A Good Enough Reason

by C. M. Lievens

  Mark opened his mouth, then closed it again before shaking his head. “You’re not weak. After what I did to you… you’re not.”

  “Being gay has nothing to do with you being a bully. That was the weakness in you, not being gay. Instead of having the courage to face what you are, you hid. You’re a coward.”

  Ellis fully expected Mark to hit him after what he’d said, but Mark didn’t. He looked defeated, and it wasn’t a look Ellis had ever seen on him.

  “I’ve never told anyone.”

  “I’m the only one who knows?” Ellis asked softly.

  Mark nodded. “Yeah.”

  “You could’ve told me. Instead of bullying me, you could’ve told me. I’d have listened. We could’ve been friends.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I like you!”

  Ellis had already realized that, but hearing it was different. It made it both more real and weirder, and he wasn’t sure how to react. “But I don’t like you. I could have, maybe, if you’d behaved differently, but now….”

  Ellis shook his head and pulled the door open, leaving Mark alone in the bathroom.

  DALE TAPPED his fingers on the steering wheel. Ellis was late.

  To be honest, Ellis didn’t know Dale was picking him up. Dale had wanted to make it a surprise, a way to spend more time together, but Ellis was nowhere to be seen. The other people in his class had come out of the school almost twenty minutes before, but still no Ellis.

  He took his phone from his backpack and tried to call, but Ellis didn’t answer, so Dale climbed out of his car and made his way toward the school.

  The silence surrounding him when he pushed the closest door open was eerie and a bit creepy. He wasn’t used to the school being so quiet. He should have been since he had to pass through the building to his car every time he had practice, but it felt like a horror movie set more than a school.

  Dale walked to Ellis’s locker and frowned when he got there. The locker was closed, but Ellis’s bag was on the floor in front of it, open, and its contents spilled on the floor. A notebook had ended up some inches away, so Dale grabbed it and put it back inside the bag, then got up and looked around.

  He couldn’t see Ellis anywhere. “Ellis?” he called out, but apart from the echo that resounded in the empty hallway, there was no answer.

  “El?”

  Dale was starting to get worried when he heard voices and a door slam to his right. He turned, only to see Ellis hurrying his way. Dale smiled and opened his mouth to greet his boyfriend only to frown when Ellis got closer.

  “El? What happened to you?”

  Ellis jumped and yelped. “Shit! You scared me to death!”

  “What happened to you?” Dale repeated. Ellis’s eye was swollen, enough that he probably couldn’t see well. Dale also noticed him wince when he moved his arm.

  “I had… it was an accident.”

  “Don’t lie to me, El. What happened?”

  Ellis shook his head. “Look, can we go? I’ll tell you later, once I’m home.”

  Dale let Ellis’s bag fall on the floor again and moved closer. He cupped his boyfriend’s cheek and angled his face so it was in the light. “Who punched you?”

  “Dale, please.”

  “Just tell me, El. You know I’ll find out. Was it Mark?”

  Ellis’s gaze slid downward, and Dale knew he’d nailed it. “Of course it was Mark. What happened? What did he do? Where is he?”

  Dale made to move the way Ellis had come from, but Ellis grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Dale, please. No. Leave him alone.”

  “He hurt you.”

  “I know, but I still don’t want you to go there. I don’t want you to hit him. He’s not worth it.”

  Dale tightened his hands in fists but stayed put. “Only if you tell me what happened.”

  Dale took a better look at Ellis and noticed his T-shirt was hooked on the open button of his jeans. “El? Tell me he didn’t touch you,” Dale asked in a dead voice. He didn’t think he could bear the idea of Mark hurting Ellis that way.

  Ellis shook his head. “He tried. But he stopped before doing anything!” he finished hurriedly when Dale made to move away again. “Look, I’m fine. He tried to—to rape me, maybe. I’m not even sure it’s what he wanted to do, but—”

  “For God’s sake, El! He opened your jeans! If that doesn’t mean he was going to rape you, I don’t know what does.”

  “Okay, fine, he was going to, but he stopped, okay?”

  “Why are you even trying to defend him?” Dale was seething. He didn’t care what Ellis said, Mark had tried to rape him, and he had to pay, one way or the other.

  “I’m not defending him! I’m trying to keep you here because I need you with me, not hitting him!” Ellis yelled, his face flushed and his one good eye wide and shining with unshed tears.

  Dale froze. In all this, he’d only been thinking about putting his hands on Mark, making him pay, when Ellis needed him. “I’m an asshole. El, I’m sorry.”

  Ellis wiped the tear that had rolled down his cheek. “It’s okay. I get it, but I don’t think going after him is going to solve anything. He’s going to pay anyway, Dale. I don’t want him to have a reason to even try to take you down with him.”

  “He’s going to pay?”

  Ellis chuckled through the tears. “What? You thought I wouldn’t report this? I learned my lesson. Besides, this is a lot worse than pushing me around the hallways or insulting me. I’m not going to let him get away with it, not this time.”

  “Let’s go.” Dale picked up the bag from the floor and gently took Ellis’s hand. Ellis hissed, and Dale snatched his hand away. “Shit, did I hurt you?”

  “No, no. I hurt my wrist when I fell, before. I think it might be broken.”

  “I’m taking you to the ER.”

  “Wait, we have to stop at Mr. Shea’s office. We can tell him, and he can call the cops.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  Everything after that was a blur. Dale and Ellis talked with Mr. Shea, and he called the police and an ambulance. Ellis was taken to the hospital, and Dale followed in his car. Ellis was grateful for his presence, even though Dale had to stay outside while the doctor checked him over. Ellis’s only problem was his wrist, and Dale sneaked in while it was put in a cast, but unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one. Two police officers entered a few minutes after Dale, and both Ellis and Dale had to answer a thousand questions. By the time they were done, Ellis’s parents had arrived.

  Ellis’s dad looked ready to murder Mark when he saw him, but a few whispered words from Ellis calmed him down. Dale didn’t know what he’d said, but it was effective.

  They were all exhausted by the time the doctor said Ellis could go home. Dale hovered next to the door, unsure of what to do, but Ellis smiled at him from the bed he was still sitting on and waved him closer. Dale carefully wrapped his boyfriend in a hug, and Ellis held on, his good hand clutching at Dale’s shoulders.

  Someone cleared their throat behind Dale, and he moved away, smiling awkwardly at Ellis’s mother. She smiled back, but she looked tired and older than Dale had ever seen her. “El, we’re going home.”

  Ellis bit his lower lip. His gaze went from his mother to Dale, then back. “Can Dale come too?”

  Ellis’s mom hesitated. “Are you sure? After what happened….”

  “I’m sure, Mom. Dale wouldn’t hurt me. I just need him close for a bit. Please?”

  She sighed. “All right. Are you riding with him?”

  “Yes.”

  THE DRIVE to Ellis’s house was silent. Dale could feel Ellis was still tense, but he relaxed as they neared his home. Ellis didn’t even stop in the kitchen to eat or talk to his brother. He made a beeline for the stairs when he entered the house, pulling Dale along with him, and Dale followed without protesting.

  He waited in Ellis’s room as Ellis showered, coming back from the bathroom a lot redder than he should
have, his injured eye swollen and his cast still wrapped in plastic.

  He climbed in his bed without saying anything, pulled the comforter over his head but then straightened and crawled out of bed again. He got to his dresser, took out a pair of sweats, and threw them at Dale’s head, then buried himself in the bed again.

  Dale watched everything with a bemused smile on his lips. He quickly took off his jeans and sweater, leaving both on the chair in front of Ellis’s desk. Then he slipped on the sweats and climbed under the covers next to his boyfriend.

  Ellis unbundled himself and wrapped himself around Dale’s side. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep.

  “ARE YOU nervous?”

  Ellis folded the corner of the top sheet in his hands, then smoothed it out. “Yeah.”

  “You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

  Ellis knew Dale was right, although things had been more than a little weird ever since Mark had been arrested and his parents had withdrawn him from school. No one knew what had happened exactly, so the rumors were going wild. Ellis had heard everything, from Mark suddenly being a single father to him doing drugs, having a car accident, or moving to Europe. Everyone seemed to think they had the one correct answer, and sometimes Ellis had to stop himself from yelling at them to stop talking about Mark.

  Ellis had thought about him and what had happened more than enough, and the fact that he was reminded of Mark every day made things hard for him, especially since some of the people in his year had realized it might have something to do with him. They weren’t blind, and Ellis had had the cast on his wrist for five weeks. It hadn’t been hard for some people to add up the cast and Mark’s sudden disappearance, but even those who’d made the connection didn’t know what had happened in the bathroom.

  “All right,” Mr. Shea said to Luke and Nick. “I was impressed by your arguments for animal experimentation, although I do hope you’re not really in favor of it. You did a good job, though.”

  Luke and Nick walked back to their seats, and Ellis dried his hands on his jeans. He gulped as Mr. Shea looked over his list, then right at him. Mr. Shea arched a brow in question, and Ellis nodded. His teacher had been especially attentive to him ever since that evening, but without showing it outright.

  “It’s Dale’s and Ellis’s turn. Come on to the front of the classroom.”

  Ellis took a deep breath and got up. He followed Dale up front and came to stand beside his boyfriend. He sneaked a peek at Dale and found him smiling back at him. Then Dale started talking. “We chose the same-sex couples should be treated the same as other couples in regards to discounts for dance tickets, meals, corsage, and any other ‘couple’ perks essay.”

  There were a few snickers in the room, but a glance from Mr. Shea was enough to stop them.

  It was Ellis’s turn. “We decided I would be the one arguing for it while Dale would argue against. As you can imagine, it wasn’t easy for either of us to write that part of the essay. But why should same-sex couples be treated as other couples in regards to prom? That’s easy. It’s because they are like any other couple. We want the same thing—to be able to be together without being insulted and bullied, to be able to dance together and have our picture taken. We want to be able to have fun with the person we love, just like every single one of you.”

  Ellis had everyone’s attention by the time he paused and Dale started talking again. He frowned at his paper as he read the against points from it, but he didn’t stop, not even when some students agreed with what he was saying and Mr. Shea had to shush them again

  Ellis didn’t know whether his and Dale’s essay would make a difference in the way some of the people in his class thought, but he had every intention of going to prom with Dale, and he hoped he’d made that—and the fact that he didn’t want to be bullied for it—obvious.

  Now he had to wait and see if it was a possible thing to obtain.

  Chapter Eighteen

  ELLIS’S HANDS were sweaty. He was already so nervous, and he couldn’t imagine how much more he’d be when Dale arrived, or gosh, when they got to the school.

  He looked at himself in the mirror and gulped. He knew he should have picked the black suit instead of the dark gray one. And why had he chosen a dark tie? Why not the red one or the green? And he didn’t even want to think about his hair, mainly because he’d been playing with it for the past thirty minutes, and he still hadn’t managed to get it perfectly right, the way he wanted it.

  The doorbell rang through the house, and Ellis’s eyes widened. He looked at the time on his phone and shit, he was late.

  “El? Dale’s here!” Mom called from downstairs.

  Ellis cracked open his door and yelled back, “Tell him I’ll be right there!”

  “Hurry up!”

  He closed the door again and turned back to the mirror. He smoothed his hands down his chest and stomach, straightened his tie, and made a last, desperate attempt to get his hair to stick to the style he wanted. He gave up after a minute, because it was obvious there was nothing more he could do, and he didn’t want Dale to wait too long.

  Ellis looked at himself one last time, took a deep breath, and strode to his door. He grabbed his phone and his keys from the desk as he passed by it and paused at the top of the stairs. He’d witnessed this scene twice already, although he’d never been in the protagonist’s role.

  He knew his mom was waiting for him downstairs with his dad and her camera ready to snap picture after picture of Ellis in his suit. She’d done it with both his brothers, but this time she was over the moon because she’d be able to take pictures of Ellis’s date as well. Connor and Damien had both left the house alone when they’d gone to their prom nights, but Dale had come to pick Ellis up instead. Ellis could’ve asked to borrow his mom’s or his dad’s car, but it was easier this way, and he didn’t mind.

  Well, he did mind, but only because he hated being in the spotlight, and that was exactly what was about to happen. At least it wouldn’t last long. Or maybe it would.

  Ellis was pretty sure he and Dale would make a lot of heads turn when they got to the school. People were used to seeing them together by now, but seeing them together in school and at prom would be different. Hopefully, a good different.

  There were still those who insulted Ellis when he passed by them, those who made fun of him, but it was okay. He didn’t care about them. He wouldn’t see any of them once he started college anyway. The people who mattered—Ellis’s parents, Dale’s family, their friends—were happy for them, and it was enough. It wasn’t always easy, but they’d made it through high school. Mark hadn’t come back to school after what had happened before Christmas, and it had made Ellis’s life easier and less stressful.

  “El?” Mom’s head appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Her expression softened when she saw Ellis standing there, and she smiled at him. “Are you coming downstairs, or do you need another minute?”

  “I’m coming.”

  Ellis hurried down the stairs and tried to ignore the way his mom started taking pictures as soon as he walked down the last step. Dale was standing at the foot of the stairs, looking incredibly handsome in his black suit. He was smiling at Ellis, the smile wide and happy. Ellis couldn’t stop himself. He smiled back, and his heart beat a little faster.

  “You’re very, uh, handsome.”

  Dale chuckled. “You too, El.” He raised a hand and offered a transparent plastic box to Ellis.

  Ellis looked at it and frowned a bit at the flower. “It’s not exactly a corsage.”

  “No, but it’s a boutonniere. You stick it in the pocket, like I did. Mom insisted I had to give it to you. She, uh, she bought both yours and mine, actually. I hadn’t thought about it.”

  Ellis looked at Dale’s chest, and sure enough, there was a white rose above his heart. Ellis knew how much that small gesture meant for Dale. His mom wasn’t exactly over the moon about Ellis yet, but she was getting there. Her relationship with Dale was better, and she’d i
nvited both him and Ellis over for lunch next Sunday.

  Ellis smiled and opened the box, but his mom stopped him before he could put the rose on his jacket. “Stop! Let Dale do it, huh?”

  Dale stepped forward. He gently took the flower from the box and pinned it to Ellis’s jacket, careful not to ruin it. He patted Ellis’s chest and kissed his cheek, and Ellis could have sworn he heard his mother sigh in happiness.

  Someone whistled, and Ellis looked up only to groan and look down again. “Did you two have nowhere better to be?”

  Damien grinned and threw an arm around Ellis’s shoulders. “Nope. We couldn’t miss our baby brother going to his senior prom.”

  Dale moved away, and Connor came to stand before Ellis. He straightened Ellis’s suit and smiled. “You’re dashing.”

  “Can we let Mom take the pictures she needs and avoid talking about this?” Ellis whined.

  Both his brothers laughed but did as he’d asked. Their mom took what felt like a thousand pictures with various combinations of people in them—Ellis and Dale, Ellis and his brothers, Ellis and his father—and asked Connor to take a picture of her and Ellis together.

  It took a half hour for Ellis and Dale to be able to step outside, and Ellis took a relieved breath when they finally did. Dale walked him to the passenger side of the car and Ellis scowled at him, but Dale just smirked. He opened the door, but before Ellis could slide into the car, Dale leaned forward and kissed him.

  Ellis was very much aware of the fact that he was standing in front of his house, with his mom probably spying from the window, but he kissed Dale back until Dale moved away.

  “Nervous?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

  The drive to school was silent, and Dale took Ellis’s hand as soon as Ellis stepped out of the car. He squeezed, and they smiled at each other.

  They walked to the school, Ellis’s heart beating like crazy. Dale gave their tickets to the girl at the booth. They could already hear music blaring, even before they reached the gym.