Heart Wish

by Mary Crawford

  “Answers are scary, but so is the unknown. There is a chance — even if it’s only remote — that there could be a positive resolution to this case. We can’t afford to let fear persuade us to give up.”

  Jameson’s Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he swallows hard. “Okay, I’ll need to run this by my parents first. It’s not just my decision. I don’t know if they’re going to be willing to revisit that hellish time again.”

  “Let me know if you want me to explain what we do here. I’d be glad to.”

  Jameson stands up and heads over to the bank of computers. “You know, that might not be such a bad idea. But, before we can do that, we need to get you up and running.”

  An inexplicable urge washes over me. I stand up and walk behind him. I place my arms around his waist and rest my cheek on his back. I embrace him lightly. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you and your family. No one should have to endure an ounce of pain more than necessary from having a missing child. It is my job to block as much of that as possible — even for big tough military men.”

  CHAPTER 6

  JAMESON

  hotel room as I scan through my nightly ritual of bookmarked sites on my laptop. I lied when I told Kendall that I had given up the search for Toby. I’ll likely look for him until the day I die. Every night, I visit an ever-growing list of sites dedicated to finding missing children. Some of them are aimed at what I’m specifically looking for; others are just wild chases, like sites featuring foster children and runaway teens. Even scarier, are the other sites I visit on the dark web pretending to be a person looking for a teen matching the description of my little brother. Those searches drain me of all my hope and humanity. Some days, I can summon the grit to go there — today is not one of those days.

  I glance up at the clock. It’s far too late to call my parents tonight. I can’t help but wonder how they will react to my proposal. If they are true to form, they’ll have very different responses. My mom has dealt with her pain by trying to forget anything ever happened. It’s not that she’s trying to be cruel, it’s just that she can’t handle the heartbreak. At first, my father wanted me to call in legions of soldiers to search for Toby and take care of his abductors by any means possible. As the months and years passed, even my dad became resigned to the fact that Toby is probably never going to return home. It’s been painful to watch my parents turn into fragile shells of the people they once were. My parents were vibrant educators who loved their town, were actively involved in school life, community affairs, and dedicated to their church. Now, my mother barely leaves her bed and my father rants at the television or hides out in his wood shop.

  Even though Kendall has graciously agreed to go with me on my visit home, I am reticent to show her this side of my life. It is so different from the family I grew up in. I’m struggling to come up with words to explain the difference. I don’t want her to get the wrong impression of the type of people my parents are — or at least who they were at the time of Toby’s disappearance.

  I involuntarily let out an expletive as my cell phone vibrates in my pocket. When I remove it, I recognize it as Kendall’s number. I pick it up with a tired sigh. I hope this isn’t a second cyber-attack. “’Lo,” I bark abruptly.

  After a long pause, Kendall says, “Maybe I shouldn’t have called — but I’m worried about you. Sharing your story takes an emotional toll. I figured I’d check in to see if there is anything I can do for you.”

  “I don’t think so. It just is what it is. I’ve been dealing with all this crap on my own for a long time. To be honest, I’m not sure what having outside help is going to do for us now. I read the statistics. I know the first few hours of a case are critically important. I am aware how unlikely it will be for us to generate leads after all this time. I’m debating whether we should even involve my parents in this. Why should we open them up to a whole new round of heartbreak?”

  “That’s a question I can’t answer for you because I don’t know your family. There are cases out there where kids are found decades later. All we can do is present the offer of help. It’s your family, and you guys will have to make the decision together. I won’t be intrusive. I’ll just present the facts as I know them and offer the help of Locate My Heart.”

  “Can you promise my family that there won’t be any charge for this service? They got burned badly the last time. I don’t want them to be taken advantage of again.”

  “I don’t either. That’s exactly what I’m trying to prevent in this situation. No one deserves to be treated like that; whether your kid is missing for just a few hours or a couple of decades. You shouldn’t have to run a gauntlet course of scam artists.”

  I let out a deep breath. “At least we agree on something. Let me sleep on it tonight and try to decide what to do. I’ll call you tomorrow to see how the computer systems are working and let you know what my decision is about my parents. Then we can develop a plan of attack.”

  “Jameson, in case nobody has said this to you, thank you for rescuing Locate My Heart. Without your help, we might have gone dark for a while. I’ve been working on the grant, and I can’t believe how much smoother things are going. So, thanks again. You’re a real lifesaver.”

  I have to clear my throat a couple of times before I can answer. “Thank you for saying that. It’s been a while since I’ve felt very heroic. Maybe we’ve got a few more miracles up our sleeves.”

  “It’s hope like that that keeps me coming to work every single day,” Kendall responds. “Sleep well, Jameson. Tomorrow is a new day with new hopes.”

  “You too,” I respond reflexively as I close my laptop. “Something tells me that for the first time in I can’t remember when, I might dream of something beautiful and pleasant for a change.”

  Before I call Kendall back, I check in with Tristan.

  “Things look pretty good on this end. Fortunately, despite their lack of technology, Kendall Kordes was as on top of things as she could be.”

  “That’s good to hear. I understand you got to play ‘fairy- godfather’. That must’ve been fun,” Tristan remarks.

  “It was harder than you might imagine. Kendall didn’t get as excited over free stuff as I expected she might be.”

  Tristan laughs out loud. “Oh, I completely understand Kendall’s reluctance. Colette is wary about new technology. She’s even more skeptical about people who give her things for free. Put those two together, and this job could’ve blown up in our face.”

  “So, is Kendall going to face any negative repercussions over her executive decision?”

  “I don’t think so. Once I explained the terms of our contract, which Colette signed, and outlined the danger of using her current equipment, she readily came on board. Of course, I have thrown in a few personalized computer lessons on the new stuff to sweeten the deal. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “It’s funny you should mention that. I was just going ask you if you care if I stuck around here a little while longer. I have a side project I need to work on with Kendall. She agreed to help me with a project I’ve been working on for several years.”

  “You mean the disappearance of your brother? I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to ask for help with that. You know I search for people, right? It’s a core value of my business.”

  I rub the back of my neck. Crap! Tyler was right. “I knew sir. I just didn’t want to be presumptuous. I tried to learn from your methods though. I’ve been searching privately after hours on my own. Unfortunately, I haven’t come up with much.”

  “I gather that after taking the measure of Kendall and Colette, you’ve decided that Locate My Heart is worthy of your trust?” Tristan asks me pointedly.

  “You may be my boss, but you’re a sneaky son of a —”

  “Uh-huh,” Tristan confirms. “Figured you’d sorted that out by now.”

  “There wasn’t anything on this job Kinsey couldn’t have handled. So, you sent me here to ensure that I’d have to work with Ken
dall? How long have you known about my little brother?”

  “Here at Identity Bank, we are known for our rather thorough employment background checks. It’s a precursor for working here. It didn’t take too much digging to find that out — none at all, actually. It’s all pretty much public record.”

  “In all these years, you never said anything to me? What’s up with that?” I demand, feeling irritated that my boss has known my secrets for years and never said anything.

  “It’s not like I didn’t give you an opportunity to tell me. I just figured that eventually you would feel comfortable enough working at Identity Bank that you would open up and ask for help.”

  “So ... you tried to force my hand by sending me to Oregon?”

  “Not exactly — but Colette and Kendall are phenomenally great people. They do good work. Although I don’t know where the case stands with your brother. Since you haven’t shared any great news with us at Identity Bank, I figured there haven’t been any positive developments lately. If pairing you up on a cyber-hacking was enough to get the ball rolling for you, I make no apologies.”

  “What if this whole search doesn’t turn out to have a positive outcome? Then what will I do? I have to live the rest of my life without Toby and help my parents survive.”

  “With your background, I know that you know better than to prejudge the outcome of a case,” Tristan cautions.

  “Yeah, I do. I also know the statistics like the back of my hand. The chances of finding my brother are next to none. I know that, but I can’t bring myself to break the news to my family. They are teetering on the edge of existence as it is. If the news is bad, it would literally kill them. At least if Toby is still missing, there is some hope. I’ve tried everything I know how to do and I haven’t been able to find Toby.”

  “Not to sound boastful; but, you haven’t tried everything. The resources of Identity Bank are deep and varied. Combined with the PR capabilities of Locate My Heart, we could breathe new life into this search. All you have to do is say the word, and every resource I have available is yours. I found my sister, but unfortunately, by the time I did, it was too late. I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.”

  “If time was so important to you, why didn’t you make me do something earlier?”

  “I’ve worked with enough families over the years to know that imposing a search on someone who isn’t ready is rarely helpful. We need a family’s full cooperation before we can help. As you know, the whole thing is intrusive and painful. Unless a family is ready to take the brunt of that, I don’t impose.”

  “Well, at least you’re honest about what’s involved. It’s brutal beyond belief. I don’t know if my parents are strong enough to handle it again.”

  “Having never met your parents, I don’t know if they can handle it. I will tell you that finding my sister and Elliot gave my mom a whole new purpose. Sometimes resolution, even if it’s painful, is required to make progress.”

  “I understand what you’re saying. But I don’t know if the chances of finding Toby are high enough to justify putting my parents through all that again,” I argue.

  “It won’t be the same this time. Your parents have you here to protect them and the resources of Identity Bank and Locate My Heart at their disposal. We can frame this search in an entirely different way and protect them from the type of backlash they received before.”

  “I appreciate your offer. I’ll keep it in mind. It’s not that I’m ungrateful — I just don’t know where they stand on all this. It’s truly not my decision to make. Although my parents are suffering, they still are the ones who are going to have to make the final call.”

  “Understood. Just let me know what our parameters are, and we’ll work within them. Good work on getting Locate My Heart up and running so quickly.”

  “Thanks, boss. Now I’ve got to go check and make sure everything is still operational and on target.”

  “Good luck with that. By the way, Kendall drinks tea, not coffee.”

  “You’re downright spooky — you know that? How did you know I was headed over to her office instead of making a call?”

  “Simple. If I were in your shoes, I’d want to see her body language. Good luck today, Payne. I’m happy things are working out.”

  A student I recognize from the background information Tristan gave me opens the door to Locate My Heart with wide-eyed astonishment as I warn, “Watch out, coming through with hot stuff here.”

  I don’t even stop at Kendall’s desk as I walk back to the little conference room where they meet with family members. I deposit large trays of hot drinks and a couple bags of baked goods in the middle of the table. When I turn around, the entire staff is crowded into the doorway trying to watch me. I shrug as I explain. “You guys work hard. I figured you could use a treat. I didn’t know how everybody takes their drinks, or what they like to eat — so I brought a bunch.”

  Kendall sags a bit against the door frame as she says, “It’s too bad you work for us — because I’d like to give you a big ole’ kiss right now. You have no idea how much I need a pick me up today.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Everything going okay with the new systems?”

  “Oh... Yeah, the computers are running just fine. This is operator error — or more precisely, operator fatigue. I’m trying to make up for several days work.”

  Bringing my head close to hers as I murmur in her ear, “How is the grant going?”

  Kendall examines the hot cups of coffee and tea for a moment. “Just a moment,” Kendall says as she gently lifts the cups out of the cup holder. “I’m still trying to process the fact that you got me two different kinds of tea. I’m the only person here who drinks it. How did you even know that?” she asks as she picks up both cups.

  “Just observant I guess. Unfortunately, my skills of observation couldn’t tell me whether you like green tea or regular. I decided not to gamble and just got you both. There’s fancy stuff to put in it... if you’re into that kind of thing and a bunch of scones, bagels, Danishes and all that jazz. Knock yourself out,” I ramble like a nervous preacher.

  “That was incredibly generous of you. The grant went just fine, thanks to you. I had until nine o’clock this morning to turn it in, and I hit the send button at eight forty-five.”

  I grab myself a donut and a cup of black coffee and sit across the table from her. “Well, I guess that means my work here is done. Your equipment and files are in working order, and you got all the data you needed for your grant.”

  Kendall shoots me a puzzled look as she says, “You’re leaving? Just like that — like, don’t let the door hit me on the butt on the way out?”

  I grin and wink. “Nope. I’m not going anywhere. No one’s paying me for this job. So, I’m just angling for that kiss you promised.”

  Kendall chokes on her tea as she lets out a startled burst of laughter. “Umm ... o-kay. That’s a leap of logic.”

  “Not so much. I’m just saying that the job is pretty much finished. So, if the only reason you’re not kissing me is because I work for you, that argument doesn’t hold much water anymore,” I tease.

  The intern who opened the door for me earlier gives me the once over as she looks at Kendall. “I don’t know if I’d be turning down that offer if I were you, boss.”

  Kendall shoots her a look of astonishment. “Nice, Brynley. Way to make things even more awkward.”

  Brynley holds up her hands in a pose of innocence as she says, “You were the one who brought up kissing. I was just telling you I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea. I mean, Mr. Payne here doesn’t do anything for me. I’m not into older guys but, you guys are probably about the same age, so whatever.”

  For a moment, I’m tempted to just laugh the whole situation off, but I notice Colette observing me carefully from the corner of the room.

  I take off my baseball cap and roll my shoulder before setting my hat in my lap. I should probably just learn to keep a lid on my impulsive
nature. It’s unfortunate I didn’t think about that before Kendall made her offhand comment. Who knows what’s going through Kendall’s supervisor’s mind at this point? Sometimes I’m such a jerk, even when I’m trying to be nice. Nervously, I smile at Colette as I try to disguise my discomfort at being caught being unprofessional.

  To my surprise, Colette shoots me a sly smile. “Come now, everyone grab your food and let’s go. If I’m not mistaken, Jameson and Kendall have some pressing matters they need to discuss this morning.”

  Brynley snorts. “I just bet they have ‘pressing matters’ to discuss.”

  Kendall looks as if she’d like to disappear under her seat. So, I address Brynley. “All teasing aside, I do have some important matters to go over with Ms. Kordes this morning.”

  “Whatever you say,” Brynley answers as she rolls her eyes. “You guys act like my college roommates when they’re trying to get rid of me. I know when I’m not wanted.”

  Colette walks over and puts her arm around Brynley’s shoulders as she moves her out of the room. “The way Kendall has held us all together during this dreadful incident, I don’t have any doubts about her ability to make smart decisions, personally or professionally. Since this isn’t any of our business, let’s go back to work, shall we?”

  Brynley turns and looks over her shoulder at Kendall. “When the time comes, remember that my cousin does fabulous videography work at weddings. Tell him Bryn sent you.”

  Kendall relaxes and chuckles. “Okay, I’ll remember. But really, we’re just going to talk. I have no nuptial plans today or in the near future.”

  Brynley breaks away from Colette and walks over to give Kendall a brief hug. “I’m sorry if I made things weird. I’d just like to see you not be so sad. If it takes a hunk like this to make it happen, I’m rooting for you.”