A Traitorous Heart

by Tammy Jo Burns

  She nodded her reply, but realized that he could not see her with his back turned, so she answered, her voice surprisingly clear, “Yes.”

  “I thought I told you not to leave the house.”

  “I walked them to their carriage.”

  “You were in the open.”

  “I had protection.”

  “And who else did you put in danger?”

  “What?” She asked, startled by the question.

  “Who else did you put in danger by stepping outside the house? Ramsey and a footman to be certain, but who else Tessa?” He continued, angry at her earlier suggestion and taking it out on her now by forcing her to admit her mistake.

  She mumbled an answer.

  “Who?”

  “Dru, Kala and Eric! Are you happy now?” She yelled the question back at him. “I am a horrible person. I unwittingly put others in danger and could have had them killed because I wanted to step foot outside. Is that what you wanted to hear? Send me away; lock me up! Do whatever you must to keep me away from polite society, for who knows what I will do next,” she dropped the bath sheet during her tirade and held her arms out, wrists together towards him.

  What he did next shocked them both. He grabbed his cravat off the floor and wrapped it around her wrists, tying it so that she could not wriggle free. He yanked her to him, locking his fingers in her wet locks and angling her head to receive his angry, passionate kiss. At first she fought, then found herself kissing him back with just as much venom. The ardent rage they shared in that moment exploded between them in a matter of seconds.

  Tessa felt as if her body had turned into a bonfire at his touch. He stepped back and pulled her tied hands around his neck and then reached down to release his bulging manhood from its confines. She felt his hand slip down to make certain her body had prepared itself for his invasion. Tessa bit her lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction of hearing her moan at his touch.

  She knew he would find her body ready to accept his, it had been since he first kissed her in the bath. He grabbed her upper thighs, lifting her and walking towards the wall. Tessa felt him raise her just slightly, lower himself and then slip easily home. She wrapped her legs around his waist and met his every plunge.

  Derek could feel her tightening around him, caressing him. He thought he would die if he did not find his release soon. She bit her lip, whether in passion or to keep silent he did not know, perhaps a combination of the two.

  “Damn you, scream for me,” Derek demanded, continuing his movements and pulling her lip loose from her teeth. He captured her mouth once more with his, and refused to reach his climax without her. He plunged deeper than ever, grinding himself against her and that is when he felt her spasms begin.

  “Aaahhh,” she groaned deeply in the back of her throat as her completion shook her to her very core. Only seconds later did she feel Derek empty himself into her. She captured his lips and this time no anger tinged the kiss. He walked over to the bed before turning to collapse with her draped on top of him.

  They lay like that for a while trying to catch their breaths, she completely nude except for the cravat around her wrists, and he fully clothed. Eventually he rolled her off of him and loosened her hands from their imprisoned state. He stood and buttoned his pants as she lay limp on the bed studying her husband from half-closed eyes. Tessa opened her mouth to apologize, admit she had indeed been foolish and expected him to apologize for his accusations as well. Instead, what happened next had her feeling cheap and used.

  “I just remembered I will not be able to take you to the opera this evening after all. Duty calls,” he said and walked to the door, picking up the bathing sheet on his way and tossing it in her direction.

  She grabbed it in mid-air and quickly cloaked her body. “I hate you, Blackburn,” she bit out, her heart quite clearly breaking, even if he did not hear it. “Did you hear me? I. Hate. You!”

  She could not see the imperceptible stiffening of her husband’s body or the look of torment on his face. If he had hoped to win her love, he knew in that moment all chances were gone unless some miracle occurred. Turn around now, you fool, he chastised himself. Tell her you’re sorry, you didn’t mean it, beg her forgiveness. But instead, pride and anger won out and he calmly walked through the door. He closed it just in time to hear shattering glass strike behind him followed by harsh sobbing.

  * * *

  “Ramsey!”

  “Yes, my lord?”

  “I am going to my club. Keep an eye on things and see that the countess does not step one foot outside the house.”

  “Yes, my lord,” Ramsey gave an exaggerated bow to acknowledge the order all the while giving his superior a look of contempt. Derek ignored him and left. He walked to the stable and called for Luke to saddle his horse. He looked upstairs and saw a curtain quickly fall into place. He shot the window a scowl before pulling himself onto Goliath and galloping out of the stable yard onto the cobblestone street.

  He ended up at Brook’s and went inside. He acknowledged several of the men in the club, made his way to a quiet nook and settled into one of the deep, leather chairs. Derek asked for a bottle of whisky and a glass and began to contemplate his future, or lack thereof.

  How dare Tessa think she did not belong among the ton? If she did not belong, where did he fit in? It had not been his goal in life to become an earl. The honor had fallen in his lap. Honor, he snorted taking a healthy drink of whisky, rather a curse. He filled his glass once more.

  Tessa’s comment had him thinking dangerous thoughts. He did not have any right being a part of the ton either. The only thing about him that had intrigued the members at the time was they believed him to be wealthy and single. Granted he had wealth, but now that he no longer could offer marriage, none of them would have any use for him. Not that it hurt his feelings, but he found himself losing the ability to make contacts for the War Office. My days are well and truly numbered as an agent, he considered as he realized he would now and forever be tied to a desk.

  Divorce. How dare she even think of considering that route? Barren? Why even now she could be carrying his child. That thought took his breath away. Tessa would be the mother of his children and he had taken her like a common whore. What the hell had he been thinking? He hadn’t, of course. He had let anger overcome him when he saw her offering herself up like a prisoner. In all honestly, she had seemed to enjoy the primitiveness of it as much as he had. Only afterwards, when he left her did he cheapen the act.

  He should return home right now and beg her forgiveness, but instead he tossed back another shot of whisky. Derek knew he could not spend the rest of his life without her and if that meant giving up the ton for her, then so be it. He and Tessa had no use for any of them. They would pack up and move to the country as soon as possible. As soon as they found the man trying to kill her, that is.

  “Dirty, rotten, son-of-a-bitch,” Derek muttered under his breath. A dark shadow fell across him.

  “I do so hope that is not me you are cursing under your breath.”

  Chapter 30

  He looked up into the face of Richard Rochester, Duke of Thornbrook.

  “Well, hello Uncle. How are you this evening?”

  “Apparently better than you.”

  “Cheers to that,” Derek lifted the glass and toasted the man. Richard neatly lifted the bottle while Derek drained the glass and motioned for a footman to take it away. “What brings you here?” Derek asked as the glass left his lips. He looked around for the bottle, shrugged his shoulders and signaled the footman to bring another. The duke shot the footman a menacing look and he retreated.

  “Coincidence.”

  “Are you sure about that?” He slurred his words slightly.

  “Come on Nephew,” the duke said sarcastically. “You are going to feel like hell in the morning.” Derek leaned heavily on Richard. After finishing over half a bottle of Scotch whisky, his limp seemed more pronounced. “Can you ride?” Derek gave an exaggerated
nod and Rochester sighed, “Never mind. Call a hack and tie our mounts to the back,” he instructed a footman, flipping him a coin for his efforts.

  The ride to Thornbrook’s townhouse only took about fifteen minutes considering the traffic on the street as partygoers were in the midst of traveling to their various functions. They pulled into the stable yard of Rochester and Drucilla’s home. Richard helped Derek out of the conveyance and walked him over to the stable while the lads dealt with the horses.

  “Now suppose you tell me what this is about, and why you have upset your wife and in turn upset mine.”

  “None of your damn business, and she shouldna sent you,” Derek drew out almost incoherently.

  “Oh, but it is now, my boy. You see, Drucilla is upset and I do not take kindly to that, even if you are her favorite nephew.”

  “Tessa wants a divorce.”

  “I see.”

  “No, you don’t. She thinks she doesna belong in the ton, and that she’s common.”

  “She is.”

  “No she’s not,” Derek swung clumsily at Richard with a right hook. He grabbed Derek’s arm and maneuvered it behind his back.

  “You are going to hate yourself in the morning,” Richard muttered frog-stepping Derek to the water trough. He bent him over and dunked his head in the cold water for several seconds then pulled him up sputtering.

  “What was that for?” Richard dunked him again and pulled him out leaning him against the outside stable wall.

  “Are you listening to me now?” Derek nodded, his eyes a little more focused, his breathing still a little shallow. “Tessa is common. For that matter so are you. So is Dru. You have to overcome the commonness. You have to help Tessa see that she can overcome it.”

  “How did you help Dru?”

  “I loved her, no matter what.”

  “That sounds easy.”

  “Believe me it’s not,” Richard sighed letting go of Derek. He walked over to a bench against the stable wall and sat down, inviting his nephew to join him. “Do you realize people still talk about her? And did you know that despite your aunt’s tough exterior, I have walked in on her more than one time crying because of a cut direct she received from some matron of the ton?

  I have held her as she cried, worrying how our children will be treated with her for their mother. Her prayers every night include how she hopes her children are respected and loved by all. And every time I hear her prayer, or wipe her tears I blame myself thinking perhaps if I had left her be she would be married to someone else and not have these worries.” At Derek’s look of astonishment he continued.

  “It is not going to be easy for you and Tessa. No, she is not a bastard like Dru, but the matrons hate commoners that infiltrate their ranks just as much. Look how they have come to despise the American heiresses. Tessa has taken a cherished spot that they feel one of their daughters should have had, and their daughters will cut her as well. The men will still talk to you, but only because they may need monetary or political backing in the future.

  “There will only be a handful you can trust. Those few will be your best friends, the ones that you rely on. And if I am not mistaken they are the ones you already have, and it will be a very small circle and remain so. Derek, she is scared and you should be too. It will not be an easy life by any means, but if you love her, you will find a way. You must convince her that it is worth it.”

  “But Dru loved you.”

  “Yes, after I convinced her I did not care about her birth. Do you not remember how she coached Kala to let it slip in front of your aunt Gertude’s friends?”

  “She could think of no other way to tell you.”

  “She thought she couldn’t. I went to warn her of the rumors I heard.”

  “Yes, I know, and when she told you they were true, you beat her soundly and said it did not matter.”

  “At first I didn’t.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Richard hung his head, still ashamed after all these years. “You were at school, so you do not know all the details, and Kala found the whole situation romantic, being a young girl still in leading strings,” Richard said as an aside. Derek cleared his throat to get him back on track. “Sorry. When I warned her about the rumors and she told me they were true, I promptly turned around and left.”

  “You did what?” Derek jumped to his feet, fists clenched at his side.

  “Sit down, pup,” Richard said. “I may be ten years your senior, but in your condition, I could definitely take you.” Derek slowly sat down, but refused to relax his fists. “I disappeared from the world for weeks. I was devastated. The woman I thought I loved and wanted to be the mother of my children, my duchess, came from a sullied background. How could I let that enter into the family lineage?”

  “You are an arse,” Derek bit out.

  “Believe me, I called myself much worse than that during those weeks. I finally convinced myself it did not matter, that love was all that mattered. I refused to take her as my mistress, because I could only imagine what her life must have been like, especially after her dragon of a sister-in-law filled me in on the details. She would not tell me where she went. Gertrude believed she was doing the best for everyone. So, I located your parents in Scotland.”

  “I remember.”

  “It took me almost two weeks to locate your parents, find out where Dru had disappeared to, and then make myself face her. When I did, she refused to speak to me. She insisted that I made the best decision and wished me well with my life.”

  “I cannot believe it,” Derek shook his head. In all his thirty years, he never suspected Drucilla harbored such animosity towards her birth. She loved both of her parents dearly and their side of the family. True, Gertrude could be a veritable dragon, but none of them really had anything to do with her anymore.

  “Your aunt is not as strong as she would like you to believe. I called on her a second time but found her to be gone. Her mother invited me in and we had a very long and rewarding conversation. She told me where to look for her. I went to the beach and found her sitting, staring at the surf, tears streaming down her cheeks. I will never forget the look on her face. She looked like she had given up on life,” Richard took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “That is when I whipped her soundly and told her it did not matter.”

  “How often do you have to do that?”

  “Now you are catching on. The span becomes longer as the years pass.” Derek stared into the dark night, his hands fisted together in his lap, his head against the wall. “Derek, I told you this not so that you see Dru in a different light. In fact, if you ever let on you know any of it, I will thrash you.”

  “Yes, sir,” Derek mumbled.

  “I told you this to make you wiser, so that you will know how to deal with your wife. If she is worth it, and from all the whisky you consumed this evening I assume she is, then fight for her. Do whatever you must to earn her trust. You must convince her that you are her world not the ton. And while the spankings may become fewer, saying the words ‘I love you’ increases.”

  Derek let the words of advice sink in.

  “So, Uncle, when did you become so wise?” he asked somewhat sarcastically.

  “Years of practice, Nephew,” Rochester answered back, his voice tinged with just the right amount of sarcasm and honesty.

  * * *

  “Well?” Drucilla asked anxiously as she met Richard at their bedroom door.

  “No worries, love. Derek is sleeping in one of the guest rooms.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her farther into their bedchamber.

  “Are you certain? I am just so worried about those two. They will not talk to each other, or one seems to talk and the other one clams up.”

  “I think all will be better now.”

  “I just want them to be as happy as we are.”

  “Oh I am certain they will be. In the meantime why don’t you show me just how happy you are.”

  “Oh, you wicked man,�
� Drucilla whispered as she leaned up on her toes to claim her husband’s mouth. Later, the couple lay tangled together in the sheets of their bed. They discussed Tessa and Derek, both of them understanding all the hurdles the couple had to face. Dru tried to come up with ways in which to help them, but Richard gently told her they had to do this on their own.

  He then distracted her with talk of random things that had occurred during the day. He focused on the business end of their life, not forgetting to ask her advice on several things that had come up. She responded by talking about the ball they were hosting for Tessa and Derek, and the children’s antics during the day. She had been telling him about Eric trying to chase his two older siblings about the nursery, her voice becoming dreamy. He turned quiet and thoughtful.

  “Richard, what is it?”

  “How is the baby?”

  “I told you, Eric is growing like a weed. He believes he can keep up with Samantha and Jason. And he is teething.”

  “No, love,” he kissed her gently. “I mean this baby,” he moved his hand to cradle her stomach.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she huffed.

  “Love, you sounded all dreamy just now.”

  “Oh, Richard, do you mind? I mean, we already have three wonderful children.”

  “No sweetheart, but this will be the last. I will not put you at risk anymore. I want you around with me to see our grandchildren run about and play.”

  “Oh Richard, I do love you,” she kissed him desperately.

  “I love you more,” he whispered in her ear before they shut out the world.

  * * *

  Sometime before midnight, reality intruded at the Duke of Thornbrook’s house with someone pounding on the door. Normally, the household would still be up or even out, attending parties. But after the events of the night, they had all turned in earlier than usual, somewhat exhausted. The pounding refused to stop and other than their butler, Dru was the first aroused.

  “Richard, wake up, someone’s here.”

  “What?” he moaned sleepily, pulling the pillow over his head and burrowing beneath it.