The Library: The Complete Series (All 8 Books) (2013)

by Amy Cross

  "Dukan had the ability to take the form of a wolf," Ent says.

  Thomas looks over at me. Clearly he's realized that something is very wrong here.

  "So you like wolves?" I ask.

  "Wolves are sacred animals," Ent continues. "They are not seen in the library, but we believe that one day Dukan will return to us. When that moment comes, we must be able to show him that we have conquered the library and spread the word of Dukan to all four corners."

  I stare at the statue. It's been more than a year since I last saw Duncan, and it's kind of strange to see this image of him. Although I'd almost managed to persuade myself that I didn't miss him, I find that I'm now desperately wanting to see his face again - properly, though, rather than as a statue.

  "You are in awe of the Great Dukan!" Ent says. He holds out a cloth hat. "Perhaps you would like to pay a donation of gold coins to show your esteem?"

  "We have no gold," Thomas says.

  Ent sighs. "You must have something," he says.

  "We have food," Thomas says. "Our tribe does not think of money. We think only of feeding ourselves and tending to our land between the shelves."

  Grunting, Ent clearly isn't happy with what Thomas is saying. "Everyone's got a bit of gold stashed away somewhere," he sneers.

  "Not us," Thomas replies. "You're welcome to share in our meals today, but we have no gold to give you."

  I step forward.

  "Get back!" Ent shouts. "You are not fit to approach Dukan's image!"

  "You reckon?" I say, switching to my wolf form.

  Ent and the soldiers step back, clearly shocked. There's a moment where they seem to be completely uncertain as to what they should do, and then finally Ent drops to his knees. "Dukan, you have returned! We have spread your work. There is still much work to be done, but we are moving across the library and converting the savages! Let me..." He pauses, and it's obvious that he's thinking on his feet. "Let me fetch proof!" he stammers. He gets to his feet and hurries into the tent. Moments later, there's a strange sound from inside, almost as if someone is pouring coins into a bag, and then I spot Ent sneaking out the back of the tent with a large cloth sack over his shoulder. He runs off into the distance. Apparently the 'high priest' of the Democratic Patriots of the Library was only in it for the money after all, and now his 'god' has shown up, he just wants to get away as fast as possible.

  I switch back to my human form and step towards the soldiers. "I'm not Dukan," I say. "Actually, you've got his name wrong. It's Duncan, not Dukan, and he's not here. But I'm... I'm like him. I come from the same place. And my message to you is that it's time to stop spreading your crap all over the library. Go home and be peaceful."

  The soldiers get up and hurry away.

  "Wait!" I call out after them. "Tell me, when was the last time that any of your people saw Dukan?"

  One of the soldiers turns back for a moment. "It has been more than two centuries since he came to our people." He bows, and then he follows the others.

  "I thought you said you only came to the library a little over a year ago?" Thomas says.

  "Duncan said he'd been here before," I reply. "I guess all this Dukan business must have happened back then. I'll have to ask him about it, if I ever see him again."

  "You saved us," Thomas says. "You saved our people. We don't have gods, but we will be forever in your debt."

  Stepping into the little tent left behind by the soldiers, we find there are lots of papers left scattered around. That little Ent guy grabbed as much money as he could, but he took off without most of the other stuff he was carrying around. Looking through the papers, I find what appears to be a map. I spread it out and quickly realize that we've got a map of the entire library. It's huge, with each section marked out, plus annotations that seem to show where certain dangers should be avoided.

  "This is it," I say. "This is everything. We can use this to get out of here."

  Thomas comes over and examines the map with me. "Yes," he says simply, though he doesn't sound very impressed. In fact, if anything, he seems a little sad at the prospect of getting out of here. While I want to jump about and celebrate, Thomas seems to be devastated that there's now a chance to leave the library.

  "You don't want to go," I say, turning to him, "do you?"

  "The tribe has accepted that we must live out the rest of our days here, in the library. Our ancestors are buried here. Our stories are about this place. The idea of leaving has always been abstract. Now that there's a real chance, I'm not sure that it's a good idea." He pauses. "Please, don't tell the others about the map. Not yet. I need time to think."

  "You have to tell them," I say. "You have to give them a choice."

  "The prospect of leaving the library is daunting," he says. "I think perhaps my people would prefer to stay here. We've become used to this life, and there would be little to gain from changing everything."

  I want to argue with him, to tell him about the world out there and all the things he could see. But I know my pressure wouldn't work, and perhaps it's unfair of me to assume that I know what's best for these people. If they really want to stay in the library, who am I to argue otherwise? Examining the map, I start to make out a route back to the entrance. "How long will it take me to get over there?" I ask.

  Thomas traces the line with his finger. "Many weeks," he says. "If you wish, I can escort you to the gate."

  "Are you sure you won't come through the gate with me?" I ask.

  He shakes his head. "If it's your desire to leave the library, I would be honored to accompany you on your journey. But once you reach the outside world, you will have to proceed on your own, and I'll come back to my people."

  "Then we'll set off tomorrow," I say.

  Thomas still seems a little sad. "We'll miss you," he says.

  "I'll miss you too," I reply. "All of you, I mean. But you especially, 'cause you were the first one I met." That day when I first encountered Thomas and Lewis now seems so long ago. A year has passed, and although I haven't completely settled into life in the library, I've become very accustomed to spending time with Thomas.

  Later that night, as I prepare for an early-morning departure, Thomas persuades me to take a walk with him. We eventually climb up onto the top of the bookshelves, which is something Thomas says he's never done. Among his tribe, such behavior has long been considered bad luck. Now, finally looking out over the library, he's shocked by the scale of the place.

  "That smoke," he says, pointing at the plume of smoke that has been burning more or less consistently ever since I first came to the library. "That's the great war, isn't it?"

  "Apparently," I say. "I don't think I want to go and find out."

  "And over there," he says, looking in another direction, "that's the ocean in the middle of the library."

  I narrow my eyes a little and see what he's talking about. Far, far away, there's a dark patch that appears to be a body of water. I saw an ocean marked on the map, but it never occurred to me until this moment what that means: this entire library is like a country, with hills and valleys, oceans, fields, and everything else you'd expect. The only different is that the entire place is lined with bookshelves. In the far distance, there's a large structure that seems to loom out from among the shelves.

  "That's the Librarian's Citadel," Thomas says. "Everyone knows about the office. You don't go there. Not ever. The Librarian is not to be disturbed."

  "Let me guess," I say, "there's a yellow-brick road that leads up to the gate?"

  Thomas frowns. "I don't think so," he says. "What makes you say that?"

  I laugh. "It's a joke. And it wouldn't be funny if I had to explain it." I take a deep breath; the air in the library is much cleaner than the air in the outside world. In some ways, this is a great place: there's a kind of order here that stands as a marked contrast to the chaos of the world I come from, and you'd definitely never run out of stuff to read. Sitting here with Thomas, it occurs to me that maybe I'm wrong to run
away. If I can't find Duncan, what's the point of just leaving the library and going back to the world I come from. After all, I kind of fucked up my life back there, and there are a lot of dangers. Couldn't I be happy here, with Thomas? I could help the tribe to improve their encampment, and I could teach them to be stronger and fitter. Then again, they're all human and as a werewolf I'd have to watch them get older and die. Thomas would die eventually, and I'd have to raise another generation of humans, and another, and another. No, I have to get back to 'my' world, where I can at least be free.

  "You look thoughtful," Thomas says.

  "I'm just thinking about how much I'll miss this place," I say. "It's crazy, but this time a year ago I felt trapped, and I was desperate to get out. Now we've got the map, I'm realizing that there are things about the library that I wish I could take with me."

  There's a pause, and then Thomas leans over and kisses me. It's a slow, tender kiss, and it's one that has been threatening to take place for most of the past year. I've felt attracted to Thomas all this time, but I've always resisted doing anything about it because I knew I'd leave one day. Now that I'm about to actually, finally get out of here, I've let my guard down for a moment and the kiss is happening.

  That night, up on top of a wide bookshelf, under the stars, and overlooking the whole of the library, Thomas and I make love. We both know we don't have long left, and we both know that we shouldn't be doing this. But I guess we can't help it. Some things don't have to last forever in order to be beautiful or important. For us, all that matters is the moment. A few hours later, as dawn breaks across the library, I say farewell to the other members of the tribe and Thomas escorts me on the road back to the entrance.

  Three weeks later

  Four

  The sky above is dark, threatening rain any minute, as Thomas and I walk along yet another aisle. We've been on the move for weeks, following the map and getting closer to the entrance. Unfortunately, there's not much variation in the scenery as we pass by seemingly never-ending rows of books. Adding to the problem is the fact that the map is marked with various dangers which we've decided to avoid, so we don't take the quickest route possible. Still, the journey so far has been fairly uneventful, and Thomas and I have been getting on pretty well. Since leaving the tribe, we've become much closer than I expected, to the extent that I'm starting to worry about what it'll be like when we have to say goodbye to one another at the entrance.

  Thomas, too, seems to be dreading the farewell. According to the map, we're probably less than a day from getting to our destination, which means that we won't be together for much longer. Consequently, both Thomas and I have started to create a little distance in our relationship. We don't hold hands any more as we walk, and we barely talk. It's as if we're getting ready for the end by starting to separate physically and emotionally from one another. I guess there's no point being close when we're just going to have to split up soon anyway.

  But there's an idea forming in the back of my mind; an idea that could help me persuade Thomas to leave the library and come with me. I'm sure the tribe would be fine without him, and I know that Thomas would be able to survive in the outside world, especially with me to help him. Plus, now that I've become separated from Duncan, I kind of feel like I still want to be around someone. I know that's crazy after I spent so long wanting to live purely as a wolf, and that is still my ultimate aim. Kind of. Sort of. Hell, I don't know any more. If I can persuade Thomas to leave the library and come with me, life could be very different.

  "You're quiet," he says as we walk.

  "So are you," I reply.

  "It's my nature to be quiet," he says, smiling. "But your nature is to talk, and you're not talking. It makes me think that something is wrong."

  I sigh. "I guess I'm just thinking about what happens when we get to the entrance. I'm going to have to say goodbye to you, and that's going to be really weird."

  "You have your world, and I have my world," he says. "It seems there is no way to overcome that problem."

  "But I've spent the past year in your world," I point out, "hanging out with you. Don't you think it's only fair if you come to my world for a year and get to know it a little? Maybe you'll like it? And if you don't, you can just come back."

  He shakes his head. "I have no need to see your world," he says. "I'm happy with my life in the library, and I feel that the tribe needs me."

  "They don't need you," I say.

  "They do!" he protests.

  "Bollocks," I say. "You make yourself feel better by pretending that they need you, when in fact they can get by perfectly well without you. If you just accept that they can manage, you can let go of this need to feel like you're in charge." I look up as rain starts to fall. "Shit," I say, realizing that the oncoming storm seems to have finally arrived.

  "There's no point talking about this," Thomas says a little humorlessly. "You have your view, and I have mine. I don't think we're going to come to any kind of compromise, so why don't we just try not to fight during our final hours together."

  "I guess," I say, though I still feel he's being unnecessarily stubborn. He could come to the outside world for a short while, and he could at least try to live there with me. But no, he's devoted to his life in the library and it seems I won't be able to change his mind.

  "We should settle somewhere for the night," he says as the rain gets heavier. "It's going to be a bad one; we need to make sure we're dry."

  We don't have a tent with us, so we have to find shelves with some space. Fortunately it doesn't take long and soon we're tucked in together, packed tight as the rain hammers down in the aisles and night begins to fall. It's strange, but despite my desperate desire to get out of the library, I feel a pang of nostalgia now that I realize this will be my last night amongst the shelves. As a bolt of lightning arcs across the sky and a rumble of thunder sounds in the distance, I try to imagine what the 'real' world will be like after all this time.

  "So are we going to waste our last night?" Thomas asks.

  I turn to him. Although the shelf is tall and deep, we're still crammed into a very tight space, with barely enough room to breathe. "What are you thinking about?" I ask him, even though I know what he wants. He wants us to make love one final time. Hell, it'd probably help us to keep warm.

  "First I want to make you promise something," he says. "If you get to the outside world, and if you find that it's not the right place for you any more, promise me you'll come back to the library. Keep hold of the map so you know you can always find the tribe."

  "I promise," I say, suddenly realizing how much he wants me to stay with him. If only I could, but it's impossible. I have to go. And although I'm saying all the right things, I know deep down in my heart that there's no way I'll ever come back to the library. The thought of living in such a confined space is impossible to entertain. "But you have to promise something as well," I say. I pull a piece of paper from my pocket. "You got a pencil or something?" He hands me a pencil and I write down my phone number. "If you change your mind, and you decide you're sick of living in a fucking library and you want to come out into the real world..." I put the paper in his hand. "Promise you'll call me."

  "I promise," he says.

  "And if -" I start to say, but then I turn and look out at the aisle. I swear I hear a noise, but now there's nothing. Still, it reminds me of when I was out here with Duncan, right before those huge Mites attacked us.

  "What's wrong?" Thomas asks.

  "Nothing," I say quickly, not wanting to panic him. But the truth is: I heard something. It was that sound again, like knives being sharpened. I turn to Thomas. "I'm not sure, but I might have heard something nearby. Like... one of those Mite things."

  "They move very quietly," Thomas replies. "If you heard something, perhaps it was just one of the ordinary citizens of the library. Besides, it's raining. How can you hear anything above the storm?"

  "Werewolf, remember?" I say, smiling. "Highly advanced senses."


  Out in the aisle, rain continues to pour down and there's still the occasional flash of lightning accompanied by rumbles of thunder.

  "Jess," Thomas says, sounding a little nervous. "I want to ask you something."

  I turn to him. "Shoot."

  He pauses. "My tribe..."

  "Our tribe," I correct him.

  He smiles. "Our tribe... has certain rituals that mean something to us. One of them is..." He pauses again. "In our culture, two people can become married if they simply agree to it. Privately, between themselves."

  "Oh," I say.

  Silence for a moment.

  "If you'd be willing to -"

  "Okay," I say, surprising myself. I mean, it feels like more of a symbolic act rather than any huge commitment, and it might be something nice to leave behind for Thomas.

  "Then it's done," he says.

  "Seriously?" I ask, a little shocked. I was expecting at least a couple more minutes to think it over.

  He nods, grinning. "According to the customs and rituals of our tribe, we're now husband and wife."

  I stare at him. "Wow," I say. "I mean... I'm your wife?"

  "You are," he says.

  I glance out at the storm. "And this is our wedding night, huh?"

  "Let's get some sleep," Thomas says, putting an arm around me. "Tomorrow's a big day."

  Surprisingly, despite the storm and despite my concerns, and despite my shock at having apparently just got married, we manage to get to sleep. It's not a particularly restful sleep, but it'll do. However, after a few hours I wake up and find that the storm is still raging; if anything, it's got worse. Thomas is still dozing next to me, but I feel wide awake, as if something nearby has set off my senses. I stare out into the aisle, and suddenly I see several large legs crawl past. It's one of the Mites, and it stops right next to our shelf.

  I hold my breath, determined not to do anything that might give the Mite a clue that we're here. I've no idea if it's already detected us, or if it just happens to be out in the rain, but the last thing I want to do is help it out in any way. Hopefully it'll just carry on past us, and -