The Spider Queen

by Emma Slate

  “Tomorrow morning,” Thane announced before I could reply.

  “Ah, right.” She smirked. “How could I have forgotten?” She walked to the door and placed her hand on the knob. “Until tomorrow then.”

  “Thank you for the ride,” I called to her.

  “Anytime!”

  The door closed, and Thane and I were alone in the throne room. He led me up the dais to one of the thrones. It was ornate and when I touched it, it shimmered black.

  “It recognizes you,” he said softly. “It’s yours. Sit in it.”

  I gently sat down, marveling at the comfort despite it being made of stone. It was deceptive, of course, not appearing as it truly was.

  Thane took his throne next to me, and we sat in silence while I gaped at the space.

  “What is this room used for?”

  “Ceremonies. And should a creature of my realm wish for an audience, they come here.” He waved his hand, and a crown appeared on his head.

  He waved his hand again, and I instantly felt the weight of a crown on mine. I took it off to look at it. A simple black band of stone shaped like ivy and spiders. Their eyes twinkled like diamonds.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Will you wear it?”

  “Now?”

  His smile was lopsided. “When we marry.”

  “Marry? I thought you didn’t believe in marriage. Not in the normal sense.”

  “I’d like to have a celebration, Poppy. Invite the deities and immortals that are friends. Rejoice that the world is safe—for the time being. Announce that the true Guardian of the Bridge has come home, is ready to take up the duties once again, and has found his mate.”

  I nodded thoughtfully, turning my head away.

  “What is it?”

  “No, it’s nothing.”

  “It’s not nothing. Whatever it is, it’s written all over your face.” He reached out to gently grasp my chin, forcing my gaze back to his. “Tell me.”

  “You were right—when you said I’ve given up things.” I swallowed. “I hadn’t allowed myself to think about them: my parents and my cousin. There wasn’t time to process anything, you know? We just had to keep moving forward. We had this…this burden overshadowing everything. Save the world, even though there wasn’t very much hope that we were actually going to succeed. I haven’t had time to feel through anything.”

  “Hunter’s death,” he said, his tone solemn, his expression full of understanding.

  I nodded again, feeling tears prick my eyes. “I love you. I do, Thane. But I—haven’t yet made peace with all that I left behind.”

  He pressed a hand to my chest and felt the thumping of my heart.

  “I changed when I went into the ice swamp, and the icicle pierced me. But I changed again when I freed the mage. My heart is once again whole, but it’s been rearranged.” I searched his eyes, trying to explain, trying to make him understand. “When my heart wasn’t at all human, it chose you. It fell in love with you. And this heart, the one in my chest, it still knows that. It just feels other things too.”

  “And the celebration…”

  “Would be a reminder of all the people I don’t have with me. So can you give me some time?”

  “Take all the time you need.”

  His eyes looked like molten gold in the torchlight. It was a physical change I hadn’t yet grown accustomed to. “Let’s go to bed,” I suggested.

  The gold winked out, replaced by dark glittering black. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Chapter 53

  Thane led me to his private bedchamber, an expansive, impressive room. The bed was made for pleasure—covered in black silk sheets and plush red pillows. Like the room I’d woken up in only a few weeks ago—how could it have only been a few weeks—I could see the sky. Stars and moonlight, galaxies and far away nebulas. I craned my neck to stare at it for a moment. Even here, even now, I still felt small. We’d saved the world, for now, and I still didn’t know my place in it.

  “I’ll give you the tour of the castle tomorrow,” Thane promised.

  I felt him move to stand behind me. I leaned into him, relishing in the heat he radiated. My head fell back against his chest, and I angled my neck. He swept my hair off my shoulder so his fingers could dance across my skin.

  “I don’t know what to do now,” I admitted. “We had a purpose, a common goal. We succeeded. Now what?”

  His mouth descended to nip at my ear. “I have an idea.”

  “I’m serious, Thane,” I said, even as shivers worked their way up my spine. “You’re about to weigh souls for who knows how long. What am I supposed to do? Stay home and knit?”

  “You know how to knit?”

  I turned to look at him. “My spiders knit. Or spin silk. Whatever. You know what I mean.”

  “You need a purpose.”

  “Yes. What did your mother do while your father went to work?” I put went to work in air quotes.

  “She raised us.”

  When I thought about having children—when I’d been human—I assumed I’d go back to work. I wanted to work. I’d been passionate about what I’d been studying, and I couldn’t imagine not having that to enjoy. I chose my words carefully. “That’s all well and good. But I think I’m going to need something else. Something that’s just for me.”

  He nodded thoughtfully, his hands gently massaging my shoulders. “Now that we’re discussing it, perhaps we should talk about children.”

  “Later.” I wasn’t ready to discuss babies with my immortal mate. I hadn’t even grieved the loss of my human life and my human lover.

  “Come here.” Thane pulled me into his arms.

  I went willingly, snuggling against his chest, breathing him in. “Isn’t Gabriel going to get here soon with the first batch of souls?”

  “It’ll keep.” He pressed a kiss to my hair. “Tonight, you come first.”

  And I did.

  Many, many times.

  When the both of us were sated, we finally slept, tangled in each other and musky sheets. Sometime during the night, I woke up. I rolled over onto my back to stare at the nebula ceiling. My mind had unwillingly turned on, and I was awake.

  I looked over at Thane. He slept on his stomach, one of his arms flung out to rest on my belly. He looked soft, vulnerable. I gently ran a hand through his hair and then crept from the bed. I pulled on a silky black robe, which rested on an ornate wooden chair, and then quietly stepped out onto the balcony.

  Thane’s bedroom overlooked the ocean. It appeared almost like a body of water on Earth, except with a few differences. Every now and again, a creature not found in the mortal realm would pop to the surface and then dive back down. The silvery water glowed purple. Iridescent Purgatory algae? Or something else, perhaps? Ocean nymphs, maybe?

  I couldn’t wait to explore Thane’s domain and learn all about the beings that inhabited here. Though I suppose it could be considered my domain now, too.

  A shadowy figure walked along the beach. My heart tripped in fear, but when a hand pulled back the hood of the cloak to reveal long silver hair, I knew it was Cassandra.

  Spin me a ladder.

  Ropes of silky thread kneaded together and crawled over the stone balcony edge. I sent a silent thank you to my spiders and then climbed down. My feet hit sand, and I walked silently toward the lapping waves. Nothing would harm me here. I instinctively knew that. But even if there was the slightest bit of danger, I knew I possessed the powers to defend myself. I didn’t need Thane. Not for that.

  Cassandra turned, her smile slight. “Couldn’t sleep either?”

  I shook my head.

  “Care for a walk?”

  I nodded and moved up to stand beside her.

  In a show of friendship, she embraced me. “Welcome home.”

  Chapter 54

  “I thought for sure you’d sleep soundly this night,” she commented as she began to walk.

  I kept by her side. “I thought I would too.” Tha
ne’s lustful ministrations had exhausted my body, but my brain hadn’t been lulled into rest.

  She smiled in thoughtful understanding. “You succeeded. Well done.”

  I laughed softly. “Is that your version of atta girl?”

  “If you want it to be.”

  “How did you know we succeeded?”

  “I felt it.” Cass raised her hand to her chest. “Here. There was a ripple and then—” Her hands made an explosion gesture. “Creatures that had been hiding or slumbering woke up. The land changed. It felt alive again.”

  “But this is Purgatory.”

  Cass smiled. “There are parts of Hell that are living, too. I thought you’d know by now that not everything is as it seems.”

  “I need to remember that. Put it on a sticky note or something.”

  We kept walking, and the waves reached our feet. The warmth of the water surprised me. Charleston was on the Atlantic, and I always thought it was too cold to swim. Not here. My toes sank into the damp sand, leaving behind a trail of footprints.

  “What ails you, my Queen?”

  “Why so formal, Cass? You didn’t talk to me this way before the quest.”

  “You hadn’t chosen Thane in his entirety. Now you have, and that act of pure, unadulterated love for him has changed the way all the beings in this realm view you. And so now, just like the others of this domain, I will serve you like I serve him.”

  “Okay, look. I grew up human. I had no idea this world existed. I wasn’t groomed for this…position. So I want you to treat me like a good friend. As an equal. Because I really need someone who will give it to me straight. That person used to be my cousin.” I swallowed when I thought of Anita. How was she dealing with my “death”? Was she coping? Was she in denial?

  Cass’s voice jarred me out of my thoughts. “You want me to give it to you straight?” Cass repeated.

  “Yep.”

  Cass let out a sigh. “Thank Zeus, because I cannot stand to be so formal. With Thane, yes. Not with you.”

  I took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

  “So, what can I help you work through?” she asked.

  “Oh, I didn’t mean right now—”

  “If you left Thane’s bed on the night of your homecoming, something is obviously troubling you. It will stay between us, I promise.”

  “What do I do with myself?” I demanded. “As Thane’s mate?”

  “You have his children.”

  “Wow, are all you immortals so antiquated in your thinking? This isn’t the 1950s. I’m not June Cleaver. I don’t own pearls.”

  I felt a weight settle around my neck.

  Cass laughed. “Your spiders have a dark sense of humor. Black pearls, it seems.”

  I laughed. “Well, a sense of humor can get you through almost anything.”

  “You don’t want Thane’s children?”

  “I do,” I admitted. “I just want other things too.”

  “Such as?”

  “Hobbies? Friends. Another purpose. I don’t think I can have children and let them be the center of my world. I need to feel useful in other ways.”

  “You were human once. You don’t think those feelings are indicative of the time you were born in? I was human. Long, long ago.”

  “It was different for you? With Agamemnon?”

  She nodded. “It would’ve been enough. The twins. Him.”

  “You and I are different.”

  “We are. But you’re allowed to examine how you feel about the ideas you grew up with. Challenging your beliefs is in your nature. And there is something else to consider, something I think you keep forgetting.”

  “What’s that?”

  Cass grinned. “You’re immortal. So if you spend the next fifty years raising children, that leaves the rest of eternity to become really good at basket weaving. Or pottery decorating.”

  Laughing, I shook my head. “You make an excellent point. By the way, hobbies have changed a tad since you were human.”

  “I like video games as much as the next person.”

  “Do you?”

  “I do.”

  “Good to know.” I snorted. “I guess I’m spinning out of control because for the first time ever, I can do what I want, be what I want. I have the time to cultivate skills and interests.”

  “Are you interested in learning ancient Greek?”

  “Not even a little bit.”

  We walked in silence for a few feet, and then Cass crouched down to pick up a shell. She handed it to me. “Put it to your ear.”

  “I don’t need to put a shell to my ear to hear the sounds of the ocean. We’re at the ocean.”

  “Put it to your ear,” she said again.

  With a shrug, I did as she commanded. There were no sounds of the sea coming from the shell, but singing. It was so hauntingly beautiful and so full of pain it brought tears to my eyes.

  “What is this?” I whispered.

  “The Song of Grief. The merrow sing it whenever one of them passes to Atlantis.”

  I closed my eyes and mourned with them; I knew for whom they grieved. I grieved him too. I lowered the shell, unable to endure their chorus any longer.

  “Atlantis is a real place?” I shook my head. “Of course it is. Everything we know is steeped in some version of the truth.”

  “He’s at peace, Poppy. He is dead to you and I, but his essence, what you know as a soul is still alive and well.”

  I snapped, suddenly angry. “He’s without his human family, and the merrow family he belonged to are still alive. He can never be with them again.”

  “Do not make him out to be a martyr,” she said. Her tone was calm, and she hadn’t raised her voice. “He made a choice. Like we all make our choices. He let you go. Let him go. He’s at peace, and you should find yours too.” She paused, as if she wanted to say more.

  “What is it, Cass?”

  She shook her head. “You’re not ready to hear it.”

  “That only makes me want to know it more. Tell me.” My voice softened. “Please?”

  Cass inhaled a deep breath and then nodded. “All right.” She bit her lip, forming her words. “Your children will change the fabric of the universe.”

  I trembled as sense of foreboding washed over me. “Children?”

  She nodded. Her gaze slipped from mine to stare across the ocean. What did she see? Did I really want to know?

  “All their fates are tied to humanity,” she said slowly. “Their futures are unclear. I cannot see what is in store for them exactly, but I know that they will face trials; their lives will not be without strife. But they will survive. All of them.”

  I held my breath. “How many will I have?”

  She smiled gently. “That’s for me to know. Let some things remain a surprise.”

  Chapter 55

  “Should we go back?” Cass asked.

  “You go. I need some more time here.”

  “Are you sure? I hate to leave you…”

  I smiled up at her. “Nothing will try to harm me.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “You know how to change now. Into your spider form.”

  “Yes.”

  “I look forward to seeing that some day.” Cass smiled and then padded her way back toward the fortress. I couldn’t even hear her footsteps.

  Her words about me changing rang inside my mind. I’d changed in more ways than she knew. What was I truly afraid of now? I’d died—I’d let go of Thane so he could live and love again. I’d given him the last of my essence to help him defeat his brother. I’d killed a man I once loved, all to save the world. Why was I hung up on such human worries? I was immortal now. As long as another creature didn’t try to end my life, then I had a long existence ahead of me.

  But I supposed I hadn’t yet let go of my human hopes and dreams. My human family. All of that didn’t just disappear because I became immortal. Though I had a conflicted relationship with my parents, that didn’t mean I wished them any sadness
. And my cousin? She’d been my best friend. What would they do if they learned I was alive, that I hadn’t gone crazy? A part of me wished they could know, but I quickly realized the futility of it. I now lived in a world that humans weren’t a part of. They were not meant to know about our realm. No. Better they lived in innocence and naiveté.

  To truly protect them, I had to let them go. I had to let them mourn me and hopefully learn to live with the pain. Telling them I was alive would only do more harm. I had to let my human life go because I wasn’t human and would never be again.

  Just when I thought about getting up and heading back to bed, my spiders pulsed with emotion. I felt them reaching out with their silken threads to spin around a tiny golden seed deep within me.

  “Oh,” I whispered in awareness. Cass’s words about my children came floating back to me. She’d been trying to tell me without actually telling me.

  The air crackled with energy, and then I felt the heat of him at my back.

  “You didn’t just beg for my life. Did you?” I asked, my voice soft, barely heard over the gentle waves.

  “No,” he said, his voice as dark as the shadows, but as warm as languid humid nights.

  “The gold in your eyes…?”

  “Yes. The moment you conceived my eyes turned gold.”

  “You knew and you didn’t tell me. Why?” It didn’t come out as an accusation.

  Thane wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back into the comfort of his chest. “I think I wanted it to be just the two of us for a little while longer. We had just found each other.”

  I let out a small laugh. “Then maybe we should’ve thought about using some form of immortal birth control.” Did such a thing even exist?

  Thane brushed the hair away from my nape. “I thought we’d both die, Poppy. I thought we were marching toward our own deaths. And I—I don’t know. I don’t think I planned for after. How do you plan for an after when you expect to die? I thought our time together was finite. I’m deeply gratified to know that it’s not.” He spread his hands across my belly, and I felt heat curl inside me.