Heart Wish

by Mary Crawford

  Brynley swoons. “Why, thank you. I try to be.”

  Will turns to me and asks, “Do you think it’s too late for me to talk to your cop buddy? I’d just as soon get this all over with.”

  “No, I think you’re good. Tyler is usually in his office this time of day. Do you want me to run over with you so I can introduce you?”

  Brynley silently mouths, “Cop buddies?” before she presses her lips together in disapproval.

  “I’m sure Sheriff Colton is looking forward to what you have to say. It could be our big break in this missing child case.”

  Brynley exhales when she hears the explanation. “Don’t worry about anything here. I’m helping Colette put together a slideshow for the charity auction, so we’ll both be in the office.”

  “I appreciate that. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”

  “You want to ride with me?” Will asks. “It’d be a shame for this monster of a car to go to waste.”

  “Do you realize we are going to a Sheriff’s Office? You can’t act like it’s the Indianapolis 500.”

  “Well, fine if you’re going to be like that,” Will pouts.

  “I’m your big sister. It’s my job, remember?”

  “You’re my big sister by like three minutes. I bet if I took Brynley for a ride in this thing, she wouldn’t be telling me to be careful,” Will replies with a wink.

  “I don’t know. I guess you’ll have to ask me to find out, won’t you?” Brynley challenges.

  “Consider yourself asked,” William retorts.

  I escort my brother into Tyler’s office. There’s a knot in my stomach because William looks scared to death. Will is known for being adventurous and spontaneous. This is not an expression I usually see on his face.

  “I don’t know, Sis. Maybe I don’t remember all the details as clearly as I think I do. What if I steer everyone in the wrong direction?” he whispers as we wait for Ty.

  “Look, Toby has been missing for four and a half years. Your information is the closest thing to a concrete lead in years. Even if it doesn’t end up being the only clue that helps us find Toby Payne, it’s a place to start.”

  “Do you think the similarities between his screen name and his last name means something?”

  “I can’t tell you that Will; it’s not my place. But Sheriff Colton will be able to put it all in perspective.”

  “You know, I wouldn’t do this for anybody but you,” Will remarks.

  “I don’t want you to do it for me. I want you to do it for Toby Payne. If I had a missing child, I’d want someone to come forward even if they didn’t know for sure if their information was helpful.”

  Tyler enters his office and stands in front of us as he sticks his hand out for my brother to shake. “You must be Will. Kendall is one of our favorite people around here — and it’s not just because she brings us yummy stuff to eat.”

  “Her cooking is the bomb, isn’t it?”

  “It is. I understand you’re here to share some information with us on a missing persons case.”

  “I guess I am. I wasn’t even aware what I know might be important until I talked to Kendall. She thought I should share what I know with you.”

  “Every bit helps — especially in a cold case like this. It may turn out to be nothing, or it may turn out to be the one thing that turns this case from cold to hot.”

  “I hope so. The Archaeologist of Pain was a nice kid. He was without a doubt the best gamer I’ve ever seen — child or adult.”

  Tyler turns to me. “You know how this works Kendall. Our office needs to do a formal, on the record interview with your brother. I don’t want his account of the situation to be influenced by your presence. Since I know the parties in this case, I’m going to have Officer Garcia do the questioning.”

  I hold up my big tote bag. “Is the small conference room open? I’ll just go do some work.”

  “There’s a schedule on the wall, but I think it’s free. Are you sure you don’t want an officer to take you home?”

  “Oh, don’t bother anyone. Jameson set me up with a laptop that’s far more functional than the desktop I used to use. I can be mobile now. I’ll just go hide away and conquer some paperwork.”

  “You won’t let them torture me with a rubber hose or anything, will you?” Will jokes.

  I wink at my brother as I say, “It could be considered payback for the feather duster incident. I might have to think about it.”

  “I was seven years old! How was I supposed to know tickling you was going to make you pee your pants?”

  Tyler laughs out loud. “Come on now children. It’s time to let the past go and live for the future.”

  Will sighs. “I hope what I tell you today will help us find Toby. He should have the chance to live for the future too.”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” Tyler remarks. “I promise we’ll be gentle. We just need to put the facts on the table as you know them. That’s all we’re trying to accomplish today.”

  “That’s why I’m here. Let’s get this done,” Will says resolutely. When he catches the pensive expression on my face, he says, “Relax Sis. I’m not a seven-year-old kid anymore. I know how to adult with the best of them.”

  “I can’t help it. I’ll always worry about you. I think it’s in the job description of being a big sister. Thank you for stepping up. It means more to me than I can express.”

  The clock in the conference room is unbearably loud. It seems to tick off the time in slow motion. I’ve done everything I can think of. I’ve cleaned out all of my email boxes, including the junk ones. I’ve corresponded with people I’ve been neglecting for far too long. I even updated the pictures on Locate My Heart’s website.

  Now it’s just me, Pink, and Jewel to pass the time. Well, that’s not exactly true. Jameson is inhabiting about every other thought I have. If it were a normal situation, I would’ve been able to call him up and tell him all my hopes and fears about this development and help him understand what it means to him and his family. Unfortunately, these are not normal circumstances, and I really don’t know if I handled it the right way. I hope I didn’t blow everything up between us. His last few text messages seemed extremely angry and had an air of finality about them. I never wanted that to happen. I just want to make sure that every T is crossed, and every I is dotted — so if we ever find out what happened to Toby, and it involves another person, that we can bring justice to his case.

  Finally, there is a knock on the conference room door. To my total shock, it’s Jameson.

  “Hi … um … I’m sorry. I can’t talk to you right now,” I stammer as I catch a hint of his cologne in the air and almost lose my resolve.

  “Tyler’s going to be here in a minute. He cleared us to talk to each other, but not about what’s going on with my brother.”

  “I had a feeling this might happen. I wonder if Ty wants Locate My Heart to pull out of the case entirely?”

  “I hope that doesn’t happen. Both of my parents adore you. They’d be devastated if you couldn’t help us anymore.”

  “I’m not sure what to do. I’ll talk to Tyler. Still, it might be better if Colette takes over for me.”

  “If you can, I want you to stay on my brother’s case. Your friendship with my parents has helped them in ways I can’t even describe. My mom is back to planting flowers and reading books. She even cleaned out her craft room. I know it might not seem like much, but this is the first time that I’ve seen them care about what’s going on in the world around them in several years. They’ve created their own little unit. It’s a while since they’ve let anyone into their lives, including me — now they are.”

  “I don’t know if I had a lot to do with that. It might just be that with the renewed efforts to find Toby they are also finding some hope that they lost along the way.”

  “Whatever it is, I don’t want my parents to backslide. I like this version of them. It reminds me of how they were before all of this happened.”
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  “I don’t know, Jameson. Maybe I shouldn’t be so involved. What if things don’t go as well as we hope? Are you going to forever equate me with the darkest time in your life? That doesn’t bode well for us.”

  “I don’t have any answers. I just know that not having you as part of my life isn’t working for me.”

  I practically sob as I answer, “It’s not working for me either. This has been the toughest thing I’ve gone through since Quinn’s death. I even begged my brother to come earlier so that we could get this all settled.”

  “Wait? Your brother is all tied up in this?” Jameson asks incredulously.

  “See? This is exactly why I have to back away. We are not even supposed to be talking about this; yet, here we are. I don’t know how we separate our personal and our professional lives.”

  “There has to be an answer,” Jameson argues. “Sacrificing our relationship isn’t okay with me.”

  Tyler walks into the room. “It shouldn’t have to be. No one is asking you to do that.”

  “It sure feels like that to me. I was the one left in the dark — not only about my personal life, but the search for my brother. I don’t know who put Kendall in a position where she felt she had to lie, but that’s not right.”

  I place my hand on Jameson’s forearm. “Please don’t blame them. This was on me. I wanted to make sure that my presence in your brother’s case didn’t cause any problems. As soon as William became involved, there were no good choices. I chose to protect you and your family over my heart.”

  “So, do we have to stay apart until my brother is found, or the perpetrator is tried … or when exactly?” Jameson replies with a hopeless look on his face.

  “No, I don’t think we have to entertain something that severe right now. Officer Garcia was able to do a comprehensive, videotaped interview with Will.”

  My brother peeks around the doorway and waves at Jameson. “Nice to meet you, I just wish it wasn’t like this.”

  “Come on in, Will. Let’s talk about this so everyone can clear the air. I don’t want you to give the precise details of the statement you gave to Officer Garcia, but I do want you to give Jameson a brief overview.”

  Tyler and Will take a seat at the conference table and my brother cracks his knuckles like he always does when he’s nervous. He looks at Jameson. “If I’d known this was going to cause problems between you and my sister, I might not have said anything. I don’t know how helpful my information will be anyway.”

  “Oh, don’t say that! Even if Jameson and I are going through a rough patch, having information is better than not knowing.”

  “Kendall is right. As tough as this has been, if it leads to finding my brother, it’ll all have been worth it.”

  Will looks uncomfortable as he runs his hand through his shaggy, blond hair. “I hope what I have to say isn’t disappointing. Maybe it’s been a little over-hyped. Unfortunately, I never met your little brother in person. My only interactions with him were online. I thought he was a really neat kid.”

  “Did you know he was a kid?” Jameson presses.

  “Not at first. He was so good at every game put in front of him that we thought that he was a homeless person who hung out at the library all day and played games. I knew him as the Archaeologist of Pain — that was his screen name online. One of his competitors was jealous of his success and researched the IP addresses he was using to access one of the gaming boards. When it was discovered that he was accessing the computers at a library, a bunch of us got together to talk about whether we could do something to help if he was homeless. But, he completely disappeared before we could do anything.”

  “Is that all you knew about Toby?”

  Will shakes his head. “Toby became friends with one of my roommates who worked at the Badlands National Park in South Dakota. They specialize in fossils there, and my friend was a Ranger who frequently spoke in the visitor center. So, apparently, your brother worked with his teacher to have Galen do a remote lesson from the Badlands.”

  “This is unreal! I remember that. Toby was so excited about it he wrote me a seven-page letter. He was so impressed by your friend Galen, he wanted to grow up to be a park ranger.”

  “Jameson, I know this is a long shot, but do you still have those letters? If so, we could use them to collaborate details,” Tyler interjects.

  “Why don’t you just talk to Galen?” Jameson asks.

  “Galen was killed while serving overseas,” Will explains.

  “We’ve lost too many good soldiers,” Tyler remarks.

  “Yeah, Galen was one of the genuinely good guys,” Will confirms.

  “Will, I appreciate you coming forward. I don’t even know if you know this — but did my brother ever tell you how he learned to play all these games? My parents were pretty strict about Internet access. When I was home on leave, he would come over to my apartment, and we’d play for a couple of hours, but nothing that would account for the type of expertise you’re talking about.”

  “I don’t know. Galen and I were part of a tiny group who knew that Toby was only a teenager. Everyone else assumed he was a gaming insider who had an unfair advantage by getting the games early.”

  “Did any of that rivalry seem extreme?”

  “There’s always smack talk going on — especially when big scores go up, and people progress through the levels of games more quickly than others. Accusations of cheating or gaming the system are pretty common.”

  “You saw how Toby played, do you think he was cheating?”

  “No, I watched him go through a game he had never seen before — screenshot by screenshot — and he was scary good. He just had an innate talent for figuring out what the creators of the game expected of him.”

  Jameson takes his baseball cap off and bends the bill. “I just feel stupid. I had no idea my little brother had this whole other life. He seemed like a nerdy kid; he liked to read books and play chess. I never figured that he would find a way around Mom and Dad’s rules and become some famous master gamer.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, the Archaeologist of Pain was a respected player. People sought out his advice, and he was a valued member of our gaming community. I was sad when he disappeared. I had no idea it was under mysterious circumstances. I just figured maybe his parents got a divorce or some weird home or school thing going on.”

  “I can assure you that’s not what happened,” Jameson asserts.

  “I didn’t say it was. I’m just saying what I thought might’ve happened to Toby. None of it made any sense, so I was trying to figure it all out.”

  “One day, he told my mom he had a project due he needed to work on. He said he was going to walk to the library After he left our front door, no one saw him again,” Jameson recounts.

  “Look, I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you more, but I only knew his online persona,” Will explains.

  Jameson shakes out his hands and arms. “I don’t mean to take this out on you. I’m just frustrated with the whole situation. I appreciate the fact that you came forward. I can’t believe you flew all the way to Oregon to give the interview. That was a real stand-up move. I can’t thank you enough.”

  “Well, I figure if I accidentally opened a can of worms I needed to see it through.”

  “Maybe someone else can pick up the ball with the information you’ve provided. It’s a lot more than we had before,” Tyler says as he continues to take notes.

  “I can’t believe I’ve been sitting on what could be a critical clue for all these years. I have every single letter that Toby ever sent me. I can tell the guy who is subletting my house where they are, and he can express ship them to me,” Jameson offers.

  Ty jots down some notes. “That would be great.”

  “That gives me an idea,” Will adds. “I’m still friends with Galen’s mom. Maybe he kept some letters or something else from Toby. I’ll ask her.”

  “I appreciate your enthusiasm William, but I think that that is a ta
sk better left to the Sheriff’s Office,” Tyler cautions.

  “Right. I need to keep myself separate from other witnesses. I suppose that includes dead ones.”

  “I know you want to help. However, we need to keep chain of custody. Evidence in the wrong hands is not helpful in court.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. If I started reading Galen’s letters, it’d be harder to remember just what I recall,” Will replies.

  “Exactly. So, let me get a team of people together to chase down these new leads,” Tyler says as he puts his pen down. He narrows his gaze as he points at me. “You. Go out to eat or something. Spend some quality time with your boyfriend. He misses you. Don’t let this investigation interfere with your life. You’ve done all you can to separate yourself from the evidence.”

  “Does that mean that I don’t need to pass the case off to Colette?”

  “Ideally, it’d be better if you did, but I understand why you might not want to,” Tyler responds.

  “Can I request that she stay on the case? My parents don’t trust very many people and they’ve bonded with Kendall. If she were to step away, it could complicate the investigation. My parents might back away and decide not to be part of the search. You have no idea the hell they went through.”

  “I will document your concerns in my notes and append them to Officer Garcia’s report.”

  “I hate to sound whiny here, but I’m so hungry I am about ready to collapse. Airline food, even in first-class, isn’t overly filling. Are we done here or can we pick up at another time?” Will pleads.

  Ty smiles and then clears his throat. “I think we are finished here. Thank you all for coming and hashing this out. I hope that all this pain and angst leads to some solid, concrete information we can use now to find your brother.” Tyler pauses and looks directly at Jameson. “You’ll never know how sorry I am about the way the case was handled when your brother first went missing. Unfortunately, I can’t go back and fix that, but I can make sure that his case gets the attention it needs now.”

  “I guess that’s the best I can expect at this point. I don’t want to give up hope, but every day that passes makes it more difficult for me to hang in there,” Jameson admits.