Bracing the Blue Line

by Lindsay Paige

  “I wouldn't ever leave you because of something like that. You should know better, Maddie. All I want is for you to be healthy.”

  “Well, thanks to you, my parents want me to go see a therapist. I don't have a problem, Winston.” I open my mouth to interrupt her, but she beats me to it. “All I did was what I wanted to do. I ate a little less and worked out a little more. It might not have been the smartest move, but I wasn't starving myself. I mean, it sounds like it, but I still ate.” There was some struggle with her words, and I watch her for a moment as I collect my thoughts on how to respond. “I took what I was already doing to the extreme, I know that,” she adds.

  “You should still go to a counselor, Maddie. Talk to someone about how you feel, someone who could really help, and start being healthy again.”

  She nods, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. “I ate four donuts after Dave and my parents called,” she blurts out.

  “With chocolate icing and sprinkles?” Those were her favorite. I'm not sure why she's bringing it up though.

  Maddie nods her head again. “I haven't had one in years and after Dave called, I kind of broke down and bought some. Then I was angry and disgusted with myself that I caved, which is when I found you. I was on my way to the gym.”

  “I'm glad you ran into me then.” I reach for her hand, intertwining our fingers.

  “I missed you,” she whispers, looking down at our hands. “Do you really think I should go see someone?”

  “What do you think?” This needs to be something she wants, I think. If I say yes, then her answer will be the same.

  “Couldn't hurt, right? I doubt everyone will leave it alone unless I go anyway.” She gulps and her leg starts bouncing a little. A steady stream of air exhales from her lips.

  “It'll be fine. Promise. How about we go see that movie tonight that we saw the preview for the last time?”

  “Yeah, that sounds like fun.” She leans over to kiss me. “I do need to go this time, though. Let me know when you're picking me up.”

  “HEY, GRANT,” LUCY smiles as she takes the seat next to me in the library. She reaches over, grabbing the back of my neck, and pulls me closer. Lucy presses her lips to mine with purpose and a lot of unhidden want. She's amped things up since break, not that I'm complaining in any way. Her cheeks are flushed when she settles back into her seat.

  “Well, hello to you too,” I grin, making her laugh.

  “I figured I better get it all out now before you go live with my brothers.”

  “Are you sure you're okay with it?” She told me she was, but maybe she's changed her mind.

  “Yes, of course. Are you sure you're ready to live with the looney Kennedy brothers?” she teases with a smile.

  “As long as I have the beautiful Kennedy sister, I'll be fine.”

  Lucy blushes, but rolls her eyes. “I don't see that being a problem.”

  “Good.” After a moment, I add, “You know, there's one favor I didn't do and you haven't mentioned it.”

  She scrunches her nose up. “Wouldn't it be rude to ask how come you didn't bring me anything back? And it's not like you have to do everything I ask. I'm sure this isn't the first time you couldn't do something for me.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. “Really? When have I ever turned you down?”

  “Well, there was when...” her voice trails as she thinks. And thinks some more until her eyes widen and her lips part. “Grant Faison, why haven't you ever said no? I must be like the bossiest, neediest person ever. Why do you always help me when I ask?”

  “Because I want to and I don't mind one bit.”

  “Yeah, but it has to be annoying after a while.”

  I shake my head. “Nope. I enjoy it, but we're off track. I did bring you something back from the Bahamas.” Her eyes light up with excitement, even though she stays quiet. “I left it at my parents and they've taken forever to mail it to me. That's why you haven't gotten it yet. It should be here today, though.”

  “What is it?” she asks curiously.

  “If I tell you, that'll ruin the surprise, Lucy. You can ride with me to the house after practice, if you want.”

  “Luce.” We turn to see Patrick walking towards her. He looks anxious, which makes Lucy stand. “I need your help with something. Now.”

  “Oh, okay.” She looks down at me. “I'll catch you later, Grant.” It's hardly out of her mouth before Patrick is pulling her away.

  I swear, I don't think I'll ever get used to their relationship. It's all loyalty and dropping everything for one another without a second thought, much less a complaint. That's just one more thing to admire about her. She loves how close they are and all they do for her and with her. It's an amazing thing to see. And I wouldn't be me if I wasn't wondering what has Patrick all concerned. Knowing them, I won't ever find out either.

  “BABE, WE'RE GOING to be late for class if you don't decide soon.”

  We decided to stop by to pick up paint after her doctor appointment. Audra told me she knew what color she wanted the nursery to be painted, but we've been here for an hour now and she's changed her mind every time we go to get the color mixed. She originally said a purple and gray theme, like I'm a decorating/painting expert. But that turned into purple, blue, green, yellow, and all the shades in between.

  “What do you think?” she asks, taking a moment to look away from the pallet of colors.

  “I think that since the walls are already gray, you should decorate with purple stuff.”

  She frowns. “Are you saying that so you don't have to paint?”

  “No, that's not why. That makes the most sense to me, though.”

  Audra looks back at all the colors before nodding. “Okay, we'll do it your way. No painting, all decorating then.”

  Thank God. A decision. Hopefully, the last one. “So, we're leaving?” I ask, just to be sure.

  “Yep. Let me go to the bathroom first.” On our way to the bathroom in the front of the store, she glances at me. “We haven't talked about hockey yet, Neil.”

  “I know.” Time seems to be flying by and we've been a bit busy, so it slips our minds. Which is just a shitty way to say I've been avoiding it. “We both don't have to work tonight, so we'll talk over dinner, okay?”

  She nods. I still don't know what I want to do, and I've been hoping that I could come to my own conclusion before talking to Audra. That might not happen and maybe I need to talk to someone other than my agent to figure it out. Hopefully, Audra is that someone for me.

  “HOW BADLY ARE you guys going to miss us?” I joke. Bo, Grant, Neil, and I are all in the house, but not for much longer.

  “None,” Neil laughs. “I'll still have to deal with your asses for hockey.”

  “I'll miss ya,” Bo inputs. “At least, y'all don't cry.” Neil sends him a glare, but doesn't say anything.

  “If you get interest, are you going to sign?” Grant asks the one question we've all be wondering since we found out.

  “Yeah, what are you thinking?” I say.

  “I don't know. I've played my ass off for four years and I don't want it to be all for nothing, you know, but I have to think about Audra and the baby, too. We're supposed to discuss it tonight. Did you ever get up with Dave about Maddie?”

  I nod. “Things are looking up.”

  “Good.”

  My phone beeps with a text.

  Maddie: I haven't had a greasy burger in a while. Dinner? :)

  “I gotta go, boys. Maddie's a callin' and she wants a burger.” As I stand, Bo suggests some burger place he and the guys on the team are always raving about and I text her that I'm on my way. Maybe we'll skip the movies tonight and go eat all the things she had forbidden herself to eat. I don't know a lot about eating disorders, and she may not be suffering from one, but there is definitely something going on that needs to be worked on. There's an undeniable issue that Maddie has with food and exercising, so hopefully we can get her through it with the help of a counselor.


  She's standing outside when I pull into the dorm parking lot, and she carefully runs to my car before sliding in. “It's frrreaking cold,” she chatters.

  “Why were you waiting outside then?” I ask, turning up the heat.

  “Because I didn't think it would be that bad and by the time I decided to go back in, you were here.” She tightens her jacket around her and turns towards me.

  I lean over the console and kiss her like she's expecting. “Where do you want to go?”

  “I didn't have a place in mind. I figured you would know somewhere to go.”

  So we head across town to the restaurant that Bo suggested. Hopefully, it's as good as he said. Maddie seems quieter than usual as we wait for our food. I reach for her hand, which hasn't left her lap since we sat down. She's usually touching me in some way, but not tonight.

  “What's wrong? Thinking you should have gone with a salad?” The surprise in her eyes is a gut punch of truth. “Talk to me, Maddie,” I add softly.

  “I haven't talked to anyone about this in three years. I thought that maybe I could throw it all away like it hasn't been...”

  “A struggle?” I fill in for her. She nods. “We used to be able to talk about everything.”

  “A lot has changed,” Maddie reminds me.

  “You know what hasn't changed? My love for you. Has that changed for you?” She shakes her head. “Then get over here.”

  Maddie gets up and slides into my side of the booth. I wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer as she rests her head on my shoulder.

  “Talk to me, gorgeous,” I whisper, kissing the top of her head.

  She grabs a handful of my shirt at my side before tilting her head up at me. “Is it too late to order that salad?” I nod because I want her to try, at least. “I don't want the burger anymore.”

  “It's like a salad. There's lettuce on it,” I try, making Maddie laugh. “What if we order a small salad and have that with the burger?”

  “No, that's fine. All or nothing, right?” she says, taking a deep breath.

  “For us, yes. For this, it doesn't have to be that way.”

  Our waitress places our plates in front of us and Maddie stares at the burger. “Let's see how it goes,” she finally says, glancing at me. “And let's talk about something else.”

  We take the first bite at the same time, and I start talking about anything and everything.

  “Neil's girlfriend, Audra, moved in. She's pregnant, which is why Grant and I are moving out. Since you are my girlfriend, I expect that I won't have to hear about the 'super hot Kennedy brothers' anymore, especially now that I'm moving in with them?”

  Maddie laughs, wiping the ketchup from the corner of her mouth. “Only occasionally,” she teases. “It works out anyway, doesn't it? Because Neil graduates this year, right?”

  “Yeah, him and Bo both. I still can't get over that he's having a kid.” I shake my head at the thought.

  “Yeah,” Maddie nods in agreement. “What's the story with Bo anyway? He's single, isn't he? He seems to keep to himself. The most expression I've ever seen from him is that night at the bar when he and Neil argued and fought.”

  “As far as I know, he's single. He keeps to himself,” I shrug. “He and Neil both are private people, for the most part. I mean, look at how long it took for Neil to tell us about Audra.”

  Maddie takes a swallow of her drink, and I peek to see that her burger is almost gone. “So...” she cuts her eyes over at me, “are you and Dave friends again?”

  “I haven't heard from him since this morning. He's been pissed for a while, so he should come around soon.”

  “I think he misses you.”

  I look at her curiously. “Why do you think that?”

  “Over break, he didn't ask about you, but he didn't tell me to shut up when I was filling my parents in on you either. I tried to talk to him about how he was being ridiculous. He listened, but didn't say anything one way or the other. So yeah, I think he misses you. How could he not? You've been best friends for forever. He's just too stuck up his own ass to say anything.”

  My eyes widen as Dave appears at our table as Maddie finishes. “Well, thanks for letting me know how you really feel, little sister.” He slides into the other side of the booth.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks. “How did you find us?”

  “You weren't at your dorm and your roommate said you were out with your boyfriend. I went to the house and some guy told me where I might find y'all. You've been ignoring us all day since we called, and I was worried. I just wanted to see my sister.”

  Maddie seems stumped by his presence and his words. Can't say I blame her. They've never been close, obviously, but despite anything he's said, Dave loves his little sister. He glances between us, waiting for Maddie to say something. She pushes her plate over to him, all that's left are her untouched fries. “You can have the rest of those. I already ate a burger.”

  “Thanks. I didn't mean to crash your, uh,” he looks at me, “date.”

  “It's fine. Maddie must have missed you since she was talking about you,” I joke.

  She rolls her eyes and steals a fry from my plate. “Whatever. We were running out of things to occupy my mind.” We're quiet for a moment as we realize why she needed a distraction, so she could finish eating her burger. Maddie puts her half-eaten fry back on my plate and goes for my drink since we're waiting for the waitress to refill hers.

  “I always knew Winston was boring,” Dave says with a forced laugh.

  “Shut the hell up,” I chuckle.

  Maddie leans her head on my shoulder, officially done with food. I rest my hand on her thigh, and she immediately holds my hand. “Are you staying the night?” she asks.

  “Yeah. It's a long drive back, so I'll leave in the morning. I have a hotel not too far from here. I just...wanted to see you. If I had known that you took what I said to heart, or hell, paid me any attention, I would have never said it, Maddie. I feel terrible. I'm sorry. I never thought it would-”

  “It's okay,” Maddie interrupts. “You feel bad because you were a dick and your little sister actually listened to her brother.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “You made me pay attention to what was already there.” She takes a deep breath and looks at me. “I'm tired of talking about this. Can we go?”

  “Yeah, of course.” We've missed the movie, so we'll have to catch it another day. I wave the waitress over for the check as Maddie looks everywhere but at her brother, who seems at a loss for words. I fish my keys from my pockets and give them to her. “Go get the car warmed up.” Maddie happily takes my escape without so much of a goodbye to Dave. “I'm going to make her stay with me tonight, if it makes you feel any better,” I tell him once she's gone.

  “Would have never thought my sister going home with my best friend would make me happy.” He does looked relieved.

  “Don't worry about what she said. She barely talks to me about it, so don't be surprised that she doesn't want to talk to you.”

  “That makes me feel so much better,” he mumbles as the waitress takes my card. “Has she said anything about Mom wanting her to see a professional?”

  I nod. “I think she'll go, too.”

  Dave shakes his head. “I always worried about some ass hurting her. Never thought it would be me.”

  “Neither of us knew how much it bothered her, Dave. I mean, I knew she hated it, but I thought it was because you teased her in front of everyone, and I definitely didn't think she was that worried about her weight. We were both idiots,” I finish as I stick my card back in my wallet.

  “Do you think she'll be okay?”

  “Yeah, I do, but she needs time for that to happen. I should go.” I turn to leave, but he stops me.

  “I'm not angry anymore, if it makes a difference. I was pissed about all I didn't know, what you didn't tell me, more than anything.”

  “Yeah, I figured that was it. You've always been needy that way.”
r />   He laughs. “Shut the hell up and go take care of my sister.”

  I ALMOST THOUGHT Lucy was going to bail on me after Patrick came for her at the library. She canceled our run, so I thought for sure she would. But she texted me saying that we were still on. The package with all I brought back for her is in my back seat. She's walking out of the building as I park.

  “What are you doing?” I ask when she climbs into the back seat.

  “Leave the truck running and get back here with me,” she answers, looking curiously at the box. I move into the back, placing the box in my lap. “We don't have to go anywhere.” Lucy slides over to me and sinks into me. “I missed you,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around me.

  “Everything okay, Lucy?” Last time she hugged me like this, she had disappeared for a few days after staying with me and having Patrick come get her.

  “Yeah, still thinking about why Patrick came for me.” She looks like she's unsure if she wants to share it with me or not. Lucy takes a breath and decides to fill me in. “You know that Corey can't play anymore, right? He's been having a hard time dealing with it, more than we thought, and we had to go see him. Well, more than I thought. Patrick and Jon knew. They are always so strong for me, it bothers me when I see any of them struggle. It made me not want to waste time going somewhere before I could do this.” She briefly squeezes her hold on me, lifting her head to look at me. I lean down to gently kiss her, wanting to make her feel better. When I pull away, she smiles, her cheeks starting to blush.

  “Do you want to talk more about it?”

  “Not tonight,” she answers.

  “Well, here,” I say, releasing her to place the box in her lap. “Open it.”

  Lucy wastes no time, but her hands still as she sees everything in the box. Staring at the contents, she mumbles, “Something means one thing, Grant.”

  “I couldn't decide and every time I saw something that I wanted you to have, I couldn't resist.”