Riding It Out

by Jennifer Foor

“Thanks for this. He gets bored easily. I hope he’s not a bother for you all tonight.”

  “We don’t mind it.”

  She smiled and looked up at me. “I’m sorry for being rude earlier. I saw you pass me by on the road. I’m in a bad way, and have this complex about men. It’s not you, so I apologize. I’m driving across the country in hopes of finding my ex-husband.” She started to cry. I watched as she checked to see if her son was paying attention to the show and not what she was saying. “I’m running out of time.” Tears fell down her cheeks, and I couldn’t help but watch as she fell apart. “I hired an investigator to track him down. We think he was last known to be here in Maryland. Honestly, I don’t know what would bring him here. He was a Marine, and after being in combat he lost it. He left town and nobody’s seen or heard from him since. The last time I saw him was about five years ago. He was the result.” She looked over at her son. “Anyway, I know you don’t want to hear about my last attempt at getting my son to meet his father before it’s too late.”

  “I’m sorry to hear about your troubles, ma’am.” I should have told her that I was also a Marine, and could relate to the troubles of PTSD, but something wouldn’t let me connect. I’d left that life behind for a lot of reasons.

  “I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready.” Since she hated men in general, I found it to be the perfect time to leave the room. In the back of my mind I had this fear that she was looking for me, but that wasn’t possible. It was my guilty conscience getting the best of me. Shawn Reed didn’t have a kid.

  It was still on my mind as I entered the kitchen. I got a funny look from my girlfriend right away. Since I had no clue what could be bothering her, I shook it off. I’d already been under enough scrutiny for the day. It was time to have a few more beers and relax. I was beginning to feel like I was in fear of being discovered for who I really was, and I couldn’t figure out why. I needed to de-stress somewhere, alone. Erica had other plans for me.

  She followed me outside to check on the temperature of the smoking meat. “What was that about?”

  I didn’t turn and look at her as I answered. “What?”

  “Do you know her?”

  This got my undivided attention. We’d had plenty of women stay at the B&B, but she’d never made such an assumption before. “Why would you ask that? She’s looking for her ex-husband. I’ve never seen her before in my life.”

  “Oh God. I sound like a jealous girlfriend don’t I?” She ran her hands over her face. “Sorry. I’m not myself today.”

  I made sure to pull her in my arms, giving her a tight hug to remind her of being the reason I was there. “Did we not just talk about love earlier today? Am I going to have to set a timer to remind you?”

  She giggled against my chest. “Maybe. At least until my mom leaves.”

  “Your mother and I have put it behind us. I suggest you do the same. It’s all going to be okay. Trust me. They’ll only be here for a couple days. Once they’re gone we’ll have the place to ourselves again. If they are our worst guests than we have nothing to worry about in the future. I told you we could handle this.”

  “You did. I know I should have trusted that, but after what they caught us doing it was hard to imagine it ever being easy to be in the same room as them.” I could tell she was still disturbed about it. I suppose it was harder for a woman. Men were more likely to be careless. Erica didn’t live her life that way. She wanted order, and peace. Since my life had never been anything close to peaceful, it was hard to change.

  “I really thought they’d have a problem with my age. I mean, I am pretty up there,” I teased.

  “Cradle robber!” She kissed me softly as she giggled against my lips.

  I made sure to pull her in closer by placing my hands on her ass. “Don’t make me bend you over again. You know I will.”

  She slapped my chest. “Don’t even joke about that! My mother would really have a heart attack. She thinks we’re nymphomaniacs.”

  “We are.” It wasn’t that far from the truth. Erica and I had sex a lot. We lived together and worked together. Since our attraction was electrifying we couldn’t help but to take advantage of it. “You’ve been teaching this old dog tricks since day one.”

  “You’re in your thirties, Reed. Stop making me feel like I’m with a grandfather.”

  “That’s just wrong, babe,” I chuckled. “Now, if you’ll let me get back to the meat, we’ll be able to eat soon.”

  She slapped me on the ass as she sauntered back inside of the house. Once she was gone I was able to take a deep breath and try to settle down. Why had that woman’s story about finding her husband gotten to me so much? I just needed this weekend to go by fast so I could get my shit back together and realize that my past was buried. There wouldn’t be anyone looking for me. I made sure that there were no loose ends. Shawn Reed had a new life, and I was going to make damn sure I didn’t fuck it up.

  Chapter 5

  “So you said your name was Missy?” Erica asked our guest at the table.

  “Yes, Melissa actually, but only my ex-husband called me that. I guess it’s fitting since I’ve traveled all this way to see him.”

  “You’re obviously out of touch. Does he know you’re coming?” Tabitha inquired.

  She shook her head. “No. He’s been off the grid for a long time. I hired an investigator who found out he’d started some kind of corporation under the business name. Once we began digging into that, we were able to track his last spending to this town. Where he is, I have no idea. For the life of me I can’t imagine why he’d end up here, but it doesn’t matter. I’m running out of time, but I can’t explain that at the moment.” She looked over at her son who was shoveling in mashed potatoes. “It’s just important that I find him soon.” She looked right at me when she said it, and that’s when I knew. That’s when it hit me. Hearing her saying her name was like a kick to the balls. While doing my best to pretend I was paying attention to their conversation, I looked over at the woman sitting down the table from me. Fifteen years was a long time since I’d last seen a picture of Dingo’s wife, Melissa. The once brunette with a pixie cut now had long locks of blonde. She had wrinkles around her eyes, and it was obvious that she’d been through a lot. Even though I wasn’t one-hundred percent, I knew in my gut that it was her. She’d come to look for him, and out of all the times that this could be happening, it was when Erica had her mother visiting.

  While remaining as calm as can be expected, my mind wandered to my best friend and the endeavors we’d experienced, especially with the ladies.

  I started worrying what would happen if my secret was revealed. Would Erica hear me out, or make sure we were through immediately? Would I lose everything I’d worked so hard to have? Would my second chance at a good life come with such dire consequences?

  I couldn’t lose her. I wasn’t even willing to consider it. She was the one for me. I knew it deep down inside.

  I’d been with my share of women. Being in the military, overseas, left a man feeling alone, and desperate. There were several drunken nights where I fucked girls without asking their names. If they were willing then so was I. Had it not been for my best friend, I probably would have died of a sexually transmitted disease.

  When I joined the armed forces it wasn’t because I wanted to be a soldier. My mom had done her best, but there was no hope for me being able to afford college, and I sure as shit couldn’t get my ass up out of bed to get a job. My dad had been out of the picture at the time, only to return to my mom’s life after I’d gone. She basically kicked me out the day following my high school graduation, comparing me to being just like my sperm donor, good for nothing, father. With nothing but the clothes on my back, I walked past a recruitment building and the rest is history.

  That’s where I met my best friend, who everyone called Dingo. The next month we left for basic, and were tied at the hip from that moment on. When we received our orders to go overseas Dingo was reluctant. He was a ye
ar older than me, and had run off to marry his high-school sweetheart the week before. I felt bad for him having to leave his new wife, and gave him the best support I could in those first months away. It was in that time where my saint of a friend realized that he had to let her go. A year after they were wed they divorced.

  I’ll never forget the first time we got leave and were able to go home to see family. He’d headed right to his ex’s and they spent the next two weeks in bed, so he claimed. I half expected them to elope for a second time, but it never happened. In fact, he visited her up until she married another man, someone they’d both grown up with. She ended up leaving the state of Texas, and they eventually lost touch.

  For nearly twenty years I had the privilege of knowing that man while we served our country, and even after. Not only had he gotten me out of a lot of tight situations, he’d saved my life more times than I could count. We’d shared the experiences of watching people tortured, losing their lives, and ourselves. Unfortunately, Dingo turned his depression into drinking, and he did it well. That man could throw back some alcohol, while I spent my last pennies on gambling. When we both decided to finally get out of the military I was up to my chin in bad debt. Sharks were after me for monies owed, and without Dingo I’d probably be a victim of murder.

  The last time I’d seen him he’d come to bail me out of a vicious situation in Vegas. I’d won a truck off of a crack-head at the poker table one night. It wasn’t uncommon for heavy gamblers to bet the last of their belongings. I’d been in that situation many of times. Despite knowing the odds, I turned around and bet it against the house, losing my ass. Unbeknownst to me, the truck didn’t exactly belong to the crack-head, but his police-chief father-in-law. Once the revelation had been made there was nothing I could do to prevent what came next. After being beaten to my last breath, I was given two days to come up with the twenty-five grand I owed.

  Dingo came to my rescue. He paid off the bookie and convinced me to leave town. For the next two months we lived in a motel while I got the help I needed to quit my addiction. Dingo could work from anywhere. He’d taken almost everything he’d made and invested it. I don’t know exactly what kind of funds he was involved with, but he’d managed to make a ton of money. With no family to go home to, we decided to get on our motorcycles and drive across the country, where I could get a new start at life.

  What happened next changed everything, and now I was about to come face to face with the truth I’d worked so hard to run away from.

  Chapter 6

  After I finished eating, I excused myself from the table. While standing in the kitchen waiting for the woman to say the name of her ex-husband, I began thinking of ways I’d try to convince Erica that everything we had wasn’t a lie.

  I was falling short of ideas, especially since they’d all be based on more lies. How many more could I tell before my stories began to get mixed up in the process?

  Much to my surprise Melissa didn’t divulge any more information about her situation. Instead the room got quiet and slowly I watched Erica and her family make their way from the dining room into the kitchen. With a smile on her face, Erica began to load the dishwasher while giving me a quirky look. All I wanted to do was take her upstairs and hold her in my arms, because I feared at any minute our relationship could be in trouble. It was important to be able to savor every moment, as if it were our last. Unfortunately I couldn’t do it with her family visiting. Instead I’d have to sit back and worry until this woman and her kid checked out.

  Unlike a regular hotel, we were in direct contact with our guests. We ate meals together, and lived on the premises. If there was an issue we were hands on immediately.

  I leaned against the counter watching Erica and her sister finish cleaning up. “Where’d that woman and her kid go?”

  “Up to bed. She said thanks for dinner and that she was exhausted. I gave her a list of the cartoon channels for her son. I guess we won’t see them until breakfast.”

  That was music to my ears. I’d have at least one more night of my perfect life.

  The girls and I played cards until ten, in which their mother had to retreat to her room to watch her favorite police crime series on television. Erica explained that she always watched it in bed because she fell asleep halfway through.

  With two of the nosiest people out of my hair, I began to relax a little.

  After hanging out with the two sisters for a while, I decided to give them some alone time. Once I’d told my girlfriend that I was headed up to bed, I made sure the house was secure before climbing the stairs.

  When I reached the landing to the second floor I was met with Melissa. She was wearing a pair of pajamas and covered her arms over her chest when I looked in her direction. “Everything alright?” I asked, hoping she didn’t need me to do anything. I could feel her eyes staring into mine, and probably knew exactly what was about to happen, even though I was still in denial.

  “I never got your name.”

  What was I supposed to say? I cleared my voice hoping I could make up something without her referring to me with it in the morning, in front of the other women.

  “It’s Reed.”

  “No it isn’t.”

  I clenched my jaw and repeated my answer. “My name is Reed, ma’am.”

  “That’s not true. Shawn Reed was my husband. You’re Dominic aren’t you? You look different than you used to, but I’m sure that’s your name. You’re Shawn’s best friend from the Marines. You’re the guy he always talked about.”

  I closed my eyes and looked down, unable to even grasp what the mention of that name did to me. I hadn’t been called Dominic since my best friend took his last breath. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  I began to walk away, hoping she’d leave me alone, but felt her pulling at my arm. “Please. My cancer is in the late stages. I left the hospital against my doctor’s orders, because it’s impertinent that I locate my son’s father. I’m running out of time. Just tell me where he is. Tell me where I can find my ex-husband.”

  I fought with myself over what to say to her. “I haven’t seen your ex-husband in about a year.” That was the truth.

  “I have pictures he sent me of the two of you. Even though it’s been a good ten years since they were taken, I was sure it was you. Dominic, you’ve got to help me find Shawn. I can’t let my son become a warden of the state. I get that the war changed him. I know he’s struggled with PTSD, but I also know he has the means to raise our son; to give him a good life. They need each other. Without my meds it’s possible that I won’t make it another week.” She stopped talking when her coughing became out of control again. I could hear her gasping for air.

  She was beginning to get emotional, and honestly I hurt for the woman. I loved Shawn, more than I loved myself.

  She couldn’t understand how he’d saved me so many times, physically and emotionally, and how, in the end, he’d given me a chance at a new life.

  “I know he was here with you. The paper trail led me here. Please, I didn’t come to cause trouble for you. It’s obvious that you’ve finally straightened out yourself. Your girlfriend is lovely. Just tell me what I need and I’ll be on my way. Give me a phone number. I need something.”

  I ran my hands through my hair, praying to God that Erica’s mother wasn’t still awake on the other side of the bedroom door listening. “If I had one I’d give it to you. Shawn bailed me out of some trouble back in Vegas. He helped me finance a company using his credentials, so that I could start over. We were supposed to do it all together. One day he was with me and then he was gone. Never once did he mention having a kid. I’m real sorry you came all this way, but Shawn’s never been here at this B&B. I came here alone and met Erica. She’s the only reason I settled down and stayed. She doesn’t know about the man I used to be.”

  “I never told him about our son. He was too messed up when he came to see me when we conceived. I was in the middle of a horrible divorce with my seco
nd husband. I was vulnerable, and Shawn had a way of making everything better. We spent a weekend together and I’ve never seen him since.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Why did you say your name was Reed?”

  I looked down, almost ashamed to answer. “I wanted a new life, Melissa. When I met Erica I gave her a name of someone I’d always admired. Shawn was my idol. He’s my hero.”

  She shook her head. It was obvious she didn’t approve, or maybe even understand. If she discovered the full truth my life would be over. I’d be in jail, writing Erica letters and begging for forgiveness.

  “I don’t understand. How can you live with yourself?”

  “You didn’t live my life, Melissa. People were after me. Here they know me as Reed. Dominic doesn’t exist.”

  “You’re living a lie. It’s terrible.” She scrunched up her face angrily. “Come morning I’m out of here. I’ll leave my number in case you run into Shawn. If he refuses to call make sure you let him know that his son will become a property of the state once I’m gone. For the record, I think the way you live is bullshit. If you can’t be yourself then you’re no one at all. I’m sure your girlfriend doesn’t appreciate being lied to.”

  I stood there for a minute after she’d closed the bedroom door. A part of me wanted to go inside and tell her everything. Living with such a lie had devastating consequences. She was right about me being no one. I wasn’t Shawn Reed, and thinking I could live as him was going to end badly.

  I thought I’d covered my tracks, switching our identification at the scene of the accident. We were both looking pretty gruff at the time, and from the way the burns had affected his body they wouldn’t question the identity.

  It had all happened so fast. We were riding our motorcycles side by side. It was after midnight, but we hadn’t been out drinking. After taking a break at a motel to get some sleep, we were both refreshed and energized. We’d set out to ride until we were numb. Unfortunately we didn’t make further than ten miles. A tractor trailer took a turn too sharp, sending the rig into a jackknife position. It came at us so fast. Shawn, who was on the inside of the lane, didn’t have time to see it coming. I however, was able to skid underneath, missing the contact of the vehicle altogether. Injured with a fucked up leg from the weight of the motorcycle pushing against it, I managed to lift only my head up. I tried to drag myself across the hard pavement, but was pinned.