by Amy Cross
"Let's not get this blown out of proportion," I say, backing away from Daniel. "If you want me to apologize to someone, or atone for something, just let me know how to do it and..." I turn to see the other men making their way toward me. "There's no need for this to turn ugly," I add, trying not to panic.
"It's not for me to decide how you must be punished for your actions," Daniel continues. "Only the Forbidders can make that decision, and their word is law. They will decide the severity of your punishment. They will decide if there are any mitigating factors, and they will decide when and how to deal with you." He pauses for a moment. "On the eve of our great journey, we cannot afford to anger them. We will wait until sundown, and then you will be sent up to meet the Forbidders face to face, and that is when you will be punished as they see fit."
Vanguard
"Wake up!" Sharpe shouts, shaking my arm. "For fuck's sake, open your eyes and get up!"
Slowly, I turn to look at him; as I do so, I feel the metal and chains in my neck start to bump against one another. I barely have sufficient strength to formulate a coherent thought, and already my eyelids are starting to droop once again.
"Don't go back to sleep!" Sharpe shouts, slapping the side of my face. "We've got a problem! A big problem! Claire's going to be sent up to the top of the shelves to face the Forbidders!"
I try to open my mouth, to say something, but the pain in my gut is too strong. I let my head rest against the ground, and despite Sharpe's continued protestations I find myself slipping back into unconsciousness. "Vanguard!" he shouts. "You have to do something! They're going to send her up there! You don't understand, it's -"
His words float away as I sink back into darkness.
Claire
"I don't want you to think that this is something I enjoy," Daniel says as he lights a torch. Night has fallen and it's clear that the wait is over. "You're my guest. I would prefer to treat you with civility and courtesy, but I'm afraid your behavior has made that impossible. I fully understand that it was an involuntary gesture on your part, but the fact remains that you showed great disregard for the ways of our people. Were it just a matter for me, I would of course allow you to go free. But by doing so, I would myself be angering the Forbidders, and my people would suffer. We've worked so hard for the opportunity to start again, and I can't let everything slip through our fingers. If I let you go, I'd be endangering everyone else. You understand, don't you?"
"It's weird," I say, staring back at him as I try to hide the fear that's pulsing in my chest. "The way you're talking, it's almost as if you don't expect me to come back down."
"The Forbidders are harsh masters," he continues. "They are fair, but they expect recompense when they are slighted. They will not have taken kindly to your little display earlier, nor will they be willing to overlook the offense. You can only hope and pray that they will show you some mercy. After all, they will be fully aware that you are new to the Library, so perhaps they will decide that you can be granted some lenience. However, I do not wish to fill you with false hope. You must face them with a courageous heart, and you must try to show them your strength. But I must acknowledge that of all the people who have been sent up to the top of the shelves... no-one has ever returned."
"Vanguard doesn't even think they exist," I say, glancing over at the other men, who seem to have gathered solemnly to witness my ascent to the top of the shelves. The sun is setting and more torches have been lit, and I'm pretty certain the moment has arrived. Fortunately, however, I'm fairly confident that these Forbidder creatures don't exist. I trust Vanguard's take on things.
"Vanguard lies," Daniel says. "He lies to you, and to me, and most of all he lies to himself. Why else would he continue to deny the existence of the Forbidders, when he is one of the very few in the Library who has seen one of the creatures and survived the experience?"
"He's seen one?" I ask.
"Of course. But he forces himself to forget what happened. He prefers to wrap his mind in the childish notion that the Forbidders are a fairytale. He can't face the truth, but the truth is up there, on top of the shelves. That's where you'll find the roof of our world."
"Huh," I say, looking up at the top of the shelves. Like everything else here, it all sounds so crazy and unbelievable. "So there'll be one of these creatures up there waiting for me, will there?"
"It is likely," Daniel says. "They will deal with you as they see fit. It is a sin to presume that one can predict the response of the Forbidders, so I shall not even try."
"But if you've never seen them," I point out, "how do you know what you're allowed to do? Where do these rules come from? Do you just make them up as you go along?"
"They come from observing the fate of others," he says. "I have seen men taunt the Forbidders, and they have all died. I have seen men denounce the very existence of the Forbidders and they, too, have all died. Only those who honor and respect our masters have been seen to thrive. It is therefore to be assumed that the Forbidders look favorably upon those who know their place." He turns and looks to the horizon. "The sun has set. It's time, Claire. Do you have any words that you would like me to pass on to Vanguard when he awakens? I can assure you that I will speak most favorably of your attitude in these final moments."
I take a deep breath. My heart is racing, but there's no way I want Daniel and the other men to see that I'm scared. "It's fine," I say eventually. "I'll tell him myself when I get back down. When it comes to the Forbidders, I think I'm gonna believe his version rather than yours. You're just living in fear. There's nothing up there. I've already made one mistake in the Library. I convinced myself that it was all a coma-induced fantasy, and the reason I was able to believe that lie was that I wanted it to be true. This time, though, I know I'm right. There's nothing up there." I glance over at him. "So how long do I have to stay up there before I can come down again?"
Daniel smiles. "I admire your courage."
"You'll admire a lot more about me by the time this is over," I reply, turning to face the nearest shelf. "Vanguard was right. You believe in the Forbidders because you're scared of a world where there's no guiding hand that's going to reward you for your actions."
"And what of your lack of belief?" Daniel replies. "Is that not also drawn from fear? Either way, Claire, you will know the answer shortly. I have absolute faith in my belief. Do you have absolute faith in yours?" He hands me a flaming torch. "It's dark up there. You'll need this."
Deciding that I have to get this over with, I hold the torch between my teeth and start climbing up the shelf. It's hard to see my way in the darkness, and I come close a couple of times to losing my footing. Although there's a part of me that worries about what I might find at the top, I can't shake the feeling that all this talk of Forbidders and monsters and mysterious laws is, basically, a load of hot air. It seems that there's no actual proof that the Forbidders exist, and I kind of trust Vanguard when he says that the legend of the Forbidders is based on superstition. After all, how can these creatures exist up on the tops of the shelves, when almost no-one has ever seen them? It's pretty obvious that Daniel and his followers have whipped themselves up into a kind of paranoid fury, believing that the Forbidders are governing their every action. How can they be so scared of something that they've never seen?
And why are my hands trembling?
As I get close to the top, I pause for a moment and look back down. All I see is darkness, but I know that Daniel and his followers are still staring up at me. Even though I can't see them, I know they can see the torch I'm carrying; they're convinced that their belief in the Forbidders is about to be proven correct. Taking a deep breath, I remind myself once again that Vanguard says the Forbidders aren't real, and finally I climb over the top of the shelf.
It takes me a moment to get my bearings. Standing up carefully, I hold the torch out in front of me and watch as the flame flickers a little in the darkness. Turning, I see that the shelf is about two meters wide and extends about a hundred m
eters in each direction. The torch doesn't allow me to see very much, but at least I won't accidentally wander straight off the edge. It's pretty cold up here, and I can see various lights shining in the distance. I guess people have campfires all over the Library. Looking to my left, I see flames roaring just a few kilometers away; I guess the war is still raging. To my surprise, there seem to be a few lights in the Citadel itself, which means there must be someone still living there.
"Hello?" I call out, turning in a full circle, peering into the darkness in an attempt to see whether I'm alone. After all, if Daniel's to be believed, there should be some kind of huge monster waiting for me up here. Frankly, I'm expecting nothing less than a big red dragon that's ready to rip my guts to pieces. So far, though, there doesn't appear to be anything. I can't help wondering how long I'm supposed to wait; then again, I guess I could just try to make my way to freedom by jumping from shelf to shelf. The Citadel doesn't look that far, and I'm sure Vanguard and Sharpe would be able to -
"You came," whispers a voice, close to my ear.
Spinning around, I almost lose my balance. After taking a moment to steady myself, I glance about, trying to see the person who spoke.
"Don't be alarmed," he continues, still whispering into my ear from behind. "I've been expecting you."
I turn, but once again there's no sign of anyone.
"You were reluctant to come up here. I understand that. The unknown is always terrifying."
"Where are you?" I ask.
"More importantly, Claire, where are you?"
"You know my name," I say quietly. "What's yours?"
"I thought you were told all about me."
"I was told there'd be something up here," I reply. "These things called Forbidders. Is that what you are?"
"A Forbidder?" He pauses again. "No, Claire. That's not what I am. But I'm certainly connected to them. One might say that I'm their emissary."
"So they sent you?"
"They're very interested in you," he continues. "They noted your arrival, and they are been tracking your every step. They're currently trying to decide whether they should allow you to reach the Citadel."
"That's nice of them," I say. "So why did they send you? Why didn't one of them come in person?"
"That's really not how they operate," the voice replies. "They prefer to send others to speak for them, but rest assured that talking to me is as good as talking to one of them. I have their full authority to make certain offers that might interest you."
"I'm not up here to listen to offers," I say. "I was sent up here to -"
"To atone for vomiting up a load of foul Grandapam meat," he says. "Yes, the Forbidders know all about that. To be honest, the Forbidders were pleased with your reaction. They pity the fools who seek their patronage, and they prefer those who show a little independence. You, Claire, have impressed them greatly. They usually kill anyone who makes for the Citadel, but they're minded to let you get closer and closer, perhaps even to allow you through the gates. Trust me, you would not take another step if they wished you to keep away."
"What do they want from me?" I ask.
"They're not sure yet," he continues. "Until you arrived, they were quite happy with the Library's present balance, but you present something new. An opportunity, or perhaps a threat. It's quite something to see the level of attention they have turned to your presence, Claire. They find you fascinating, and they feel that perhaps they can use you to their benefit."
"I just want to go home," I reply.
"They know," he says. "They know everything. They might be willing to offer you a deal. After all, you most certainly can't return home unless they allow you to reach the Citadel. So they feel they have the upper hand, and that you'll most likely accept their very kind, very generous offer."
"What offer is that?"
"They haven't formulated it precisely yet," he says. "They're working on the exact wording, but the gist of the situation is that they believe you could fill a very important gap that currently exists within the Citadel. All that worries them is that you might not be amenable to the arrangement. They fear you could rebel against their wishes."
"I want to go home," I say again. "I'm not here to fight any battles. I just want to get back to where I came from."
"And that is what they are offering," the voice whispers. "But you must understand that time works differently in the Library. You could spend ten thousand years here, and return to your own world mere moments after you left. Conversely, you could be here for a few seconds, and find that your world has aged and burned and died. So you must be careful not to take such matters into consideration when you make your decision."
"I don't want a deal," I say firmly. "I just want to go home."
"Then don't think of it as a deal," he replies. "Think of it as an explanation of the only route back to your own world. You need to be careful who you trust, Claire. At least the Forbidders will be fully open with you, whereas others might conceal their motives. After all, why do you think Vanguard and Sharpe are really so keen to get you to the Citadel? Do you think they put themselves in such extreme danger for no reason other than their generosity?"
"They want to help me."
"Don't be naive. Vanguard, for one, cares only about restoring himself to his former stature. He was a strong warrior once, known and feared throughout the land, and he wants nothing more than to return to that position. When he encountered you, he realized he had finally chanced upon a golden opportunity. He plans to cook you and serve you at a banquet. Sharpe, meanwhile, merely wishes to ingratiate himself with those who have power. He happened upon you quite by accident when he was collecting some books from our world that had ended up in yours, and now he hopes to weasel his way into a strong position."
"That's not true," I say. "Vanguard just wants to help me."
"Stick with that attitude," he replies, "and you'll end up roasting on a spit. You saw what Daniel did to those Grandapams. Why should Vanguard view you any differently? Human meat is a delicacy here, Claire. It is prized far more highly than anything else, and you're in great danger if you allow Vanguard to have his way. He'll pick the meat off your bones, and off that metal rod that runs through your spine."
"You seem to know a lot about me," I say, turning in an attempt to get a look at this guy's face. "Why can't I see you?" I ask. "Why are you hiding?"
"It's in my nature," he replies. "I'm aware that my face is perhaps not as attractive as it could be. If you saw me, you might be repelled. I know what humans are like. They see something beautiful and they assume it must be good, and anything ugly must be bad. I cannot afford for you to judge me according to those standards. I am neither good nor evil. I am simply a messenger who aims to make you aware of the truth of your situation. I would hate to see you fall into Vanguard's trap and end up on his table with an apple in your mouth."
I take a deep breath. "So what now?" I ask eventually. "Am I supposed to just climb back down and act like everything's okay?"
He pauses. "We are not alone," he says eventually. "One of my masters has joined us."
"Your masters?"
"He will negotiate with you directly. He believes one can only truly strike a deal if one can see the eyes of the other individual."
"I don't know what you -" Suddenly I stop as I hear a strange rattling sound behind me. A cold sweat passes through my body as I realize what the voice means when he refers to his 'masters'.
"I will recuse myself," the voice says. "You must turn and face my master."
I stand in silence for a moment, and the rattling sound returns; seconds later, I feel something brush the back of my neck. I know I have to turn around and face it, but at the same time I'm gripped by fear. There's another rattle, and finally I feel something breathing just a few inches from the back of my head. Taking a deep breath, I turn and stare straight into the face of a Forbidder.
Vanguard
"Claire," I whisper as I open my eyes. Above me, I see nothin
g but stars, and it takes me a few seconds to realize that I'm no longer in pain. "Claire!" I say, sitting up.
"She's gone," says Sharpe, sitting nearby. It's dark between the aisles, but he's picked out in a patch of moonlight.
"What do you mean?" I ask. "Gone where?"
"Gone away. Gone for good. Your old friend sent her up to the top so she could meet the Forbidders." He sighs. "That was hours ago. For a while, they could see her torch still burning, but eventually even that was extinguished. Claire hasn't been seen since, which is no great surprise. Daniel basically sent her to her death."
Getting to my feet, I find that my sword is still in its sheath. "Why did this happen?" I ask, feeling an uncommon anger start to build in my gut. "Why did you let him do this?"
"What could I do to stop him?" Sharpe asks. "I'm just a little ball with legs and a helmet. I did the only thing I could. I came to wake you up, but you were too far gone. You just kept swatting me away. By the time I got back there, she'd already gone up and the rest is history. There's no hope. I failed."
"We must find her!" I say, marching quickly back toward Daniel's encampment. Although I am fully aware that no mere human could ever survive an encounter with a Forbidder, I am nevertheless determined to see if perhaps there might be hope. Sharpe's version of events might be incorrect, and Daniel might have seen the error of his ways at the last moment. After all, I can see no reason why he would benefit from sending Claire up to face certain death.
"My friend!" Daniel says as he sees me approach. He is sitting with some other men around a campfire. "I have wonderful news," he continues, getting to his feet. "We are to set off at dawn for our new -"
Not waiting for him to finish, I grab him by the collar and throw him against the nearest shelf. "Where is she?" I shout, unsheathing my sword and holding it to his throat. "You will tell me now, and if I do not like your answer, I will crush you!"
