The Years After (Sister #5)

by Leanne Davis

  “What?”

  “Selling drugs?”

  He tilted his head and finally shrugged. “I didn’t think about it really. It’s just what I did, always. Instead of sports, or a hobby, or school even. I did that. I guess it became a habit. It kept me busy. It was always exciting, as I never knew what was coming next. Got a few close calls with the cops, and violent people who were too strung out and craving stuff, even when they couldn’t pay. I didn’t like that part. But no, I guess if you’re asking did it offend me like it would you? No. It was the status quo in my life always.”

  “Why didn’t you ever start doing drugs?”

  “It seemed the only thing I could control. I had to sell them. And be around them, but I didn’t have to take them.”

  “You didn’t go to school?”

  He shrugged and turned to stare out the front window. It was such a pretty neighbor. His face looked as if he kind of detested it. “No. Not for very long. I learned to read somehow. That’s about it.”

  He kept staring out the window. She watched his mind starting to click. He was thinking of running. She felt it down to her toes. She leaned forward and touched his arm. “Where are you going to go?”

  “What?” His startled glance found hers. At least, she had his attention.

  “When you run? Like always? Where will go? You think we’ll finally keep Max safe so you can what? Run off into nowhere, Derek? Just stop. Stop running. Your running almost got me killed. As well as yourself. Your judgment is skewed. You have no real idea about anything. So stop. Let my parents figure it out. You can’t. God, even I can’t. So just sit your ass right there, and consider it punishment for what happened to me. This time, you don’t get to run.”

  “I admitted to killing my father. They’ll have to turn me in. And Max? He has no guardian. They’ll turn him over to foster care. I can’t watch it. You don’t know the shit out there. At least, I know the shit I’m fighting. It’s a place where I’m quite comfortable.”

  Olivia touched his hand with hers. He jerked as if she’d just launched a firework up his ass. “No. You don’t know that. Fight for your brother. Stay here and make up for what you didn't protect him from. You can be a good brother now.”

  Her words resonated with him. She saw the moment his tense shoulders relaxed as he finally nodded and barely whispered, “Okay.”

  She got to her feet. She was still worn out, from all of it. His story, and pain, and Max’s, and what happened to her. She could not deal with any of it anymore. “I need to go lie down. Don’t run. We can’t make you stay. But this is it, Derek. This is your one chance in life. I wasn’t it. This is. Don’t fuck it up like you did everything else in your life.”

  With that, she left him there where he could disappear from her and Max forever. She had no idea what he’d do.

  ****

  Derek sat in their pretty, clean living room for another half hour before his brother came out. He was clean and didn’t smell. That was something. He sat down in Tony’s sweats and a shirt that was too baggy on him. “A-are we staying?”

  “I don’t know what else to do. We have no one else.”

  “It’s more than we’ve ever had. They’re nice.”

  Derek considered his little brother. “Yeah, they are. I’m sorry. I didn’t protect you. I didn’t get you out of there. I just didn’t know how. I thought I was doing enough. I thought—”

  “I know.”

  Derek nodded. Of course, Max knew. They were so busy trying not to die each day, it was hard to look after each other. “I won’t run again. I won’t leave you, Max.”

  He shrugged. He didn’t believe him, and why should he? Derek wasn’t so sure he believed it himself. He’d lied and cheated for so long, he wasn’t so sure he could cease doing it.

  Later, they came back into the living room. They had Olivia come back down. There was no hiding stuff here. He got that pretty quick. Just like there was no hitting or drugging. It was far from his sense of normal.

  “So we think you’re both in danger. You can’t go back to Marsdale.” Tony glanced at each of them.

  “What about the gun? My dad? Should you call the police?”

  “No. No good can come of it. Other than, Quentrell will find you, right?”

  “Probably.”

  “Where will they go?” Olivia asked, looking puzzled.

  Gretchen wrung her hands together. “To start? For now, we think they should stay with some friends of ours. Far from here. Far from your brother’s reach. And far from Olivia.”

  “Where?”

  “Lindsey’s house. They have the room, and they’re willing to let them come.”

  Lindsey Cole was her mom’s best friend. Olivia had called her Aunt Lindsey since first meeting her when she was eight. They lived hundreds of miles, and two states away in a little town in Washington state. Olivia gasped. Derek glanced around. “Where?”

  “It’s my mom’s best friend. That’s actually perfect. And she agreed?”

  “Noah and she agreed.”

  “Why? Why would anyone help out strangers that could possibly bring danger to them?”

  “Because once, she was in danger, and I let her stay with me despite the danger. Because there are decent people out there, Derek, who will help people who need it. And the only danger you can bring there is in what you two do. The rest stays here.”

  “Look, this isn’t right. What we’re doing. Max is under age and we should be calling the police and handing him over to Child Protective Services. I’m a counselor and I know the laws, and I’m willingly disobeying them. Will you go? You’re eighteen, so we can’t make you,” Gretchen urged. him

  He glanced at his brother. Fear of the unknown was written in Max’s face. The kid could take on huge, older criminals to fight, but feared that. “I’ll go. I’ll go wherever Max goes. And can’t it just be two brothers who are out taking a vacation together? It’s not like Max’s guardian said no.”

  “You know how to work any angle to suit your needs, don’t you?”

  Derek flushed and nodded. Gretchen smiled. “In this case, we’ll say that’s what’s happening. Go up there and learn something, Derek. Learn how a decent person acts and lives. Stop this cycle of insanity you’ve been raised in. Learn what a boyfriend does for someone he cares about. Let this chance save your life.”

  Derek took in a sharp breath and nodded. He had no idea how to express what he was thinking or feeling. There were no words. Nothing glib came to his mind. Finally, he settled for “Thank you. I will try.”

  “Just try,” Tony emphasized. “Try, Derek. I’ll take you both up there. We’ll leave tomorrow. It’s a long drive.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “How will you get there? We’ve come this far, we’re not losing either of you now.”

  His throat hurt and his eyes ached. He was so lost, he had no idea of his own name. But he nodded and said, “Thank you, sir.”

  “You’re welcome, kid.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  THE TRIP TO WASHINGTON state took two long days of driving. Tony and Derek switched off. They talked some; and listened to boring talk radio. But it wasn’t terrible. Derek kept reminding himself he could run any time. He could cut out and run away. He’d make sure Max was taken care of and he’d get the hell out of there. It was far enough from Quentrell that he could probably successfully disappear. Wherever they were going was only temporary, like everything else in his life, so it didn’t really matter what happened. Except, what happened to Max.

  Max, as usual, rarely spoke. He was a silent teen with a menacing look whose eyes appeared either dead or flashing in anger. The thought of what would happen to Max had Derek nearly throwing himself out of the moving car more than once. He was responsible for so few things in his life; why was it now on him to make sure Max didn’t end up like he did?

  Tony announced they were pulling into Ellensburg off the interstate. The land was flat with low mountains on the horizon
. What caught his eyes first were what looked like giant windmills. They were clustered all around and in different spots. As they drove closer towards the sprawling town, they approached the towering structures. All white, they stood over two hundred feet tall and had huge, spinning fans. They looked spooky, like alien creatures, standing at attention.

  Tony nodded towards them, “Wind farm. The turbines create electricity for the local utility company. The wind never stops blowing here, perfect spot for them.”

  “Impressive. But a little freaky-looking.”

  “Honestly? It’s really the only impressive thing about the area.”

  The town wasn’t much. A few streets and buildings. A college campus that was pretty enough, but not much different from Marsdale and Peterson College. Derek knew they had drug dealers and Quentrell’s equivalent somewhere hiding in the pretty streets and distant farms and ranches. Illicit drugs were everywhere. They infected all walks of life and society. Wherever Derek stopped selling, another dealer filled his place. He knew he could get hooked up here in a matter of days. And it would take little more to be back in business. At least here, there was no Quentrell so maybe he could control it. Maybe even get Max out of here and forever out of Marsdale.

  “Noah is a veterinarian. Lindsey was the mayor. They are good people, Derek. This is a good place. Don’t go looking for trouble, and if it finds you, don’t engage it. This is it, kid, your one chance in life to not end up like the rest of the men of your family, and to keep your kid brother from following in your footsteps. Do you hear me?”

  Derek shifted around in the front seat. How did Tony manage to read his thoughts? As of that moment, he had no more than a few changes of clothes to his name. He had no money. Not even a car now. He abandoned everything. And now he was forced to rely on complete strangers? It didn’t seem feasible that such an arrangement could work out.

  “Derek? Hear me out. Please. A lot of people have bent over backwards for this to happen. A lot of people are willing to help you two just on Gretchen’s and my say-so. And after what happened back home…”

  “I understand. I won’t fuck it up. I promise.”

  Tony held his gaze before he glanced back at the interstate. “That’s all I’m asking for. I have to believe in what my daughter saw in you, and so do you.”

  His heart felt like Tony stabbed him whenever he mentioned Olivia. No, it wasn’t lost on him that in doing this, he was now hundreds of miles away from her. He would not see her again. It was over. Forever. As it should have been. But that didn’t stop his heart from aching, or his stomach from hurting.

  “I’ll try.”

  They fell silent as Tony maneuvered through the streets before parking in front of a large house covered in old, stately trees that were now just starting to show buds. It was a quiet neighborhood with grand homes and a pervasive quiet that would have been very rare in Marsdale.

  Tony nodded. “You’ll be fine. Just use some of them manners I taught you.” His smile was brief and fleeting. Derek grabbed his bags and so did Max as they shuffled out: two homeless, wrinkled, lost losers. Derek hated it. It was almost as bad as being called a street thug.

  They shuffled up to the imperial front entrance and the door was opened by a tall, skinny woman with dark hair. She smiled with visible sweetness as she pulled the door wide open. “Tony. Hi. Hello, Derek, Max.” She nodded at each of them and offered her hand, “I’m Lindsey.”

  Derek took her slender hand in his. She was taller than he. Tony leaned in and kissed her cheek before going inside, and indicating for the two brothers to follow. Down the stairs came another tall man with dark hair and glasses. He was dressed all preppy like, and had the same polite, nice greeting. The house was like nothing Derek had ever seen. All dark wood and furnishings. It was dignified, clean and homey. And again, another part of the unknown world. Max turned in a full circle as he scrutinized the place.

  They shook hands, and the guy named Noah was every bit as warm as Lindsey. Derek glanced at Max, who shrugged. He was pretty sure his mom and dad never once said hello to him when he entered a room. These people were good talkers and knew the proper manners and language to use.

  Noah invited them to carry their things upstairs to the rooms where they’d be crashing. Derek followed as they were presented their own rooms. Throwing his bag to the floor, Derek turned, suddenly unsure what the hell to do with himself. Noah seemed decent enough, maybe a bit like Tony.

  “Derek? Why don’t you come down alone? We’d like to talk with you first.”

  Max was shown a giant TV and given the remote, which he happily accepted. He flopped down on a recliner and started flipping through the menu without another glance around.

  All the adults were gathered in the kitchen. Lindsey was leaning against the counter and Noah walked over to stand next to her, resting his hand around her waist. Tony sat at the coffee bar and said, “Sit down.”

  Derek sat next to him, glancing from one face to the next. What now? “So I’ve told them what happened down in Marsdale. What happened to Olivia, and what you did there. There are no more lies and no more hiding. We get that you’re eighteen and you can do whatever you want. But all of us are asking you to stay here for a while and just give this a chance. We’re asking you, for Max’s sake and for your own sake, just to try living here for a while. You have a lot to learn about being an adult, kid; and, as far as I can see, not one person ever spent even a single moment teaching you how to survive in society properly. But I can’t do it. For obvious reasons.”

  Derek stared at his hands. He’d never been lectured by an adult before. Not like Tony. He glanced around. Noah stepped forward then. “There will be no drugs or alcohol in this house. In any capacity. There will be no dealing drugs either. We find evidence of that, and you’re out of here. No crimes permitted.”

  Tony continued, “You need to learn how to work and function as an adult. You need this training, Derek. Will you stay? Will you follow some pretty ordinary rules?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled, staring harder at his fingers. The eyes of all the adults were riveted on him. He slumped forward. He fought the urge to turn to Tony and beg him not to leave him there. He couldn’t imagine trying to accomplish so much. But if Tony were there, maybe he could. Of course, there was never a chance Tony would help him, not after what he’d done.

  “Look me in the eye and promise me. And mean it.”

  He lifted his gaze and met Tony’s. “I promise.”

  He nodded and a strange feeling started to flutter in Derek’s chest. It was like… what? Pleasure? From what? A stupid adult’s approval of him? He shook his head. He didn’t get these people at all.

  Lindsey came forward. “I made hamburgers for dinner. Figured most boys your ages would eat those. You hungry?”

  Derek glanced up and nodded. Tony thumped his back. “You say, ‘yes, ma’am’ and ‘thank you.’”

  Derek scowled at Tony for chiding him like a toddler, but obediently mumbled, “Thank you, Mrs. Clark. Yes, please.”

  “It’s Cole. Noah and I aren’t married. But just call me Lindsey. And Tony, quit being so prudish. This isn’t the military. Relax a bit, Derek. Okay? Let’s just take this one day at a time.”

  He stared up at her and she smiled. It was a warm, welcoming smile. It was how Gretchen first smiled at him when he visited them. It was, he guessed, how normal adult women smiled at teens they didn’t know very well. It was as foreign to him as their calm voices and their insistence on directing the conversation towards him.

  She leaned across the counter and tapped her index finger against his arm with another smile. “Ignore them; they’re acting like principals on steroids. Now, do you guys like fries too?”

  Derek nodded before escaping into the living room where Max was. Sitting down on a clean couch in a clean room was a novel experience and he wasn’t sure what to do next. Dinner was strange too. They all sat down together, like Olivia’s family had. The adults drank wine and
chatted between themselves, and then stopped drinking. Nothing more came of it. There was no fighting, or screaming, or storming off, or leaving to have sex while he and Max were still present. It was very obvious these people didn’t ever do any of those things.

  He and Max kept quiet. That seemed the safest strategy. He had no idea how to talk like them or why they even bothered. What kind of people let strange teens inside their home? Teens plagued by drugs and violence, at that. How did they know he or Max wouldn’t murder them in their sleep? Or simply ransack their house and steal their priceless possessions? The weird thing was: it didn’t even occur to any of them that he and Max could do that.

  He slept fitfully on the queen-sized bed with sheets that smelled very pretty. He went downstairs the next morning in jeans and a t-shirt, unsure of what the day would bring. At least in Marsdale he knew what he was doing.

  “Good; you’re up. My friend, Will, is stopping by. He said he’d give you a job. You ready to do an honest day’s work for once in your life?”

  Tony was good at putting him in his place. He was showing Derek what they expected of him. It was something he honestly didn’t know. He shrugged. “I’ve never done any honest work.”

  Tony slapped his back. “I know. And Will was in the Special Forces, so I don’t recommend dicking around with him. He won’t tolerate any laziness or irresponsibility. He’s not going to be nearly as nice as me. I had my daughter’s influence to make me so soft with you. He doesn’t. In fact, he really doesn’t like what you did before you got here. You have to get your shit together fast here, Derek. It’s kind of a now-or-never for all of us. You ready to fly straight?”

  Was he? He could have taken the hot coffee and thrown it across the counter before storming out of there and abandoning all their crazy expectations and clean living. But the image of Olivia, lying naked and unconscious on the bed flashed through his brain, and the familiar pain started to split his head again. He did that to her. Every choice in his life had led up to that moment. And perhaps this was the only road that just might change that.