Finding Us (Finding #2)

by Shealy James

  “What’s going on?” I whispered when he sat back down and pulled me back to my place on his chest.

  “We’ll talk later, Maggie.”

  I knew it was bad if he was calling me Maggie. He always had some kind of sweet name for me unless we were having a serious conversation. Suddenly it seemed like the movie would never end, but I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened on the screen after Parker left the room to answer his phone.

  I didn’t find out what was going on until later when we were in bed. When I came out of the bathroom after washing my makeup off and brushing my teeth, he was staring at the ceiling with his arms behind his head. He would have appeared completely relaxed if I didn’t know him as well as I did.

  I crawled up next to him and sat on my knees, so I could see him when we talked. “Time to talk, Parker. Whatever that phone call was, it upset you like I haven’t seen in a long time.”

  “It was Grady on the phone. He’s taking Alexis back to rehab tomorrow morning. She was in bad shape earlier today, I guess.”

  “What happened?”

  “He invited her over to his parent’s house for Thanksgiving this afternoon. She and Billy go with Grady every year since they don’t really have family. She refused to go. When he got home, she was so messed up he couldn’t wake her up.”

  “Oh my. Is she ok?” As much as I hated her, I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. I didn’t know much about drugs or her addiction, but not being able to wake her up had to be bad.

  He looked pained when he said his next words. “I guess. I don’t know. He called an ambulance. They had to pump her stomach, and I guess she isn’t awake yet. He’s going to talk her into going or kick her out of the band and his house.”

  “Poor Grady.”

  Parker scoffed. “Yeah.”

  “You ok? You want to go home and see her?”

  “Nah. No need. I’d just cause more harm than good.” I didn’t know what he meant by that, but I didn’t have time to ask. The news didn’t end there. “He said the record label asked the band to open for Last Chance on their tour. Apparently the band they have now isn’t working out, and they want Grady to cover for the next few stops.”

  “So now they can’t go?” I asked knowing how disappointed Grady, Billy, and Nick would be. Last Chance was a band growing in fame that had made their way onto the radio via You Tube. People filmed them playing in bars much like Grady’s band, but Last Chance hit it big with their videos. Even I knew who they were, and I only listened to classic rock for the most part.

  “Well…not exactly. He asked if I could replace her. He said they’re only going for two weeks, and it happens to fall right after we get out for semester break.”

  “Two weeks?”

  “Yeah. The band will break for Christmas, and by then they’ll have either signed Grady for a record deal and get him in the studio or send them on their way if the fans aren’t taking to them.”

  “You mean you.”

  “What?”

  “You mean if the fans are taking to you. You’ll be part of the band.”

  “Yeah. I guess.”

  I didn’t know what to think. This was too much information for me to process. We would finish our first semester of law school then what? Parker hops on a plane to God knows where for two weeks. In the back of my mind I knew I should be happy or supportive, but all I could think about was the time apart and the girls who would be throwing themselves at my very attractive and supremely talented boyfriend.

  After a momentary freak out, I asked, “What did you tell him?”

  He looked right in my eyes when he spoke. “I told him I had to talk to you. You’re the most important person in my life, and I don’t want to leave you for a minute, let alone two weeks.”

  “But?”

  “But this is a great opportunity for Grady, and he’s been my best friend for a long time.”

  “It’s also a really amazing chance to get to live out your dreams,” I added.

  “Yeah. How many people have gotten to open for a huge band in a House of Blues?”

  “No one I know,” I told him less enthusiastically than I would have liked.

  He frowned and pulled me down, so my head was resting in its place right over his heart. I could hear the rhythm clearly before the rumble of his voice interrupted the steady beat. “Babe, you know I’m not going anywhere unless you’re on board. We have school and can enjoy the break together. Maybe we can take a trip or whatever during those weeks. I don’t have to do this.”

  I let out a deep breath. He just had to go and say the one thing that made me feel like I had to push him to go. There was no way I would be that girl.

  “You should go,” I told him, and I actually meant it. Who was I to hold Parker back from his dreams? I knew he wanted this, and this opportunity wouldn’t knock twice.

  “We’ll see,” he said before ending the conversation by pulling me up to his lips for a kiss.

  Parker

  I didn’t sleep at all the night of Thanksgiving. Turkey supposedly has something in it that makes you tired, but it turned out that chemical can be counteracted by finding out a girl you have known for several years had almost overdosed and was asking for you when she woke up. Why she was asking for me, I couldn’t say. I hadn’t spoken to her in weeks, but I couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible for the overdose.

  On top of everything Grady’s career was about to take off. Now he needed me to say yes or he may lose his one chance to do what he loved for a real audience. No pressure, Parker. Yeah, right.

  I had dreaded telling Maggie all night, and she reacted like I expected: pretended to be happy because she thought that’s what a good girlfriend would do. It was unfair to leave the decision up to her, but I wanted her to be the one to make it because she would have to live with it too. I didn’t tell her I could potentially end up missing Christmas and not be here for the start of the next semester, but I didn’t want to overwhelm her. She didn’t need to know how much I thought about quitting law school to follow in my mother’s footsteps with music before this opportunity. Now it was like my mom was shining a light for me down a path that I hadn’t known existed until now.

  I lay there imagining what it would be like to be on tour with a band like Last Chance. They were new to the music scene as well, but they were selling out smaller venues left and right. Grady was a huge fan, and even dealing with Alexis in the hospital, he still sounded hopeful and excited about his future. I hadn’t felt excited about my future since I started playing with him earlier that summer. Sure, I had Maggie. We were going to get married, and that was undoubtedly something to be excited about, but I was going to be a lawyer if my life stayed on track. I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted or what I had convinced myself of doing once Mom had passed. I didn’t want to play music if Mom wasn’t around to hear it, so I found something else, something secondary.

  Decision day came quickly. Grady took Alexis to rehab, and she surprisingly complied. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and we were having lunch with Pops and Preston. Of course Preston was helping Maggie in the kitchen because he wanted to badger her about how his new girlfriend was acting, and he knew I cared less.

  Pops had been watching me since they arrived at the house, and I knew he knew something was up. I hadn’t told him about the tour, but it was all I could think about because Grady needed to call the record exec, Dallas, that night at the latest. I was the deciding factor.

  Pop’s pulled off his glasses and set down the paper after my millionth sigh of the day. “What’s going on, Park? You’ve been inside that head of yours all day. Law school getting to you?”

  “Nah Pops. It’s not school.”

  “Everything ok with Maggie? If it’s not, you need to apologize no matter what it is.” He laughed at his own joke.

  I shook my head. “Not Maggie. We’re great.”

  “Ok. Then you’re going to have to give me a hint, son.”

/>   “Grady asked me to go on tour with his band. He’s been asked to open for another band, a big band, and he wants me to go.”

  “And?”

  “And what? Him going depends on me saying yes. I have school and Maggie here. I can’t just up and leave for a few weeks to go on tour.”

  He leaned back in his chair preparing to unleash his fatherly wisdom on me. I was sure he was going to tell me I was right, that I couldn’t just leave my life here, but I wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted to hear.

  “Why not? Maggie will be here when you get back. Law school doesn’t go away. You know what you only get one shot at? A career in music. I know. Your mom gave up a lot so she could play. She said she could live without almost anything, but music was the one thing she couldn’t go a day without. I think you feel the same way. Always have. If you have a chance at making a career out of what you love, then who you love will understand, and to hell with law school. It’ll be here when your time is up.”

  “Seriously Pops?” I asked surprised.

  His lack of expression showed me he wasn’t kidding. “Seriously Parker. What did you think I’d say? I’m not a math professor because it was my back-up plan. I teach math because I love solving complex problems. I enjoy teaching young folks how to approach a problem and solve it with precision. I love my job. You should too.”

  “Yeah. I know, but…”

  “No buts. Talk to Maggie. She’ll understand.”

  I wasn’t sure about Maggie understanding, but everything else Pops said was right on. I texted Grady after talking to Pops and told him I was in. He replied with a slightly enthusiastic and wildly inappropriate response. I would have laughed had I not been dreading the conversation I had to face with Maggie that night.

  I knew the guilt would eat at me, and once I told Maggie, I would feel torn again. I thought by telling Grady, it would make me feel more certain of my decision no matter what Maggie threw at me.

  Call me a procrastinator, but I tried to hang out with Pops and Preston as long as I could that day. Maggie didn’t mind. She never minded hanging out with my family because it was a breath of fresh air compared to spending time with hers. She always told me that we felt normal. I don’t know how normal we were considering we were just trying to get by every day since my mom passed, but it felt normal to her. I loved seeing her happy, so I always made sure to play nice with Pops and Preston even though they drove me crazy most of the time. They’re family, you know. Families drive each other crazy in that “I love you but want to kill you sometimes” kind of way.

  Eventually my time was up. It was time to tell Maggie.

  Maggie

  The day Parker had to make a decision about the tour we spent with Dr. Pryce and Preston. I knew Parker was avoiding the decision. He was putting it off like I would be doing if I thought it was something that could hurt him.

  My head kept telling me that it was only two weeks, and I should encourage him to go. On the other hand my heart wouldn’t stop pounding thinking about what could happen in two weeks. Touring with a band would change his life. I didn’t need to be able to look in a crystal ball to see that. My heart felt certain of it. Our relationship being rocky for the last few months didn’t help build my confidence either.

  Silence screamed discomfort the moment we were alone after spending the day with Dr. Pryce and Preston. I knew it was time to talk, so did he, but neither of us wanted to start the conversation. We pranced around the house cleaning up clutter that wasn’t really in the way. I started a load of laundry. He started a load of dishes and took out the trash. Finally there was nothing else to be done. As usual I tried to seek comfort in my books, so I pulled out my laptop and law books to get some work done. We were both stubborn, but this time he knew I wouldn’t be the one to start the conversation. He was the one with the decision, not me, so when he finally spoke, I was surprised by what he said.

  “I already told Grady my decision,” he blurted out as if he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

  I stopped unpacking my books and looked up at him. He was gripping the kitchen chair opposite me with such intensity that his knuckles were white. “Oh?” I said. That’s really all that would come out. This whole time I thought he was thinking about what to do, but he wasn’t. He was trying to decide how to tell me. If he was avoiding telling me, then I already knew his decision. Parker wouldn’t have been worried about telling me he wasn’t going. He would have dreaded telling Grady that. That meant he was leaving me. Parker would be leaving me in just a few days.

  “Yeah. I sent him a message after talking to Pops.”

  “Hmm…” I went back to pulling out my books.

  “Maggie…”

  I didn’t respond. At this point I was focusing on everything but him just to keep my emotions in check. I didn’t want to be selfish. I wanted to be excited for him. I knew this was a great opportunity for him to go and live the dream, but like always, stupid Maggie Miller could only feel what her overly sensitive heart wanted her to feel. Fortunately I had years of practice keeping my emotions in check. Unfortunately Parker had always been the one who made me lose all control over them.

  “Maggie. Look at me.” He was standing next to me now, so close. When I didn’t stop messing with my books, he wrapped his hands around my upper arms and turned me towards him. I stared at his chest. He had a little spot on his shirt where he dropped a bite of barbecue at lunch. Preston had said something that made Parker glare at him. During the angry glare, Parker’s fork had remained suspended in the air long enough for the pork to drop off the end and land on his shirt leaving a small red spot. I touched it thinking it would stain if I didn’t get it in the wash soon; anything to distract me from what I knew was coming.

  “Babe,” he tried this time. I closed my eyes and willed the tears to stay in their ducts. I had never had a pet name until him. He called me “babe” or “baby” or “pretty girl” all the time. I knew some girls hated pet names, but it made me feel special. It made me feel like I was his.

  Finally he stopped trying to get me to look at him on my own and tilted my chin up instead. “Open your eyes and look at me,” he whispered. This time I did, and I saw every emotion I was trying to tame reflected back at me in his dark eyes. “You know I’m coming right back to you. Time will go by quickly, and you’ll be in my arms for Christmas.

  I knew he believed it, but something told me differently. I could feel it in my bones. Parker’s life was about to take off, and that meant everything I loved about being with Parker was about to change.

  Chapter 13

  Maggie

  Parker had been gone a week when I decided I would go home early. The house was spotless. I had read everything I was supposed to read before my first class in January and was out of things to do. I had worked out everyday and tried new recipes that I shared with Dr. Pryce and Preston, but I needed to find something else to do. I was turning into the pathetic girl who counted the hours until her boyfriend called and replayed his far more exciting day over the phone. I, on the other hand, had to make up things to say because I had absolutely nothing to contribute to our conversations. I wasn’t going to give up a moment of time with him though, so I kept him talking until the bus was too loud or he was falling asleep.

  Max was busy that whole week finishing up projects at work. Becca was too unfortunately. They were leaving to go to Becca’s parents’ house for the week leading up to Christmas for some extra wedding planning, which meant no time for lonely Maggie. Even Ivy had taken off right after exams. I was truly going to be alone in the city in a matter of days, so when Daddy suggested I come home early because he didn’t like me being in the house alone, I accepted.

  My mother was busy shopping, and I avoided her like the plague. There was no way I was subjecting myself to a day of shopping with her when I already was feeling so iffy about life. Even though I avoided her during the day, Daddy preferred dinner as a family at night, so I was forced to sit through at least one meal a day
with the woman who single-handedly made me feel like the ugliest girl in the world growing up. What was strange was how nice she was being though. It was like she realized how awful she was and was trying to make up for it. She even complimented me one night. Five years ago I would have thought that she was being the mother I had always wanted. Now I wondered what kind of tricks she had up her sleeve. After trying to get me away from my father so many times, I found it impossible to believe she suddenly had a change of heart or a change of medication either.

  It was the night before I was supposed to pick Parker up from the airport when he called me from the bus. When my phone sang the lyrics of his familiar Bon Jovi ringtone, “It’s My Life,” I rushed to it like my life depended on his calls. Sadly, it sort of did.

  “Hey!” I greeted.

  “Hey baby, how are you?” He sounded tired like he always did after a show, but living on a bus with four other guys didn’t allow for restful sleep.

  “I’m good. Have I told you lately that my mother is crazy? It’s official. She’s lost her mind.”

  “Oh yeah? What did she do now?”

  “She went shopping again today, but this time she brought me home a dress…in my size. She said she saw it and thought of me. It was actually cute, something I would actually wear by choice.”

  Parker laughed a little. “I think you may be wrong about her. It sounds like she’s really trying.”

  “Yeah. We’ll see. I still have another week here, but you’ll be here in two days to protect me when the dragon lady makes her appearance. How did the show go tonight?”

  Suddenly there was a lot of noise on Parker’s end. It sounded like he was in a bar instead of a small tour bus with the guys. I could hear giggling and not from one of the guys in the band.

  “Hang on, babe. The guys are having a little party. Let me move to the back.” I could hear the rustling of movement as he spoke, and then there was quiet. “The show was good. I know the fans are there for Last Chance, but they cheer like they are there for us as well.”