by Taylor Dean
“Wait. You were at the house?” Stony absolutely cannot mask the shock in his features. It’s rare that his emotions show on his face and I know I’ve stunned him. He really believed that I threw the items off the table and sped off, having no clue what kind of aftermath I had left behind. As careless as it sounds, I wish that were true.
My voice turns low, almost monotone. “Yes, I returned to the house that night. The scene was pure chaos. A crowd had gathered outside and firemen were running everywhere. I had to park my car several houses away from yours. I ran to your yard just as they were pulling you out of the house on a stretcher. You were unconscious, an oxygen mask covering your face. You were suffering from smoke inhalation, and even worse, severe burns down one side of your torso. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I didn’t understand how it could’ve happened. It had to have been a very small fire to start out with, something that could’ve been easily put out. I had no idea how something so small turned the living room into a raging inferno. At the time, it didn’t occur to me that something I had thrown off the table had hit you in the head. It didn’t occur to me that you were unconscious and unable to protect yourself. It never crossed my mind. I didn’t know . . . I didn’t think . . . I didn’t even realize . . .”
Tears overwhelm me for a moment. If only I had chosen a different path that night. If only I had kept control of my temper.
“I wanted to go to you. I wanted to be at your side and hold your hand. I wanted to take everything back and start over. But it was too late.”
Okay, here comes the last ugly truth. “Instead of going to you and holding your hand, of staying at your side . . . I turned and ran. I was standing in the outskirts of the crowd and everyone’s focus was on the house. In all of the commotion, no one had noticed me there on the scene. I knew it was all my fault and that I was responsible for what had happened. The fear of the repercussions overwhelmed me. It was as if ice filled my veins. My hands were shaking and my teeth were chattering. It’s no excuse, but I was in shock. I didn’t even know I was crying, yet tears were pouring down my face. The thing is I acted no different from a hit and run driver fleeing the scene of the accident. I slowly took a step backwards. No one even glanced my way. I took another step back. No one noticed. They were loading you onto the ambulance. I wanted to go with you, to be with you, to talk to you, to comfort you, to apologize, to beg for forgiveness, and to somehow ease your pain.”
I look down at my lap and shake my head.
“But I did none of those things. No, instead I turned and ran back to my car. I drove away from you and left you to deal with the aftermath by yourself. I left the scene of the accident and let law enforcement figure it out for themselves. With that decision, I didn’t just hurt you, I hurt myself as well. If I had forgotten about myself and listened to my instincts at that point, maybe the District Attorney would’ve looked upon the case with a kinder and gentler eye. Maybe they would’ve seen my sorrow and deemed the entire affair the unfortunate accident it really was.” I take a deep breath. “I turned off my cell and drove around aimlessly for hours that night. I didn’t sleep a wink. By morning, I had returned to my apartment in Abilene. I waited on pins and needles, scouring the TV for any kind of news update. When my search was fruitless, I finally turned my cell phone back on. There were too many messages to count.”
I pause and take a minute to compose myself.
“There were so many things I didn’t think of that night. I was much too consumed with myself. I doubt you’re aware of what happened after the ambulance took you away.”
Stony shakes his head in the negative.
“If you remember, your mother left the house for the evening and she had no idea what our arrangements were. No one knew if you had picked me up or if I had driven myself. I didn’t think about my family across the street and what they were experiencing. My mom knew I was meeting with you that night. I didn’t even notice her in the crowd that had gathered around the house. She was beside herself with worry, thinking I had been killed in the fire. My car wasn’t out front and no one could get ahold of me. The firemen actually went back in, searching for me because no one knew of my whereabouts. The fire was out by then, but still, the firemen risked the hot embers and unstable structure to look for me. In the end, they determined I wasn’t there, but the manpower had been spent. So you see, I really was reckless in all of my actions and in all of my decisions that night and I deserved to go to jail.”
I’m met with utter silence, uninterrupted except for Spencer’s tears.
“When they questioned me, I told them the truth, but I omitted so many key points and I’m sorry for that. When you were finally out of the coma and they questioned you, your story matched mine. Regardless, it was still more than obvious that I had been reckless, even when they didn’t know the whole truth. Thank you for defending me, Stony. It meant the world to me. But I knew my punishment was well deserved. If I had made better decisions that night, so much heartache could’ve been avoided. I caused you to suffer in ways I can’t begin to imagine and I know there’s nothing I can do to make it right. I made huge mistakes and I will forever be sorry. I can only hope that one day you can forgive me.” I swallow. “That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.”
There. It’s done. I don’t feel huge relief as I had expected I would—I imagine I never will—but I do feel peace because there’s nothing more I can do. Now I have to sit back and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be.
Spencer turns toward Stony, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. Stony buries his lips in her hair at the top of her head and massages her back with his free hand. Their baby still sleeps quietly, tucked in his other arm. I knew my confession would affect them, but I didn’t expect it to be quite this heart wrenching. Visibly witnessing their emotion as a result of my confession is tough.
Grayson wraps an arm around me and pulls me close to his side. I feel his comfort surround me and fill me. He loves me no matter what. He loves me in spite of the mistakes I’ve made. And for that, I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in my life. I love him with an intense, burning passion that is almost painful to endure.
I wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything. His other hand begins to trace lines on my palm, as he likes to do. It’s then I notice the lines are not random, that he’s repeating the same motions over and over. It takes me a minute to realize he’s drawing a heart and then the letter U, over and over again. All this time, he’s been sending me the message that he loves me and I had no clue. However, this was the perfect moment for me to realize his message. I need it the most right now. I look at him and whisper, “I love you, too.”
He grants me a half smile and whispers back, “Ah, you’re on to me.”
It’s my only happiness in the silent, tension filled room. I know Stony and Spencer are processing everything I just told them, and I know I need to give them time to absorb it all. I didn’t expect a quick response, but the wait feels interminable.
After an intolerably long period of silence and just when I think I can’t take it anymore, Stony ends his quiet introspection. He lifts his head and looks directly at me. I meet his gaze, knowing I no longer have anything to hide. Still, I fear what he’s about to say.
“Listen, Mia, I respect your desire to admit to your mistakes. If I’d known this before I met Spencer, it would’ve cut to the bone. I can’t say I like hearing it, but it no longer has power over me. I’m glad I know the truth. And now that I do, I’d like to forget it ever happened.”
I close my eyes. In other words, he’d like to forget about ME, erase me from his memories.
He goes on. “I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t matter. Of course it does. Fact is, you should have told the whole truth from the beginning.”
Grayson holds me a little tighter as I physically hurt on the inside. While I knew my ugly truths probably wouldn’t matter to his current life, I also knew Stony wouldn’t brush the news
off as if it was nothing. I knew that wasn’t possible. I open my eyes and face what I’ve done head on.
Stony goes on. “Here’s the thing, that night was a hot mess of mistakes on both of our parts. I knew I was pushing you and I knew you were upset. You made bad choices, but there was no malice in your actions, no forethought. Nothing was planned or calculated. It was an accident. I’ve always known that and nothing you’ve said changes that fact. I’ve paid for it and so have you. I know I should be angry at you. I know I should resent you. I’m scarred for life because of that night and if you hadn’t acted so recklessly, it never would’ve happened.”
Stony’s arms tighten around Spencer and Sophie as he hugs them to himself. I hang my head in shame. I honestly don’t know how I can ever make amends for my actions.
Then Stony does something unexpected. His free hand reaches up and pinches the bridge of his nose and I know he’s trying to control his emotions.
I’ve never seen Stony cry. Not once. Not when his father passed and not when he lost his leg. I know he feels deeply, he just doesn’t show his feelings. He never has.
His voice is raspy as he continues. “But let me make something clear. I have everything I need and want right here in my arms right now.” There are no tears, but his voice is thick with emotion and I know he’s trying to keep himself under control. “Spencer and Sophie mean everything to me. They are my world. The reason they are here right now, sitting beside me, is because of you, Mia. You. You saved my wife and child and I will never forget that for as long as I live on this green earth. For that reason alone, I will always look upon you differently. You are the person who gave me back my life when circumstances threatened to take it away from me.”
A glimmer of hope ignites inside of me.
“I’m not saying one good deed wipes out the bad ones,” Stony says. “But it sure makes up for a world of hurt. And I think it also gave you the chance to show the world who you really are. You’re a kind and decent woman, Mia. Don’t ever think otherwise. If you need forgiveness from me, then you have it. You always have. You can redeem yourself by going on with your life and not letting this destroy you. That’s my wish . . . and I expect you to do it.”
I nod my head and wipe away my tears. I have Stony’s forgiveness and for the first time in forever, I feel free from the chains that have kept me bound. I have his permission to let it go and move on with my life. In fact, he’ll be upset if I don’t. I have every intention of doing exactly as he wishes. I’m so ready to move forward. I can finally put this huge interruption in my life to bed, once and for all.
Spencer sits up straight and looks me in the eyes. I hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me as well. There’s a pit in my stomach as I await her response. After everything we went through together, I don’t want to lose her friendship and trust.
“I have to admit, that was hard to hear . . . but I feel the same,” she starts.
Unexplainable relief washes over me.
“You were at my side when I was helpless and weak. You watched over me and did whatever you could to ensure that I was okay. You encouraged me and talked me through it. You showed me the kind of person you are, Mia, the real you, your true colors. We all make mistakes. Some are harder to bear than others. I hate that you’ve had to carry this on your shoulders. But I also respect your desire to confess. I hope it brings you the peace you need. I want you to go on with your life and find happiness. I don’t know if that will be with Grayson or someone else. I know you make my brother happy and if you choose each other, it will make me happy as well. So, please, let this go once and for all and make a happy life for yourself. You deserve happiness. I want that for you. If I hear differently, if I find out that you’re letting this consume you and control you . . . then I will take back my forgiveness. I mean that.” She smiles a teary smile and it takes away any unintended harshness.
A half sob, half smile escapes me. Grayson hugs me tightly and I bury my head in his chest.
Now it’s up to me. I have to forgive myself. But I feel as though I’ve just been released from prison all over again.
And it feels incredible.
We say our goodbyes just a few minutes later. I know Spencer and Stony need some alone time to process everything. Grayson hugs Spencer and Stony. Then he kisses Sophie on the forehead.
I hang back, unsure of where I fit in. When Spencer insists on a hug goodbye, I know I’ve found a place in this family. I may be flawed, but they accept me anyway.
As we leave, Stony suddenly says from the doorway, “Mia?”
I turn. “Yes?”
“Thank you.”
I’m not sure if he’s thanking me for my confession or for helping Spencer in her time of need. It doesn’t really matter. I’ll take it.
When me and Grayson are settled in the car, driving away from the place for happily-ever-aftering, he reaches out and holds my hand firmly in his.
I take a deep, cleansing breath and release all of my anxiety. I’ve never felt so relieved in all of my life.
“How do you feel?” he asks.
“That was tough. And really intense. At the same time, I feel redeemed. And thankful for forgiving hearts.”
“Anything else?”
“Yeah, I love me again.”
“That makes two of us.”
“I love you too, Grayson. Thanks for your support.”
“Since this seems to be a day for confessions, I have something I should probably tell you.” He gives my hand a squeeze.
“What is it?” I’m not going to lie, a little chill runs down my spine.
“Just so there are no secrets between us, you should probably know that I moved into Caroline’s house just to be across the street from you. It would’ve been so much easier to stay in a hotel in Abilene that was close to my work.”
I smile because I’m so happy that that is his deep, dark secret. Grayson is an open book and his pages are blank. I love that about him. He literally has no baggage. I fake a stern tone. “That’s utterly scandalous, Mr. Elliott.”
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you earlier.”
He takes me back with his serious attitude. “Stop it, I’m kidding.”
“Oh. I’ll get you back for that.”
I hold his hand with both of mine. “I look forward to it with the greatest amount of anticipation. But before we go any further, I have another confession as well.”
“Heaven help me.”
He knows that I’m kidding around now. “I already knew that. I overheard the conversation at Spencer and Stony’s place the night we met.”
Grayson pulls over to the side of the road and places the car in park. “What? You knew all along?”
“I did.”
“So, all those times I showed up at your mom’s house, you knew exactly what my intentions were?”
“Yep.”
“You know I can’t let this slide, right?”
“I’m sure you can think of some sort of appropriate punishment.” I’m heavy with the flirtatious tone.
He leans over and kisses me softly. “I can.”
“I’ll willingly accept whatever you deem necessary,” I tell him, laughing to myself.
“Who are you and what have you done with Mia?”
“Hmmmm, I guess you haven’t really met her before.”
“Nice to meet you, Mia Faraday. I always knew you were in there and I’ve been waiting for you to make an appearance.”
“I’m only here because of you.”
“And I’m here because of you.” He kisses me again as one hand runs through my hair. “Back to your punishment.” He pulls a small box out of his pocket. “I think spending the rest of your life with me will be the only thing to appease me and right this wrong. What do you say, Mia?”
I gasp. While I knew this was coming, I didn’t expect it to happen this soon. “Are you serious?” I blurt and immediately wish I could take it back. The dazzling diamond ring he’s slipping on my fing
er tells me just how serious he is.
He holds my face in his hands tenderly. “In every way. I love you, Mia.” He places his lips on mine and kisses me over and over. He moves to my cheeks and smothers my face with soft butterfly kisses.
I close my eyes and let him love me.
“What is your answer? Don’t leave me hanging,” he whispers.
He knows my answer. I don’t need to say it. “Is this a life sentence?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“Then I’m going back to jail. Willingly this time.”
He smiles, but keeps on kissing me. “My jailbird. I’ll love you forever.”
EPILOGUE
Three months later
I STIR THE hot chocolate and pour it into two mugs. I place one in each hand and make my way over to the couch where Grayson is waiting for me as he sits by the fire.
I love our new house and I love our new life. Amherst is now ours and we’re in the process of making it our home by bestowing it with our own brand of decorating. We’re surrounded by piles of boxes and I don’t even care. We’ll get it all unpacked eventually. Presently, the chance to sit with Grayson by the fire is calling to me. I know there will be more than just sitting going on. We are newlyweds after all.
“Thank you, Mrs. Elliott.”
“You’re welcome, husband.”
I absolutely did not want a big wedding. The possible headlines alone gave me nightmares. “Jailbird gets hitched.”
No, thank you.
So, after a few formalities, Grayson whisked me away to Tahiti and we had a quiet January wedding on the beach, just the two of us.
Yes, we eloped. It worked best for us. Our parents were the only ones who knew what we were doing. Grayson’s parents gave us their blessing. Mom loved the romance behind it all. She even encouraged me to enjoy every moment.
That’s exactly what I did. What followed was a blissful two-week honeymoon, filled with passionate nights and lazy days spent taking walks, hand in hand, on the shore of the ocean.
