Blackout

by Meredith McCardle

  I drop onto a red leather bar stool and lean my elbows on the counter, next to a plastic takeout bag. Fragments of thoughts begin, but then they’re ripped from my mind before I can blink. My mother is well—thought gone. My father is alive—thought gone. I have a home—thought gone.

  My dad takes the Styrofoam containers from the bag and slides a bowl of soup and a sushi roll in front of me.

  I stare at the soup, a cloudy mess of broth and seaweed, and I think I might be sick. I push it away and stare at the sushi while my dad stares at me, almost as if he’s waiting to see what I’m going to do. Or maybe I’m being paranoid.

  “You know what? I’m really not hungry.” I stand and tuck the stool under the counter. “I still feel a little out of it, so I’m just going to . . . go.”

  My dad nods slowly. “Of course, Princess. You do what you need to do.” He kisses the top of my head.

  I walk to my room as fast as I can without looking too obvious, then shut the door behind me and lean my back against it. I take a breath that comes out like a gasp.

  What is happening here? This life—what is this? Two parents. Two seemingly healthy, functioning parents. They’re the silent prayer I offered up to the universe more nights than I can count. Those nights Mom locked herself in her room and wailed so loudly I couldn’t sleep, those nights I could have used a dad to comfort me, those nights I wished I had someone who loved me unconditionally.

  No.

  I do have someone who loves me unconditionally. Abe.

  I’ve lost the one guy who’s ever mattered to me. This life, this home, these parents—they’re all an illusion. I can’t stay here. This is not a dream. This is a nightmare.

  And I need to wake up.

  I will find a way to wake up.

  Acknowledgments

  Writing a book can feel like a solitary endeavor at times, but it is undoubtedly a team effort. And I am so grateful to have the following people on my team.

  Thank you to everyone (really, everyone!) at Skyscape. Marilyn Brigham, for loving the series in the first place; Miriam Juskowicz, for taking the reins and making me feel like I was in great hands; and Robin Benjamin, for wielding a (figurative) red pen and transforming this book from a hunk of dialogue into a cohesive story. Thank you to Phoebe Hwang, this book’s copy editor, and to Angelle Pilkington, this book’s proofreader, for making these pages as perfect as possible. Many thanks to everyone who worked tirelessly to market this series, especially Erick Pullen, Timoney Korbar, and Andrew Keyser. And thank you to Cliff Nielsen, Katrina Damkoehler, and the entire art department, for designing such beautiful covers.

  Thank you to my agent, Rubin Pfeffer, for your patience, wisdom, and ability to keep everything running smoothly behind the scenes.

  Thank you to Kerry Cerra, Michelle Delisle, Jill Mackenzie, Kristina Miranda, and Nicole Cabrera. I am forever grateful I sent a random e-mail to a group of strangers a few years ago, asking them to take me under their wing. It was one of the best decisions of my life. And mountains of gratitude to Susan Dennard, Corinne Duyvis, Katy Upperman, and Jenni Valentino, for loving these characters but also for not being afraid to tell me when their plotlines were seriously lacking.

  A special thanks to Christina Farley, Jessie Humphries, and Lori Lee. I couldn’t have survived this crazy year without the support and encouragement of my Skyscape ninjas. Our chat sessions keep me going! And to the authors who make up the wonderfully supportive OneFour KidLit community, thank you for keeping me sane (and usually in a hilariously entertaining way).

  Finally, I am forever grateful for my family. To my parents, thank you for your unwavering support. To Hilary and Patrick, thank you for the years of enthusiasm. To John and Jill, thank you for being the best in-laws I could ask for. To my husband, Scott, thank you for believing in me, even when I didn’t necessarily believe in myself, and for giving me a good reality check when I needed one. And to my girls, Vivian and Audrey, thank you for inspiring me every day and pushing me to be better. I love you.

  Photo © 2013 Stacey Brandon Photography and Design

  MEREDITH McCARDLE attended the University of Florida and received bachelor’s degrees in both magazine journalism and theater. She is also a graduate of the Boston University School of Law. She spent seven years working as a commercial litigator by day and writing at night before committing to writing full-time. She lives with her family in South Florida.

  Learn more: www.meredithmccardle.com.