us and Master Teg know the key, the signs of the Golden Pair. If you prove false, your memories of this meeting will be erased. Now, hear the key.”

  He opened the box and drew from it a scroll, which he carefully unrolled. “Brenan Auri-Owan, do you swear you have no prior knowledge of the key?”

  “By the Force I swear it,” Brenan answered.

  I felt nothing but calm confidence coming from him. I was confident too; there was almost no doubt in my mind that he was the Golden Knight.

  Master Windu read from the scroll: “‘I, Teg of Aleyra, here write the signs revealed to me in my dreams of the Golden Pair. The Golden Knight shall be known by this: He shall carry on his body the marks of four golden suns.’”

  The ring! But I had the ring, it wasn’t fair! He should never have given it to me… I opened my mouth to speak, but in my head I heard him clearly: Hush. I quieted myself and waited.

  And as I waited, Brenan undid his upper garments enough to peel back the fabric over his chest. There, on the ivory skin over his heart, was a column of four small suns, rendered somehow in his flesh in gold.

  Master Windu looked astonished, but Yoda gave a slight smile and nodded. Of course he had known for years, being Brenan’s master—he had known, but never breathed a word to anyone including his Padawan. Brenan calmly explained, “The sun is the mark of my house. I am the fourth Auri-Owan to be a Jedi, so I bear four suns. I have had these since I was chosen in childhood. But I never knew they held any other meaning.”

  Mace Windu recovered himself enough to turn then to me. “Aelida Camil, do you swear you have no prior knowledge of the key?”

  “By the Force I swear it,” I replied weakly. I was truly undone, by the simple fact that an ancient prophesy was being fulfilled in my dear friend. I couldn’t keep from trembling.

  Master Windu read again from the scroll: “‘And the Golden Padawan shall be known by this: He shall likewise carry over his heart these four golden suns, come to him as a gift.’”

  He raised his eyes to look at me. Master Yoda, too, waited expectantly. Then I looked at Brenan. He radiated some amused astonishment—he had clearly never suspected the significance of the act of giving me his ring. Our destiny, he said in my head, and allowed himself to smile.

  I reached inside my tunic and grasped the chain. I pulled it out so the ring fell upon my chest. I moved closer to Master Windu, and he took up the ring and examined it. He turned to Yoda, who got to his feet and came to see it too.

  Master Yoda paused a long moment, sighed, and then said to Mace Windu, “The Golden Pair they are. Of this truth, witness we bear.”

  Brenan took a step closer and spoke in a firm, authoritative voice, “Then I renew my request to take this Jedi as my Padawan.”

  I cannot deny how I rejoiced to hear these words. I didn’t understand, it all seemed impossible according to any means I used to judge reality, but it was all I had ever wanted, perhaps since I had been born.

  Master Windu stood as well. “As you choose, Master Auri-Owan.”

  “As you choose,” agreed Yoda solemnly.

  “The pledging shall be tomorrow then,” said Windu, “At high noon in the Great Hall. It will be published immediately. Until then, prepare yourselves well. What you are about to undertake, you have every right to fear. Nevertheless, the Force is with you both, and in abundance. It is a happy day for the Jedi.”

  “A long wait have I known,” said Yoda, nodding agreement, and I thought I saw a sparkle in his eyes.

  “But do not speak, now or ever, to anyone of the Golden Pair. That is for your own safety. Now we will leave you two…you may have the room and the guard as long as you need to. I expect the Padawan-Elect has many questions, and there is no one better to answer them than you, Brenan Auri-Owan.”

  The two Masters left us, taking Teg’s box with them and shutting the door behind them.

  “Soon-to-be Padawan,” said Brenan, “if you wished to embrace me, I see no reason to wait longer.”

  I went to him and his arms came around me. He smelled the same. I buried my head in his neck, and clung to him as if any hearty breeze that came along might blow him away from me.

  “So,” I said, raising my face to look at his, “it will be awhile before we are separated for so long again.”

  “Quite awhile, I should think.”

  “The only reason I’m sure this is right is because you believe it.”

  “And why do you have such strong doubts?”

  “You were in my head on Tatooine, I think you know.”

  He pulled back, but kept a good grip on my shoulders in his two hands. “The lust was not your doing. As for the desire, you will have to learn to live with that. It is part of the Golden Padawan’s Gift, after all.”

  “That’s part of the Gift?”

  “So Master Teg told me.”

  “What else did Master Teg tell you?”

  Brenan drew out two chairs for us and motioned for me to sit. We sat knee to knee, leaning towards each other, and at once I was so engaged that the rest of the room seemed to withdraw.

  Brenan began, “As the book says, he cursed me, long ago in my youth. Master Teg blinded my mind, blocked my powers. That was why I couldn’t levitate, why I had no telepathy or mind power to speak of before I met you. He watched me all the time, watched both of us. When I met you it was time for him to stop…to lift the curse, as it were.”

  “How ironic that you planned to study under him anyway.”

  “But you see, that was no coincidence. As you learned, Teg and Yoda have been friends for many of our lifetimes. To think that all this time my Master knew that I would be the Golden Knight…now I see this is why he chose me as his Padawan. But he couldn’t interfere, he could say nothing until all the pieces fell into place. And so he sent me then to Teg—and indeed I needed to work with him. My power was great once it was freed…it was no time for me to be without guidance. We worked very hard together—once again, nothing ever comes easy, even with the Force.” I saw him exhibit a bit of his patented sparkle at this, and it warmed my heart.

  “How long ago did you learn about the Golden P
air?”

  “I don’t even remember. Years ago. I never thought about it until the strange things started happening between us. Something reminded me about the curse put on the Golden Knight, and the possibility occurred to me. If we were the Golden Pair, it certainly explained the bond we both felt from the outset.”

  “So when you spoke to Teg of it, did he explain right away?”

  “No…I think he feared I would take off immediately to find you if he did, so he refused to answer my suspicions. He worked and tested me. ‘Golden Knight, if you be he,’ he would say, mocking me, ‘how do you intend to save the galaxy when you cannot hold back the flow of this tiny river?’”

  I laughed into my hand. I could not be as bold about it as I once had; even when mocking himself, Master Brenan somehow commanded authority.

  But he smiled at me and went on. “I think he was wise, since it has only been four days since I knew for sure, and here we are.”

  “Four days?” I leaned forward in astonishment.

  “The Force wanted us together. Do you think you were the only one it compelled?”

  “I thought you were compelling me.”

  “Only with the power from the Force.”

  “I’m sorry I fought you…”

  “Don’t apologize. It will be a hard burden for you, the emotions you feel for me. Master Teg spoke much of this to me. He told me to tell you not to fear your passion, it’s there for a reason. In the fullness of time you will understand.”

  “And the dreams…?”

  “The dreams happened to make you fear being with me. There are those who would do anything to keep us apart, to prevent what you and I will do.”

  “Why didn’t they just…kill us?”

  “Because they don’t know who we are, or where we are. This is why no one must know we are the Golden Pair. They see us dimly, by the power of the Dark Side. They can reach our minds but for now that is their only weapon. All the detail of your dream was unclear to them…so if you uttered my name, or heard yours, it was all within your own imagination. All the evil ones knew was that because you are the Golden Padawan, your passion for me is your weakness as well as your gift. So they used lust to deceive you.”