Coulson's Lessons

by McIntyre, Anna J

  “Anyway, I don’t think I would have made a very good father. I’ve always been too self-centered.”

  Alexandra had never considered Garret in that light. To her, he had always been loving, giving, and self-sacrificing. Ryan had always wanted children. Alex remembered Ryan as a good husband and father, yet she had to admit there were times he was very self-centered, concentrating on his own needs before hers or Adam’s.

  “Well, I think you would have been a wonderful father.” She snuggled a little closer to Garret; the air was so cold, and he was so warm.

  “Alex, why didn’t you and Ryan have more children?”

  It seemed strange for them to be talking like this. Ten years ago, their conversations mirrored their relationship, containing only the immediate, the here and now. Topics of children or dreams of the future were avoided, for they were a painful reminder of what they could never share.

  “We wanted more, but after Adam was born, I just never got pregnant again. Actually, Ryan wanted a bigger family more than I did. Adam was such a handful, and Ryan was always working.” Alex continued to lean against his shoulder as she talked.

  “So you decided not to have anymore?” Garret had always wondered about Adam being an only child. Had their marriage had difficulties before Garret came into Alex’s life, and had they decided not to bring another child into the family for that reason?

  “Not exactly. Ryan wanted to get some tests. His tests showed he wasn’t the problem.”

  “And you?”

  “I just kept stalling, telling Ryan to give it more time. Soon he was so involved with the restaurant that extending the family was no longer a priority. He was occupied elsewhere.”

  “Any regrets?” Garret asked.

  “About having more kids? No, no regrets.”

  Garret stood up and pulled Alex to her feet.

  “We better head back to the cabin, it’s getting cold out here,” he suggested, noting the iciness of her hands.

  “Can you take me back to town before one? I need to get to work, and I was hoping you’d drop me at the restaurant. My car’s still there.”

  “No problem, Alex. We can make it easily,” Garret said as he glanced at his watch.

  Alexandra had never gone to the cabin with Garret without making love with him or almost making love, until today. She thought about this as she sat in the Jeep watching Garret silently steer the car toward Coulson. She did not regret today’s lack of physical intimacy, for in some ways, she felt as if she and Garret had been more intimate today than they had ever been before.

  When Garret pulled the Jeep into the Lucky Lady parking lot, Taylor was just getting out of his car. The bartender had already noticed Alexandra’s car was where she left it the previous night, and this did not please him. When he saw the Jeep pull into the parking lot, he wore a concerned frown.

  “Alex, thanks for spending this morning with me,” Garret said as he opened her car door. They stood together by the Jeep. Taylor, whose vehicle was nearby, was taking his time getting his things out of his car.

  “I enjoyed myself, Garret. It was nice talking to you.”

  Garret’s blue eyes searched Alexandra’s face, noting the light freckles along the bridge of her nose, her amazing hazel eyes that were so wide, so expressive that he imagined he could almost read her heart. Those eyes held nothing back. They were unable to hide emotion, unable to lie. He reached up and gently stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand, moving it in a slow circular motion. Their gazes were locked hypnotically, and they stood a moment in silence, each aware of the beating of their hearts, the sound of their breaths. Then he spoke softly, his eyes never leaving hers.

  “Alex, I’d like to see you. Think you can get away one night? I could take you out to dinner; maybe we could go two-steppin’. Do you like to dance Alex?”

  Alex smiled. A date. She and Garret had never gone on a date.

  “Fridays and Saturdays are bad. Is tonight too soon?” she asked shyly.

  “No.” Garret gave her a wide smile. “Tonight’s just fine.”

  Before saying goodbye, he leaned over and gave her mouth the gentlest of kisses.

  Taylor fell into step with Alexandra after Garret drove off. Walking toward the back entrance of the Lucky Lady Restaurant, Alex noticed the scowl on her bartender’s normally handsome face.

  “So, tell me, Alex,” he said at last, his voice harsh. “Is it easier the second time?”

  “Is what easier?” Alex was sincerely perplexed. What was bothering Taylor?

  “A one-night stand,” he snapped, his eyes fixed forward.

  Alex froze. Her hazel eyes blazed angrily at Taylor, who stopped and faced her. She wanted to yell. Tell him he was a hypocrite. Remind him of his numerous indiscretions. Slap him; kick him. But she was too angry, too betrayed. Instead of saying a word, she walked past Taylor and didn’t utter a sound.

  The fact that Alexandra’s car had remained in the parking lot all night did not go unnoticed by only Taylor. Yet, the only member of the crew who was bold enough to simply ask was Rosa. She barged into Alex’s office, planted herself on the chair facing the desk and refused to budge until Alex talked.

  Alexandra looked up from her papers, chuckling in spite of herself at the anxious and curious friend and employee.

  “Well?” Rosa prodded.

  Alex took a deep breath, set her ink pen atop the papers, and calmly folded her hands together on the desktop.

  “Well what?” she asked, knowing full well Rosa’s meaning.

  “Did you spend the night with him? How was it? Is he as good as he looks?”

  Alex laughed good-naturedly and shook her head.

  “Sorry to disappoint you. Garret simply took me home. He didn’t even make it beyond the front door. You can check it out with Adam. Who, by the way, met me by the door.”

  “And how did your son react to the fact that a good-looking man took you home?”

  “Not good. Sons don’t like to view their mothers as women. It disrupts their scheme of things.”

  “Hmmm. So why did I hear he brought you to work today? What’s going on?”

  “We went for a ride this morning. That’s all, Rosa. And he’s taking me to dinner tonight. Dancing, too.”

  “That’s great!” Rosa beamed, and then she rushed and threw her arms around Alex, giving her a big hug. “I’m so happy for you!”

  “It’s just a date,” Alex lied.

  “I’m just happy to see you getting on with life, Alex. Boy, I bet his brother is pissed that Garret moved in on him.” Then she thought a moment. “Although he didn’t seem too upset last night.”

  “Oh?”

  “Your sister took him home,” Rosa told her as she walked toward the door to leave.

  “I just hope they didn’t kill each other!” Alex laughed.

  Chapter 36

  A cooing babe, swaddled lovingly in a powder blue or pink receiving blanket, stirred no secret yearnings in Emily’s heart. She had no desire to hear the pitter-patter of little feet or rock a babe into the wee morn as it suckled at her breast. If anything, those scenes made her cringe inwardly.

  What she yearned for was a hard man in her bed with a platinum MasterCard.

  Emily was thrilled when she first became Garret Coulson’s executive assistant. She was young, ambitious, and good-looking. Bringing Garret into her bed would secure her position, for Emily was not one to overlook an opportunity.

  Garret Coulson’s weakness for women was common knowledge. Vanity convinced Emily that when she did maneuver Garret into her bed, he would be unable to leave it. She believed heartily that women possessed far more power by using what was between their legs than what was in their heads.

  Within six months, her self-confidence was gone. Not only had she been unable to get the boy’s pants off, he consistently treated her with such cool, unfailing professional respect that she was beginning to suspect he was gay. The stories of his sexual exploits were obviously i
maginary.

  She would have held to that notion had an older and wiser secretary not told her what most of the employees at Coulson Enterprises already knew. Garret Coulson never, ever, mixed business and pleasure. Never. The boy might be jumping from bed to bed, but it was an easy wager that the occupants were not employees of Coulson Enterprises.

  This fact helped ease Emily’s wounded ego. She dared to continue on her hopeless campaign to capture his notice. In frustration, she often lashed out at her employer, even berating him on his lack of professional attire. Garret never seemed to notice her comments; if anything, he would look her way, a bit bemused, and then simply dismiss her from his consciousness. Unknown to Emily, in spite of her misguided attempt to promote her career, she was a damn good assistant. Had this not been the case, Garret would have terminated her within the first month.

  When Garret Coulson finally returned after ten years, Emily was relieved that she had never made a play for the younger brother. Not only was Russell not her type, any involvement with him would have complicated her plans.

  Now that Garret was retired, he could no longer consider Emily as off limits. She even imagined he harbored some secret fantasies about her. A rich, handsome husband would make her life easier. The fact that he was in his early fifties was an added bonus. She imagined he would want to spend his days traveling, taking cruises, enjoying life. He certainly wouldn’t want to be a daddy. Yes, Emily was glad Garret returned.

  Russell had brought Garret to the office the previous morning after picking him up from the airport. Garret strolled into the Garden Pavilion, reminding Emily of the conquering warrior returning to his village. She often wondered why he never visited. It was always Russell who went to Chicago. Like a bee to honey, the staff buzzed around Garret. He was still handsome; the only obvious change was the color of his hair, and his complexion had lost its normal tan.

  She was frustrated when he showed her no special notice and angry when she was not invited to the homecoming party. Emily was sitting at her desk, contemplating her strategy for winning Garret, when the phone rang.

  To her delight, the caller was Garret himself. After she put the call through to Russell, the wheels in her mind began to spin and churn. When setting out to achieve a goal, wasn’t it best to learn everything about the objective? Before applying for her job at Coulson Enterprises, she had gone to the library and thoroughly researched the company. Should she do any less for Garret? With a silent smile, she pushed the mute button on her phone, gently picked up the receiver and gave a silent thank you to the company’s archaic phone system, which gave her the ability to eavesdrop.

  “How did the cabin look?” Russell’s voice asked.

  “Great. The people you hired did a good job. Thanks for the food in the fridge.”

  “Did Alex stay at the cabin with you?”

  Alex? Who’s he? Emily wondered.

  “No, Russell, I just took her home last night. But we drove up there this morning.”

  Her? Alex is a her? Emily frowned at the phone. He found a woman already?

  “And?”

  “And… we talked and took a walk.”

  “That’s all?”

  “Shit, Russy, you’re a nosy son of a bitch.”

  You just noticed? Emily scoffed to herself.

  “There was a time you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.”

  Who is this Alex that Garret can’t keep his hands off?

  “It’s been ten years, Russy. We need to take it slow. Between you and me, Russell —”

  That’s what you think! Emily listened closely.

  “—I’m still in love with her. All I can think of is making love to her again.”

  Again? Who in the hell is Alex?

  “When are you seeing her again?”

  “Tonight. I’m taking her out to dinner and dancing. I never asked, but how did you get home last night?”

  “Kate took me home. By the way, Garret, did you find some keys in your Jeep?”

  “I’ll look. Why?”

  “My damn key ring came apart last night. A couple of keys are missing. They must have fallen out of my pocket.”

  “I’ll check and let you know. Maybe they fell out in Kate’s car.”

  “Maybe. I’ll call her.” Russell chuckled. “I never could understand how two sisters like Alexandra Keller and Katie Chamberlain could be so different.”

  Alex. Alexandra Keller! Emily stared at the phone in disbelief. She had been such a fool; she hadn’t even suspected. Yet, now—now it made perfect sense.

  Chapter 37

  Alexandra refused to allow Taylor’s words to ruin her day. She had experienced her share of the double standard during her lifetime, and she couldn’t imagine why she would let it bother her now. As the day wore on, she began to suspect Taylor was regretting his ill-chosen words. His expression became downright puppy-dog miserable. Yet, Alex wasn’t about to let him off the hook. He would have to come to her with one hell of an apology before she would give him any attention. They became strictly employee and employer. In her own way, Alex dismissed Taylor, treating him as if he was of less importance than the paperboy. She did not do this by rude words or insults. It was what she didn’t say—what she held back.

  Steve was the first to notice Alex’s coolness toward Taylor, and he immediately shared his observation with Rosa. Rosa, being far more perceptive than Steve, guessed it had something to do with Garret. Taylor’s annoyance at Alex’s hasty departure with Garret the night before had not gone unnoticed by Rosa.

  The waitress summed up Alex’s coolness toward Taylor with four simple words. “He said something stupid.”

  “Are you sure?” Steve asked, noting Rosa’s absolute confidence in the hasty verdict, despite the fact that she had not talked to either Taylor or Alex about their obvious disagreement.

  Giving Steve her most don’t you be stupid look, she said, “He’s a man, isn’t he?”

  Adam was surprised when his mother came home at six o’clock that evening. He had been feeling a little guilty all day over their argument the night before. Had he even wished her a happy birthday? He didn’t think so.

  She came barreling through the front door, wearing the silliest grin. He was disappointed to see she wasn’t wearing the gift he had given her. Perhaps she was still angry with him.

  “Hi, Adam, haven’t had the chance to thank you for the wonderful gift. It was really sweet. I almost cried!”

  “I’m glad you liked it.” Adam grinned, reminding Alex for a moment of the little boy he had been. “You’re not wearing it.” By reflex, Alex’s hand touched the small of her neck, where the locket would rest had she been wearing it.

  “I don’t want to wear it to work. I might lose it.” She couldn’t tell him the truth, that she was uncomfortable wearing it around Garret. He would never understand. Her answer seemed to appease him.

  “What are you doing home?”

  Alex studied her son for a moment as he stood in the archway leading to the kitchen. He wore tattered jeans and an oversized white T-shirt embossed with crude cartoon characters. His feet were bare, and a baseball cap covered the top of his head. Standing with his hands tucked into the rear pockets of his faded pants, his knees slightly bent, he waited expectantly for her answer. She wondered how she should tell him. Should she simply blurt it out or turn this into some long, drawn-out dissertation, beginning with I loved your father but. She opted for the condensed version.

  “I’m going on a date.” She smiled a little too brightly, bracing herself for Adam’s reaction.

  “You are kidding?” he said quietly, his eyes narrowing.

  “Didn’t you think I would ever date?” Alex asked calmly as she walked into the kitchen and set her purse on the tile counter. She turned and faced Adam, who had followed her into the kitchen and was now standing directly behind her.

  “But Dad just died.” Adam fairly whined his statement.

  “Your father died over seven mont
hs ago,” she said softly.

  “Does that mean you can just forget him?” Anger began slipping into his words.

  “This has nothing to do with forgetting about your father.” She reached out to her son, but he turned away, his back to her. Alex dropped her hand.

  “Adam, you keep telling me you’re an adult, that you have your own life. You’re going to be out on your own soon. That’s as it should be. But I need a life, too, Adam. Why do you imagine I need companionship less than you do? Do you expect me to stay in this house and be alone for the rest of my life?”

  “Am I supposed to live here forever, be your little boy?” Adam spat out angrily, turning to face his mother.

  “You aren’t listening to me, Adam. If I thought that, I wouldn’t be doing my job as a mother. I expect you to move on and have a life of your own. But you can’t expect me to stay here and have no life. Believe it or not, kiddo, before I became your mother, I was already a whole person, a woman with hopes, dreams, and needs. Get used to it. Being your mom is just one part of me. As much as I dearly love you, being your mother isn’t the only thing I am.”

  Chapter 38

  Angrily pushing herself through the exit doors of the Garden Pavilion, Emily nearly collided into Kate, who was just reaching for the door handle. Instead of an apology, Kate received a hostile glare as the angry woman marched out to the parking lot, anxious to get away from work.

  Kate shrugged at the rudeness, then entered the front building and looked around. Although she had lived in Coulson most of her life, she had never been to Coulson Enterprises’ main office.

  She began critically assessing her surroundings. Impressive, lots of glass, a bit pompous, sort of like Russell. What is this Garden Pavilion crap, a pretentious, fancy name for an oversized lobby? Well, maybe it is the size of a gymnasium, with a ceiling high enough you could do some major hang gliding in. Are all these plants real? What are they trying to do, re-create the rainforest? Kate’s observation was interrupted by an overweight, slightly balding security guard.