Raene and the Three Bears (The Alder Tales Book 2)

by RS McCoy

  Parson clutched his chest with laughter. He held no small amount of animosity toward the believers in his clan, at their strange and useless habits, but laughing about them with Raene filled him with something else entirely.

  And then, as suddenly as a boulder falling from the sky, she stopped laughing. Raene went quiet in the span of a single heartbeat.

  “What’s wrong?” When she shook her head in protest, Parson pressed her. “Raene—”

  “This is nice.”

  “What is?”

  “This. Talking about home and Terra and…” Her voice fell away like it was stolen.

  Parson pushed away enough to look at her, desperate to see her eyes. He didn’t understand, but in those deep blue eyes, he found the answer. “And now you don’t know what to do because it’s nice with him, too.”

  In seconds, the mood in the tent shifted from light to dark. A single thought of Hale crushed any enjoyment he might have hoped to have the rest of the night.

  Raene wiped at her cheeks and nodded. It made him smile and killed him all at once. Only minutes after a hunt, she was crying, as he knew she would be. But she was thinking of Hale, and the idea of it made Parson hate himself.

  It was far too late, he knew. He’d let her go at first glance, and she’d grown close to Hale. She was wearing his rings and sleeping in his tent. Hale who was everything Parson wasn’t. He would never share her need for the hunt as Parson did, but there was so much goodness and honor in his youngest brother. Parson was outmatched in every way.

  “I hate it. I hate this.” She said it like a secret. Parson momentarily thought she meant him, until she continued, “I don’t know what to do. You make me feel one way, and he makes me feel another. And I like both of them. And every time I try to make up my mind, you both do something to make me question everything. No matter what I do, I’m betraying someone. I hate being in the middle of this.”

  “Hey, it’s not your fault. The situation is complicated, but that’s not your fault. I’m sure I hold the majority of the blame here.” He said it as a joke to hide how true it was. Parson had played no small part in muddling her decision.

  “Did you ever have anyone else?” Raene’s tear-soaked voice was little more than a whisper.

  Parson slid beside her once more. He couldn’t look at her eyes as he told this story. “Her name was Darsa of the Renemy Clan, the Lemur Clan of the Alderwood. For a while, our clans were camped within walking distance. I found her one night, out on a hunt, and we started sneaking out to see each other.”

  Raene’s breath fell against his chest as she asked, “And then you moved away?”

  Parson knew he should have agreed. He should have left it at that, but he was so close to getting it off his chest, he couldn’t stop now. “She was only twenty, with no real prospects for marriage. It didn’t seem like an issue to—”

  Raene surprised him and settled a hand on his stomach, moving it back and forth in a comforting motion. She slid her palm up his chest, skirting the edges of the bandages placed over the deep scratches she had given him the night before. Her voice was low as she asked, “Did you love her?”

  Parson shook his head. “No. I told Da I did, but I didn’t. It didn’t seem right to leave her carrying my child. I begged and begged Da to let me marry her, to let her live with us, but he refused. He made an offer out of respect, but it was so low he had to know they wouldn’t accept it. He never even said why.”

  “Did he know?” Raene asked, her fingertips skating across the tattoo inked on his neck.

  “He’s the only person who ever knew. We moved away a few weeks later and haven’t been back since. I still don’t know what ever became of them.”

  “You have a child you’ve never met?” Raene’s breath was warm on his chest, comforting though her question gutted him entirely. Then, she reached up and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry. Da should have let you marry her. If you wanted it, then he shouldn’t have stopped you.”

  Parson was tempted to write it off as more of her over-polite nonsense, but he sensed nothing but authenticity.

  He squeezed her tighter. It felt so unbelievably good to share this with her, knowing she wouldn’t tell anyone, one more secret to add to their long list. And she didn’t hate him for abandoning Darsa or his child—a son or daughter, he didn’t even know that much. But the weight, the horrible heaviness had eased somewhat, and Parson couldn’t help but squeeze her in his arms.

  Raene nestled into his shoulder. “My mother died when I was little. Not quite a year after I was born. I don’t remember her. My father was too full of wine to bother much with me.” Raene said the words over his chest like a prayer, like something sacred she’d held inside for too long. Parson lay motionless and listened, refusing to give her reason to stop. “I spent most of my time with Kaide’s parents, but they were so involved with politics, we didn’t see much of them. The staff raised us, mostly.”

  “I’m sure you miss them.” Parson felt like an utter fool. He’d been so torn up over Blossom’s departure, he hadn’t even considered that Raene had given up far more. Parson had lost one person, while Raene had lost all of hers. And to put him to shame, she’d done it with her head held high, with a grace he couldn’t manage if he had ten lifetimes to figure it out. She was eighteen, so young, and yet she was so much more than he would ever be.

  For a long while, he held her tight, refusing to let go and refusing to go farther. His chest ached with a low rumbling storm he couldn’t quiet. Parson wanted this. Wanted her. But getting her was a betrayal to his brother.

  Even this stolen moment in the depths of the Alderwood would kill Hale. No matter what he did, someone would be hurt. Parson could give up the only person he’d grown to care about in his adult life, and his brother could be happy with his new, lovely bride. Or he could let this thing grow—whatever this was with Raene—and hope his brother understood, hope Hale had the good heart to forgive him, though even in the depth of his thoughts, Parson knew better.

  Either way, one of them was going to lose. One of them was going to get shattered.

  So Parson squeezed her tight while he could, feeling the pressure and warmth of her frame against his side. Her breaths fell across his chest, and before he knew it, they were slow and rhythmic, her shoulders rising and falling under his arm. Parson kissed her crown and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to claim him, too.

  Stupid

  “GET ENOUGH SLEEP?” Parson asked her as he hitched a horse to the cart.

  Raene followed behind, bringing the next horse in the line with her. “I’m fine. Did you?” She didn’t want to tell him she’d slept more soundly in the tiny tent in the middle of the Alderwood than she had since even before her transformation. In her own Pyro clothes, Parson’s warmth warded off the night chill. A day of hunting had quieted her tiger totem to a tolerable level.

  A night of sleep had done more damage than all the sleepless ones, as if her body realized what it had been missing. It was almost painful to get up this morning. Raene moved with all the zeal of a sloth.

  “You look tired,” Parson offered.

  “Well your hair is a mess,” she retorted, tying off the reins and marching back for the next horse.

  Parson caught her by the arm. “I mean, you can sit in the cart if you’re not up to ride today. There’s no shame in taking a break when you need it.”

  Raene pulled her arm from his grasp, all too aware he could have used his strength to make her stay. Still, she nodded. The allure of a few extra hours of sleep was too good to pass up.

  They finished cleaning up their temporary camp and headed out. This time, Raene’s cinnamon mare followed behind the cart.

  Raene sat on the cart bench beside Parson. The alder trees towered overhead as always, looming, watching, pressing downward with their ancient wisdom, darkening their path with shadow. Only a few beams of sunlight managed through their dense, summer canopies.

  She soon realized the cart bench was much
too short to lay across. Parson took up a good third of it, not that it mattered. The bumping motion and thundering hooves prevented her from anything remotely resembling sleep.

  Without provocation, Parson reached out a hand and clutched the back of her head. He pulled her against his shoulder and kissed her hair. Raene didn’t have the energy to put up even a bit of fight.

  His fingers found their usual spot, stroking the back of her head, weaving through her hair. “Lay down for a while. You look miserable.”

  “You’re so full of compliments today,” Raene replied, her tone dripping in sarcasm. But the movement of Parson’s hand and the burning tiredness behind her eyes made Raene collapse and rest her head on his thigh. It wasn’t exactly comfortable—her legs were squashed tight on the too-short bench—but it wasn’t enough to make her sit back up.

  Parson kept one hand on the reins, easily controlling he six-horse team with little more than the motion of his wrist. The other hand held Raene’s shoulder, occasionally stroking down a stray lock of hair. Raene couldn’t sleep, but she found herself deep in the trenches of relaxation.

  “Was your mother Aero?” Parson’s voice broke her from her trance.

  “What?” Raene rubbed her eyes, still sleepy and confused.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Parson bowed his head low enough to kiss her brow. When she assured him she hadn’t been asleep, he finally said, “Your hair isn’t dark like a Pyro. Aeros have white hair, but yours is sort of gold.”

  “My father’s father was Aero,” she replied with a yawn. “My mother was a well-respected Pyro woman from the elite Tiger Clan of Mount Huntari.”

  “So you have your mother’s eyes and your father’s hair.” He smiled down at her with such adoration, Raene knew he held her appearance in the highest regard.

  Raene could only smile back at him. “My father looks Pyro. I guess it skips a generation.”

  “How come you never talk about them?”

  Raene shrugged and rubbed a hand across her face, wishing away her lingering fatigue. “There’s not much to say. My mother’s parents took me in as soon as she died. I didn’t meet my father until I was nine, and only because I snuck out to find him. Once Kaide came of age, he became my guardian.”

  Parson chewed on that a while before he asked, “Why?”

  “To protect me. My father isn’t exactly stable, and my grandparents are highly-connected in Aero politics. I think he didn’t want them to have access to me.”

  “Do you think he just wanted to use you for his own gain?”

  Raene shook her head. “No. My grandparents disowned us both for it. He knew they would, and he was still willing to risk it to keep me safe. By then, he was Vice Syndicate. He forced them to sell the manor so I could have a safe place to live.” Thinking about the manor made her miss its wide open windows and spinning staircases. She’d never see it again.

  “So if he’s so protective, why send you away? Is there some advantage?”

  “There are a lot of clans with more political sway than yours. No offense,” she added. “I think he really wanted Blossom, and, I don’t know, maybe he thought I would like it here. Maybe he thought it was safer.” It had taken Raene a long time to think logically about Kaide’s motivations regarding her trade, but Norsa had known all along. He hadn’t done it to spite her.

  Parson stroked her hair. When Raene looked up at him, silhouetted against the alder blossom canopy, she saw his jaw set firm. After a moment, he asked, “You think she’s really happy with him?”

  Raene froze solid. It felt so good to talk about home, to relate her old life to the new, but this particular secret was one she couldn’t share. “I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about her.” Raene had to fight to keep her voice neutral, passive, innocent.

  Parson wouldn’t be persuaded. “I want to know. You said he loved her. Did he make her happy?”

  Raene skirted the question. “I know he did his best.”

  Parson’s nostrils flared. “I can smell you lying. What aren’t you telling me?”

  At that, Raene pushed up to sitting, forcing his hand from her hair. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please stop,” she begged.

  Parson yanked on the reins and pulled the cart to a dead stop in the middle of the road.

  That wasn’t what she meant, but Raene knew to bail when she had the chance. She launched herself to the ground and rounded toward the back where her horse was tied. She’d barely started untying the knot when Parson appeared on the other side of her cinnamon mare.

  Raene kept her eyes on the reins, working to get them free form the cart, but she could feel the anger rolling off him as he glared at her. Heat crept into her cheeks with each passing second under his gaze.

  Parson moved around the horse and arrived behind her. With her hands on the reins, Raene was trapped between the horse and the cart.

  “I can’t tell you,” she said without turning, hoping to tide his anger before it got out of control. “I don’t know the whole story. I wasn’t there, and by the time anyone told me anything, Kaide sent me away.”

  “Told you what?” Parson was so close behind her, his breath blew strands of hair across her neck.

  “I can’t tell you,” she repeated.

  “Why?” His hand fell to her hip. In the midst of his anger, Parson still offered her that kind touch. Raene squeezed her eyes shut.

  Lower than before, she told him the truth. “Because you’ll hate me. And maybe kill me.” She didn’t know if she could fight Parson’s strong totem. In every altercation, he’d bested her easily. The violet bruises on her neck were obvious proof. If he was angry enough to transition, he could kill her in an instant. Not even Raene’s tiger could protect her.

  “You think I would hurt you?”

  “For Blossom? Yes.” Raene breathed easier when the infuriating knot finally came free. He put a second hand on her waist.

  Raene stilled instantly.

  “I told you before. I would never.” Even behind her, where she couldn’t see his eyes or the firmness that was surely set into his jaw, Raene had no doubt Parson meant every word.

  But he didn’t know what Raene had to say.

  Parson wrapped both his arms around her waist and pressed his chest to her back, his chin resting on her shoulder. “I’m not angry, and I won’t transition, but you promised to be honest with me, and I deserve to know the truth.”

  In answer, Raene tied the mare’s reins back to the cart, though she made the knot far less tight this time. This would be the end for her and Parson—whatever they had together would be over. Raene reminded herself that this was for the best. She was going to marry Hale. This was simply what it took to get Parson to change his mind about her.

  Raene stepped away from him, holding up a hand when he started to follow. When she was at least twenty paces from where he stood by the cart, Raene turned and faced him, trying to pretend this wouldn’t hurt.

  She clutched her arms over her stomach and called out. “Sure you want to know?”

  Parson nodded.

  “You won’t tell anyone in the clan? I have your word?”

  “You always had it.”

  And then, Raene could delay no more. She was a safe distance away. If she was lucky, she could transition and flee, her speed her only advantage if it came to a fight. He wanted to know. He was forcing her to tell him.

  It was Parson’s fault she had to do this.

  Raene forced her hands to her sides, forced her shoulders back and her chin high. She wouldn’t look scared.

  “The last day I spent with her was the day before her birthday. She was wearing nothing but Kaide’s shirt when she called and asked me to walk the markets with her. Kaide said she was on the verge of a big decision, and I shouldn’t try to change her mind.” Raene struggled to keep her voice even and strong enough to cover the distance.

  Parson stood idle with a crease in his brow.

  “We talked about totems. About my
tiger and Kaide’s monster,” she continued. “When she was ready, I brought her back to the manor. She climbed an alder tree and started reading. That’s the last time I saw her.”

  Parson let a nostalgic smile tug at his mouth, but Raene wouldn’t relent. She’d started, and now she was going to finish.

  “Kaide refused to see me after that. For over a week. When he finally called for me, half his staff was gone. The rest were scared. People I’ve known my whole life—” Raene’s voice cracked at the thought of Norsa that day. She cleared her throat and met Parson’s eyes as she said, “Blossom ran away. She went to the capital, but she never underwent transformation. She obviously didn’t come home. No one knows where she is.”

  Raene’s pulse pounded in her ears when Parson locked his hands into fists and lunged toward her. “You knew? You knew she wasn’t there? This whole time you knew?” He rushed her with all the fury of his bear totem.

  His anger shattered her. She could have run, but she didn’t. Parson was a volcanic eruption and Raene was little more than a tree on his slopes. Motionless, she could only wait for his fire.

  This was what she deserved. She’d ruined everything. She’d sent Blossom away. She’d robbed Kaide of his bride. She’d betrayed Hale. And now, she’d ruined her chances with Parson. Raene sank to her knees and covered her face with her hands, waiting for his impact. She didn’t want to keep secrets any more.

  Parson stopped only a step away, still in his human form. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Shameful sobs clogged her throat.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he repeated.

  “Because it’s my fault she’s gone.” Raene’s voice dissolved with each word until she could hardly make a sound.

  “You’re so stupid, Raene. By the Mother, you’re the stupidest person I know.” Parson sank to the ground beside her and grabbed her shoulders, clasping her against his chest in a single motion. Raene was beyond confused, but as Parson wasn’t angry and hadn’t killed her, she didn’t argue. Like a child, she held onto his chest and cried out her sorrows.