Jailbird (Sound of Silence Series, Book Two)

by Taylor Dean

  He smiles at me and I want to bask in his sunshine. I don’t get him though. Why is he acting as though everything is fine? As if nothing monumental happened between us the other night?

  “Is Blake home today?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why don’t you join us for dessert, then?”

  I tap my fingers on the counter, surprised by how much I would love to do just that. “I really don’t want to see Spencer and Stony. You know that. Thanks, though.”

  He runs his hands through his hair as his smile slowly fades. His expression turns intense. “You know what?” he says, walking toward me until we are face to face.

  The close contact makes me dizzy. “What?” I say, lifting my chin. I’m not going to let him intimidate me.

  “I don’t think you were in love with Stony as much as you thought you were.”

  What? I’m stunned by his words and feel myself bristle. “How can you say that? You don’t know anything.”

  “I know you’ve had some tough times and you needed someone and he was there. That doesn’t mean he was your soulmate.”

  Red hot anger burns through me. “I think you should mind your own business,” I say through gritted teeth.

  “I think you should stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living again.”

  How can he say that? “I think you shouldn’t talk about things you know nothing about.”

  “I think you should stop letting the past control your future.”

  “I think you should leave my house right now.” I point to the door.

  “Fine. Just think about what I said as you enjoy your afternoon read. I’m pretty sure you don’t need to worry about it since you choose to hide from life. Aliens will never be able to find you.”

  In one breath I want to laugh and in the other I’m wondering how I ever thought this man made me happy. He’s mean and a downright brute to come in here and say such things to me.

  “I’m going to go now.”

  “Only because I asked you to,” I shoot back.

  He looks puzzled for a moment, takes a deep breath, and then says, “I’m just across the street if you need me, okay?”

  “I don’t need you,” I spit.

  He nods and walks to the door. When he glances back at me, I see sadness in his eyes. “I know, but I wish you did.”

  He leaves, shutting the door quietly behind him. How did that go so very wrong? And why do I even care?

  I’m a hot mess.

  “Mia?”

  I whirl around and see Mom standing in the kitchen doorway.

  “Is everything okay, sweetie? Was that Grayson?”

  “Everything’s fine, Mom.” I pull myself together quickly. I don’t want Mom to sense my anguish.

  “You sounded upset. So did he.”

  “He was just disappointed, that’s all. He wanted me to go to Caroline’s with him.” I take her arm. “Let me help you back to bed. Can I get you anything?”

  “Maybe just some broth.”

  I heat up a mug of broth and sit at Mom’s bedside while she sips it slowly.

  “You know, Mia, when your father left, I refused to let myself be happy for a lot of years. That was a mistake. I was only hurting myself.”

  I let that thought wander around my mind.

  “Don’t deny yourself, Mia. You deserve happiness.”

  Do I? I hate that that’s my first thought. “Thanks, Mom. I love you. Do you want anything else?”

  “No, I think I’ll just let that settle for now.” She can barely keep her eyes open as she settles back into her bed. I won’t burden her with my troubles.

  I wander around the house, walking from room to room, burning off angry energy. How dare Grayson come in my house and tell me how I feel about my high school sweetheart.

  High school sweetheart.

  It hits me then. Stony and I were high school sweethearts. Yes, we moved on to college together and he asked me to marry him. But it was perfunctory, as if it was expected of him. I never realized that until now.

  We were going through the motions because everyone around us expected it of us. Our families, our friends, even our teachers. Even us.

  But I did love him. So much.

  I don’t think you were in love with Stony as much as you thought you were.

  That might be a little bit true. I’m slowly realizing it. But why would Grayson say that to me? He’s not a cruel man. What did he hope to achieve?

  I think I know. He’s right. I am still letting the past control me.

  I am and the truth hurts.

  I’m refusing to start a relationship with him, even though I’m interested, all because he’s Spencer’s brother and I’ll have to see Stony and Spencer on occasion.

  I’m refusing to go to Caroline’s house, even though I want to go, just because Stony and Spencer are there.

  To be fair, it does make for an awkward situation. I can’t think of anyone who wants to hang out with their ex and their new spouse. I mean, c’mon, it’s downright uncomfortable.

  I know in my heart that I’m over Stony, so what’s the big deal? Okay, it’s a tiny deal. Absolutely. The thing is I’m not only letting the past control me, I’m letting it govern me. I’m letting it be the ruling authority. That’s no way to live.

  It’s time for that to change. I need to love me and allow myself to do things that will make me happy.

  Grayson makes me happy.

  Don’t deny yourself, Mia. You deserve happiness.

  Mom’s right. I deserve happiness. I march into my bedroom, change my clothes, brush my hair and re-do my makeup. I venture into Blakeland in the basement. There’s about fifty working computers down there and the place is lit up like a surveillance room. And it’s stuffy as all get up.

  “How can you stand to spend hours on end down here, Blake?”

  “Huh?” he says, obviously distracted.

  “Never mind. Can you watch over Mom for an hour or so while I go across the street to Caroline’s?” I hand him the monitor so he can keep an eye on her.

  “Sure, Mia,” he says.

  “Caroline brought over some food.”

  “I’ll be right up.”

  Sometimes food is all that gets him out of the basement. I know he has a lot of catch-up work to do though. He took care of Mom for the last couple months and it really impinged on his work. I turn to go up the stairs.

  “Hey, Mia?”

  “Yes?”

  He’s turned in his chair now, looking at me. “You look nice.”

  “Thanks, Blake.”

  “Are Stony and Spencer there?”

  I exhale. “Yeah.”

  “Good for you, Mia. Knock ‘em dead.”

  “I plan to.”

  CHAPTER

  Ten

  OF COURSE, AS I make my way across the street, my courage wanes a little. But I don’t let it stop me. Part of moving on is facing my demons. I can’t spend my life hiding out from Spencer and Stony. If I’m over him, then I should be able to face him.

  It also means I should be able to date anyone I want, to include Spencer’s brother. And you know what? I really like him. Even if he does make me see things I don’t want to see. So if he’s still interested, I’m not going to turn him down. I’m a grown woman and I can do anything I want.

  But . . . Thanksgiving this year could be really, really awkward.

  No. No, I won’t let it be. The new theme for my life is moving on.

  When the door to Caroline’s house opens, I can’t utter a word. It’s Stony, looking handsome as ever. And he leaves me speechless.

  “Come in, Mia. How are you? Grayson said you’d be joining us for dessert.”

  Wait. He did?

  “Hi Mia,” Grayson says from the couch. He’s bouncing Brit on his lap, looking very domesticated—and just a little smug.

  Spencer is sitting next to him and she smiles politely. “Hello Mia. Good to see you again.”

  I think she’s a freak of n
ature to be so friendly to me, but whatever. She’s trying. And I’m being catty. Not my finest moment.

  Caroline gives me a welcoming hug. Her attitude toward me has always surprised me. She seems to bear no ill will. I have enough ill will toward myself to make up for the lot of them. “How’s your mother doing today?”

  “Sleeping peacefully.”

  “Give her my love. I’ll be over to see her tomorrow.” Caroline motions toward the kitchen. “All right, everyone, now that Mia’s here, let’s have dessert.”

  “We’ve been waiting for you,” Grayson says with that darned smile of his. I take it in and I’m left feeling tingly. He literally makes me weak at the knees.

  My mind is occupied with several things at once. First of all, it’s the first time I’ve seen the brand new living room since I burned it down and it looks beautiful. Secondly, how did Grayson know his words would challenge me and make me join them for dessert?

  I guess he intended to make me think about my behavior. And he certainly did. It was the wakeup call I needed and I’m not angry with him. I needed a push and he gave me a shove.

  Grayson lets Brit run ahead and he joins me at my side as we make our way to the kitchen.

  “Thank you for coming, Mia. You look beautiful.”

  There’s that word again. I will never tire of hearing it. It’s obvious I put a little effort into my appearance before coming over. I’m not ashamed of it.

  “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I hope I wasn’t too hard on you,” he whispers.

  “I guess I needed it. But don’t make a habit of it.” That Cheshire cat grin appears again. It’s lethal.

  We’re face to face now. “I’ve missed you,” he says.

  “I’ve missed you too . . . and it made me realize I don’t want to lose you.”

  He nods, looking pleased.

  “Can . . . can I have a do-over? I’d like to take back everything I said and start again.”

  “It won’t be easy.”

  “Nothing worth doing ever is.” Grayson is worth it. I know this will be hard, but I’m willing to risk it.

  “All right then, our break up before we ever even got together is done and forgotten.” Then he leans down and says in my ear, “Just between you and me, it never really sunk in, anyway.”

  I cast him my best school teacher look. “I should have known better.”

  With our faces close together, he smiles at me and my breath hitches in my throat as we share a meaningful look.

  “C’mon, let’s have chocolate. I hear it’s a cure-all.”

  I’m feeling good about my decision. He’s right, it won’t be easy, but I can do this. The only mar in my happiness is the fact that I still have to confess everything to Stony—and now to Grayson as well. I regret not taking the opportunity I had to tell Grayson everything. Now it will seem weird when he finds out I have more to tell.

  Baby steps. I’m going to take this one day at a time. It’s the best I can do right now. The point is, I’m progressing, not regressing.

  “I know why you couldn’t stay away,” Grayson tells me with a wicked smile.

  “Oh really, why?”

  “It’s because of my amazing dance moves,” Grayson says as he dances down the hallway in a ridiculous fashion.

  All I can do is stand back and laugh. This man makes me happy and he’s just what I need. I hope I can be what he needs as well.

  As we enter the kitchen, however, my smile fades. Spencer and Stony are already at the table, along with Shay and Caroline.

  “Hey Mia,” Shay greets. “You’re looking great.”

  I can’t wait for Jace to return home. He has unfinished business with Shay and it’s high time those two made amends with each other. Neither one of them has told anyone what really happened between them. I don’t get it at all, they were inseparable. They had made promises to each other and they had plans for a future together. Shay was going to join him at NYU—that was the plan. Then one day they were suddenly over and Shay went off to college in L.A. After graduation, she married Asher. Jace stayed in New York and has never returned to Sweetwater—not once. It was all very strange.

  “Good to see you, Shay,” I tell her and I mean it.

  The last two seats are for me and Grayson. I love that I’m designated to sit by him. Brit is on the floor playing with toys and singing a song.

  Caroline cuts into the incredible chocolate layer cake Shay has made and serves us each a slice. How can Grayson think there’s no junk food here? He must have a major sweet tooth.

  “This cake is a bestseller at my bakery. It’s sugar-free, gluten-free, and dairy-free. I promise you won’t even notice,” Shay says.

  Oh. Maybe that’s why he’s craving sugar.

  Shay adds a scoop of ice cream to each plate. Hopefully it will make up for what the cake lacks. Then she says, “That little girl over there is going to be the death of me. The other day when we were leaving the park, I had to pick her up and carry her because she didn’t want to leave. She started screaming, ‘Help! Help! Somebody help me!’ I thought some of the mothers were going to call the police.”

  “Kids do and say the funniest things.” Caroline wipes at her mouth with her napkin.

  “I have a bundle of little gems about Stony.” Shay grins wickedly.

  “Don’t you do it,” Stony tells her.

  “Do it, Shay,” Spencer encourages.

  I could tell a few doozies myself about Stony, but I decide to remain quiet.

  “Hey, I’ve got you covered, Stony. The Spencer stories are endless and revenge is sweet.” Grayson fist bumps Stony.

  “Don’t YOU do it, Grayson,” Spencer says, echoing Stony.

  So Stony echoes her, “Do it, Grayson.”

  Everyone laughs while Stony and Spencer exchange a quick kiss. And you know what? I’m not even fazed by it. I have Grayson at my side. He reaches out and holds my hand under the table. No one knows it but me. I love the gesture, especially when he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze.

  I can do this.

  I love the family camaraderie in this house. I always have. I’m glad I decided to leave my self-imposed shell and join them.

  Shay needs no encouragement whatsoever. “I think one of my favorites is the time I caught Stony singing along to Hot Blooded. He was saying Hot Pockets, check them and see. As if the song is singing about checking Hot Pockets in the microwave.”

  Everyone chuckles. I close my eyes and simply absorb it. The drug I need to cure me is laughter. I wish I could bottle it and store it in my medicine cabinet for future use.

  Grayson bumps me with his shoulder and I glance at him. I try to give him a small smile, but I’m pretty sure it comes across as a grimace. I hate to admit it, but smiling still feels foreign to me. I think Grayson will remedy that very quickly.

  “Top that, Grayson.” Shay takes her last bite of cake and ice cream. I finish mine off too. Heavenly. I absolutely can’t tell it’s missing any of the good stuff. I’m suitably impressed.

  “There’s so many, I don’t know where to begin.” Grayson promptly gets hit in the face with Spencer’s napkin.

  “Okay, okay, I’ve got it. Spencer was sent to her room one time and she tried to sneak out by wearing a lamp shade on her head as if, in her disguise, no one would notice it was her.”

  Again, laughter erupts and even though I feel like a fly on a wall, observing, but not really feeling as though I’m part of the group, my insides begin to sing. Light has suddenly entered my life and it feels like it’s shining down on me, warming me and illuminating a path forward. My hand feels good in Grayson’s hand and I don’t plan on letting go anytime soon. I feel Grayson using his other hand to trace one finger over the skin of my palm, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

  “Okay,” Shay says. “It’s only fair that we hear a juicy story about Grayson. Entertain us, Spencer.”

  “I know the perfect one, Shay. I’m younger than Grayson, but our parents used to tell me the best story abo
ut him. When he was around two years old, he loved to eat vegetables, which was a great thing since most parents have to fight to get green food into their children’s bellies.”

  Grayson puts his head in his hands and moans. He knows what’s coming.

  “That being said, when you mix a certain vegetable, peas in this case, with a very curious mind, you run into interesting circumstances. In case you’ve never noticed, a pea has just about the exact circumference as a human nostril. Who hasn’t wondered if a pea, or many peas, would fit up there? Well, Grayson can tell you they do, in fact, fit perfectly. They fit so perfectly that they are quite difficult to remove, unless your father has a flashlight and a good set of tweezers handy. To this day, our father says it was one of the worst things he’s ever had to do.”

  The table is quiet this time because everyone is laughing so hard they can hardly breathe. Grayson’s head is down, shaking in the negative.

  “Thanks for that colorful story, Spence. May I remind everyone that I was two years old? I was over it by the time I was two and a half.”

  Shay gets up, grabs something from the cupboard, and places a can of peas in front of Grayson. “Just in case you need to satisfy the urge.”

  Poor Grayson. He takes it all in stride like the good sport he is.

  Caroline speaks up next. “I think it’s only fair that I tell a story about Mia.”

  “Oh no, please don’t,” I object. At the same time, I love being included.

  With encouragement, Caroline continues. “Mia went through a phase in middle school where she would respond to all authority figures with, ‘I can’t hear you, I have bananas in my ears.’ It was so funny, although your teachers probably wouldn’t agree. You were a spunky little thing.”

  The table laughs, but it’s a little forced at this point. Grayson gives my hand another squeeze and I feel like everyone is wondering what happened to my spunk. It’s clearly gone.

  “I also have a favorite story about Drew when he was five,” Caroline continues.

  “Do tell,” Spencer says, glancing at Stony with a smile.

  Stony’s face is a mask, but I detect a hint of trepidation over what his mother is about to reveal.

  “One day I was taking a nap with Shay when she was around four years old. She had a really bad cold and was having a hard time sleeping. We were in Drew’s room with the room darkening drapes pulled closed. For some reason it was always the warmest room in the house and Shay used to love to sneak in there and sleep on his bed in the winter.”