Arching an eyebrow at me, he said, “Say I believe you. Does Luke know?” Pausing, he answered his own question before I could with a bitter chuckle. “Of course he doesn’t because Flynn lives.”
A part of me wanted to ask Paul why he thought Luke would best Flynn, but I didn’t want to encourage this line of discussion. Instead, I averted my eyes and looked off into the darkness. “Have you thought about Amber,” I said. Turning to look at him I caught the sour look on his face.
Again he broke our eye connection. So there was something there between him and her still, I thought. “I never loved her,” he said, still looking away when he said it. Almost as if he wasn’t talking to me.
Stunned, I put my feet on the ground abruptly stopping my forward motion. “She’s great and don’t get me wrong, I wanted to. Maybe I’m crazy, but she’s not you,” he said. He turned back at me. I opened my mouth to speak. He lifted a hand in warning for me to let him finish. “Amber’s beautiful and she’s great, but honestly we have nothing in common. Half the time we make-out because we really have nothing to say to each other.”
Now it was my turn to say ‘Wow’, but I said it in my head. “There’s got to be something you both enjoy,” I said.
He laughed cynically. “Yeah, but that only goes so far.”
I didn’t ask him to elaborate because I really didn’t want to know. “Why are you pushing me to be with her?” he asked. “Is it because you’re getting back with the golden boy?”
Why did everyone call him that? “No,” I said defensively. “In fact, I left Luke to come be here with you.” Sometimes, I should keep my mouth shut.
He beamed. Apparently, that was confirmation enough for him. Then he frowned “You did,” he said, voice taking on the cadence of one not very happy. He was out of his swing taking steps towards me with that puzzled expression on his face.
“Yeah, but I’m not sure what that means,” I said, now holding my hands up letting him know to ease up before he touched me. We needed to talk not kiss.
“It means a lot though. But what were you doing with him?” he asked, looking at my wrist where his bracelet hung. Unintentionally, I lifted that wrist to feel the familiar puffed heart at my throat. He frowned. Luke’s necklace lay safe in my fingers and I felt a flutter in my belly. But now I understood where the frown was coming from.
“You still love him,” he said resolutely.
Unable to lie to him, I said, “Yes.”
“But you love me too?” he question, like he wasn’t sure.
Still answering truthfully, I said, “Yes.”
“How can you love us both?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. I mean, was a person’s heart limited to share love with only one person? I didn’t think so because I also loved my mom and Maggie as well.
“He left you,” he implored.
“So did you,” I said thinking back to that night when he’d left not letting me explain.
“But I’m here now,” he pleaded.
Stating the facts, I said, “So was Luke before I came here,”
“But you came to me,” he said, voice cracking on bitterness.
I nodded. There was nothing more to say. We’d already covered this ground. I moved away with careful, deliberate steps as I crossed back to where he stood just a few feet away. His eyes widened then dimed in a wait see mode. Something in his expression reminded me of the past. It was then I noticed he hadn’t worn his signature baseball hat tonight.
The things I come to learn tonight I did. I knew I loved Paul once the way he wanted me to love him now. Heck, I was definitely attracted to him. We’d dated before we became friends. I also knew that my love for him had changed to one more of friendship. Feeling tired of it all, I went and sat back on the swing.
His knees hit the dirt in front of me. Now I was looking down into his stormy eyes. “I know I’m only human. But there has to be a way for us to be together. Your dad was human.”
“Paul,” I said. My voice was full of sincerity. I had to stop this thing between us.
“Hear me out Mercy. It’s always been you. I’m sorry it took me so long to see. But there is no one else but you. I breathe for you.”
As flattering as his words were, something also wasn’t right. He sounded almost desperate. “Paul,” I tried again.
Still on his knees, he pushed off to his feet raising himself so we would be eye to eye. In doing so, his hand grazed across my knee. Such a simple touch had me catapulted in the passenger seat of my body. When Paul went to kiss me again, I couldn’t stop it.
The succubus was in heaven as she began to draw Paul’s life force inside me.
Chapter Six
scurrilous (adj.) vulgar, coarse
I would be lying if I didn’t say it was an amazing rush to have Paul’s life force coursing through me. The demon in me was reveling in the power intake when I slipped in to take control. Even in control, the addictive feeling of the power high made it a struggle for me to pull away. Thankfully, we only had lip to lip contact. Breaking free, Paul pleaded with me to continue as if he was getting something out of it as well. It was really creepy how lost he looked when I sent him home. It took me looking at him eye to eye with a stern voice to send him away. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I had some sort of control over him.
Walking in the house, I was glad the lights were off. That was good because Luke’s car was outside. I’d hoped I wouldn’t run into him after leaving him to go to dinner with Paul. I turned to close the door as quietly as I could and engaged the alarm. When I turned back, I jumped.
With my hand clutching at my chest, I exhaled the breath I’d held in fear. Nervously, I let my hand fall to my side. I just continued to look at him while we both decided to see who would speak first.
In his hand was a glass filled with amber liquid. The other hand carried a bag of chips. I broke first. “Midnight snacking?” I asked.
It was a little after midnight. I’d seen the time on the dash before I’d gotten out of the car. “Yeah,” he said. “Something like that.”
Wanting to lighten the mood I said in my best old lady impression, “Young man, don’t you have school tomorrow.” I had a grin on my face before I’d realized the mistake I made that left the door open to his next question.
“I could ask the same of you,” he said, in the mild way he had of speaking.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I said, matching his tone but not answering the question. I looked away and headed towards the stairs.
He had been headed in the same direction and we met at the bottom at the same time. “Mercy,” he said.
Before he could say more and complicate things on a devastating level, I said, “Luke, don’t. I need to go to bed.”
He’d heard the pleading in my voice and his face changed expressing to something like total unhappiness. The hand he’d gently placed on my arm when he’d balance the chips and drink in one hand fell away.
I couldn’t take his expression and moved up the stairs quickly getting to my room and closing the door. In the safe confines of my space, my shoulders dipped and sagged. If he only knew how hard it had been for me not to turn into his arms and tell him how much I missed and needed him.
My hurt changed to anger. Not at him, but at the life I hadn’t chosen. Why me? Why was I born this way? I pulled off my sweater and tossed it to the floor. Then I took a hair band from my dresser and pulled my hair on top of my head in a loose ball, so I could wash the little makeup I wore off my face.
Before I pulled off my pants, I looked at my floor where my sweater lay in a heap. That wasn’t like me. I wasn’t a clean freak, but I didn’t have very many nice things. So I was used to taking care of my meager belongings. Was I becoming too comfortable living in Flynn’s house? I wasn’t rich even though his dad married my mom. I hadn’t expected anything to change and it hadn’t really. Okay, so David had given me Flynn’s car that just came out of the shop. But really, what
was he going to do with it. In my mind, I was just borrowing it. So I bent over and picked my sweater off the floor. I wouldn’t treat my things this way.
When the door opened, I turned around with my sweater balled in my hand expecting Luke to be standing there demanding to talk to me. Instead it was Flynn. I immediately covered my chest with my clutched sweater barely covering my pink bra. It was almost like wearing a bikini top, but something about Flynn in my room with me just in my bra didn’t go together.
Flynn just eyed my arms before returning his gaze to my face. I grimaced. “I’ve seen boobs before,” he said with a low chuckle.
“Not mine, you haven’t,” I said with clenched teeth. “Keep your scurrilous words to yourself. Now get out.” I wanted to point but that would mean exposing myself. So I stood there with narrowed eyes.
“If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all,” he said wryly with raised eyebrows. “And what the hell is scurrilous?”
“Well, go find another pair to ogle. I’m sure that’s no problem for you, even at this time of night. And I’m so certain the girls you date can help you out with the definition of that word,” I added venomously and sarcastically at the same time.
“I might just do that. But first you’re going to tell me where you were,” he said slow and low, all traces of humor gone.
I shook my head slightly. I could feel some of my hair coming free of the band on my head. “That’s none of your business,” I said. There was no way in hell, I was telling Flynn I was just out with Paul. He’d surely go tell Luke straight away. And while it didn’t matter because we weren’t together, I wanted to be the one to tell him if it came to that.
“We have school tomorrow and I’ve been waiting up for you?” he said, in a dead cold tone.
He couldn’t be serious. “Like you go to bed early,” I said. “Besides you’re not my father and I don’t owe you any explanation. You don’t tell me where you’re going.”
“I’m in charge while they're away,” he said, referring to my mom and his dad.
“No way in hell you’re in charge of me,” I said this time shaking my head a little more furiously. My hair tumbled down and in my face, but I could do nothing short of running in the bathroom and that would be too much like hiding. If I turned around to straighten my hair my reflection in my dresser mirror would give him a good view. So I stood looking quite silly I’m sure, covering my breast with a mass of hair in my face. I tried to shake it away with some dignity.
While doing so he stepped forward. When he brushed the tendrils of hair from my face with light fingers, I shivered. Goose bumps erupted over my skin and there was no way to hide it.
“Mercy,” he said. His voice this time was different. His hand was now out of my hair and on my shoulder.
“Get out,” I said, in a whisper all the fight let out of me.
He put his hand on my chin lifting my face so we were looking directly into each other eyes. “I don’t want to,” he said.
“Luke’s down the hall,” I retorted, voice barely audible. I felt so silly not to be immune to his charms.
“He’s not your boyfriend,” he said softly.
“No, he’s your best friend,” I said, in a hiss of words. “Isn’t there some kind of code against that?” Still my voice was soft. He was too close and there was no need to yell, at least not yet.
He let out a bitter laugh, letting go of my chin. “Not when I saw you first.”
My eyes widen. “What do you mean?” I struggled to say.
“It means exactly what I said.” He looked at me in ways he shouldn’t. “And I meant what I said, Webster. You know, that you’re important to me.”
I was about to speak when something stopped me.
“Mercy,” a questioning voice said somewhere behind Flynn. But there was only one other person in the house beside Flynn and I that I knew of, that was Luke.
Flynn looked me in the eye like he was telling me something. Then he turned and silently left the room. Luke barely stepped aside to let Flynn out. Our eyes were locked again. This couldn’t keep happening. My arms were tired of the position they held. I was tired of fighting everything I was feeling. I dropped my hands. But I knew, unlike Flynn, Luke’s eyes would remain on mine. I turned away and leaned on my dresser. Dropping my head letting my hair cascade down to hide my expression I stayed like that only a second before I heard the click of my door. I didn’t have to look up to know Luke was gone.
Chapter Seven
acquiesce (v.) to agree without protesting
I woke launching myself up in a sitting position on my bed. It was still dark. The dream had begun much the same as it had every night, but ended very differently. In the dream, Luke’s hand on my arm didn’t end gently, but fierce with a fire that I put in his eyes. In my dream, I’d damned him.
The fire that blazed in his dream eyes took me back to the night of my mom’s wedding to David this past weekend. I lay back on my bed letting visions of the memory fill my mind. There weren’t many guests on my mom’s side beside me, Maggie, Paul and a few of her friends from work. Most of the guests were David’s friends and business contacts. Neither, my mom or David had any extended family to speak about. The one group I shouldn’t have been surprised by the invite was Luke and his mom which I wasn’t really. They’d been long time family friends of Flynn and David. Who I didn’t expect was Luke’s father and new stepmother.
I closed my eyes willing myself back to sleep. But I couldn’t help remembering what happened that Saturday evening. Flynn was David’s best man and I was my mom’s maid of honor. The wedding was simple that way. I wore a peach dress that shimmered towards pink. I think my mom called it salmon colored which seemed fitting. It was a strapless straight dress that ended slightly above the knee. It was as simple and uncomplicated as the wedding. It belted at the waist with a ribbon in the same color. My hair was pulled artfully back with a waterfall of curls hanging loose in the back and for good measure a few fell framing my face. This was all thanks to a trip to the salon as a part of the wedding festivities, at least my mom thought so.
The wedding was beautifully short. But the reception wasn’t. Initially, I’d sat at the head table with the rest of the wedding party that totaled four. There weren’t that many around my age, so the ones there gathered at one table of twelve scooting chairs around to accommodate everyone. I’d wished Maggie could have sat with me and kept me company but she was with her plus one, Brent.
Luke’s demeanor showed him to be completely miserable for a long time while looking mournfully at his mother and scornfully at his father. I didn’t understand Luke’s father or his presence at the wedding. I’d never met the man, but when he greeted my mom and David, no one introduced us. I had been standing there, near enough for my mom to have called me over. But she didn’t. His father was somewhat scary, so I didn’t press the issue.
The grief of misery on Luke’s face tore at my heart. I wanted to talk to him, but it wasn’t my place anymore. So I stayed away. I tried talking myself into a place where we could be friends, so I could go to him. But realistically, I was afraid that he’d push me away. I wasn’t sure I could handle the rejection.
After numerous toasts, including Flynn’s, I said as few words as I could. Then it was time for the first dance. When the newlyweds got on the dance floor, I have to admit the love I saw between them nearly brought me to tears. I was so happy for my mom, but terribly sad for myself. Flynn’s words came tumbling back. He had said to me, ‘You of all people know better than anyone else that love is not possible for you and me’. And he was right. When he came and sat next to me to wipe my tears away and hand me a napkin, I let him.
I turned to him, searching his eyes right before the master of ceremonies voice boomed through the microphone. ‘Now will the Maid of Honor and Best Man’ please join Mr. and Mrs. McCallister on the dance floor.” All eyes turned to us. Flynn’s hand was on mine with his other hand wiping another stray tear from my face. We broke ap
art like we’d done something wrong which I was sure only made us look guilty. I flashed an innocent smile and nodded to Flynn. We stood and I let him guide me to the floor.
He placed one hand on my waist the other on my shoulder. We kept a respectful two inches apart and glided while ‘At Last’ played instrumentally by the live band in the background.
“Are you embarrassed?” Flynn asked.
I shook my head and tried not to gaze in his eyes. It would only make the situation more awkward. But I had nowhere to look, afraid I might meet Luke’s eyes. So I stared intently at the white rose pinned on Flynn’s impeccable tux. It was the first time I’d seen him in one and he looked amazing. But that was to be expected.
“Are you worried what Luke is going to think,” Flynn said still in a hushed tone.
Waiting for Mercy (Cambions) Page 7
