Go Big

by Joanna Blake

  Breaking her heart could wait.

  Even though I wanted her for myself, I dreaded doing it.

  I got up for another beer and noticed the time. I got some cheese and crackers out of the fridge and brought them over to her. She smiled gratefully.

  “Sorry, I should have offered to feed you.”

  I shrugged.

  “I’m used to looking after myself.”

  She looked at me then, regret in her beautiful eyes. She knew, like everyone else in town, that my mother had been MIA most of my childhood. The nights anyway. She had eventually run off with a trucker who’d picked her up at a bar on his way through town. I never knew my father. In the end, my grandmother had raised me. She was the opposite of my mother, a real religious zealot.

  She wasn’t cruel exactly. But she wasn’t kind. And we didn’t see eye to eye on, well, anything.

  It hadn’t been easy but I’d managed to escape the old woman most of the time. That meant walking the fine line between being under her thumb and having the neighbors call the police because I was running wild.

  I’d learned early how to get by. It wasn’t the idyllic childhood some people had had. But I didn’t want her to look at me like that.

  I didn’t like the pity in her eyes.

  Fuck it. Now or never.

  “Still upholding that chastity vow?”

  She bristled adorably. Even enraged, there was something cuddly about her. Maybe I was insane. Probably.

  At any rate, she was fired up.

  “That’s none of your business, Chan.”

  “You are my business.”

  She threw me another angry glance. This time though, there was something else in the look. Almost as if she knew I was right.

  Knew it in her bones.

  “Chan, stop being silly.”

  “Tell me this Caro. A man like that. All those nights he leaves you to go to bed alone. What do you think he does?”

  She looked at me. I could see the fear in her eyes. Then she tossed her head and her gorgeous blond hair went tumbling everywhere.

  “Whatever men do, to… um… relieve themselves.”

  I laughed.

  “Relieve themselves?”

  “You know.”

  I leaned back, letting my thighs spread. I looked at her.

  “Whack off? Churn one out? Shake hands with Mr. Pink?”

  She laughed and threw one of the fake apples at me. Her cheeks were pink.

  God, I loved making this woman blush.

  There it was. That fucking word again.

  Love.

  “Stop it Chan!”

  I stood up and grabbed her, lifting her out of her chair. I pulled her against me. She was too shocked to move at first, but I knew I had less than a minute before she slapped me.

  Again.

  “No, I will not stop. I know where he goes. He goes to the clubs. The strip clubs. He has women. He’s known for being rough. For hurting them.”

  Her mouth opened as she stared at me aghast. She shoved me away and headed for the door. I tried not to stare at her sweet little ass while she did.

  Resistance was futile. I stared. Why the hell not?

  “That’s a horrible thing to say. I think… I think you should leave.”

  “Princess… you know I’m telling the truth.”

  “No, I don’t!”

  I followed her toward the corner, boxing her in. She turned to face me, her eyes bright with tears. I reached out and brushed her hair away.

  “Why would I lie?”

  She laughed bitterly.

  “To get what you want!”

  I smiled at her and stepped closer until our bodies were nearly touching. It took every fiber of my being not to pull her into my arms.

  “Yes, I want you. But I wouldn’t lie to you Princess. Ever.”

  Now she did laugh.

  “We both know that’s not true.”

  “What part?”

  She stared at me, anger all over her face.

  “That you wouldn’t lie. That you didn’t already lie to me once to get what you wanted. That you really want anything other than to stroke your own ego!”

  She tried to brush past me but I put my arms out, holding her in place.

  “I have never lied to you and I never will. I might be the scum of the Earth to someone like you, but I’m not a liar!”

  Her eyes opened even wider. I thought I was getting through to her. Fuck it, I didn’t really care anymore.

  I just wanted her in my arms.

  Now.

  With a groan I pulled her against me. She didn’t fight me, like I was afraid she might. No, she melted.

  Right. Into. Me.

  Hmmffff…

  The way she felt in my arms… tasted… her lips were so soft and plump, her breasts heavenly as they mashed against my chest. I’d never held anything so precious in my arms before.

  Except for the brief moments I’d held her before.

  This was not going to be brief.

  Not if I had anything to say about it.

  Carolina

  I was warm, floating, as if I was in the ocean. The water held me up, supporting me.

  No, not the water. It was Chan.

  It had always been Chan.

  I whimpered, feeling his hands as they touched me. He wasn’t grabbing or taunting. He wasn’t cocky for once in his life.

  He was hungry.

  Reverent.

  I felt like glass in his hands. Fragile. Precious.

  I felt like diamonds.

  He made me feel like I was a treasure. Not something he could just take. Something he had to earn.

  And the way he was kissing me, I almost hoped he could.

  He pressed me back until I was flat against the wall. Then he grabbed one leg and lifted it. We both groaned as he pressed himself against me.

  We were one.

  Almost.

  His hand slid up to my breast. I felt like cold water had been poured over me.

  No. Hot water.

  I felt so hot…

  This was wrong. So, so wrong.

  No matter how badly I wanted it.

  How badly I wanted him.

  “Stop it Chan!”

  I tore away from him. He let me go. Both of us were breathing heavily, staring at each other.

  “What’s the matter, Princess?”

  “You know what’s the matter.”

  He grunted and ground his hips into mine one more time. I felt my body respond. Again.

  How could I be so predictable? I was just like all those other girls who’d fallen at his feet. It had just taken a little bit longer.

  I ran my hands through my hair, trying to shake off the kiss. Make light of it. Make a joke.

  That’s what Chan would do. In fact, I was surprised he wasn’t cracking jokes already. But he looked serious. Angry almost.

  “I never did have good judgement when it came to you.”

  Then he smiled. His grin was cheeky as he stepped forward. I held my ground. We were face to face again as he lifted my hand, bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss.

  Tingles spread deliciously through my body.

  “Why start now?”

  “I’m serious Chan! I’m not some girl you can have your fun with!”

  His thumb grazed my lip. He looked like he wanted to eat me. Maybe he did.

  “I know that.”

  “Please, you have to stay away from me. Every time we are together, something bad happens.”

  “You call this bad?”

  He grinned, pulling me against him raging hard on. It felt so big. Unnatural almost. I’d never felt anything so… carnal. Or explicit.

  Chan was all man, that much was certain. But I wasn’t his to use this way. I pushed him away.

  “I’m serious Chan! I’m getting married. I care about you. More than I should. But… I can’t see you again.”

  He grabbed my arms and held me perfectly still. His face was harsh
as he leaned towards me. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he just looked at me with a sort of desperation that frightened me.

  “You would have to kill me to get me to stay away from you, Princess.”

  His hands squeezed me. Too hard. It hurt.

  “Let me go Chan!”

  “I can’t! Don’t you see that I can’t?”

  His mouth crashed down on mine again. It wasn’t a loving kiss. Or even a sensual one.

  This was a kiss of pure possession.

  He wanted to own me.

  In that moment, he did own me.

  We both knew it too.

  I gasped as he released me and stalked to the door. Before he left he looked back at me, his blue eyes cold as ice.

  “It’s not just because I want you. It’s because you are in danger. But either way, you are going to be mine.”

  I stood there, holding my arms where he’d grabbed me. I must have stood there for an hour. My mind was spinning and my body was crying out for him to come back.

  To come back and finish what he’d started.

  He’d seemed so sure that what he said was true. But it couldn’t be. Could it?

  Trouble was, I was starting to believe him.

  Chapter Eight

  Chandler

  I paced back and forth outside the Peach Pussycat. I was worried this wasn’t going to work. I had been driving myself crazy since I’d left Caro’s last night. The thought of her. The way she’d felt in my arms.

  I never wanted to let her go.

  That scared me. But not as much as the thought of losing her.

  Of her being hurt.

  I couldn’t let that happen.

  I’d drank myself to sleep and woken up at dawn, still in a state of panic. I’d spent the day wracking my brain for ideas. Now, I was waiting for Joss.

  Joss was late.

  I was about to call him when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

  Joss was walking out of the club with someone. He looked upset. Even with his sunglasses on.

  A blond was standing beside him. She was short and curvy with a button nose and dark sunglasses. A cute little thing who looked a whole hell of a lot like Caro. Pretty, young, sweet.

  But her posture implied something else. She was hunched forward, as if trying to make herself smaller. I recognized that look.

  She’d been broken. Beaten. I could see bruises on her delicate arms. Her lip was swollen and healing.

  I had a terrible feeling that this girl had been taking whatever Max had planned for my girl.

  My beautiful, perfect Carolina.

  “This is January.”

  “Hi. I’m Chan.”

  She smiled and nodded.

  “Candy Man. I know who you are.”

  She glanced at Joss. He nodded. Slowly, she pulled off her sunglasses.

  Her right eye was black and blue.

  “Let’s go somewhere to talk.”

  She nodded and we walked towards the beach.

  “How long has this been going on?”

  She shrugged, her slender shoulders rising gracefully.

  “On and off for a year. It’s not just me. There were others before me too.”

  We stopped and Joss bought us all coffees. She looked at me from behind those giant sunglasses.

  “At first, he’s so charming. Then he gets mad, once, twice…”

  Joss handed her a coffee and we started walking again. The walking seemed to help the words flow. She kept glancing behind her, as if she were afraid she was being followed.

  “It seems almost normal at first. That he would get rough. He’s so powerful and the kind of business he’s in, violence is normal. But after a while you realize he needs it. To… you know.”

  I exhaled sharply. He was a sadist apparently. It didn’t surprise me. It scared the hell out of me though.

  That didn’t sound like something he could leave at the door when he came home to his darling wife.

  There was no way in hell I was letting that creep lay a hand on Caro. Over my dead body. I had a feeling it might actually come to that.

  So be it.

  “There are other girls. Every time a new girls starts that’s his type… we know what’s coming. I tried to warn one of them. That earned me a beating. Now I just keep my mouth shut.”

  “His type?”

  “Blond. Innocent looking. Small.”

  I finally understood what people meant when they said their blood curdled.

  “What can we do for you?”

  I looked at Joss. I hadn’t even thought of that. I was so focused on Caro and getting what I wanted. He was right. We had to help her.

  “I think I should… leave.”

  “Do you have someplace to go?”

  She shook her head.

  “My family is… well, they know about all this. They aren’t happy with me.”

  “Joss, what about your friend in LA?”

  “Trent?”

  I nodded. Even behind her sunglasses, January looked hopeful.

  “I will ask him. Give me a second.”

  Joss had a military buddy out West. I’d met him once or twice. Good guy.

  I sat on a bench with January as he made the call. In just a few minutes he was back.

  “He’ll do it. We just have to get her to LAX.”

  “He doesn’t mind? I can’t pay him.”

  Joss shook his head and laughed.

  “No. He doesn’t mind. He’s rich as fuck. I hope you don’t mind living in the guest house of someone who works in the porn industry.”

  January shook her head.

  “How could I mind that?”

  Joss sat down beside her.

  “He won’t expect anything either. He has women falling all over him. Just don’t fall in love with him. All the women I’ve introduced him to, seem to do that.”

  She smiled.

  “I won’t, I promise.”

  He smiled. Joss rarely smiled. That was a good thing.

  “He really is a good guy. Just think of him as an older brother. He has a thing for protecting women. But he’s not the settling down type.”

  She nodded.

  “Let’s get you packed.”

  “Okay, thanks.”

  She turned to look at us, pulling her glasses off again.

  “I mean it. Thank you. It’s so rare to see guys who want to help someone like me.”

  I followed them back to the club and drove behind them to January’s place.

  I needed to get her to talk to Caro. But it wasn’t safe for January here. Time was of the essence.

  The phone would have to do.

  We helped her pack her meager belongings. She threw all of her stripper gear into the trash. She looked almost happy when she told us how that part of her life was over. For good. Joss took a box he promised to send along after. I drove her to the airport and bought her ticket.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to. I just- if I need you to talk to my girl, will you?”

  She nodded.

  “She’s the one who looks like me?”

  I smiled.

  “Two prettiest girls I’ve seen in my life.”

  She smiled then. It was the first time I could see how young and pretty she was. When she got clear of this, she would be again. I waited until she was through security before I drove back to town to meet Joss.

  We had work to do.

  Carolina

  “My love.”

  I smiled at Max’s handsome face as he bent to kiss me. A quick warm press of his lips and he was gone. I’d hope to feel an overwhelming spark. The kind that Chan seemed to create without even trying.

  But there was nothing.

  “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to spend the week before our wedding apart?”

  It was true. I was nothing if not traditional. I had thought it was romantic. But now it seemed like the past few days had driven a wedge between us.


  He led me over to his enormous leather sectional. I grimaced. As a vegetarian, I wasn’t very comfortable sitting on a piece of furniture made out of what looked like 50 dead animals.

  Max knew that.

  He didn’t seem in a hurry to do anything about it though.

  So when I sat on his couch, I was never really relaxed.

  But… maybe that wasn’t the only reason I felt that way.

  “I wasn’t expecting you but I can have Margreet cook something up…”

  I shook my head. I hated putting his servants out. It was another thing I wasn’t sure how I would get used to.

  My mother had raised me to cook and clean my own house. I knew how to bake, broil, sew and mend. It was a point of pride.

  But here, all of that would be useless.

  He slid his arm around my shoulders, rubbing them lightly. Usually I found his touch soothing. This time I had to stifle the urge to scoot away.

  “You are tense, Carolina. What is troubling you?”

  His accent had always seemed charming. Urbane. Romantic.

  Right now it sounded like the accent of a villain in a super spy movie. I almost expected him to push a button and reveal a tank full of sharks beneath our feet.

  For the first time ever, I didn’t feel safe with him.

  “I’ve been thinking…. I think we should postpone the ceremony. I’m so busy with school and Gran hasn’t been well. I want her to be here with us.”

  His hands stilled. Then he began rubbing me again.

  “Is this really about your grandmother Carolina? Or are you afraid to complete our bargain?”

  His hands gripped me firmly. This time I did try to move away. But he was too strong. His face was still smiling but his eyes were different.

  Cold. Reptilian. I felt repulsed as he touched me with his clammy hands.

  “Do you know how long I have waited to possess you? I’ve honored your wishes because of your religious beliefs. But that time is at an end. If you are reneging…”

  “That’s not it. Truly!”

  “My love… if you are having second thoughts you can tell me. I will do my best to put your mind at ease.”

  He leaned forward to kiss my temple.

  His hands moved from my shoulders to my throat, circling it suddenly.

  I almost didn’t hear the words he whispered softly against my hair.