by Amy Cross
"She's gone," he splutters, barely able to breathe. "I had no choice, Vanguard -"
"Gone where?" I say firmly, leaning close to his face. "I must warn you. If you tell me she has gone up to the top of the shelves, I will have no choice but to gut you like a fish."
"She offended the Forbidders," he says, trying to pull my hand from his neck. "They needed to be appeased. They were growing angrier by the second."
"Show me where she went," I reply, tossing him across the aisle. Grabbing a shelf for support, he stares back at me with thinly-disguised malice. "Show me!" I shout, advancing upon him once again.
"There!" he says, pointing to the opposite shelf. "Right there. She climbed up, holding a torch. We could see the light burning up there for a while, but then it went out. We heard voices, too, though there were mere whispers, and then we heard the sound of a Forbidder. The rattle. And then there was nothing."
Looking up, I see nothing but the top of the shelf and, beyond that, the stars.
"She offended them," Daniel continues. "She spat good food onto the ground and -"
"That is not why you did this," I say, forcing myself to hold back from killing him. "You did this because you want good fortune on the next part of your journey. You offered her as a sacrifice. Regardless of whether or not she had spat up some food, you were going to find some way to force her up there. That's why you poisoned me. You knew you couldn't kill me, but you hoped some toxic Burrow Worms would knock me out long enough for you to send her to her death!"
He stares at me. "We need all the good omens we can get..." he starts to say eventually, his voice sounding weak.
"So you sent her up there to die," I continue, "purely because of your superstitions."
"You're not making much sense, Vanguard," he replies. "You say you don't believe in the Forbidders, yet you seem to think Claire must be dead. Surely, if they don't exist, Claire will still be up there, alive and well?" He smiles. "If you truly don't believe that they're real, and if you truly insist that you have never seen one, then I fail to see why you don't climb up there after her." He pauses. "But you won't go up, will you? You're fully aware that the Forbidders are real. You're one of the very few people in the Library to have seen one and lived to tell the tale."
"I have never seen one," I reply, becoming increasingly annoyed at his assertions. "How could I see something that I know in my heart to be impossible?"
"Have you really blocked the image from your mind?" he asks. "What's wrong? Can't you bear to remember that day? It seems to me that you're a man cut off from his true life. You're not the warrior I once knew. You're just a shell of a man, trudging around in hollow armor and waving a sword at anyone who displeases you. You're facing your twilight years, Vanguard. Is this really how you want it all to end? Escorting a human girl to the Citadel so you can attempt to curry favor with the surviving Elders? Is that really the limit of your ambitions? You might as well just roll over and die right now."
"There will be only one further death here tonight," I say, raising my sword, "and it will not be mine."
"Vanguard!" shouts Sharpe, standing next to me.
"Not now," I reply, fixing my gaze on Daniel.
"It's Claire!" Sharpe replies.
Looking up, I see a figure at the top of the shelf. For a moment, it looks as if she's staring straight down at us, although the dark night makes it difficult to discern her features; seconds later, she seems to turn and then fall, tumbling down between the shelves. Dropping my sword, I reach out just in time to catch her, and she falls limp into my arms.
"Is she breathing?" Daniel asks, hurrying toward us.
"Barely," I say, turning and carrying her to a bare patch of soil. As the others gather around us, I kneel and set Claire down. She's clearly unconscious, but she has no obvious wounds. I check her pulse and find that she seems strong, and her skin is warm to the touch. There is no blood, and no torn skin, and yet she seems to be lost in some kind of reverie.
"What's wrong with her?" Sharpe asks.
"I have no idea," I reply, tilting her head toward me. "Claire! You must open your eyes!"
"Your bedside manner is lacking," Daniel says. "Claire, can you hear us? You're safe. You're among friends. If you can hear us at all, give us a sign." He puts a hand on the side of her face, but I brush him aside. "She's cold," he continues. "Her breathing is shallow."
We wait, but she remains completely still. The only movement comes from her chest as it slowly rises and falls; it is as if she has been put under some kind of spell.
"Perhaps she will wake up of her own accord," Daniel says. "I have some herbs that might help -"
"She will take nothing that you give her," I snap at him. "You have already done quite enough!"
"She needs strength," he replies. "She hasn't eaten for days, and she threw up her last meal. At least let me fetch her some water. She'll die otherwise."
"No!" I say, taking a small bottle from around my waist. Opening the lid, I pour the last of my water onto her lips. It's only a few drops, but at least I know that it's clean; given the way he poisoned me earlier, I am unwilling to trust Daniel at all.
"It's no use," Sharpe says. "She's not going to wake up, not unless -" He turns and starts digging through the soil, and eventually he pulls out a handful of Burrow Worms. "These aren't toxic," he says. "You can tell. They don't have black markings on their bellies. That means they're okay, doesn't it?"
"We can't be certain!" I hiss back at him.
"Then what do we do?" he replies. "She'll die if she doesn't eat something. These are better than nothing, aren't they?"
I want to push his pathetic offering away, but deep down I know that he's right. Grabbing the worms, I slip them one by one into her mouth; as the worms make their way down her throat and into her stomach, her neck twitches, and finally she's still again.
"If this doesn't work," Sharpe continues, "I don't see what else we can do."
"I can find food for her," Daniel says.
"She will not eat a mouthful of your food," I insist.
"You'd rather let her die?" Daniel asks.
Looking down at Claire's face, I realize that an unfamiliar sensation is spreading through my body. I feel helpless. For perhaps only the second or third time in my life, there is nothing I can do but wait. Feeding Claire any of Daniel's food would be too great a risk; he has already shown himself willing to poison those around him in order to get what he wants, and I cannot be certain that he would keep any promise to help us. On the other hand, Claire is clearly weak, and I'm not convinced she'll be able to pull through without significant help. If she dies... Sighing, I realize that I might be worrying unnecessarily. After all, we are close to the Citadel, so I can keep her meat fresh if she dies tonight. Then again, I seem to have lost my focus; it's as if I'm more concerned with saving Claire's life than with serving her as a meal to the Elders.
"Why waste your time helping a human?" Daniel asks. "She's an intruder. She doesn't belong to this world. Let her die, and come with us. Together, we can find a new land. With your strength, Vanguard, and my brains, we can establish a new civilization."
I turn to him. "Let me make one thing very clear," I say. "Next time we meet, I will kill you. I should have done it before, and I should do it now, but I must focus on the task at hand. You must set off on your journey soon, and get as far away from here as possible, because I can assure you that once Claire has been brought back to full health, I will happily rip your body apart."
"Revenge?" he asks, smiling. "For what I did to you all those years ago? I thought you were beyond such basic needs."
Looking back down at Claire, I realize that perhaps we're already too late. The fall clearly hurt her, but I feel that there might be something else wrong with her. I don't understand what happened to her up on the top of the shelves, or why she was up there for so long.
"This can't happen," Sharpe says, staring at Claire. "She can't die."
"Perhaps we cannot s
top it," I reply calmly.
"You don't understand," he snaps. For the first time, I see genuine fear and panic in his eyes, as if he knows something that he has kept from me. "It absolutely can't happen, under any circumstances." He takes a deep breath. "She's not just a random human. Haven't you been wondering why I was in her house in the first place, and why I brought her here?"
"Because you're a fool," I reply. "Why? Is there some other reason?"
"I was sent to fetch her," he continues. "It's vital that she gets to the Citadel, and..." He pauses. "I've said too much, but she can't die. Not yet. She has to make it all the way."
"What are you keeping from me?" I ask, realizing that Sharpe is hiding the truth. "You will tell me what is really happening here, or I shall slice you up and throw your carcass to the ticks."
He stares at me. "I can't say," he tells me eventually. "I was sworn to secrecy, but you just have to trust me. We need to get her to the Citadel, and she needs to be alive when she arrives. Do you think you can just trust me on this?"
"Why would anyone entrust a lowly creature such as you with an important job?" I ask. "And why would anyone in the Library care about a human?"
"I can't tell you!" he says. "Not until we're there, but do you seriously think I'd be spending one more second in your company if I didn't think it was absolutely vital? We have to get her to the Citadel or everything's going to be in vain. Can you get that through your thick, brick-like head? If she dies, everything dies. There's no doubt about this. You're just going to have to trust me, Vanguard. For once in your stinking, miserable life, you're going to have to trust me. You got that?"
I open my mouth to argue with him, but at that moment I see Claire's head start to move. Her eyes are opening slowly, though she still looks dazed and confused, and her pupils are slightly dilated. There's clearly something seriously wrong with her, and as a warrior, I am fully aware that it is beyond my abilities to keep her alive. For that, we shall need the assistance of someone with more experience in these matters. As Claire stares up at me, I can't help wondering why Sharpe is so keen to get her to the Citadel, and what will happen when we arrive, but fate has intervened and made it necessary for us to complete our journey as quickly as possible.
"We must move fast," I say, turning and walking along the aisle. Sharpe keeps pace, clearly concerned about Claire's health.
"What about us?" Daniel calls out. "We need you, Vanguard! With your help, we can prosper! We can work together again! We can rebuild!"
I glance back at him. "I am going to let you die in the cruelest, most painful way possible," I tell him. "I am going to let you pursue your dream until it collapses around you. Forbidders or not, your quest to start a new civilization will never succeed. You will find no new land. Your men will die. Finally, Daniel, you will be left alone in a wilderness, starved and at the brink of death. In that last moment, you will suffer anguish and regret that will be a thousand times more painful than anything I could do to you with a sword."
He stares at me and, for the first time, I see genuine doubt in his eyes. His faith, which has kept him going for so long and which has compelled him to do such terrible things to Claire, has finally begun to crack. Satisfied, I turn and continue to carry Claire away.
"You can still help us!" Daniel shouts. "You can still come with us!"
I don't answer him. I don't even look back. In normal circumstances, I would have no hesitation in running my sword through his chest, but to do so right now would be to give in to an urge that I must keep suppressed. The most important thing is to get Claire to the Citadel. At first, I planned to cook her body and offer her to the Elders, but I'm starting to think that perhaps she has a great deal more to offer. Judging from the way Sharpe is acting, and the length of time she spent up on top of the shelves, I now believe that Claire represents something more important. All of that will be lost, however, if she dies before we can reach the Citadel. I can only hope that if we get there in time, there will be enough people left to help her, and to bring us to a point that will allow us to work out why she has been sent to help us.
Claire
It's hard to stay awake; instead, I drift in and out of sleep, and I get only the vaguest sense of the world around me. One moment I'm on the ground, staring up at Vanguard and Daniel, the next I feel myself passing through some kind of fog and suddenly I feel the warmth of daylight on my face. I'm being carried in Vanguard's arms, and all I can see is row after row of shelving as we make out way down yet another aisle. I soon pass out again, and when I wake up I'm on the floor, and Sharpe is dripping water into my mouth; I open my lips and gratefully feel the cool, clean water slipping down my throat. A moment later, I wake up in Vanguard's arms again; seconds after that, I open my eyes and once again see the stars above me. Finally, I fall into a deep sleep that seems to last much longer than the others, until I wake up in what feels suspiciously like a real, actual bed.
"Are you hungry?" asks a voice nearby.
Sitting up, I find a woman standing over by the window. Middle-aged and with a kind face, her skin has the same green, reptilian features of the Grandapam from the Library. Smiling, she comes over to the bed and sits next to me, immediately reaching out and checking the temperature of my forehead.
"You've had a fever," she says. "You were rambling in your sleep, talking about all kinds of nonsense. We were quite worried about you for a while."
I stare at her, trying to work out what I should say.
"My name is Natalia," she says, "and your name is Claire. I already know a lot about you. I've been looking after you while you've been sick, and now I'm going to help you as you recover. It's not going to be easy, but I'm sure we'll have you back up on your feet in no time." She pauses. "I'm a Grandapam. I'm sorry, I forgot that perhaps I look a little unusual to a human, but I can assure you that apart from my cold blood and rather different appearance, I'm really quite friendly."
"Where am I?" I ask, looking across the room. The walls seem to be carved out of pale yellow stone, and apart from the bed there's no other furniture. Sunlight is streaming through the window, and there's no sound outside at all, not even birdsong. I know I'm probably being irrational, but I can't help feeling slightly panicked; of all the strange things I saw in the Library, the most horrific was when Daniel had a Grandapam killed for food. Worse still, I actually ate some of Grandapam meat, which means I feel I can barely look Natalia in the eye. I can't help thinking back to the taste of the meat I ate the other day.
"Is something wrong?" she asks.
I shake my head.
"You're safe," she continues. "You're in the Citadel."
"The Citadel?" I force myself to make eye contact with her. Does she know? Can she see from the look in my eyes that I did something so awful? Even though I didn't know at the time what I was eating, I still consumed flesh from her species. I take a deep breath, trying to calm the urge to throw up.
"It took you a long time to get here," she says. "Your friends were very worried about you when you arrived. You were close to death, but we were able to get you back up to full strength. They told me that you're very important, and that I should spare no efforts in order to ensure that you're able to make a full recovery. Now it's just a matter of making sure you don't rush anything. Even if you feel better, your body is still mending. I don't know a lot about human physiology, but you don't seem drastically different to my own species."
"How long have I been here?" I ask, hoping to change the subject.
"Almost a week," she replies.
"A week?" I stare at her. "A whole week?"
"You've been slipping in and out of consciousness. You had a fever for a while. There was a moment when I wasn't sure if you'd make it. Even for a human, there seem to be some very unusual things about you, Claire. Fortunately, you started to rally and now, finally, you're awake. I think you're through the worst of it."
I take a deep breath. The last thing I remember is being up on top of one of the books
helves in the middle of the night. I was talking to someone, and then I felt something behind my back; I remember turning, and I remember feeling the most extreme sense of fear that I've ever known, and then... and then it's as if everything just stopped. I don't remember how I got down from the top of the shelf, and I barely remember the journey here.
"There'll be time for questions later," Natalia says, putting a hand on my arm. Her reptilian skin feels cold to the touch, and I instinctively pull away.
"I'm sorry," I say, quickly reaching back out to her.
"It's fine," she replies, pulling her hand away. "For now, you must rest."
"I need to see where I am," I reply, getting out of bed. I feel stiff and sore and bruised, but I manage to limp over to the window. Looking out, I see the vastness of the Library spread out before me. I'd heard it was big, but it's still shocking to actually see the aisles spreading to the horizon. In the glow of the afternoon sun, the whole place looks surprisingly beautiful, but at the same time it also looks kind of dead. There's no real sign of life out there, and there's no noise, apart from a very distant rumble, which I guess must be coming from the war.
"It wasn't like this before," Natalia says, joining me at the window. "There used to be so much life in the Library. It all changed, though, when the Forbidders came and the war broke out. People fled to the horizon and were never seen again. Since then, a deathly calm has fallen over the place. No-one knows how long this will last, but most of us have given up hoping for relief. The Citadel is the last part of this region that hasn't already fallen to the Forbidders. As far as you can see, from horizon to horizon, their influence is felt. I find it hard to believe that there can be many places left that are safe from their influence."
"I need to find Vanguard," I say, realizing the enormity of this situation. I'd hoped to find a way back home as soon as I walked into the Citadel, but I can already feel myself being drawn into something much bigger. I can't shake the feeling that there's something I've forgotten, something that's bugging me in the back of my mind. I don't feel quite normal, although I suppose that could be something to do with the fact that I've apparently spent the past week fighting for my life; still, I could swear that there's something else... something I should be remembering.
