Coulson's Lessons

by McIntyre, Anna J

  Jimmy’s expression froze, and he swallowed nervously. “Did Ryan tell you?”

  “Yes, he told me.” Alexandra was fuming.

  “But that was different,” Jimmy rationalized.

  “I don’t see how. Do you think your wife would honestly believe your affair with Alice Johnson was any different than mine with Garret?”

  “Damn it, Alex, that was over seven years ago. And I’ve never been unfaithful since Alice.”

  “Jimmy, you’re a damned hypocrite.” Alex sat back on the couch. “Garret and I happened over ten years ago. And I was never unfaithful again.”

  “But Ryan…” Jimmy whined lamely; the steam was knocked out of his anger. He looked to Alex, who gave him her most rebuking glance. Sighing wearily, Jimmy collapsed on the recliner and faced her. They were silent for a few moments.

  “Jimmy, how long have we been friends?” Alex asked softly.

  “Forever.” He smiled weakly.

  “Remember when Susan Winters dumped you?” Alex pulled her feet onto the couch and tucked them under her.

  “We got two six packs and went up into the hills.”

  “Got pretty wasted. I remember you said you were giving up women.”

  “And you said you were giving up men,” Jimmy added, recalling the event from their senior year in high school.

  “Remember what we did then?” Alex asked shyly.

  “Yeah, we started necking.” Jimmy chuckled. “It was pretty strange to be necking with one of my best friends. But I kinda liked it.”

  “That’s when we decided to go to the prom.”

  “We never kissed again. Why was that Alex?” He already knew the answer.

  “Probably had something to do with your brother taking me to the prom.”

  They were silent for a moment. Finally, Jimmy asked the question he’d been wondering since learning of Alex’s affair.

  “Tell me, Alex. What’s the deal with Coulson?”

  “I met him during a weak spot in our marriage. Scared the hell out of me. I think Ryan and I were closer when it was over. How about you?”

  “You mean Alice?”

  Alex nodded.

  “I guess I was going through that midlife shit. Feeling trapped, undesirable. Alice was a cute thing, and I thought I was superman. Great for the ego. Ryan told me I was crazy and to get my act together. Alice married some guy three months after we called it quits.”

  “Do you ever think about her?”

  “Never. It was a phase. I grew out of it. What about Coulson?”

  “I guess I never grew out of it,” Alex said sadly. “Jimmy, I really did love your brother. But there is this thing between Garret and me. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Yet, I can’t bring myself to regret it, either. I never, in a million years, thought Adam would find out. How is he?”

  “Angry, hurt.”

  “How do Jill and the girls feel about Adam staying there? Do they know why?”

  “Jill knows. I told Adam I didn’t want him to say anything to his cousins. I told him to simply say you and he had a disagreement and leave it at that.”

  “What did Jill say about it?” Alex cringed at the thought of her sister-in-law’s newfound knowledge.

  “Honestly?” Jimmy smiled. “I think it rather made her day. You’ve always intimidated Jill.”

  “Why?” Alex frowned.

  “I don’t know. Maybe because you have your master’s and she barely finished high school. You and I have always been good friends. The way you handle the restaurant. Lots of reasons. I think it gave her comfort to know you’re human. That you’re not perfect.”

  “Jeez, Jimmy. I never said I was perfect.”

  “Alex, sometimes, the way you carry yourself, you come off that way.”

  “What now?”

  “Let Adam stay at my house. I’ll keep an eye on him. I’ll try to talk to him. He’ll come around. Give him time.”

  On Sunday morning, Alexandra forced herself to go to work. She wondered how many crewmembers knew of her affair. The three employees who witnessed Emily’s outburst weren’t due in until 2:00 p.m. Alex hoped this would enable her to enjoy an entire morning without being reminded of the unbearable situation. It didn’t.

  Sitting in her office, posting invoices onto the computer, Alex was startled when her brother came slamming into the room. Tommy’s usual easygoing manner was replaced with dark anger.

  “I just spoke to my nephew,” Tommy announced as he firmly shut the door behind him and turned to face his sister, who sat expressionless at the desk.

  “I never knew I had such a talkative son,” Alex observed wryly.

  “How could you, Alex? I never thought you’d do something like that.”

  “Tommy, you’re my brother, and I love you. But I really don’t have to explain anything to you. And I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t go to Mom and Dad with this.”

  “You don’t want them to know their daughter is an adulteress,” Tommy snapped.

  “I think the proper tense is ‘was an adulteress.’ It was ten years ago.”

  “Damn it, Alex, Ryan was my best friend!”

  “And I’m your sister! For once, you could try and be a little understanding and not so judgmental!” Alexandra fairly shouted her response to her brother, jumping to her feet. She faced him angrily.

  At that instant, the office door opened and Garret Coulson walked through the doorway. He’d been about to knock, but after hearing Alex’s shouting, he changed his mind.

  “Garret,” Alex whispered. Tommy turned to face his sister’s lover.

  “Coulson.” Tommy’s tone was accusatory. “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here after what you’ve done to this family.” He then turned to his sister. “Alex, I don’t understand how you allowed yourself to get involved with this trash. Everyone knows he’s nothing but a womanizer.”

  “Shut up, Tommy,” Alexandra warned. Garret stood in stony silence.

  “Tell me, Coulson, did Russell know?” As Tommy asked he glanced from Alex to Garret. They didn’t answer, yet he knew the truth by their expressions. “He knew. Damn it, he knew,” Tommy was disgusted. “Russell comes to me with all this crap about mending fences, missing Ryan. All along, he sat by and watched his brother screw his best friend’s wife.”

  At that, Tommy brusquely left the office, pushing angrily past Garret to get through the doorway. Tommy was still in the hallway, outside of Alex’s office, when Garret caught up to him. Catching him by the arm, Garret roughly swung Tommy around to face him.

  “I don’t care if you are Alex’s brother. If you talk that way about her again, I’ll—”

  “You’ll what?” Tommy gruffly pulled his arm from Garret’s grip. “Kill me, beat the shit out of me? What? And what should I do to you, Coulson, for what you did to my sister?”

  “I love her,” Garret said quietly.

  “Right,” Tommy snapped as if he didn’t believe a word Garret was saying. He began to turn away when Garret stopped him again.

  “Chamberlain, you don’t understand. Alex needs your support now. Not your censure.”

  Tommy didn’t respond. He turned and walked away without looking back.

  “Alex, can we talk?” Garret asked when he walked back into her office.

  “I’m tired, Garret. Would you please just go?”

  Alexandra looked defeated. Garret wanted to pull her into his arms, yet some inner voice told him to walk away. She needed time to sort out her problems, time alone. Garret turned toward the door. He paused a moment in the doorway, his back to Alex.

  “I love you, Alex,” he said quietly.

  “I know,” she returned, her voice sad as she watched Garret walk away.

  Chapter 46

  On Monday morning, Emily was anxious to return to work. It had been a miserable weekend. She’d had too much to drink on Friday and some crazy broad actually hit her. It took Emily an extra thirty minutes to apply enough makeup to conceal what remained of her black
eye. She wasn’t quite sure how she made it home because her car was still in the Lucky Lady parking lot on Saturday morning.

  Rushing up the walkway to the front entrance of the Garden Pavilion, Emily was surprised when a guard stopped her from entering. Annoyed, Emily began to argue with the guard. Her words were abruptly hushed when he unceremoniously plunked a large cardboard box into her arms. Dazed, she looked into the box and discovered it was filled with her personal items from the office. She had been terminated.

  The days plodded on painfully for Alexandra. Adam never called and refused her calls. In turn, Alex avoided Garret. At work, the crew knew something was wrong, yet only Rosa, Steve, and Taylor knew the truth. Steve and Taylor were polite to Alex, yet carefully avoided the subject of Adam or Garret. Rosa held her tongue for almost a week. Finally, she could no longer contain herself. Finding Alex alone in the office, Rosa entered and closed the door behind her.

  “Alex,” Rosa began, “we need to talk. You need to talk.”

  Alexandra was standing at the file cabinet next to her desk carefully filing a stack of invoices. She glanced over to Rosa who plunked into an office chair.

  “I’m worried about you,” Rosa announced.

  “Don’t.” Alexandra set the pile of invoices on top of the file cabinet, returned to her desk, and sat down. “Taylor and Steve treat me like I have leprosy.”

  “Alex, they are just… shocked.”

  “Are you shocked, Rosa?” Alex eyed her friend and employee.

  “I’m surprised, Alex. I always thought you and Ryan had the perfect marriage.”

  “There are no such things as perfect marriages.”

  “I suppose not,” Rosa agreed. “I guess everyone around here always had you on a pedestal. Alex with no secrets, no skeletons in the closets.”

  “Well, I certainly crashed off that pedestal, didn’t I?”

  “It’s okay, Alex. Women don’t belong on pedestals. It’s not natural.” Rosa paused for a moment. “Alex, do you know why I got a divorce?”

  “I don’t think you ever told me.”

  “My daughter was about a year old and this good-looking cop moved in next door.”

  “Cop?”

  “Yeah. One with lots of macho and muscles. We started having an affair, and I left my husband for him.”

  “What happened?” Alex rested her elbows on the desktop as she waited for the answer.

  “I caught him in bed with his ex-wife. My own ex remarried six months after our divorce was final. He and his new wife live in a big house with a swimming pool, and she drives a Porsche. You might say I really screwed up.”

  “You never told me before. How come you’re telling me now?”

  “I suppose I was afraid you’d think I was a horrible person. Adultery is an ugly word. I wanted you to know I understand, Alex. And if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

  Kate Chamberlain was a woman of action. It took her all of five minutes to convince Russell to fire his assistant. When she learned Tommy had called Russell and told him in no uncertain terms that he didn’t need his friendship, Kate flew into a rage. Charging unannounced into her brother’s office, Kate slammed the door shut and faced the accountant, who didn’t seem all that surprised at his sister’s sudden appearance.

  “Kate?” Tommy set the pen he was holding on the desktop.

  “When did you become such a sanctimonious bastard, Tommy Chamberlain?”

  “I’d have thought you would have cleaned up your mouth by now, hanging out with Russell Coulson.”

  “Do you really enjoy having both of your sisters angry with you?” Kate stood with her hands resting against her slim hips.

  “What do you want, Kate?”

  “I want you to get off that high horse and stop being so judgmental. Do you have any idea what hell Alex has been going through?”

  “I imagine Alex brought this on herself.”

  “You don’t know anything about it,” Kate spat angrily.

  “And I suppose you do?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You knew back then, didn’t you? Just like Russell.”

  “Yes, I knew. Alex can talk to me without me being judged. Unlike you. You, who are so eager to toss Russy out of your life again. You really hurt him.”

  “Russell’s a hypocrite. He wasn’t Ryan’s friend.” Tommy surveyed his sister coolly.

  “He wasn’t?” Kate fumed. “If it wasn’t for Russell Coulson, Alex may have very well left Ryan for Garret. If it weren’t for Russy, Garret would never have gone to Chicago, which ended the relationship. No, Russy Coulson was a true friend to Ryan when Ryan didn’t even know he was his friend. When you get over being perfect, Tommy Chamberlain, then maybe you can try being a supportive brother and an understanding friend.” Kate abruptly turned and marched from the office.

  The weeks following Emily’s revelation were the worst in Garret’s life. To be so close to what he’d always wanted and then to have it snatched away was unbearable. During his original affair with Alex, Garret had known a separation was inevitable. Yet, when he returned to Coulson and believed in the possibility of a long-term relationship with Alex, losing her was far more devastating. He didn’t know how to approach her. When he tried to contact Alex, her response was always the same. Give me time. He was beginning to believe there would never be enough time for Alexandra to resolve her heart and her conscience.

  Taylor and Steve missed the old Alex. She was quiet, efficient, and aloof. Initially, they were shocked over her affair, yet neither was particularly judgmental. Taylor had been surprised by Alexandra once, when she’d taken him to her bed. Why shouldn’t she surprise him again? If anything, they viewed the situation philosophically. Who woulda figured… Alexandra Keller? You just never know about people. Beyond that initial observation, life went on.

  Chapter 47

  February flew by. On an early morning in mid-March, Alexandra found Adam and Jimmy in her living room, quietly waiting for her. She was surprised; it had been almost a month since she’d last seen her son. If Alex was hopeful that this visit was intended to resolve Adam’s anger over her affair, she was bitterly disappointed. Adam was embroiled in his own, more personal problems.

  “Pregnant?” Alexandra sputtered. She stood in the living room, facing Jimmy and Adam, who sat side by side on the sofa.

  “Over two months,” Jimmy said quietly.

  Alex’s mind reeled; she couldn’t believe this was happening. Pregnant. Kimmy was pregnant. She was going to be a grandmother. Her teenage son was going to be a father. Could things get any worse? She didn’t want to ask. Alex looked at Adam. He sat deathly still and pale.

  “Do her parents know?” Alex asked, nervously pacing the room. Adam had said nothing since his mother had joined them.

  “Yes,” Jimmy answered. He hated to admit it, but he was grateful that Kimmy was two months pregnant, not one month. His nephew had obviously impregnated his girlfriend when he was still living with his mother.

  “Have you and Kimmy discussed your options?” Alex directed her question to Adam.

  “I thought—” Adam’s voice was strained. “—we’d get married. We could move in here with you.”

  “Here?” Alex’s voice began to rise in irritation.

  “It is my home,” Adam said sharply. “There’s plenty of room. After the baby is born, Kimmy can finish school. We both still want to go to college.”

  “And who is going to watch your baby?” Alex asked quietly. Adam looked to his mother as if the answer was obvious. He expects me to raise his child!

  Garret was surprised when Alexandra called and asked to meet him at Kate’s. He would’ve felt better if she wanted to go to the cabin. It was unsettling to be summoned to Kate’s—neutral territory. When he arrived, Kate led Garret into the dining room where Alex sat at the table. Her hands were folded and resting on the tabletop. With weary, sad eyes, she glanced up to Garret. She looked so tired—had she lost more weight? Garret stood silently
in the doorway. He heard Kate shut the front door. They were alone, Garret and Alexandra.

  “Alex?” Garret slowly approached the table.

  “Garret, I’m sorry I haven’t called. I know it wasn’t fair. Everything is such a mess.”

  Alex began to cry. In a flash, Garret was by her side and gathered her into his arms. It had been weeks since he last held her. It felt like a lifetime.

  “Sweetheart, we’ll get through this together. Just please, don’t shut me out.”

  “It’s too late, too late.” She buried her head in his shoulder and continued to sob.

  “Don’t say that Alex, please.” Garret held her tightly. He wouldn’t—couldn’t—let her go again.

  “You don’t understand. Adam’s girlfriend is pregnant. He wants to marry her and bring her home. My home. He wants me to help raise the baby. My grandchild.”

  “Do you want to?”

  “Do I have a choice?” she choked out.

  “Don’t you, Alex?” He grabbed her shoulders with his hands and pushed her away, forcing her to look into his face. “We always have a choice.”

  “Not this time. Adam hasn’t talked to me in a month. He’s my son, Garret. I love him. I can’t abandon him. If I refuse to do this, he’ll never forgive me.”

  Garret used his thumb to gently wipe away the tears dampening her cheeks. “Alex, don’t shut me out. Please. If you have to do this, I’ll stand by you. I can’t lose you again.”

  “You’d still want me if we’re tied down raising my grandchild… Ryan’s grandchild?”

  Garret pulled her into his arms and held her securely. “Alexandra, whenever you’re ready, I’ll marry you. Don’t you understand I’d do anything for you? Anything for us.”

  Chapter 48

  It’s amazing how need inspires tolerance. Adam moved back to his mother’s house and began making plans to marry Kimmy. He refrained from mentioning his mother’s affair, and although he was polite, if he felt affection for Alexandra, he carefully hid it.