True Control 4.2: A Dark Romance (True Series Book 5)

by Madison, Willow

  But he doesn’t hit me. “The lesson you need to learn, girl. What is it?”

  I open and close my mouth a few times. This is torture. Exposed like this, knowing he’s staring at me. Knowing that he knows that I’m just waiting for him to spank me. That I’ll stay in this position until he does. Well, no.

  I push myself up, onto my knees, turning to look at him. Arms crossed over my chest. “Why don’t you just tell me what it is you want, Jake?”

  And he smiles. Damn him! He even laughs a little. “Are you trying to make me angry, Lucy? Is that what you think will work here?” But it does work, his face changes quickly to his stern stony glare and he steps closer to me. I lose my nerve and drop my arms to my sides, but stay on my knees, meeting his eyes at least.

  “I know what you’re used to, girl. I know what’s going on in your little girl head.” He grabs me by my hair again, yanking even harder and pulling me off balance. “You think the only way you can submit to me is if you make me angry?” His pull on my head is causing my eyes to water and I’m gasping, but I stop myself from trying to pull away from him. He shakes me with each word again, rattling my teeth, “You think the only way I’m going to demand your obedience is with anger?” He lets go of my head and shoves me away. I fall back down onto my hands and he barks the order, “Stay.”

  I do. I’m shaken and frightened. I have no idea what he’ll do. He’s confused everything, my head and body shouting to run, to stay. I blink my tears, sniffling, hiding behind my hair again. My head throbs from his touch.

  I can hear him breathing heavily behind me. When he speaks, his voice is controlled, even, darkly edged. “The lesson you need to learn is that I’m not Max.” I shoot him a hard look. How dare he bring up Max now, when I’m like this! I start to sit up again, but stop at the cold, calmness of his voice. “If you move again, girl, I will tie you to that bed.”

  I relax back onto my hands slowly. When he continues, I can hear the need in him. Anger mixed with passion and longing. It mirrors my own. “Your heart belonged to him first…maybe always will. I know I can only hope for a small piece to belong to me. But that’s enough. Loving you, like this; having you, like this…it’s enough for me.”

  “You love me?” My voice is tiny, I don’t want him to hear my own need. I don’t want to admit how desperate I am for him.

  “Yes…with all of my heart, Lucy.” But it’s a cold, calm response. I resist turning to see his face.

  “But you don’t want all of mine?”

  “I didn’t say that…I said I know that Max will always be a part of you.” He moves towards me again, reaching with his hand under me, shocking me by his warmth and gentle touch. “That this baby will always have a part of you too. But this part,” he moves his hand down between my legs and I push towards his fingers, moaning before I can stop myself. “I won’t share. This part belongs to me now. I won’t have you thinking of him when I touch you. I won’t have you thinking of him when I’m inside you. I won’t have you thinking of him when you’re with me ever again.” I moan at the deep pressing of his fingers. “You are mine now, Lucy…I’ll let you keep a part to yourself…but the rest...you belong to me.”

  I nod, my hair whipping the sheets. I turn my head and smile a little, “I do belong to you now. And I love you, too.” I moan at the release of his hand. He steps back again.

  “Then show me what a good girl you want to be for me. Ask for what you know you deserve.”

  I swallow and breathe for a moment. I push thoughts of Max out of my head and concentrate instead on my fingers on the bed. On the feel of the sheets under me. On Jake’s breathing near me. I raise my head a little, but close my eyes. My voice is extra high and small, “I...I deserve a spanking. Please?”

  And he laughs at me! I turn my head to see him smiling and shaking his head. “That’s not the best you can do, girl. Try again. Start with why you deserve to be punished.”

  I have to swallow the anger I felt at his laughter for a moment, but it makes my voice a little stronger. “I didn’t obey your order, so I deserve to be spanked. Sir!” It’s a petulant response. He just brings this out in me! Especially since he’s laughing at me again.

  “And now you can add being bratty to your list of reasons. I’ll give you one more chance to get this right.” His voice lowers even more, sending chills down my spine, “Get it wrong this time and I’ll get out a thicker belt to use.”

  I swallow at this thought. I don’t think Jake would ever hurt me as much as…I stop myself. I swallow again. “I’m sorry.” I have to breathe a little more to get over the need to cry again. I know he doesn’t want that. And I know he’s right. I have to decide for myself. To be here, to be with him, like this. I love him. I’ve known this for a while. And loving him means I have to let go…I have to be free of the hold Max has on me…

  I have a clear mental image of myself right now. The humiliating position, the lack of any place to hide, the openness to Jake physically. I trust him enough to be here like this. I take a deep breath and picture a collar on my neck, with a chain attached. I mentally place the chain in Jake’s hands. I smile a little…not that I want that exactly…well…maybe…

  I try for a calm, clear voice, my smile still evident, “I…I hesitated following your orders…and I’ve been disrespectful.”

  He sighs, “Good girl.”

  I turn my head back and wipe my hair away from my face quickly to see him clearly. He’s smiling at me. A sweet, full smile. The kind I know I will long for every day of my life. The kind I know I will have with him every day too. I know I’ll do anything to please him, to earn his smiles, to feel this again.

  I’m sore and my arms are getting tired. My eyes burn with tears and I’m afraid of what he’ll do to me. But I want more. I want him, more from him. I need this from him. I want to give myself to him…the only way I know how…completely.

  “I need to please you, Jake …Please punish me…make me yours completely…always.”

  Chapter 42 HIM

  I flick the belt in my hand, feeling the light weight. With her eyes still watching me, I smile and give her the first real whip with the belt. I like the sound, the crack, her ass wiggles and moves for me. Her cry catches in her throat. And most important. I can see the clear red line across her cheeks.

  I’m not going to be able to ignore my hard cock for long now.

  I crack the belt against her cheeks again in almost the same spot, where her ass meets her legs. Her cry is louder. “I said be quiet, girl. If you can’t hold your cry, then tell me you need to be gagged.” I smile at this thought. Picturing her mouth stretched open.

  She whimpers and shakes her head, “No, Sir…please!”

  Damn. She makes it hard to keep going. But that only makes me hit her harder, same spot. She held her breath, pushing it out with a loud pop and long hiss. I don’t give her a moment to hold it again…I’m a bastard, I want to torture her, to force her to cry out and beg.

  I hit her again, same spot and love watching her move this time. Her knees shaking and pump against the bed. Her cry is louder, but snatched back quickly. Good girl. Let’s see if you can do that again.

  Same spot, same speed, more deep redness. She’ll have a welt there for sure. Her legs only shake this time, her arms too. Her cry is a long slow whimper. Her head hanging down.

  I step forward and rub her ass. She moves her cheeks away quickly like my touch stings as much as the belt. It probably does. I pinch the redness and she yelps. But she stays put. She even arches her ass for me. “Good girl.”

  I wrap the belt back around my hand. “Stay exactly as you are. No sound. No movement. I won’t make this easy, but I will make it fast, beautiful. I want to be inside you.” She moans for me.

  I start back up with the small slaps of the belt, wrapping its end around each leg at a time, taking extra care to hit the tender part of her inner thighs. Enjoying her quick intake of breath, her head whipping back in pain each time.

 
But she stays put, she only breathes and hisses through each strike. When I get to her feet, I stop and kiss each sole. She squirms. I bring the belt down harder and she almost cries out in shock, just stopping herself from forming any words or getting louder. Good girl. I only give her a second to pant against this pain.

  “Spread your legs.” She moves to open her knees quickly. I smile. She thinks she’s done.

  I move slowly to stand next to her, rubbing the part of her ass that’s only a little pink. I whisper, “There’s only one more spot I need to claim with my belt, Lucy.” I can feel her shaking increase as she takes my meaning. “Stay still!” I keep my hand on her ass to help her not to move.

  I rub the tip of the belt against her wet lips. I can see the leather darken with it. I pull the belt back and hear her take a quick breath in, holding it. I wait a little longer, enjoying her anticipation. I bring the belt down hard against her pussy and asshole. A wet smack and sharp cry. She’s almost hyperventilating from it.

  I cut into her breathing, “Get control of yourself, girl. I’ll give you another if you keep crying and breathing like that.”

  But I smile that she doesn’t close her legs. She lowers her head and takes deeper breaths. I move away from the bed, dropping the belt and getting undressed quickly.

  I’m on the bed, behind her just as her breathing is almost back to normal. I squeeze her lower ass, the welt mark and she hisses again. I move my thumbs to her pussy lips, feeling the swelling and wetness. She’ll be sore. Just the way I like her.

  I pull her lips apart roughly and she’s gasping already, pushing towards me. I lean over and run my tongue up and down the inside of her pussy, sucking her juices and scraping her swollen lips with my teeth. She cries out again, but still pushes into me more, arching more. So beautiful.

  I pull back and hear her little moans. Watch her ass pump up and down a little for me. God help me if I can make it more than 30 seconds, but I’ll try, girl.

  I push my cock slowly into her, feeling her tight, wet pussy wrap around me. Feeling her lips pull and squeeze me deeper. She can take all of me. I can feel her wall, but she takes it, even pushing herself further onto me, crying out.

  I pull back and shove in hard, slapping my balls against her clit. We cry out together, grunt together. I push in harder once before pulling out quick and shoving back in quicker. She matches my moves, shoving and pulling, squeezing when I’m deepest. I only hold on long enough to hear the start of her long moan.

  My own cry drowns hers. My fingers cutting into her hips, pulling and shoving her on my cock. She falls to her elbows. Crying and moaning. I wait until my cock stops throbbing, until her hips stop moving at all, before pulling out and pushing her sideways.

  I collapse next to her and grab her in my arms. “I love you…I love you…I love you!” I kiss her lips, taking her breath to make it my own.

  She laughs and slaps my chest. “Give a girl a minute, you brute!” But she quickly pulls herself onto my chest, smothering me with her kisses and hair. “I love you, too!”

  …..

  “I want to show you something.” I get up and pull her with me. We walk naked through my loft, hand in hand.

  I open the door down the hall and reach for the light switch inside, letting her walk in first.

  “When did you do all this?” She’s beautiful, with her hand on her stomach, hair falling around her shoulders, my belt marks pinking her skin in lines across her legs, arms, and back. Her ass a beautiful cherry red moving into the nursery.

  It’s all set up for her. A comfy rocker, furniture. Tons of toys and books. Everything she could want.

  “Today. I had my contractors here all day getting it together.” She turns and sees my smile and the wall behind me.

  She frowns, but I only smile more. She walks over and stands in front of the art, “MJT,” hand painted with tiny cartoon animals joined together inside the initials. I stand behind her and put my hands over hers, still on her stomach. I can feel her warmth.

  I see goose bumps run down her stinging arms with my voice against her ear, “Our son will be named Maximilian Jacob Traeger when he’s born.” I turn her around in my arms, she smiles at me with tears. “MJ for short I’m thinking.”

  Chapter 42 HER

  “And what if I’d said no to being yours?” I tease him with a coy smile and kiss on his chin.

  He only laughs. And swats my ass hard. I cry out. “Are you asking for another spanking so soon, girl?” I shake my head. He turns a little more serious. “I know you didn’t have a choice.” He kisses me and I’m filled again with the complete passion of his touch. Even with only a small kiss, every part of me is claimed as his. I feel it down to my toes. I feel everywhere that he touched with his belt, his lips. “I want you to move in here, Lucy. I don’t have a ring…I’ll take care of that tomorrow, but I want to make you my wife. Say yes.”

  I put my arms around his neck. “Two weeks.”

  “What?” I laugh at his confusion and stern frown. I kiss him quickly.

  “We’ll get married in two weeks, on Saturday and I’ll move in then.” I step away from his arms and walk back out into the hall. I know his eyes are on my ass, on the marks he’s left on me. I smile. “That should give you enough time to get this place ready for a nice party to celebrate.” He comes up behind me laughing and picks me up again, spinning me around and heading back into the bedroom. I can picture a future again. With Jake. Here.

  I allow myself one more thought before giving into his kisses, the tiny part I know Jake will always let me have…

  I can picture a future with our baby very loved, Max…and he will know you through Jake and me. You will always have a piece of my heart. Always.

  …..

  In the dark, listening to Jake’s little snores, I know he’s right. I know I’m his now. I know he’s mine. My heart may never heal completely from losing Max and I’d never forgive myself if I let go of the love I still have for him. But I know Jake loves me. And I love him. He’s given me everything I want, everything I need…him.

  Control is about choices. And I didn’t have any before.

  I didn’t chose to let fate step in my way. It just did.

  I didn’t chose to fall for him. I just did.

  I didn’t chose to give him everything I am. I just had to.

  I have no choice in how I love him. I just do.

  I can be strong. I can submit all of myself again. And he just accepts me as I am.

  Always.