Tom must have seen the realization dawn on my face because he said, “Yeah, you know the one.”
I sighed. “Just tell me.”
“Okay,” he said. “I think you should cut Luke some slack and get back with him.”
My eyes widened. “He is the one who broke up with me,” I said, maybe a bit louder than I should have. But gratefully no one but Tom heard me. I wasn’t sure why he felt the need to tell me this.
“Maybe, but it’s clear the guy has got it bad for you. And well, you’ve got it bad for him.”
I wanted to yell at him to stay out of my business but that’s what he’d expected. So instead I calmly said, “Thanks, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
He exhaled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people so unhappy apart.”
The knowing way he looked at me, I was forced to say something else. “You’ve been here like five minutes,” I said. That wasn’t true because we’d been in school together and the movie was longer than said time. But I really wasn’t in the mood for advice I couldn’t accept.
He gave a soft hiss of a laugh. “Yeah, that’s all the time I needed to see through all that shit.”
“I’ll see you later then,” I said dryly, trying to end the conversation.
“So party at your house tomorrow,” he said while opening his car door.
I leaned on the door prepared to close it for him. “Yeah, well, I don’t plan to be there long. Are you coming?” I asked.
“I doubt I have anything else to do,” he said lightly. He was trying to gain my favor back.
I nodded and closed the door behind him. I walked back up to the house and went inside. The three guys, that were left standing in the foyer, became quiet.
“Don’t stop on my account,” I said and quickly headed upstairs to my room to stew. I wanted to be mad at Flynn. I wasn’t sure who Flynn was dating. Whoever she was, she didn’t go to our school. Therefore if Luke ended up with her friend maybe I wouldn’t have to see him with the girl every day.
I closed my door and didn’t turn on the television. I planned to head downstairs once I heard the familiar chime from the alarm letting me know the door had been opened. I sat on my bed wondering what I do now when I saw the bracelet sitting on my night stand next to a pair of keys. The bracelet reminded me of something important. Something I had yet to make a decision about.
On my birthday I’d received a gift from Paul that I’d been unable to open right away. When I had, I’d been blow away by it. Paul probably knew me better than anyone besides Maggie. He’d made dinner arrangements at a restaurant I’d been dying to go to. See I’d loved this show called Top Chef. In one of the seasons, it had come down the line between two brothers. One of those brothers owned a restaurant in Fredrick, Maryland which wasn’t too far away. Paul had gotten us a table where we could see the Chefs at work. Reservations were made a year in advance. I knew because once that season’s shows had ended, I’d called to inquire. Today was the day of our dinner. I’d almost forgotten. Sometime around last Valentine’s Day, Paul had gotten reservations. That was something I would need to think about because that was months before Luke and I had gotten together.
Dinner was at 8pm. Paul had made no mention of it today. But I knew he wouldn’t have. There was no doubt in my mind he hadn’t forgotten. It all fell together with the message on the rose that he’d gotten me. Making my decision, I would need to get ready and find my mom’s car keys. The thought made my eyes return to the keys on my nightstand. They weren’t my keys or the keys to the Hummer. I picked them up and noticed a note.
It read, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day. My dad said to give you the keys to the 370Z once it returned from the shop. Enjoy!’ Part of me wanted to scowl. There had been an extra car in the driveway. But I hadn’t paid much attention to it because I’d been thinking about seeing Luke.
I frowned. I didn’t want expensive gifts like that from David. He was great for my mom and they were good together. She didn’t want him for his money. In fact, she’d refused to let him trade in her old Jeep Cherokee for a new car. She wouldn’t be happy with this gift. And I agreed with her. But my rational mind told me that these keys meant freedom. I could go to dinner tonight and I wouldn’t have to ride to school with Flynn anymore even though it would save on gas.
Hearing the chime on the alarm, I headed out my door. I ran smack into Luke. He hadn’t gone with Flynn. I was visibly relieved. “Where are you running off to?” he asked, moving towards me.
Stammering, I tried to think of something to say. I couldn’t tell him I was going to dinner with Paul. Paul had been the reason he’d broken up with me in the first place. Stuttering on “I” like a broken record, he cut in and said. “We need to talk,” he said.
Oh, boy, the talk. I wasn’t ready for the talk. He’d said everything and I wasn’t planning on telling him the real reason why I couldn’t be with him. I knew what his answer would be. Luke was half angel. I was part demon. Last December, I’d been made aware that Luke was risking his soul to be with me. I could damn him to hell if he stayed with me. Unfortunately for him, that was meant literally. And I wasn’t going to be the one who did it.
“Luke, there is nothing to say,” I managed to utter with my defenses up. He was too close. I could feel his body heat. I remembered how it felt to touch him. I remember all too well what it was like to kiss him. I swallowed trying not to move away out of fear. He would take it wrong and I wanted him happy. I just couldn’t be with him.
“I love you,” he said so promptly, I wasn’t able to stop him from saying the damning words. It was only the second time he’d said it. The first was right before he ended things. But it didn’t matter. The words struck me right to my heart. I felt lifted up only to be pulled down to reality.
There was nothing to stop the tear I felt come. I was out of sorts. He reached out his hand to wipe it away. His touch sent my heart into a frenzy. It had been two months since he’d touched me last. “I thought I would give you time to make up your mind about Paul. You didn’t get together with him. So I guess I was wrong,” he said.
I wanted to explain then but didn’t and couldn’t stop myself from explaining now. “I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen. I do love Paul, but more like a brother. I love you,” I said.
Those last three words I hadn’t meant to say. I shouldn’t have said them. I had no right to say them. He leaned over and god help me I didn’t stop him. His lips were soft and warm when they brushed over mine in the barest of kisses. His hand was feather light on my face. I pulled back just a few inches and bit my lip.
There were things I needed to say as well. Luke hadn’t told me what he was. I had to find out through someone else. In our last few words we shared, he’d said Flynn had talked him out of telling me. But he was here and this was happing. “Why didn’t you tell me what you were?” I asked.
He looked away then turned his warm ocean blue eyes on me and said, “I should have but Flynn talked me out of it.”
This wasn’t a total shock because he’d said it before. But it still hurt to hear him say it. “Why would you let Flynn decide if we should be together,” I said incredulously.
“It’s not that simple,” he said, still holding my hand.
But it was that simple. In the beginning I could understand. We both had no idea that either of us was more than human. But when he’d figured out just what I was, he should have trusted me enough with his own secrets. Instead, when I’d been holding back not kissing him out of fear of his life, he’d let me stew in anguish for thinking I could hurt him. “You chose to lie to me,” I said flatly
Regret was imbedded in his face. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking down and away.
God, his angelic face was too much for me to bear. I felt the weight of the cross on my back, so I pulled back from him. I needed to leave before it was too late.
“I am too,” I said making a move to step around him. He still had my hand and he tugged me
to him. He put his arm securely around my waist and his hand turned my face to meet his. The kiss made stars exploded in the back of my eyelids. They looked like glittering gold confetti as they rained down in front of my eyes. I tried to control my breathing. I knew what would happen if I lost control. His hand cupped the back of my head with threaded fingers in my hair. I had to speak with our mouths pressed together.
“Stop,” I said firmly.
“Mercy,” he said and kissed me again.
He pressed us against the wall. It had been so long since I’d been close to anyone like this. I was not shocked when my demon half began to stir. The moment I felt it, I pressed my hands which had been dangling at my side against his chest. With all the resistance I could muster, I shoved him away from me using the leverage from my back against the wall to help me. He had not expected this and stumbled back. We both stood in the hallway breathless.
“I can’t do this,” I managed to say.
He looked at me perplexed. Obviously he hadn’t expected me to resist. And if I waited a second longer I might not have been able to. “Why?” he said earnestly.
“Sexy Lexi,” I said, staring him straight in his eye. Stunned, he said nothing in response.
“I have to go,” I said hastily. I still had time to make it to dinner. I hadn’t totally decided until now. He’d been right. There were things I had to know and put to rest once and for all.
“Where are you going?” he said, looking at me curiously. He had to be wondering why I was leaving him on Valentine’s night.
“A previous engagement,” I said. I smoothed out my clothes and thought remorsefully that I might be hurting his feelings. But I pushed it aside, his soul was worth a few hurt feelings. Now, I needed to decide if I had time to change clothes.
He just stared at me for a long moment. I wondered if he’d wished he’d gone with Flynn on the double date. “Okay,” he said. Still standing there he looked like there was more he wanted to say. But he just turned and headed downstairs. I watched him go and couldn’t help thinking I’d made a big mistake.
Chapter Five
toady (n.) one who flatters in the hope of gaining favors
Driving on the highway trying not to break any speeding laws, I thought back to my destroyed birthday dinner a few months ago. When I’d finally returned back to school, I’d opened my locker surprised by the bright gift bag that was a beacon of light radiating out of my locker. I’d forgotten Paul’s unopened gift. It wasn’t until after school that day alone in my room that I finally open it. Inside was an invitation to dinner in the form of a printout of our reservation. In addition in the gift bag was a small wrapped box. Inside it was a silver Pandora charm bracelet. The single charm that dangled from it was a half of a heart with the words best friends forever inscribed on it. I’d never worn the bracelet. It lay lovingly in my jewelry box all this time until I pulled it out this morning. I’d left it on my nightstand to remind me I had a decision to make. On the way out the door, I made certain to grab it.
The printout, for our reservations for Table 21 at Volt, sat on the empty seat next to me. Tonight’s meal would be a twenty one course tasting as the name suggested. Although I was excited for the meal to come, I couldn’t stop the guilt I felt. I’d left Luke for Paul. But Luke and I weren’t yet together anymore despite the passion that we still felt for each other. He left me over his concerns for my feelings for Paul. It was another reason I had to go.
When I finally arrived at the hostess station, I was five minutes late. I was reminded of something Paul had written on the reservation. In his own handwriting, Paul said that he would come. If I didn’t show he would understand or if I wanted to share this experience with someone else I should show about five minutes late. My heart was racing. I hoped he hadn’t left. If he wasn’t there, I would text him when I was seated.
Once I’d given Paul’s name for the reservation, the hostess led me back to a room with a bird’s eye view of the kitchen. I was seated at a small table for two facing the Chef and his Sous Chef’s at work. A single pink rose lay across the table setting. Paul wasn’t there. With shaky hands, I reached into the small purse I carried for this occasion and pulled out my phone. I was about to text when a pair of legs in khakis stepped into my view. My eyes followed the long line of him up to see that terribly cute face. My heart leaped. Paul stood there. We’d seen each other in school but somehow this was different. My eyes nearly watered for the joy of seeing him. Did that mean something? I wasn’t sure yet.
“Is this seat taken?” he asked, grinning at me.
I shook my head still speechless for a second. “No,” I was able to say.
He bent over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I thought about the balm David had given me for the protection of others from me. I hadn’t put it on although it was in my pocket.
“You look beautiful,” he said, taking the seat across from me. I had taken the time to change into a conservative sweater and skirt for this evening. But the way he stared at me made me a bit nervous. I looked around to see a few other guests in this exclusive dining room watching us. I flushed from minor embarrassment. It was funny though. Luke had given me much the same look earlier and I met it with my own heat. There wasn’t the same fire inside me.
“Aren’t you the toady,” I said in response to his flattery.
Looking at me with a weird expression, he said, “Toady. Is that one of your SAT words?”
Nodding, we smiled at each other. “Yep, it means you have an agenda with your compliments.” I raised my eyebrows.
His smile widened. “That I do.”
I thought we might have time to talk but soon after Paul had taken his seat the first course was placed before us. The food, although in small portions, was artfully arranged on the plate. I almost didn’t want to eat it. Parts of me wanted to start taking pictures of every course with my phone so I would remember. And I might have if it wouldn’t have appeared like I was some country bumpkin who’d never enjoyed fine dining. But truthfully, I hadn’t. Both Flynn and Luke were loaded but we’d never gone to an upscale restaurant like this. I don’t think it was for any reason other than we stayed close to home and we didn’t live in an area where fine restaurants hung their store fronts.
I enjoyed every course a little better than the last. We talked about each item served but left all the heavy words for later. It was an amazing experience I couldn’t have shared with anyone else. It had been Paul who’d watched that season’s Top Chef every Wednesday with me. He’d been the one I’d confided to my dream of coming here. So it was fitting that he’d be the one to share this with me.
There was just one thing. I wasn’t sure how I would explain this to Luke if it ever came up. It certainly wouldn’t help in a reconciliation between us. But it wasn’t like there could be one anyway. Damnation was just a bargain I wasn’t willing to make. However at the same time, I loved him enough to be considerate of his feeling. So I was here for many reasons besides the lovely meal. I needed to explore my feeling with Paul that Luke had been so afraid of. Therefore, I had to push Luke far from my thoughts. Thinking about him always clouded my mind.
Even though it was late on a school night, I let Paul lead me hand in hand down the quaint streets of downtown Fredrick after diner. We walked until we discovered a small park. We sat on the swings vacated long ago by the children who no doubt were already in bed.
“Do you want a push,” Paul said, getting up from his seat. The next thing I knew I was laughing while swinging high in the air. I felt like a kid again with the wind rushing through my hair. When my swing finally came to a stop, he took my hands and pulled me to him.
“Paul wait,” I said when he leaned down to kiss me. He still held my hand rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. I stepped back needing to put space between us. I sat again before I said what I had to say. He let go of my hand and sat in the swing beside me. I held the chains lightly at first. “It’s getting late, I should probably go.”
&nbs
p; He bowed his head in obvious disappointment. “Even though you came, you’re not going to give this a chance, are you?” he asked.
I pushed off on the swing a little moving up and back in time with the beating of my heart. “You’ve ignored me for months. And you just come tonight expecting-” I didn’t finish.
He turned to glance off into the night before returning my gaze. Nervously he finger combed through his hair. “I was waiting to see if you and boy wonder would get together,” he said straight faced.
Eyes narrowed, I said, “Who’s boy wonder?”
“Flynn, who else,” he said.
Eyes wide now with fisted hands at my side, exasperatedly I said, “Flynn? There is so nothing going on between Flynn and me.”
Waiting for Mercy (Cambions) Page 6
