What He Needs

by E. M. Denning

  Craig dropped his gaze to the floor. “I know he cheated on me, Ev. It’s okay. Can you just finish the story?”

  Everett nodded and plunged into the rest of the tale. “By the time Tim left you Paul had him convinced that you didn’t care about him because you never seemed to mind all the time he wasn’t spending with you. He had Tim convinced that he’d be happier without you. Tim was clearly a verse, and you’re all bottom,” Everett’s cheeks flushed, and he looked at Alan uneasily. “He was convinced that the two of you would never work out and that a clean break was what was best for you. He collared Tim and moved him into his house. He convinced Tim to quit his job because you could track him down there and he didn’t want you making Tim feel bad. It went downhill from there.”

  “How bad?” Craig asked. Alan hated the thin, dejected tone of Craig’s voice.

  “Paul convinced him that he didn’t have to find another job. He told Tim he’d take care of him. By the time Tim realized that Paul had stripped all his freedom away, he thought it was too late. He had no friends left. He had nowhere to go.”

  “How did he find out where I live?”

  “He wouldn’t tell me.”

  Alan felt Craig stiffen at his side. “I think I need to talk to Tim.”

  Craig stormed into Everett’s apartment. He held onto Alan’s hand the whole time. Alan loved that Craig needed him. It gave him hope that Craig wasn’t about to leave him for a man who, for whatever reason, was so quick to cast him aside, even if he was manipulated into doing so. Alan couldn’t imagine a world in which he’d willingly give Craig up.

  They stood across the room from Tim, who still sat in the recliner. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his face was turning a grotesque shade of purple around his eye.

  Craig wasted no time jumping into his line of questioning. “How did you know where I lived? Why did you come here? Why were you at my job?”

  Tim looked up at Craig and Alan saw how empty and sad and broken the man was. “I didn’t know what I was getting into until it was too late. I knew where you lived because I looked for you. I looked for you and you moved. I had to ask around, but eventually I found out that you moved into this building.” Tim shrugged. “Your name is on the intercom at the main doors. That’s how I found your apartment number. I slipped in when another tenant opened the doors.”

  Craig gripped Alan’s hand tighter. “Why did you come here? I don’t get it. You fucking vanished. Then I see you in the club and suddenly you’re desperate to find me.”

  Tim’s eyes started to water, and he swiped at the tears. “Paul was mad about that. He was mad that you got him in trouble at the club. He was embarrassed…and I made it worse. I always thought he was right. That you were okay with how things went down with us. That it was better. But then I saw you in the club and I saw how much I hurt you. I was angry. I came here to try and talk to you, to explain what happened. I don’t blame you for not listening, but I was mad. I was mad about everything. I called him out for manipulating me.”

  “Was that all he was mad about?” Alan raised an eyebrow. He didn’t know Tim at all, but he sensed that there was something he was leaving out.

  Tim swallowed and shook his head.

  “What else was he mad about, Tim?” Craig asked, his voice barely audible.

  Tim looked at the floor. “When I saw you at the club…he knew. He saw it written all over my face.”

  “Saw what?” Alan asked the question he knew Craig was too afraid to. It wasn’t like Alan didn’t know the answer. Any fool could see that Tim was still in love with Craig. It was written all over his face. It was apparent in the way he carried himself, so full of regret and shame and self hatred, that Tim still carried a torch for the man he’d wronged.

  Then Tim opened his mouth and Alan’s worst nightmare came true.

  “He knew I was still in love with you.”

  There was dead silence for a moment, then Craig let out a shaky breath. “Call your brother. You can stay here with Everett until he comes and gets you, or you can stay in my apartment and I’ll stay with Alan. I think, given the circumstances, that it’s best if you leave town. Go stay with your family, they’ll support you and help you through this. I can’t, I won’t, and I don’t want to.”

  Tim flinched as if he’d been slapped.

  “You left me for whatever reason, I don’t even care anymore. I’ll help you get away from Paul because he’s bad news, but that’s it. I’m not your shoulder to lean on. I’m not the light at the end of your tunnel. I’m just a guy you used to know who is doing you one last favor.” Craig looked at Alan. “Can we go? I need…I can’t be here anymore.”

  Alan nodded. Even though Craig had laid down the law with Tim and outright rejected him, it hardly felt like a victory. Once they were out in the hallway, Craig looked up at Alan. “You don’t mind if I stay with you, do you?”

  Alan wrapped his arm around Craig’s shoulders. He wanted to wrap Craig up in his arms and hold him until the intense unease fled his body. “Let’s pack you a bag. You can stay for as long as you need to.” He wanted to tell Craig that he could stay with him forever if he chose to, but now wasn’t the moment for grand declarations of love. That would come later, because Alan was going to tell Craig how he felt about him.

  From the moment he’d first laid eyes on Craig, he was struck. Then he touched him, held him, and talked to him. The more he was around Craig the more he realized that he didn’t want to let him go. He loved him. Alan knew that with the sale of the club looming on the horizon, that his future was a little uncertain, but he’d do anything he could to make sure Craig was in it.

  Craig was subdued as he packed a bag. Alan stayed close, but didn’t press him for conversation. They stopped by Everett’s quickly to thank him for helping Tim. Alan watched as Everett wrapped his gangly arms around Craig and pulled him into a hug. Everett whispered something in Craig’s ear, then patted him on the back. He looked at Alan and nodded, then disappeared back into his apartment.

  Alan led Craig to his car. Craig reached out and put his hand on Alan’s thigh, but stayed quiet. Alan guessed that Craig was going to need some time and space to process everything he’d learned. His relationship with Tim might’ve been doomed, but the manipulation from Paul was a revelation of sorts and Alan wondered how Craig would handle it.

  Craig thumped his head against the headrest. “I have to work tomorrow.”

  Alan glanced at Craig. “Why don’t you take some time off? You can stay with me.”

  “I don’t want to be your tag-a-long while you work at the club. I’ll feel pathetic.”

  “I’ll work from home. What I can’t do from home, I can delegate.”

  A minute later Craig was on the phone with his Uncle. “Yeah, uh, Uncle Hank,” Craig exhaled a shaky breath. “I need time off. Yeah, uh, Tim showed up. No. Of course not.” Absolute disgust filled Craig’s voice. “I’m staying with Alan for a couple of days.” Pause. “I promise to fill you in later.” Pause. “Yeah, he will, don’t worry.”

  Another pause made Alan wish he could hear both sides of the conversation.

  “Yeah, we can do that.” Craig looked at Alan. “Uncle Hank wants to have dinner with us in a few days.” Craig pressed the phone against his chest so his uncle wouldn’t be able to hear. “He’s worried about me.”

  “It’s no problem, Craig.”

  Craig nodded then put the phone back to his ear. “I’ll call you in a few days and we’ll set something up, okay.” Craig exhaled and leaned against the headrest and closed his eyes. “I will Uncle Hank. You too.” Craig ended the call and dropped his hands into his lap. He kept his eyes shut and Alan took that as a sign that he needed a few minutes of quiet.

  They didn’t speak again until Craig walked through Alan’s front door. Craig shifted his bag from one hand to the other and toed his shoes off before looking at Alan. “I’m going to head upstairs, if that’s okay.”

  Alan resisted the urge to wr
ap his arms around Craig. He wanted to touch him, soothe him, and make it all better. Instead, Alan nodded. “Put your stuff in my room and make yourself at home. I’ll be up in a little while to check on you, okay?”

  Craig nodded. Alan thought he was going to walk away, but Craig came closer. He put his free hand on Alan’s shoulder, then rose and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  Alan followed him to the stairs and watched Craig as he climbed them. He hated to see Craig like this. Alan shook his head and wandered into the kitchen. He tried to stop his imagination from working overtime, but even as he put the kettle on to boil water for hot chocolate, he couldn’t stop thinking about Craig. The night he met him, he knew Craig had some sort of history with Tim or Paul, but he didn’t know what. Now that he knew the whole truth, Alan couldn’t stop picturing Craig and how ruined he must’ve been when Tim left.

  When Alan met Craig there had been a sadness in his eyes, likely the lingering effects of Tim’s betrayal. Slowly, as he got to know Craig, it seemed to ease. It hadn’t totally vanished yet, and that bothered Alan. More than anything he wanted to make Craig happy. He wanted to chase the shadows out of his eyes.

  Alan’s hand shook a little as he stirred the cup of cocoa for Craig. He wasn’t sure how to proceed. He could bring Craig a cup of hot chocolate and suggest they watch a movie. He could see if Craig wanted him to order dinner or if he felt up to cooking with Alan. They’d both enjoyed the time they spent together in the kitchen. Alan wasn’t used to feeling so helpless. With an ache in his heart, Alan carried the cocoa upstairs.

  He almost walked into his bedroom unannounced, but stopped at the last moment and knocked. “Craig. I’m coming in, okay.”

  There was no response. Alan sighed and pushed the door open.

  “I brought some hot chocolate.” Alan heard his voice trail off when he spotted Craig.

  Craig. Naked and kneeling. His arms were clasped behind his back. His head was bowed. Alan’s inner Dom instantly woke up and everything clicked into place. His boy needed something that only his Daddy could give him. Alan set the cup on the dresser and let himself stare at Craig—his boy—for a minute.

  Alan’s throat tightened, his pulse raced, and his dick hardened in his pants. He adjusted himself as he raked his gaze down the graceful curve of Craig’s spine. He loved his perfect ass, round and firm Alan’s cock twitched when he wondered how tight Craig would be.

  Alan walked in a slow circle around Craig. He kept his hands to himself for now as he gathered his control. His boy was so beautiful. There was an air of calm that Craig hadn’t had downstairs. He was calmer, but Alan saw the tension in his neck and shoulders. He saw the way Craig had to force himself to breathe evenly.

  Alan reached out and brushed his fingers through Craig’s hair. “Tell me what you need, boy.”

  Craig’s shoulders dropped a little as some of the tension in his muscles fled. “I need you, Daddy.”

  Alan smiled a little even though he really wanted to lift Craig into his arms and kiss him senseless. There would be time for that later. Instead, Alan let his fingers slide over Craig’s scalp. He relished the way his boy shivered a little. “You need me, Little One?”

  “Yes, Daddy.” Craig’s voice was soft and steady. Without being prompted to, Craig lifted his gaze to find Alan’s. Where Alan expected to see the familiar shadows of sadness, he saw only adoration. He expected to hear hesitant words, but instead was floored by conviction. “I need you. I need you to make me yours, Daddy. I’ve wanted to belong to you since that first night.”

  Alan could scarcely breathe. He’d been so unsure of himself where Craig was concerned that he’d held back. He hadn’t wanted to push too hard too soon despite his urge to own him completely, and here was Craig; kneeling and begging for the very thing Alan wanted most.

  Alan smiled down at Craig and cupped his cheek. He let his thumb glide over Craig’s cheekbone. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away and crossed the room. Despite telling himself that he hadn’t expected to use this any time soon, he’d still bought it just in case. Alan wanted to laugh at his own ignorance. Now was the time for absolute honesty. He’d wanted this from the moment Craig went to his knees.

  He opened the top drawer of his dresser and opened a box that he’d stashed inside. He retrieved the contents and went back to Craig. He kept the item behind his back so Craig couldn’t see it.

  Alan stroked the curve of Craig’s jaw with his fingertips. “You are mine. The minute you knelt, we connected. From that first touch, I was hooked. You’re mine and I’m not ever going to let you go.” Alan showed Craig the item he’d hidden behind his back and Craig’s eyes widened.

  “Is that?” Craig swallowed. Anticipation flickered in his eyes and Alan didn’t hide his smile.

  “Yes, Little One. It is, and I got it especially for you. I’m going to be completely honest with you.” Alan’s fingers slid over the smooth black leather of the collar and he unfastened the buckle. “This is a collar and I want you to wear it. I want to be your Daddy. I want to own you and use you and fuck you until you’re boneless. But I’m greedy, because I also want to be your lover. I want to hold you and caress you and make love to you. I’m selfish and I want you all to myself. I want to cook dinner with you, watch movies with you, travel with you. I want to be your Daddy, your lover, and your boyfriend. I want to be your everything, Craig.” Alan held his breath and the world seemed to stop spinning for a moment. Maybe it faded away completely because there was only Alan and Craig. Alan took a breath. “Will you be my everything, Little One?”

  “Yes, Daddy.” Those words were the single most glorious sounds that Alan had ever heard.

  Alan bent and buckled the collar around Craig’s neck. He didn’t miss the way Craig’s Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, or the little hitch in his breath when Alan’s fingers skimmed across his throat and up to his chin. He tipped Craig’s head up. God, he was perfect. His full lips, parted so he could pant, though he was almost breathless at that point. Lust-filled eyes framed by dark lashes stared up at him.

  Unable to resist him, Alan captured Craig’s mouth. With a little moan that sounded a lot like relief and consuming desire all wrapped up in one tiny package, Craig submitted to Alan as he parted his lips and slid his tongue into Craig’s mouth.

  Their kiss was all softness with an undercurrent of scorching heat and barely controlled need. Alan needed Craig like he needed air. He needed to own him and consume him and control him in a way that he hadn’t needed anyone in a long time. Craig was wearing his collar and it was the most glorious sight in the world and Alan was going to show him what it meant to belong to him completely.

  Alan straightened his back, rolled his shoulders, and his Dom voice rolled out, smooth as silk and firm like steel. “Stand up, Sweetheart.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Craig

  Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit. YES! Craig tried to stop his mind from going a million miles an hour, but between Alan’s words, the feel of the smooth leather around his throat, and that soul-destroying kiss, Craig was already about to blow apart at the seams. Then Alan whipped out his Daddy voice and Craig nearly came on the spot.

  As graceful as he could manage, he got to his feet. He knew he should look down, but he wasn’t able to take his eyes off Alan. His Dom. His Daddy. No, not just that. Alan was his everything and he was perfect. From the crows feet at the corner of his eyes down to the fuzzy patch of hair on his chest. There wasn’t an inch of the man that Craig didn’t appreciate the fuck out of.

  “Climb onto the bed. Kneel in the center.”

  Craig didn’t trust himself to speak. His entire body was pulled tight with anticipation. He hurried over to the bed. Fuck being graceful, he wasn’t showing off for anyone and Alan’s dark chuckle indicated that he enjoyed Craig’s enthusiasm. He knelt in the center of the bed and waited. And waited. Behind him he heard noises and he nearly turned around to see what Alan was doing, but he stopped himself. He
wanted to please Alan. He wanted to be perfect for him.

  Craig closed his eyes and did his best to be patient.

  “Lean forward. Put your cheek on the mattress. Ass in the air.”

  God his voice sounded good. There was a ferocious intensity that Craig hadn’t ever heard from Alan. His cock liked it. Slowly, obediently, Craig lowered himself until his cheek was pressed against the mattress. He took a deep breath and it shuddered out of him when Alan reached over and arranged his arms so they were stretched out down his sides.

  Cold leather wrapped around one wrist. Then the other. “Do you remember your safe word, Little One?”

  Craig didn’t recognize his own voice when he spoke. He sounded so far gone already, so breathy and thin, yet wound so tight and Alan hadn’t even done anything yet. “Red, Daddy.”

  Alan smoothed his hand over Craig’s back. He caressed the curve of his ass. “Good Boy.” Then Alan’s touch was gone. Without it, Craig felt naked…well, metaphorically naked. He was already literally naked except for his collar and the cuffs Alan had put around his wrists. Alan put cuffs around Craig’s thighs then secured them to the cuffs around his wrists. The position he was in was a little humiliating, but his dick had no complaints. With his arms at his sides secured to his thighs, his face down, ass up, legs spread, Alan had full access. Craig bit back a moan.

  For a few minutes, Alan seemed content to pet him. He stroked his hands over every exposed inch of Craig’s body. Powerful hands caressed every curve, every muscle down his back. His fingertips grazed over every vertebra then the crease of his ass as Alan caressed it. He kept telling Craig how perfect he was. How beautiful he looked. Craig’s chest tightened with every ounce of praise.

  He’d wanted to be those things for Alan. He wanted to be them so bad he ached. He was tired of trying and failing and never being enough for anyone. But here, on Alan’s bed, with the comfort of his collar around his neck, the feel of Alan’s hands on him, and the sound of his voice singing Craig’s praises over and over, Craig believed everything Alan was saying.