by Pamela Ann
Dressed in a matching loose white tracksuit, I grabbed my phone and room keys before heading out the door barefoot, tiptoeing toward the elevator. Anton lived one level above me. His was a larger apartment with a much better view, which made it the perfect rendezvous spot for our lazy Sundays.
As expected, he had his apartment door already cracked open, an impatient yet gracious gesture as they waited my arrival.
“I’m here, I’m here!” I declared as I hurried into his place before securing the door behind me.
Anton gave me a sheepish look. “How was the party last night? I tried to come, but something came up. I’m super-duper proud of you, honey. You know that, don’t you?” He clearly needed to shave his beard, but he seemed not to care, closely resembling a cub.
Anton wasn’t one to socialize, so his excuse, or lack thereof, was already expected. As for Kells, she had worked late, so she couldn’t have made it. Her schedule deferred. If there was a music video, promotional event, or award shows, she was booked. She was a brilliant makeup artist. But even though she had a mad career, she was adamant about getting Sundays off. She said she needed it to recoup and reenergize.
Glancing toward the other girl across the room who was clearly too keen on her waffles and fried chicken, I reverted my gaze back to my scruffy cub of a friend. “I don’t want to be rude, but can we skip the talk for a minute? Um, where’s my food?”
Cue the angry growl of my stomach. It made me flinch in annoyance. I hated to be this desperately hungry. One should never push their body to the limits of desperation. It hadn’t been worth the dress.
River thought otherwise, my stupid brain butted in.
“Your grub’s on the coffee table.” Anton directed toward where Kells was situated with no care in the world, eating her heart out.
Without much ado, I marched toward the heavenly smell and happily sighed as I sat down across form Kells. Anton had three sofas, so it gave us enough privacy while we comfortably watched our show.
Chicken and waffles from Roscoe’s. The first bite sure felt like ambrosia on my tongue.
“Mmm … This is the life.” My tummy happily obliged.
“Hollywood’s going to give you an eating disorder, Cara.” Kells gave me a worried frown. “Consider yourself warned.”
Glaring at her, I scarfed down a piece of waffle. “Don’t think so,” I mumbled before stuffing more into it.
“Dating Parker surely would.” Kells couldn’t resist herself, knowing how neurotic and controlling Parker could be.
Anton made an overly dramatic sigh before throwing himself on the sofa situated between us. “You can do better than that guy, but whatever makes you happy makes me happy, I guess.”
My eyes flickered between my friends while cautiously chewing my food. They never warmed up to Parker, and the sentiment was mutual. I tried not to merge both and kept them separate. Well, as much as I could manage, anyway.
Recognizing my uncomfortable state, Kells gave me a heartening look. “Did anything newsworthy happen last night?” Kells inquired, changing the subject before grabbing the remote and beginning to scan the screen for our show.
Umm, nothing that I want to confess.
Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to my food. “Hmm, no, not really. Same old, same old.” Lies. Pure and utter lies.
“So, you haven’t had sex with Parker, then?” Kells asked playfully with a perfectly arched brow, properly displaying her amazing features, and that included her brows.
“Not yet, no.” Was it a crime to wait? A month wasn’t enough for me to get to that point yet. Call it archaic, but what the hell? It was my body; my decision.
“Why ever not?” Anton derided. “Don’t care much for him, but even I can say that he’s beddable.”
Kells smirked before grinning at our friend. “At this point, Anton, you’d hump anything that has a dick.”
He flung a plastic fork at Kells. “Sad, but true. If I don’t lose any baby fat anytime soon, I’ll forever be an emancipated virgin.”
“Dream on. You’re as virgin as I am,” Kells interjected.
Kells was a carefree soul, but she never failed to tangle herself with peculiar men. The last one was secretly married, and the second she had found out, she dumped the idiot. It was difficult to trust anyone around Los Angeles. People around here were a different breed of human. One surely wouldn’t know what the other person could be hiding. Maybe that was why I didn’t mind Parker so much. At least I knew what I was getting with him. Most importantly, the man wasn’t married.
“Parker and I are fine … for the moment. I’m in no rush to get there, you know. I want to take this slow, and I think he gets that.”
“Are you sure about that? Men like Parker don’t wait out for long. They know what they’ve got, and they use it to their advantage. And that includes knowing how the opposite sex reacts and fawns over them. I’m sure he’s not short on that.”
“I’m ready when I’m ready. Case closed.” I would know when the right time presented itself. To be honest, after seeing how badly I reacted to my ex’s touch, how could I fathom doing the deed with a man who had the quarter of River’s sex appeal and charm? True, I was attracted to Parker, but after being severely reminded of my first love, he palled in comparison.
It was an unkind thing to do, comparing your current beau from your last. Regardless, to this day, no one came close to River. Still, I couldn’t forget how everything had crumbled due to his inability to protect me and our relationship.
Parker was second best, and although my heart longed for the golden days of the past, there was no turning back. Consequently, I had to continue on living and see if this relationship with Parker could blossom into something worth nurturing.
They said being positive would enhance one’s outlook on life. Therefore, I must train my mind to see the good and caution the bad in every given situation.
Later that night, I received a call from my boyfriend, informing me that he was coming over tomorrow for a much-needed time together. He was right; there were a few kinks we needed to iron out.
Chapter Five
“What’s your schedule like for the next month?” Parker gracefully wound his pasta with his spoon, neatly weaving it before slipping it into his mouth.
We were having an early dinner at his stunning home in Toluca Lake. Even dressed in casual clothes, Parker looked insanely handsome, closely resembled a young Ryan Philippe, with the sex appeal to boot.
At ease with each other’s company, I seemed reticent as my thoughts ran with the usual plight—River and our intense encounter. Though Parker hadn’t mentioned what had happened at the party, I could sense that something was amiss with him. He was curious.
Back to the question at hand, I pondered what it entailed. Addison, my agent, hadn’t clued me in just yet.
“I have a meeting lunch tomorrow; I’ll know then.” Particularly curious, I placed my fork down and reached for my wine glass. “Why? Is there anything in particular you want to know about?”
“I just want to coordinate our schedules; that’s all,” he assured. “Do you have any new projects coming up?”
Good question. Did I?
“I’m not sure …” I lingered, wondering if there were new projects between my contracted shoots for Clover. Most actors did, but I was new to the industry. “What’s yours like? Will you be busy?”
Parker had already made a name for himself, so his schedule was hectic compared to mine.
He nodded before taking hold of the wine bottle and refilling both our glasses. “Yes, actually, but it’ll be shot in New York and Vegas. We can see each other whenever we have some free time.”
Synchronizing our calendar was entailed when dating an actor. Best I got used to it.
“That would be nice. I’d love to explore New York. I’ve been there once for a press junket, so all work and no play.” I haven’t been to many places. I should change that. With my steady checks from the show, I
could travel to places I had only dreamt about.
“I’d love to show you around. It’s one of my favorite places in the world. The scene is just different compared to here.” He grinned before toying with his wine glass, showcasing his fabulous set of teeth and great smile. “So, what were you and your friends up to yesterday?”
“Netflix. You know, the works,” I immediately replied. He knew what my Sundays were filled with. Nothing had changed on that front.
“You really need to socialize more,” he suggested softly, throwing me a curious stare and studying my reaction. “In fact, we’ll go out tonight so I can introduce you to a new set of friends.”
It was the way he delivered the last sentence, like my present ones were not worthwhile.
“What’s wrong with the current ones I have? I’d love to hear you explain yourself.” My strained voice didn’t hide how provoked I was.
Hastily placing my utensils down, I took a moment to tell myself to calm down before my crazy came out and decided to throw the freshly refilled glass at his arrogant face.
He shrugged, pretending he hadn’t just stated something offensive. “Nothing. Nothing at all. But if you want to be known, Cara, you know you have to mingle with your own kind now.”
And what kind were Anton and Kells?
Teeth clenched, hands bunch up, I was ready to raise Hell. “They are my kind. How dare you suggest I drop them because they’re not Hollywood enough in your own opinion.”
“It’s being who’s who that matters here. You should surround yourself with people that can enhance your image—be seen and photographed with the ‘it’ people, and not with a repressed faggot and the tragic homewrecker.”
How dare he use that against me.
It was unfortunate he had been there when Kells unloaded her disastrous relationship. What a total douchebag move. Clearly this man didn’t know me. Otherwise, he would never have uttered that moronic nonsense.
“Sorry, but that’s not why I began acting. I don’t want to be chased down by paparazzi and get hounded every second I’m out grocery shopping. If that’s the kind of life you strive for, then I think we should end this now before this gets any worse.” There was more to life than competing with whoever had the most social media followers. I got that they were important, but I wasn’t a shallow person, either. It just wasn’t me. “You better get used to it, or we have to rethink this entire relationship altogether.”
“I was only suggesting. I didn’t mean to offend you, Cara.” Unfazed by my embroiled state, he reached for my hand, but I withdrew it from the table. “I’m sorry.”
Too late. For a moment, I had thought he was different. Oh yeah, he was different all right. Not in the sense I had believed. Could he already be this rotten, or was this just a random thought that shouldn’t have been said out loud?
“Baby, please forgive me.”
I kept staring at him, wide-eyed and in deep thought, mind racing as to what I should do next. Goodness, how shallow can he be? Maybe he meant well, but what he said made me feel weary of him. But the question was: was it enough to break it off?
He had apologized and seemed sincerely sorry. But God help me if Parker dared to suggest any more callous ventures down the line. I wouldn’t give him a pass for a second time.
“I’ll forgive if you don’t ever bring this subject up again, and if you promise never to call them horrendous names.”
The shadow over his face was replaced with relief before he got up and circled the table. Cupping my face, he placed an overeager kiss on my lips. “I promise. Thank you,” he breathed out, reassured.
I knew it was weak of me to brush it off, but after the week I’d had—not to mention the tryst with River—I owed Parker another chance. Though I would never forget. It had showed a different Parker, one who was strategically hidden. I just hoped there would be no repeat.
For the rest of the evening, instead of going out to meet his friends, we opted to go to the movies. And for the first time tonight, I noticed how he adored the limelight and how comfortable he was when a couple wanted to take a picture with him. I needed to get used to this. I was just glad I wasn’t all that known.
Before heading to our designated theater, I dashed to the ladies’ room while Parker went in search of our selected seats. It was the most inconvenient time to have my monthly visitor arrive. Thank heavens for vending machines, or I would have had to trot back in search for Parker and ask him to drive me to the nearest pharmacy. I could easily see how annoyed he would be. He didn’t come off as the type to go the ladies’ aisle and purchase a box of tampons. He would most likely die of embarrassment and quit being together if someone took a photo of him and posted it on Instagram. The very image made me smile wickedly with glee as I cleaned up.
Once finished, I exited the restroom and pulled out my phone, needing to check the time. Much to my surprise, River’s name stared back at me. He had left me a message.
Staring at the screen, I was out of breath as my shaky fingers punched the message tab to open the folder. I just saw his name; why in God’s name was I shaking like a blizzard had just hit me?
Hello, it’s me again. I know you’re probably sick of me, but I just wanted to say that I’m boarding soon and wanted to let you know that I’m leaving LA. You probably don’t care, anyway, but I felt like I should tell you. Anyhow, it was good seeing you again. I hope you’re okay. I miss you.
He missed me. That single line brought a fresh wave of melancholy. Lamenting on what once was and what had been lost, I willed myself to tuck my phone back into my purse and not respond.
Though I sat next to Parker for the next three hours, him holding me close, my mind was elsewhere. It was drawn to him and what he might feel knowing he would never get a reply from me.
Chapter Six
Lunch with my agent, Addison Bennett, was always a pleasant meeting. She was such an animated character who radiated warmth and elegance that I couldn’t help being enlightened whenever I was with her. Her auburn hair perfectly fitted her personality. Though she was my agent, she became more than that. She had developed into someone I could lean on when I began to doubt myself, motivating me to be the best and to always strive to better my craft. On a personal level, I could confide without judgment. Given my background, I found it more than difficult to trust anyone, so it went without saying that I was grateful for her friendship.
We were in our usual spot, dining at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills. The retro-chic black and white flooring, superb menu, and famous patrons made this into one of Los Angeles’ trendy stomping ground.
In the midst of our meal, Addison informed me that Clover got picked up for two more seasons, and they wanted to immediately shoot in the next three to four months. The location was San Francisco, so it wasn’t a hardship for me to commute once or twice a week, depending on how much screen time I was scheduled for.
I would be pretty much locked-in contract and wouldn’t be able to entertain any other projects while filming. I didn’t mind it very much. I loved the cast and crew, and I couldn’t wait to see what the writers had in store for the show and my character, Janet Samuels.
Bright green eyes sparkled back at me, enthused. “Now we’re done with business, let’s talk about your life. How are things going with Parker?” she asked as she jovially sipped her dirty martini.
She seemed to have warmed to Parker. He was a total charmer if he wished to be. She wasn’t immune to it, unlike Kells and Anton.
“It’s …” I trailed off. How should I put it? “Well, it’s definitely going.” To where exactly, I wasn’t quite sure yet.
“Oh?” She arched a brow. “Anything I need to know?”
Since she asked, I had something else to say on that matter. “Well … he sort of suggested I should have a new set of friends, specifically those who are popular and would put me in paparazzi-ville.”
“He’s one of those, is he?” Addison didn’t even bat an eyelash. “And I guess that put you of
f?”
“Of course it did. What decent person wouldn’t be?” Openly talking about this brought back the fire and fury that had been suppressed overnight after Parker had apologized. “I don’t know. I guess I never realized how shallow the guy I’m dating is until yesterday.” A part of me chided myself that I should have seen this coming for miles. However, I was too charmed with his physical attributes and sweet nothings to see what lied underneath.
Seeming to pick up on my thoughts, Addison asked with a knowing smile, “Aren’t you glad you don’t have an agent who pushes you to be someone you’re not?”
“I’m so very glad. You have no idea.” My thoughts immediately went straight to a different agent, one who had orchestrated all those tabloid sensations just to get his client on the map.
Ari Braun was the devil himself. He wouldn’t let anything pass him. He controlled every aspect of River’s life, and I wouldn’t put it past him to dictate who he should and shouldn’t bed. It was unimaginable to have someone like that in my life, and it surprised me that River would put up with it.
After the meeting, I was on my way home when my phone rang. Distracted by oncoming traffic, I activated Bluetooth.
“Hello?” I greeted with a raspy voice.
“Well, how did your meeting go?” Parker’s smooth voice responded back.
I wanted to sigh but refrained. Maybe he had good intentions. He did want the best for me, didn’t he? I shouldn’t be irked that it was the first thing he said.
“Great. We got renewed for two more seasons. It’s amazing.” It was. I couldn’t describe the whirlwind of emotions I was experience. All I could say was that it was extraordinary. And yes, I could admit that this rush of exhilaration could be addictive.
“Good. That’s what I was hoping to hear. Congratulations, baby. How does it feel to be a part of a successful show? Not a lot of people can say that, you know. And maybe you should speak to the writers and ask if they can give you a challenging role, something that might get you noticed for an Emmy.”
