Obsession Too: Loving An Alpha Male

by S. K. Lessly

  I rocked slowly for a while thinking of just how to handle Misty and as soon as I had my plan B intact, I felt better. I fought back a yawn and I started to head inside, thinking that a cold shower was in my future, when I felt my phone vibrating. I pulled it out, ready to send whomever it was to voicemail when I saw Misty’s name on my screen. I quickly swiped the screen and put the phone to my ear.

  “Hello?” I heard nothing at first and I started to check to see if we’d been disconnected when I heard her breathe out.

  From there, she softly said, “Hey, did I wake you?”

  I settled further into the rocking chair and propped my feet on the banister connected to the porch. “No, you didn’t. What’s going on? You okay?”

  She paused again before answering in the still, soft voice that was beginning to make my chest swell with excitement…and my dick twitch.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “What are you doing still up?” I asked her.

  “Couldn’t sleep. I’ve been dozing off and on all day today, and now that it’s time to actually go to sleep, I can’t seem to turn off my brain.”

  I chuckled. “I know how that is. It happens to me all the time. Sometimes I can be too tired to fall asleep, if that makes sense.”

  “Is that why you’re still awake?”

  “Yeah, among other things.”

  “How was dinner?” she asked me, lightly changing the subject and I let her.

  “Dinner was good. Everyone asked about you.”

  “I know. Sweets texted me wondering if I was coming to dinner tonight. She said she had to talk to me about something. But I told her no and that I was having bad stomach pains.”

  I sat up slightly frowning. “Wait. What? When I texted you earlier you said that you were fine.”

  She laughed lightly. Why in the hell does she has to sound so damn sexy over the phone? “No, Shane, I told her I had cramps from women’s issues. That was my excuse for not making it to dinner. I couldn’t very well tell her the real reason. She’d tell Josh. You know Sweets couldn’t hold water if you gave her a cup with a top on it. I figured telling her I had cramps would go over better.”

  I let her words wash over my anger, and I calmed down. I leaned back in the chair and took a cleansing breath. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. And you’re sure you’re not in any pain?”

  “Well, I’m still a bit sore, but it’s not as bad as earlier.”

  “Okay, good.”

  We fell into a bit of silence, and I felt she was building up to ask or say something to me that was difficult for her.

  “What’s on your mind, baby?”

  There was another pregnant pause before she asked me, “Do you remember the first day we met?”

  Of course I remembered, how could I forget? “Yes, we met while we were in Rome.”

  “Yeah, Josh and I were on assignment and we got done early and decided to stay in the country for a few days. I can’t remember why you and Malcolm were there, though.”

  “We were actually in Marseille meeting with a few members of the French Foreign Legion. We had learned from a contact in Afghanistan that there was a rogue French operative working with the Taliban. We decided to share the knowledge with them face to face. After that, we went to Milan to follow another lead and found out you and Josh were in Rome. Before we left the country, we decided to check out our little brother and his new girlfriend.”

  She laughed. “You do realize that Josh and I were never an item?”

  I grinned, thinking about the many times Josh had told us the same. “Yeah, he told us, but we still gave him shit about it. What’s got you thinking about that day?”

  “I don’t know. Just everything that has happened over the last forty-eight hours I guess. Do you remember the girl that Malcolm was with that day? I think her name was Bridgette, right?

  “Yeah, I believe that was it.”

  “I thought she and Malcolm were a cute couple,” she admitted.

  “I agree. I liked Bridgette,” I confirmed. “She was actually stationed in Afghanistan. That’s how the two of them met. They were going strong for a minute, but that’s when we got really busy and had to be in hostile territory more times than Bridgette could stomach. Things became too much for her and when her time was up and she was shipped home, she left her relationship with Malcolm in the sand.”

  “Oh, wow! I didn’t know that. I had asked Josh about it months later, and he said he wasn’t sure what had happened between them. Then when I saw you guys again that time in Afghanistan, I didn’t think to ask him again.”

  “Well, in your defense, you were kind of busy keeping terrorists off our asses, so I think you got a pass on that.”

  “Yeah, those times were kind of crazy, weren’t they?”

  “Yeah, they really were. A lot of scary moments. A lot of good people lost their lives or were severely injured during that time. But I have to say, if it wasn’t for you and those rifle skills of yours, I don’t think that Malcolm and I would be alive today. I know without you, Josh, and his entire team, we wouldn’t have accomplished as much as we did.”

  “Oorah to that,” she replied, falling into military jargon.

  I grinned into the phone. “Definitely.”

  The time in Afghanistan she’d mentioned was the first time we had worked together. My team and Josh’s team had joined forces and were assigned to a mission to wage war against the terrorist network in the Middle East. In other words, we were unleashed on terrorists with no rules of engagement. We were free to do whatever we deemed necessary and appropriate, which meant we had the green light to eliminate any threat we found with extreme prejudice. We hunted down terrorists and extremists that made up the U.S. International Top Most Wanted list as well as anyone else that posed a threat to our lives and the lives of every American at home and abroad.

  Our personal war on terror lasted longer than the powers that be had wanted it to, but we were getting results and eliminating people that the U.S. otherwise couldn’t get to because of red tape. Josh’s team was crucial to our success and best believe we were very successful. The technology he had at his disposal had allowed us to work in the shadows without the world knowing what was happening. But the tech side was only half of the reason for our success. The other half was all Misty. She was the only woman with us, and she had held her own with no problem. My team had learned quickly how ruthless she was before we found out she was a marine. She was impressive in more ways than we all ever thought were possible. I mean Josh had told us, but shit, we still weren’t ready.

  Misty grew silent over the airways again, and I didn’t interrupt. I looked out into the distant ocean and waited for her to tell me the real reason why she’d called. I knew my woman, believe me, there was something else eating at her. If we were face to face, I would’ve probably gotten it out of her by now, but I patiently waited for her to tell me what was on her mind.

  “Can I ask you something?” She finally broke the silence.

  “Anything,” I replied.

  “Do you ever worry about what we do for a living or who we are, possibly affecting our family?”

  “In what way?”

  “Well, do you worry about someone getting to your family because of something that you’ve done or that they think you’ve done?”

  I paused a beat before I answered. “Yes, all the time. I think we all do. Why do you ask?”

  She didn’t answer me. Instead, she asked, her voice rushing out in a breath, “Do you think I’m reckless?”

  Slightly amused and without hesitation I answered, “Yes.”

  She grunted. “Wow. Don’t hold back.”

  I could imagine her rolling her eyes after she grunted as she lay in the darkness talking to me. I couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from my lips.

  “Misty, I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that you can be reckless at times. You’re reckless when you’re making decisions in your personal life. I’ve told you that alrea
dy. You’re a fire-breathing dragon, a hot head at times. And most hot heads are reckless. But what’s weird about you is that when it comes to your job, you are on point. You’re calculated, strong, tough, smart, brave, and loyal. You never act unless you’ve gone through the pros and cons first, especially when there’re other people’s lives at stake. You have a brilliant military mind. You don’t make costly decisions, and that’s why you’re still here. It’s why we all are still here. So, you are reckless sometimes, but it’s not completely who you are.”

  She grew quiet again, letting the silence stretch to a point that made me pull back the phone to check to see that we still had a connection. When I put the phone back to my ear and fixed my mouth to tell her I was coming to her house, she spoke.

  “I wasn’t lying before when I told you that I didn’t recall how I bruised my side. I really don’t remember. I’ve been trying to recall what happened, how everything went down, and I can only remember up to a certain point.”

  “Do you think you blacked out?” I asked after a few seconds.

  “Yeah, I think I did. It’s crazy, Shane. I remember emptying the cages, setting all of those kids free, all but one. She was petrified and couldn’t move. I had to put my gun down and crawl into that horrible cage and talk her out of there. I knew I was running out of time. I could feel it, but I didn’t stop talking to that little girl until her arms were wrapped around my neck and I was climbing out of that prison.

  I was directing the children out of the room when Simon came out of nowhere. I had my gun in my hand, thank God, and I did my job and asked him get down on the ground and all that. I ordered the kids to run in the direction of the back door; I knew Josh was right behind me, so they would be safe.”

  “So did he have a gun trained on you?” I asked.

  “No, it was on his hip, but he did have a knife in his hand. It wasn’t a small knife either. And he could’ve easily pulled his gun quickly if he wanted to. Anyway, I repeated my order for him to put the knife down or I would shoot. He wasn’t listening. I started thinking of another way to get him down. I didn’t want to blast him. Well, I did but I didn’t. Does that make sense? With the kids around me, I didn’t think they needed to see me shoot him, and I knew that was what he wanted me to do. The bastard wanted to commit suicide by cop. I felt it in my bones. So I reached for the taser on my hip and that’s when he started talking shit.

  He was trying to get to me, I knew this. He started off by telling me all the things he would do to me, but I ignored him. I aimed the taser center mass, and that’s when he decided to switch tactics. He began to tell me everything he had done to the children. It didn’t matter the age, he told me. He said that they belonged to him and that they were his children, his flock and he was allowed to do what he pleased.”

  I heard the tremble in her voice as she spoke. I could feel her pain through the phone, and it was breaking me down.

  She whispered solemnly, “He told me everything he did, Shane. He didn’t leave anything to the imagination.”

  I closed my eyes at that last part and breathed out slowly. I knew where she was going with this. I had been in her shoes countless times. The bad guys loved to talk, especially the ones that wanted to commit suicide by cop. It’s textbook bullshit that if they say the right thing or do the right thing, in the end, they would get what they wanted. No matter what the cost.

  Misty cleared her throat and continued. “Then he um…moved from telling me what he had done to what he was going to do. Shane, you and I both know that once he was arrested, he’d probably be out before he got downtown. His connections ran deep. The FBI and brass, man, they were playing this all wrong. They wanted him alive so they could turn him and get him to work for them. The son of a bitch wouldn’t have said shit without immunity, and you know damn well they would have given it to him.”

  “So that’s when you decided to change the game? When you realized that he would be free the second the cuffs were off him?”

  As I spoke, I brought the crime scene back up in my mind as if I were watching a movie. I could vividly see the crime tape around the perimeter of the building. The warehouse was littered with FBI agents, local cops, ambulances, the county morgue, and news vans. I saw Misty and the terror that coveted her body. The fear in her eyes was becoming more and more profound. The way her hands shook slightly, how her eyes were jumpy, and the blood on her told a horrific story

  I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped me. My heart ached for her. I knew what she was going through. She was second guessing herself, something that any good person or agent would do. A life had been taken. It didn’t matter that he didn’t deserve to live. Whenever you take a life, a piece of you goes with it. It’s what separated you from the animals you’re trained to kill. A person would rack their brain going through their actions and reactions to make sure that what they’d done was just or righteous even. That’s what she was dealing with now.

  I was partly to blame for her insecurities too because of the way I went in on her at the crime scene. I should’ve seen that she was hurting sooner, but I couldn’t see past my own rage. When I finally got to her, I should have pushed her to talk to me. Most of all, I should be there with her now.

  “No, things didn’t change because of that,” she informed me, bringing me out of my thoughts and back to the conversation. I opened my eyes. “Things went to shit when he mentioned what he would to my family, especially the kids in my family. And yes, before you say it, I am fully aware that he was just saying things to get a rise out of me. I knew that. I didn’t flinch when he threatened to rape me, kill me, and then fuck my corpse in the ass. They were just his words. But the threats about my family and the reality that he would be free soon were too much. When I added that to the empty and evil look he had in his eyes, the truth in them, I couldn’t help but to believe every word he said. That’s what scared me the most.

  No, I don’t have any kids, but I’m a godmother now. And I kept thinking about what would happen if someone would ever hurt baby Jay-Jay. Then Sweets is pregnant again and Lili… I don’t know why, but I thought about all of them and my parents and I just… I snapped. I don’t know what happened after that. I can’t remember the moment when the taser in my hand disappeared or when I pulled out my knife. I can’t tell you who charged first or how it all went down. I think I felt him hit me, but I can’t be certain when it happened. I just remember one minute we were facing each other, staring into each other’s eyes, and then the next thing I remember was hearing Josh call my name.”

  I stared out into the night counting to ten in my head over and over again, trying to calm down so that I could talk to her. I hated the fact that she’d waited this long to tell me what had really happened. Most of all, I hated the fact that I was here instead of with her.

  “Baby, you need to get out of your head,” I told her after a brief moment. “Stop thinking about everything that happened. It was a righteous kill no matter what anyone says. You were protecting yourself. Any one of us in your shoes would have done the same thing. As a matter of fact, it probably would’ve been worse.

  “See that’s the thing, Shane,” she spoke quietly, “I can’t stop thinking about it. That night has been haunting me ever since. It’s not so much what I did, but what drove me to be so violent. I know I shouldn’t have let him get to me, but I kept seeing those kids in my mind. I could hear their cries of fear, anguish, and despair. It was stuck on replay in my mind. That probably fueled me even more, but I don’t know for sure. I just remembered getting angrier and angrier, especially when I knew that he wasn’t all talk. He would make good on his word. He would come after my family when I least expected it, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop him. And that’s my biggest fear, Shane. If someone hurts my family, my parents I…”

  She stopped talking, but I could hear her breathing hard and fast, completely upset.

  “Misty,” I began as I stood from my seat. “I’m coming over.”

&nbs
p; “No!” She blurted loudly through the phone. “Please, Shane, don’t. I don’t think I can talk about this with you here.”

  I didn’t reply. I was too busy wondering if Uber still ran this late. But in the end, I stayed where I was mainly because of what she said next.

  “Please, Shane, let me do this my way. I need to do this my way, okay?”

  I didn’t move at first. I exhaled and ran my hand through my hair. Shit, I was sober now. I felt the desperation…her desperation coming through loud and clear. Reluctantly, I sat back down in my chair, biting back the urge to go to her anyway and deal with the repercussions later.

  I said to her as soothingly as I could, relenting, “All right, I’ll stay where I am, but baby, I really wish you would have told me all of this at the scene or even last night.”

  “Why? What would you have done?”

  “Well, I tell you this, things would have gone a whole lot differently between us last night. I wouldn’t have waited so long to break into your house. I would have been there for you the way you needed me to. I wouldn’t have left you alone at all today. More importantly, I would’ve been able to ease your mind and tell you that you’re not alone. Misty, we all have that fear of someone hurting the ones we love because of who we are and what we do for a living. It comes with the job. In fact, those same fears actually came true for me.”

  “Are you serious? I never knew that?”

  “Yeah, it’s because I’ve never told anyone. I didn’t feel the need to since I handled it. It happened some time ago. Someone thought it would be a good idea to come after my family to get to me. They asked the right person to give me up, and for the right price, that person did. It just so happened that when a professional hit squad was sent to my parents’ house, I was there instead of them.”

  “What happened?”

  I chuckled softly. “Baby, what do you think happened? Let me put it to you like this, I’m still breathing, but the people that tried to kill me are not.”