Heart Wish

by Mary Crawford

  “Seems like a solid plan to me,” I remark. I’m not sure what Tristan wants me to say, but it makes sense.

  “I don’t think you’re quite getting my drift here, Payne.”

  “What do you mean, sir?” I ask reflexively.

  “I’m asking you if you’d like to be in charge of the operation,” Tristan answers with a grin.

  “Sir? I’m the just computer guy. You want me to be in charge of opening a whole new branch of Identity Bank?”

  “You do realize that I actually read the background information about the people I hire to protect people’s identity, right?”

  Feeling foolish, I murmur, “Yes, sir.”

  “I may not have served in the military, but people around me have. Your job involved a lot more than just a few virus checks and computer programming skills. Without exception, all of your reference letters praised your ability to organize big projects and be a team leader. They told me what I already know about you which is you are a stickler for details, and not much escapes your notice. You are exactly the kind of person I look for when I start a new venture. I think you’re perfect for the job.”

  “Thanks, it’s a lot to take in right now — things are up in the air on every front here.”

  “It appears you’re going to be in Oregon for a while. Why don’t you find a place to rent? It seems like it would be far more comfortable than staying in a hotel. I’d rather pay for you to be in a place which suits you. Do you still have the AutoCAD software on your computer?”

  “I do,” I answer as I take a mental catalog of the software on my computer.

  “If you decide you want to lead this project, let me know. We can have a video session dedicated just to the planning. There are a lot of pieces of the puzzle we need to put together to make this work.”

  “I know, I need to figure this out. Is Joe Summers good to stay in my place for a while longer?”

  “Yeah, it is close to his son’s school, so it works out great.”

  “I wonder if he’d be willing to take over my lease. I just signed one before I came out to Oregon. I can take the hit if I need to for breaking the lease, but if he likes it, maybe we can work something out.”

  “By the way, I think Scout may have adopted Joe’s son. Scout seems to calm Brody down.”

  “Yeah, if I would have had the time, I was going to run Scout through Mitch’s therapy dog program. If you have a chance, tell Mitch thanks for kenneling Scout until Joe could move into my place. As much as I love him, I always felt awful when I was on the road and had to leave him behind. Maybe it’s a good thing he has bonded with a real family.”

  “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like you’ve made your decision,” Tristan ventures.

  “Look, I’ll be honest with you. If you would’ve asked me the day before yesterday, I would’ve been all over it. It seemed like I had a great girlfriend and I love being able to pop in and see my parents to make sure that they’re okay. I don’t know what happened in the last couple of days, but it seems like maybe things aren’t going to work out between Kendall and me. She has cut off all contact, and I don’t know why.”

  “Did you go badmouthing Locate My Heart again? You know that place is her passion. She has big dreams for ways that she can make Locate My Heart more efficient. A person like you could really help her make those dreams come true.”

  “I know that. I’ve been working with her about how to streamline her process using the new equipment and software that you and Aidan were able to provide.”

  “Don’t underestimate Kendall. She’s crazy smart and learns very quickly.”

  “I know that! I know I was a jerk in the beginning, but I’ve learned more about who she is and why she does what she does. It all makes more sense to me now. Or, at least it was making more sense until she pulled the rug out from under me. She’s not even returning text messages. It’s like she disappeared into a black hole.”

  “That’s weird. It seems very out of character for her. Did she give you a heads up?”

  “All I got from her was a voicemail telling me that she couldn’t be around me or talk to me until she talked to Tyler. Tyler swears up and down he doesn’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what to think. You know I have a horrific past with places like this. I had to help my parents file bankruptcy because of what unscrupulous search agencies, psychics and private eyes that were anything but private did to them. My tolerance for this kind of crap is really low. I hope she’s not pulling something on me. I really like her. I was starting to see white picket fences in our future.”

  “I wouldn’t write that dream off yet. I’ve worked with Kendall before. What you see with her is what you get. Probably more than anyone else — except Mindy, Kendall wears her emotions on her sleeve and all over her face. I have never known her to be anything but straightforward. If she says she needs to talk to Tyler before she can be with you, there must be a solid reason.”

  “I wish Kendall would tell me what is going on,” I grouse.

  “Maybe she can’t. I think you need to wait this one out. Don’t do anything rash — and that includes taking the promotion with me. Wait to see how this plays out. Spend some time with your family while you’re in Oregon and take a real vacation.”

  “You don’t have to keep bringing us food; I’m still capable of cooking,” my mom insists as I come through the door with a large lasagna pan and a bowl of salad.

  I stop to kiss her cheek before I put everything on the kitchen table. “I know Mom. I was pet-sitting for a friend of mine, and he has a kitchen that would make an award-winning restaurant jealous. I just couldn’t resist whipping up a couple batches of lasagna just to try out his stuff. There is no way I can keep this in my little refrigerator at the hotel room. So, I brought it to you guys.”

  “How long are you going to stay at that place? It’s just not right to have you living out of a hotel. I thought your job here was short-term. Are there more problems at Locate My Heart?”

  “No, not computer problems. Tristan had me stick around. He was hoping I would take some time off, but I’m too antsy to take a long vacation — so I started working on a project for Silent Beats.”

  “You’re going to think I’m silly, but could you get Tasha and Jude’s autograph for me? They just seem like the sweetest couple. Are they anything like they are on television?”

  “I think you’d really like them. Jude is shy, and he’s really respectful. He loves Tasha like the air he breathes.”

  My mom clutches her hands in front of her heart. “Oh, you can’t know how relieved I am to hear that. Sometimes you read that a celebrity is one way on stage; but when they’re off-stage, they’re the complete opposite. I didn’t want that to be true about Tasha and Jude.”

  “You can put your mind at rest, Mom. Everyone that works with Aidan has been incredibly nice. Just like you would hope.”

  “I saw Aidan once. Your dad took me out for dinner for Valentine’s Day, and we went to this little out-of-the-way bar. Aidan was there with Tara and he was serenading her for their anniversary. It was the sweetest thing.”

  “Please tell me you didn’t bug them for pictures,” I reply.

  “Oh heavens no. I wouldn’t interrupt a beautiful moment like that for pictures. They deserved to celebrate their anniversary just like everyone else. It was still neat to see though.”

  “I’ve had a chance to hang out with Aidan and Tara quite a bit now. They are the most normal stars I’ve ever seen in my life. Everyone around them is exceptionally friendly.”

  My mom’s eyes light up. “Does that mean you’ve made friends here and you might actually stay this time?”

  “Would that be something you and Dad would like?” I ask, choosing my words carefully.

  “Of course, we would. Having both of you boys gone breaks my heart every day. I would love to have you back here.”

  “I’m looking at some options, I’ll see what I can do, Mom. I miss you too.”

&
nbsp; “I don’t want to pry, but is this about your relationship with Kendall? You know, there’s an awful lot to like about that girl. I don’t think I could’ve done better if I had handpicked a match for you.”

  “Really? Some days, it feels like all we ever do is butt heads.”

  “That’s good. It shows you both care about a lot of things and developed your own opinions. That’s not a bad thing. It’s not if you fight, but how you fight and how you leave it between the two of you.”

  “Mom, Kendall won’t even talk to me or answer my texts.”

  “Did she tell you what’s going on?”

  “She said she couldn’t have any contact with me until she talks to our friend Tyler.”

  “Well, Kendall seems pretty level-headed to me. If she says there was a reason she can’t be in touch, I would take her at her word.”

  “I just wish she would figure this all out. I miss her like crazy.”

  “When you were a baby, I used to tell people you were born inpatient. I see not much has changed. Give Kendall some time to sort out what’s going on. If she’s worth hanging onto, she’ll be back,” my mom advises as she gives me a warm hug.

  CHAPTER 15

  KENDALL

  TYLER BRINGS ME A STYROFOAM cup filled with tea and sets it down on the table in the interrogation room. After he takes a seat, he crosses his foot on top of his other knee and balances a yellow legal pad on it. “I have to be honest with you; I thought we’d meet and have coffee at the shop down the street. I was surprised when you said you wanted to hold the meeting in my office. Does this mean our conversation is professional rather than personal?”

  “I don’t know. It’s a complicated question. Jameson and my professional lives and personal lives have been irrevocably intertwined since the first moment we met. I don’t know how to separate them anymore. I thought I could keep my private life private and confine my work with Locate My Heart to business hours only, but that’s not the way it’s turning out,” I admit in a tearful voice.

  Tyler leans forward and hands me a tissue from the box on the table. “First, I need you to breathe. Whatever it is, we’ll sort through it.”

  “I don’t know what to think. This could be good news, or it could destroy everything between Jameson and me. Even so, I have to share it. I can’t keep it to myself even though I know it could destroy every bit of happiness in my life right now.”

  “It sounds like there’s an important story here. Let’s start at the beginning. What brings you in today?”

  “Jameson said he told you about Toby. Is that correct?”

  “Jameson mentioned it to me. He was concerned about getting his parent’s hopes up again because the last search was so disastrous for them.”

  “See? That’s exactly what I mean. I wonder whether I pushed him into searching for his brother because I wanted to show him that our services at Locate My Heart are not the same as the flim-flam artists he worked with before. What if I backed him into a corner?”

  “And what if you didn’t?” Ty presses.

  I take a few deep breaths as I try to calm down enough to tell him the whole story. “Actually, that’s why I’m here today. There’s a potential new lead in Toby’s case. But, for me it’s complicated. I’m not sure how to proceed.”

  “I’m sorry, Kendall, you need to tell me more details than that.”

  “Ty, I’m so embarrassed. I knew better than to get involved with a client or even a potential client. I knew Jameson is in a vulnerable place and sharing things with me he doesn’t ever share with anyone. I feel like I’m taking advantage of our relationship. I don’t know how to back out of it. Now, this new complication has cropped up.”

  “Do you want to call if off with Jameson?” Ty asks me pointedly.

  “No! I don’t. I fell for Jameson hook line and sinker, and I never expected it. I haven’t been involved with anyone since Quinn died. I don’t even know how to process all of this.”

  “Process all of what?”

  “If I’m honest with myself, there hasn’t been a time in our relationship where we haven’t had some tension. As long as I am in this line of work, Jameson is going to feel uneasy about what I do. He’s been burned too many times in the past. He’s trying to protect his parents. I understand that. I’m not even questioning the way he feels about what I do.”

  “Still, it makes it tough,” Tyler remarks.

  “If I were in his shoes, I’d feel the same way. I know how betrayal feels. After Quinn died, I joined a grief support group. I thought everything I shared in that group was private and confidential. Later, I ran across something that I’d written about Quinn’s death posted on an Internet site without my permission.”

  “That’s terrible. Anybody who’s in a group like that expects that their thoughts will be private. I know I did when I was dealing with my post-traumatic stress disorder.”

  “You don’t just get over it. So, I’m worried about whether we can ever have a good relationship if he always views me as the thing that reminds him of the worst time in his life.”

  “This is just a bump in the road. Y’all can fix this. But, this isn’t a new issue between the two of you. What brings you in today?”

  I bury my face in my hands for a moment. “You may change your mind about complications when I tell you my brother might actually know a lot more about it than any of us do. He apparently knows Toby from hanging out on the Internet. I guess they used to frequent lots of the same gaming sites.”

  Tyler whistles softly between his teeth. “That might be the biggest break this case has ever had.”

  “I know! What do I do about it? I don’t want to be the focus of this — but I also don’t want to have to break up with Jameson just because of my brother’s online friends.”

  “That’s understandable. You had no way of knowing Toby’s life would somehow intersect with your brother’s.”

  “But I don’t want to taint this investigation. I had no idea that this case would involve my own family members.”

  “Kendall, you have solid instincts. You were right to keep your distance from Jameson until we get this all sorted out. I know it is less than ideal, but you’re right. The investigation into Toby’s disappearance should come first.”

  “I may be worrying for nothing. I love my brother, but he kind of floats through life. I don’t even know what details he focuses on and which ones he ignores. He has a different sensibility about things than most people.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what you know and we can go from there?” Tyler says gently.

  In a rush of seemingly chaotic words, I recount the story Will told me and fill in the parts I learned from the original investigators findings.

  When I finish, we take a break. Tyler brings me a hot cup of tea and a few cookies Heather made.

  He sits down at his desk and looks back through his notes. “So, the next logical step would be to talk to your brother. Where does your brother live?”

  “Lincoln, Nebraska,” I answer.

  “Okay ... that’s a little farther away than I expected.”

  “Don’t worry about it. My brother is planning to come out for my birthday this weekend.”

  “That’s good. We can always hold these things over a video conference call, but they never seem as productive to me because I can’t read the person’s body language as well on camera.”

  “Allegedly, William will be here live and in person to answer our questions.”

  “Why do you say allegedly?”

  “William has been known to change his plans at the last minute without notice. So, I hate to promise anything. He and I operate on a different vibe. I am a planner by nature, and he likes to be spontaneous and make decisions based on his gut.”

  “I see,” Ty responds as he finishes taking notes. “Jameson doesn’t understand what’s going on and he’s jumping to all the wrong conclusions.”

  “Of course, he is. He is Jameson. It’s part of his nature to be sk
eptical. His life experiences haven’t given him reason to change his mind about things. But, you see my problem here — if I tell him that there has been a development with Toby’s case involving my brother, he’ll move heaven and earth to talk to William. You know good and well that if he does that, it might compromise the investigation. So, what am I supposed to do?”

  “Let me handle that part. If you can, please avoid talking to Jameson until I’ve spoken with your brother. I need to get William’s account straight from him before he encounters any more outside interference.”

  “I wish you luck. I’ve been stewing over this for a couple of days. I can’t come up with the right answer. Anything I do is going to hurt Jameson. Maybe coming from you, it might not be so painful.”

  I grimace as I hear my phone ping again. I know without looking it’s probably another text message from Jameson.

  Brynley walks by my desk and asks, “Are you ever going to put that man out of his misery?”

  “I wish I could. But it’s not that simple. There are huge stakes involved and they’re bigger than just the relationship between us.”

  “Wow! Sucks to be you.”

  I laugh at Brynley’s vernacular, but she’s not wrong. “Some days, it really does.”

  The phone on my desk rings. “Geez! Can the man not get a clue?” Brynley exclaims as she rolls her eyes.

  I shrug as I answer the phone, “Locate My Heart, this is Kendall. How can I help you?”

  “Umm ... Hi Kendall, this is Bethany Livingston.”

  “Bethany? How are you doing?”

  “I’m good. No, I’m pretty great now that Asher is back. I’m one of the lucky ones. He picked up with nursing right where he left off. All that pumping was worth it, I guess. I have a freezer full of milk, but I’m still managing to nurse him through it. My pediatrician is amazed at my stubbornness throughout the process. He thought I would have to quit.”

  “That’s great news!”

  “I called to ask you a strange question.”