Hearts Renewed

by Mary Manners

  “Oh, Sam…I understand then.” Izzy’s breath caught and she cast a glance toward the sky. “I do.”

  Sam imagined she did understand the emotions whirling inside him, judging from the gentle tone of her voice. So he went on.

  “And last night, well…I couldn’t help but study the stars while you were getting Tucker settled into bed. It had been so long since I’d even given them a thought, and I don’t know why I felt the need just then. But I saw them again the way Molly used to. She was so in awe of them, fascinated beyond words. We used to share that fascination, and last night just brought everything back.”

  “What happened, Sam…to Molly?”

  He hesitated. If he opened the vault there was no turning back. He wasn’t sure he was ready to lay it all out there, when a scab had already begun to close the wound. But the pain still festered beneath. Instinctively, Sam knew if he didn’t allow it to escape, it would eventually poison him.

  And that poison would surely lead to losing Izzy, and he wasn’t willing to risk that. So he took the leap of faith and threw wide the vault doors.

  “It was a spring day much like this…nearly six years to the day.” The date was stamped in his memory—the antithesis of a birthday or joyful holiday. “Molly was three weeks from her college graduation—she was studying to be a special-needs teacher—when the weight of preparing for final exams took its toll. She went for a jog to clear her thoughts and make room for the memorization of more notes.”

  Sam knew this because she called him just before she headed out the door. She’d been in a tizzy, as often happened when she felt overwhelmed.

  “I don’t think I can do it, Sam. I’m not sure I’m ready.”

  “You’re ready, Mol. Just take a deep breath. It’s going to be OK.”

  “You’re right. Did you see any shooting stars last night?” she’d asked with a hint of laughter in her voice. “I saw two. It’s good luck, Sam. It has to be. I made two wishes…one for me, and one for you?.”

  “Really? What did you wish, Mol?”

  “I’ll tell you later…when finals are over. I have to take a jog now, and then head back to the library to hit the books again.”

  Sam forced the memory aside. He’d never learned what those wishes were. There hadn’t been time. He swallowed hard and continued.

  “She finished her run and on the way back to the library, it started to rain. A car pulled up beside her. She recognized the driver. He’d shared a civics class with her, and they’d even attended the same study group together a time or two. So when he offered her a ride, she didn’t hesitate to accept it.”

  Court documents and testimony had proven the details as well as the time line. Sam had been there in the courtroom to hear every word, to witness each report.

  “But instead of taking her back to the dorm, he turned toward the river. He said he had to meet a friend for just a minute, to settle something with him. But there was no friend and no meeting.”

  Sam imagined, once again, what Molly must have felt when she realized the guy she thought was her friend really meant to harm her. The panic smoldered through his gut. Why, oh why couldn’t he turn back the clock and end his call with her earlier? It would have changed everything. She’d have finished her run and made it back to the library before the rain hit.

  But he’d wanted to share good news of his own. He’d just accepted a partnership at the law firm, and he meant to make a name for himself. Molly knew how hard he’d worked to make it happen, and she’d shared in the joy of his accomplishment.

  They’d chatted about the fact that soon neither of them would have time to banter over constellations or childish starlight wishes.

  If Sam had only known then the truth in those words.

  “It’s OK, Sam.” Izzy squeezed his hand, drawing him back. “I’m right here with you.” She was waiting patiently to hear the rest of the story. So he offered the words she longed to hear…and he needed to tell.

  “Before Molly realized what was happening, it was too late. The guy she had trusted—the one with whom she’d exchanged class notes and studied with over coffee—attacked her. He raped her, Izzy, and then he panicked.”

  The court records were clear. The photos…the destruction…every unthinkable detail.

  “He…he used a rock and…”

  Sam couldn’t bring himself to finish. The memory stole his breath.

  Izzy threw her arms around him and held tight. “I’m so sorry, Sam.”

  Her touch comforted in a way he’d never felt. He pressed his face into her shoulder as tears warmed his cheeks.

  “My dad tried to call her—we were planning my mom’s birthday dinner. After a few hours, when he couldn’t get ahold of her and she didn’t show up to the restaurant where we’d all met, he and I went looking. I was with him when…when we found her near the water’s edge.”

  “Oh…oh, Sam. No.”

  “It was too late. We tried, but there was nothing we could do. She was gone.”

  9

  “Mama, is Sam going to come to my soccer game today?” Tucker asked as Izzy helped him load his cleats into the car.

  “I don’t know.” She hadn’t spoken to him in a few days. Since he’d shared his heart with her during their walk to the coffee shop, he’d been noticeably silent and somewhat distant. She chalked it up to a busy week at the law firm, but she wasn’t sure.

  Worry niggled, and Tucker’s line of questioning didn’t help matters.

  “He promised, Mom,” Tucker insisted as he climbed into his booster seat. “He told me that he would come to see me.”

  The promise, though only a handful of days past, seemed an eternity ago.

  “We’ll see.” Izzy attempted to smooth Tucker’s ruffled feathers and ease his hopes down a notch or two as she slipped a key into the ignition. “Sam’s got a big case coming up, and he might have to work extra hard to get ready for it. That could mean sacrifice, honey.”

  “And sacrifice means broken promises?”

  Izzy’s shoulders slumped as she cranked the engine. How was she supposed to respond to that?

  She didn’t have the chance.

  “That’s not fair.” Tucker’s pout was evident in the tone of his voice. “I want to see him, Mom.”

  “I know, honey. I do too.”

  Izzy realized how much she missed him even though it had only been a few days since he’d come to the radio station.

  “Why are there courts?” Once Tucker got a thought in his head, there was no erasing it. The child chiseled away, his legs swinging so his tennis shoes slapped the back of Izzy’s seat. “Why can’t the bad guys all stay home?”

  Why, indeed. Ah…the innocence of a child. He’d managed to come up with yet another question that baffled her. What was she supposed to say?

  Why didn’t parenting come with a user’s manual or an instruction guide?

  Izzy did her best, it was all she could manage.

  “I don’t know why, honey.” She glanced into the rearview mirror and saw Tucker munching his fruit snacks. He’d been romping in the backyard, tossing a ball to the puppy next door, just before they left the house. Now smudges of dirt coated his cheeks and his hair was tussled with sweat. She thought she had never seen anything so beautiful, and the realization of how close she’d come to losing him sliced a wound down the length of her heart. A lump lodged in her throat as she murmured, “I love you, Tucker.”

  The words floated on a tiny sob, and Tucker quit chewing for a moment as he gauged her emotions. Unwilling to worry him, Izzy plastered the brightest smile she could muster through the tears that filled her eyes.

  “I love you too, Mom.” tucker grinned back at her before popping another fruit snack into his mouth. “Do you think Sam will come today? Do you, Mom? Do you?”

  The questions fired like pellets. So, they’d circled back once more. She sighed and swiped at her eyes.

  Sam proved to be a complicated man. He was struggling with a heavy burden
of doubt and guilt—he’d spilled every detail to her as they shared coffee. And though she longed to help him through the tempest, she realized that ultimately he had to find a way himself. Just as she needed the same. If he could make it through, he’d find a strength that only came from weathering the most violent of storms.

  Perhaps it was for the best they hadn’t talked for a few days. His sister’s murder had caused Sam to lose faith in God. Izzy doubted whether or not he even believed in His existence anymore. And though she understood completely the place where Sam now stood—she’d once been in the same shoes herself—she also knew that he alone could pick up his feet and begin walking again. They were in different places along their journeys, and she didn’t know if they’d find a meeting point along the way. Better to leave well enough alone.

  It’s time to stop hiding, Izzy…time to stop running.

  Izzy ignored the voice that prodded. She had no choice but to walk away. After all, if she and Sam continued in any sort of relationship, she’d eventually have to share her story—her testimony—with him. And that might destroy everything anyway.

  Yes, she’d leave well enough alone.

  As much as Tucker hoped Sam would show up to his game, Izzy wished for the opposite. Staying away would make things so much easier. Perhaps not in the here and now—saying goodbye would surely wound her—but in the long run, at least.

  Izzy merged onto the highway. The trip seemed more lengthy than usual. Traffic was heavy due to an arts and crafts fair at a church across from the park. Izzy felt as if they would never make it, and the weight of whether Sam would keep his promise continued to plague her.

  What would Tucker think of a broken promise?

  Lost in thought, she never saw the utility pickup truck run a red light.

  Until it plowed into her. The car spun and Izzy tumbled as if she’d been tossed inside a dryer.

  Visions of Sam wove in fragments through her mind as Tucker’s screams filled the cab. Then the world went black.

  ~*~

  Sam rushed from his office and down the corridor toward the parking garage. He checked his watch. If he was lucky, he’d make it to Tucker’s soccer game with a little time to spare.

  He hadn’t planned to go into the office today, but when the paralegal called to discuss troubling findings in her research, he needed to go and check on things. He wasn’t going to take a chance on losing another case to a technicality, even if it meant putting in a little overtime and arriving a few minutes late to Tucker’s game.

  But the review and discussion with the eager paralegal held him captive longer than he’d planned, and now he was in danger of breaking his promise to Tucker.

  The promise to see him today.

  Thoughts of Molly swam through his head. He’d been overshadowed and preoccupied by work on the day of her death, as well. The idea caused Sam to quicken his step.

  He made his way to the SUV and unlocked the driver’s side door before sliding in. He tossed his briefcase onto the seat and cranked the engine. He switched on the radio, tuning in to KNOW radio station. He expected to hear Izzy’s voice and then remembered she was at the soccer game with Tucker.

  Where he should be.

  He navigated the virtually empty parking garage with ease. Few employees worked on the weekend. He often proved the exception, as he had today. Work had gotten in the way again.

  But that was fixing to change. Other things were more important.

  Izzy and Tucker, to name a couple.

  He merged into traffic and headed out toward the Henley Street Bridge. There was still time to make the second half of the game. He could make his tardiness up to Tucker by taking the child and Izzy for ice cream. Rocky Road was Tucker’s favorite flavor. The kid had mentioned that the last time they were together. Half-a-dozen times.

  As Sam crossed the river, his phone rang. The voice-activated speaker announced the call came from Izzy. He quickly engaged hands-free mode. He’d missed talking to her.

  “Izzy?”

  “No, this is Lorna.” She was breathless, slightly panicked.

  Sam’s mind reeled. Lorna? But she was calling from Izzy’s phone. Why? “What’s going on? Is Izzy OK? Tucker?”

  “Izzy and Tucker have been in an accident.” Her voice rose, and Sam sensed the urgency. “Izzy’s fine but Tucker…he’s in surgery.”

  Sam’s thoughts spun. “How bad is it?”

  “I’m not sure. But Izzy needs you.”

  “Where are they?” He blew through an intersection, catching the light as it changed from yellow to red. “Where’s Izzy?”

  “Children’s Hospital. Fifth floor surgery suite. I thought you would want to know, Sam.”

  “Thanks. I’m on my way.”

  He ended the call and turned the SUV around. Children’s Hospital sat less than two minutes in the other direction. He’d needed to get there.

  He needed to get to Izzy.

  10

  Sam found Izzy by way of muffled sobs after the elevator emptied him onto the fifth floor landing. He rounded a corner and the hallway opened into a waiting area. There she sat, hunched over in a plastic chair, her shoulders trembling.

  “Izzy?”

  She looked up and her eyes registered a moment of shock. The next moment she was on her feet and running to him.

  He enfolded her in an embrace and she melted into his arms. She pressed her face to his shoulder and held tight.

  “Shh,” he soothed, smoothing a tangle of hair. “It’s going to be OK.”

  “Oh, Sam…it’s all my fault.”

  Sam glanced at Lorna who was tucked into a chair near the corner, and received a slight shake of her head in response.

  “The doctor said it will be a while.” Lorna stood. Lamplight washed over her from the corner table, and though weariness shone in her eyes, she did not seem nearly as distressed as Izzy. Perhaps time and experience had taught her to temper her emotions. “Now that you’re here, Sam, I’m going to step into the hallway to see if I can gather information from the nurse’s station and then make a few calls.”

  She paused as she passed him. She offered Izzy a hug and a patted Sam on the back. “Thank you,” she murmured over Izzy’s head. “Thank you for coming so quickly.”

  When Lorna left, Sam and Izzy stood rooted to the spot for a length of time. The room was empty, save for the two of them. Across the way a TV played at low volume. Its white noise served to smooth the edges from his wrinkled emotions.

  Finally, Izzy’s sobs eased. She loosed her hold on Sam and took a step back, swiping at her red-rimmed eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” she choked. She took the wad of tissues he drew from a dispenser on the magazine-laden coffee table and handed to her.

  “Are you hurt?” A bruise had blossomed along her cheek and he smoothed a hand over her head, checking for bumps.

  “The airbag deployed, so it cushioned the brunt of the impact. I’m OK, but Tucker....” She pressed the palm of her hand to her lips as sobs erupted once again.

  “I’m here Izzy. Lean on me.” He could hardly fathom that the woman he’d known for less than a month could summon such emotions from him. He felt an odd sense of urgency to protect her, and to shelter her from harm. She looked positively broken. “Tell me what happened. Start at the beginning.”

  “We were on our way to the soccer field. Tucker was chattering on and on about whether or not you were going to meet us. He was so excited to see you again. He could hardly contain himself.” Her gaze settled on him. “I was excited too.”

  “I know.” Sam stroked her cheek with his fingers, feeling the guilt rise. He should have left the office sooner—or avoided going in at all. The paralegal could have handled things. He let his pride—and his ego—get in the way again. “I feel the same.”

  “We were crossing the intersection to turn into the park when this truck came out of nowhere. I saw it like a flash out of the corner of my eye—a streak of white lightning.” She cringed and shi
vered. “The car spun and rolled. I heard Tucker scream and I couldn’t help him, Sam.”

  Fresh tears…endless tears. Sam did his best to soothe them away as Izzy struggle to finish.

  “And then everything went black. That’s all I remember. I must have passed out.”

  She pressed a palm to her head, and that’s when Sam noticed more bruising along her hairline. He touched the area, and she winced as his fingers found a goose egg.

  “The doctor said I hit my head on the side window. The glass was cracked.” She fisted her hand and pressed it to her lips. Her voice was muffled as she continued. “The impact was on the other side—Tucker’s side. They took him into surgery. I don’t know anything more, Sam.”

  “It’s OK.” Her pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. “Everything’s going to be OK, Izzy.”

  He only hoped the words proved true.

  ~*~

  “Here.” Sam offered Izzy a bottle of apple juice and a sandwich. Outside the hospital window afternoon sunlight had faded to dusk. “You have to eat something besides coffee.”

  “No, thanks.” Izzy couldn’t imagine swallowing the food. Even the coffee turned her belly to a roiling mass of sludge. More than hour had passed, and still there was no word from the doctor. As far as she knew, Tucker was still in surgery.

  What could be taking so long?

  She needed to know, yet she dreaded what she might hear. Sometimes, she had learned, there was no turning back.

  “Please, Izzy.” Sam pressed the juice into her hand. “At least take a sip. You’ll feel better.”

  She couldn’t imagine ever feeling better again. She wished she could give Tucker a can of soda now. How many times had he asked for the caffeinated drink and she had refused? Now, she might never get the chance again.

  Tears leapt to her eyes again, though she had no idea from where the moisture rose. She felt dried out and empty inside.