Animus

by Kindra Sowder

  “Well, shit,” I said as I stared at it, wanting nothing more than to scrub it away since it marred the cloak’s perfection.

  Victor saw it and shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Quinn. They know what kind of conditions we come from out there. They’ll have someone clean it and it’ll be as good as new.”

  I cringed, thinking of someone else washing my blood away from the garment when I felt it was actually my responsibility. I attempted not to think about it as Victor pulled me away from the rack and toward our bedchambers deep within the compound of the Sentinel. It was placed in the center of the massive city like a guardian watching over Archer’s State. Within mere moments we were standing in front of my door, Victor wanting to make sure I got to mine before he would then walk to his. He had started doing this after the first betrayal I had experienced as general, always by my side no matter what. I was thankful for that and I hoped he knew it.

  “Have a good evening, General,” he said as he turned to walk away.

  I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze. His eyes met mine then.

  “I want you to know how much I truly appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Who knows where I’d be now if it weren’t for your unflinching support.”

  His expression softened and tears sprang to his eyes, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

  “All in a day’s work, ma’am,” he replied with a mock salute.

  I tilted my head, understanding the joke but wanting him to know I was utterly sincere in my words.

  “Seriously, Victor. Thank you.”

  He chuckled, “Isn’t that what friends do?”

  I grinned at him then. “You’re right. It is what friends do.”

  “Then no need to thank me. I adore you and you know that. I’ve known you my entire life, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Now,” he straightened, “get in that room and rest as ordered by your friendly, neighborhood Reaper.” He leaned toward me slightly and winked. “Who seems to really like you, by the way.”

  A loud and short laugh passed from between my lips as I shoved his shoulder.

  “Caught off guard and like are two different things, Vic. No need to confuse them.”

  “We’ll see about that,” he said as he took a step backward. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  He waved and with that he was off, walking swiftly in the direction of his own bedchamber.

  I shook my head, laughing at his insistence that the Reaper Lucius seemed to be enamored with me after our encounter today. I highly doubted it, but there had been something there. That just wasn’t it. Not according to me, anyway. Regardless, he would fight by our side against the Royals of Paderborn. He had never been known to break his word, and I was certain he wouldn’t now.

  I placed my hand on a digital pad next to my door, a security measure that had been implemented long ago when security had become an issue among the Sentinel. Those who didn’t belong, especially our enemies, had begun breaking into the compound and killing those within the Sentinel’s ranks. The digital pads were placed after the third murder had taken place. This pad read our handprint and would only let us in if it matched those approved to enter that particular room. A green light passed over my palm beneath the gel-like surface, a cascade of clicks coming from inside of the door as my handprint was approved. Once the last lock slid out of its slot, I pushed the door open and entered my chambers, closing my eyes as I listened to the five locks inside of the metal slab slide back into the positions and counted them. After the betrayal this had become a habit, calming me every night knowing that I was safe and sound as long as those five clicks sounded.

  I opened my eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the comforting sight of where I lived within the compound’s walls. They were gray stone but the floor was covered in a lush, black carpet that was so soft you wouldn’t dare wear shoes farther into the room then what it took to enter the door. My bed was a large canopy bed, covered in the finest red silk sheets that money could buy. That the Sentinel could buy. Only the best for their soldiers as far as they were concerned. The furniture within was all solid, dark wood. I wouldn’t have it any other way. There was even an adjoining bathroom, just as large as the bedroom itself, which was massive on its own.

  Removing my muddy boots, I dropped them to the floor next to the door, and walked to my bathroom, dropping a piece of clothing every few inches along the way until all of my tattered and soot-covered clothing were gone from my body, leaving me stark nude in the dim light of the bathroom. I would normally stand in front of the full-length mirror and take stock of my injuries but I decided against it, knowing it wouldn’t be long until the doctor came calling. Before doing anything else, I walked deeper into the bathroom and started a bath, letting the water become scalding hot to ease my aches and pains as well as wash the filth away. Out of habit, I had left the window above the tub open. It opened up to the forest beyond where the Sentinel was housed, so I knew no one could see me. All except for my dragon. One massive eye lowered so she could peek through it, blinking to adjust to the light inside of the room. Her cat-like pupil grew larger and then shrunk, reflecting my startling image I had attempted not to see before now.

  How was your meeting with the Council?

  “Well, it went better than expected,” I replied as I stepped into the tub as it filled with water, lowering myself into the searing heat. “A lot better, at that.” The heat melted my pain away as I lowered into it, a sigh of relief leaving me.

  I am happy to hear that, General. Apep paused, hesitating. What was their reaction to Private Blizzard’s betrayal?

  I sighed in frustration, closing my eyes as the water finally reached my shoulders. I turned it off and leaned back again while attempting not to look Apep in the eye. I didn’t want to tell her that we would be going to war because I knew she hated to kill, only doing it if necessary. Unfortunately, in that clearing it had been in order to save us, and it would be again very soon.

  General, please, she practically begged.

  I opened my eyes and turned to look into hers that took up the entire window. It looked like liquid fire was running through them tonight, her worry and her anger at the betrayal obvious in the color. I turned away from her again and leaned my head back, choosing to stare at the ceiling instead of her glowing orb.

  “Would you rather have the truth or a lie, Apep?”

  Will I hate the truth?

  “Yes,” I replied bluntly.

  Are we going back to war with the Royals of Paderborn?

  “Yes,” I paused and licked my lips, “and with the Halflings as well. They felt that the capsules as well as the branded blade were enough evidence to prove they are working together and bringing our own to their side. So,” I turned to her and said, “we are going to war. I’m so sorry.”

  She huffed as her eye began to glisten, the toll of what I had just told her hitting her hard enough that I could feel the pang of agony in my chest. My poor dragon was a tortured soul with nothing left in this world that could fix her.

  “But something interesting did happen tonight.” I shifted in the tub and sunk deeper into the water until it was just below my chin. “The Reaper will be fighting alongside us.”

  Apep let out an amused puff of air from her nostrils, blinking again. We will see how that goes. Thank you for your honesty.

  Just below the pang of guilt, irritation and amusement barged into me, her emotions intermingling with my own. I was intrigued while she found the thought of the Reaper joining the fight against our enemies completely ludicrous.

  “Apep, please,” I began but was interrupted by a loud ringing sound that was coming from the security system on my door, alerting me that someone was calling upon me to open it. “Shit. I’m coming,” I called out to the person on the other side of the door.

  It was probably the doctor coming to see about the wound on my forehead as ordered by the Reaper Lucius himself.

  Better ge
t a move on, General.

  With those words, Apep raised her head from the window and took off in a hurry, flying into the distance to give me some space. Without even thinking, I ducked my head under the water, the heat stinging my wound so savagely I emerged from under the surface with a gasp, barely taking a moment to run some soap over me in every place that definitely needed it, strands of hair making it into the injury. I pulled them away from it as quickly as I could, sending a fresh wave of searing pain through my head as I attempted to make myself somewhat presentable. The water immediately around me was tinged pink, a mixture of blood and soap moving against my skin.

  In one move, I unplugged the bathtub and hopped out, grabbing the only thing close to me in the way of a thick cotton robe that was accented with red borders and vines all over it. Goosebumps raised over every inch of exposed flesh as I made my way as quickly as I could to the door, not even caring to look to see who it was through the peephole in the slab of metal. What greeted me wasn’t what I had expected. A doctor was waiting on the other side along with Lucius. Apparently, he didn’t believe the doctor was enough company for one night, and for a Reaper, he seemed to really like the company himself. I took a step back and bowed slightly at the waist in respect for the Council member.

  “Oh, Council member, I am pleased to see you,” I said as I came to stand erect, crossing my arms over my chest.

  I hadn’t cared before, but now I was sincerely hoping that neither one of them could see through the robe since it was soaking wet and plastered to my body.

  A knowing smile played over his gorgeous lips, pulling up at the corners in more of a smirk. His eyes scanned me in my entirety, an amused and intrigued look crossing over his features.

  “Well, hello, General Ragnarok,” he answered. “And please, call me Lucius.”

  “Quinn, please, call me Quinn.” The words came out too hurriedly, as if they had a mind of their own.

  The smile grew wider and his eyes sparkled. “Quinn.” My name sounded wonderful coming from his lips, slipping over my flesh like smooth satin. “I’m sure you know Doctor Hale.”

  I nodded at the squat man with large, round bifocals and stubby fingers. “That I do,” I took a step back and welcomed them inside. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

  They both entered without a second’s hesitation, Doctor Hale leading me to my bed and telling me to sit down. I did as requested and sat on the edge of the mattress at the bottom of the bed, placing my hands in my lap after pulling my wet hair away from my forehead so he could examine the wound. A small rivulet of blood flowed down my forehead and toward my eye.

  “Now, let’s take a look at you,” Doctor Hale exhaled as he turned toward me. “Oh my.” He turned and picked up a small stack of white, sterile gauze from a packet within his bag, placing it on my forehead. I winced with a hiss, the sting tearing through the wound and into my scalp with a lick of heat.

  “Yeah, that hasn’t stopped since we got back,” I explained as he leaned forward and gently pulled the gauze away from my flesh.

  “Ah, well, we will put a stop to that,” Doctor Hale promised as he removed the gauze completely and squinted past the lenses of his bifocals, inspecting the wound with a precise eye. “Looks like you need stitches, young lady. How many times have I stitched you up now?”

  He placed the gauze against my forehead again and I held it there so he could prepare the needle and thread to pull my skin together.

  “I stopped counting at six,” I replied.

  Unfortunately, even though the injury would heal, the betrayal would always be fresh and open to ooze all over everything good.

  Before my thoughts took me down too dark of a path, Doctor Hale pushed a clear glass bottle of brown liquid into my hands. Lucius stood behind him and grinned as he watched my shocked expression at the way the doctor was acting tonight. Was it because of the presence of a Council member? He was normally very sweet and took his time, making sure his patients got the highest quality of care possible and were comfortable. Tonight, he was rushed and quick, which was strange aside from the Reaper’s presence.

  “You know the drill.”

  Lucius’s eyebrows perked up and the smile pulled even harder at the corners of his mouth, his pale skin nearly white in the lights of my living quarters. I leered at him, which only made him more amused than he had been. Without taking my eyes off of him, I removed the cork from the bottle and took a long pull of the whiskey, the bitter, acrid taste of it coating my tongue and burning my throat on the way down. Warmth began to spread from within me quickly and I knew this was the special tincture Doctor Hale used from time to time. It was a mixture of the strong whiskey made in Archer’s State and a potion from the Council that would help to numb the nerves that caused pain. I recognized the sensation easily, seeing as I had been given the stuff on more than one occasion. As a member of the Sentinel, I had plenty of scars to prove my worth.

  “Now, let’s get you all stitched up, shall we? And then you can get some rest,” Doctor Hale said as he sanitized the needle and moved in toward me.

  I felt the distinct pressure of the needle entering my skin but no pain, even when I felt the thread moving through my broken flesh. This went on for all of ten minutes, and when Doctor Hale finally righted himself, he admired his handy work with hands on his rounded hips. He then reached into his bag and removed a pair of small, stainless steel scissors, cutting the thread and packing everything back up with a swiftness I had never seen the man move in. He then used the edges of the gauze he had used to staunch my bleeding to clean up the little bit of dried blood on my forehead.

  “Thank you, Doctor Hale,” Lucius said as the squat man made his way to the door. “I’m glad you were able to see her at this late hour.”

  “Me and the General go way back. When she was a child I had to stitch up that forehead. Not a problem at all.” Doctor Hale waved a fat hand over his shoulder in a nonchalant manner, knowing full well he’d be seeing me again. He turned to me and motioned toward the bottle still in my hands. “You can hold onto that. Your head may hurt until it heals so use it when you need to, but not if you have a sword in your hand. I don’t need to be treating you for any mortal wounds of any kind, my dear.”

  I saluted to him with the bottle, the liquid making a sloshing sound within the glass. “You have my word on it, Doctor.”

  He nodded and then moved back toward the door, it springing open as he touched the metal.

  “And get some rest. From just looking at you I can see you have a slight concussion, so no fighting or training tomorrow. You got that?”

  “Got it.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at him as he turned outside of the door and spoke quietly to Lucius, but I caught enough of the conversation to know that I wasn’t going to be alone all night like I had hoped. After Lucius answered, Doctor Hale turned on his heel and walked away without even a goodbye. Lucius closed the door, the locks sliding home, and turned to me with kindness in his eyes. Kindness and amusement as I took another swig of the whiskey, my head already beginning to hurt and I was certain it wasn’t because of my war wound.

  “Looks like you’ll have company tonight. The good doctor wants someone to wake you up every couple of hours just to be safe,” he explained, folding his hands in front of him. “I told him that I would be happy to do so.”

  I waved my hand and rushed, “No, no, I couldn’t let you do that. You are a Council member, not a babysitter. I can’t.”

  He took a few brazen steps in my direction, a look of determination in those obsidian eyes. It had taken me until that moment to realize that he wasn’t in the cloak that was custom for a Council member to be wearing. He was now in regular civilian clothing. Black t-shirt, black pants, and black boots, the outfit making his broad chest and hard muscles stand out in glaring clarity. My breath caught as his eyes bore into mine. He wasn’t going to budge, so he would be here overnight, and the thought made my mind and my heart race.

  “You’
re not letting me. If I have to, I’ll order you to allow it but I do not want to force you if I don’t have to. So, I’d prefer it if you would be all right with this so I don’t have to issue an official order. Plus,” he smirked, “who better to keep you from crossing over than death himself?”

  He said the last part with a laugh, which caused a lick of shock to run through me. He had to have seen it on my face because he laughed even harder.

  “Ummm, okay,” I choked out.

  “What is it with you soldier types? Always have to do everything by yourself.”

  “That’s not it, sir…”

  “Lucius,” he interrupted, rising to his feet to lean against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “Please, call me Lucius.”

  I swallowed hard before saying his name, “Lucius.”

  He closed his eyes upon hearing his name, his face growing calm and serene as his name passed my lips. And, when he opened them again, there was something just under the surface that I recognized. Something distinctly male and distinctly human. Desire flashed deep within the blackness. I became painfully aware of what I was wearing, making me uncomfortable as I stared at him. I looked down and realized just how wet my robe was, and even though nothing showed beneath it, I pulled it closer to my body and crossed my own arms while clearing my throat. I was wide awake now despite the alcohol and the elixir within it, my senses heightening.

  “I’m going to go change,” I croaked as I stood and moved toward the bathroom. “If you’ll please excuse me.”

  Before I had a moment to adsorb the grin on his face, I shut the door behind me and moved to the bathroom mirror without stopping. My breathing was too fast for my liking, my heart racing and pounding against my rib cage as I reacted to the man. No, he was not a man. He was death, pure and simple. Deep and dark. Or, at least, that was what we had all been led to believe about him. Well, not so much led. It was what we were told. We were told that he was darkness, a shadow that would pass over us and take the first chance to pull us into the afterlife, our souls never to resurface. Those eyes of his were supposed to be a reminder of that, but I found myself drawn to him strangely enough, and it hadn’t happened until he had exposed his face to me for the first time since I had joined the Sentinel of Hydra. Not until I saw his face, which was the epitome of male beauty even though he wasn’t human. Not even close. He was otherworldly -- a direct line into the Long Realm of the Channel. So was the Ubume and I hadn’t been drawn to her supernatural energy like that of Lucius. There had to be a reason for it.