Say You Will
Page 12
When she opened her eyes again, he held her gaze as he said, "Well you own me. I am yours. So all the rest doesn't matter."
Chapter Eleven
MARA CLOSED HER eyes, soaking up the warmth of Trent's love. Shivers of sensation radiated from her cheeks where he was caressing her face all the way down to her toes. She'd always felt like she could tell him anything. Her greatest fears and insecurities seemed like obstacles to conquer instead of mountains when he was with her.
"You own me, too. I wouldn't be here otherwise."
At her words, his eyes shuttered, like he was pleased by her words. His lashes lowered as he leaned forward. Their lips met and clung, his taste lingering even when he pulled back to kiss the tip of her nose.
"What's really bothering you, baby?"
Mara looked behind her at the massive pile of packages on the bed. Shopping with someone like Sophia made her realize just how empty the activity could be. Growing up, shopping had been something that she and her mother had done together when they needed a way to reconnect. After she'd decided she didn't want to compete in any more beauty pageants, it had been harder and harder to find common ground with her mom. Looking through the sale racks and finding the perfect thing to complement an outfit had been a low-pressure activity that they could do without arguing. At the end, they'd both be more relaxed and go home with something pretty.
Mara looked at all the clothes and shoes and handbags spread across the room. It looked like a spread from Vogue. Truthfully she'd never owned so much in her life but it brought her no joy. She didn't look at all the pretty things and attach them to happy memories. And despite her closet being filled to the brim, she had a feeling it would still seem empty.
"This whole day was about changing me. Every time Sophia would look over at me, it was like she was seeing all my flaws and trying to find a way to make me more acceptable. Like I'm not good enough as I am."
One of Trent's hands skimmed up her back and tangled in her hair. Her mouth fell open as her heart beat faster. God, she loved it when he held her like this. One hand in her hair and the other on her hip, like he was never going to let her go. Like he was completely and utterly enthralled with her.
"All those clothes can go back where they came from as far as I'm concerned. You know how you look best?" He rasped the question in her ear, the husky timbre of his voice sending chills down her spine. "Ask me," he ordered.
Mara shivered, completely turned on by the power and authority in his voice. He was no longer her easygoing, laid-back Trent. His other side, the autocratic self-assured business scion was back and slowly kissing his way down the side of her throat.
"How do I look best?" she managed to get out between gulps of air.
Trent pushed her hair out of the way, clearing the path for his tongue to find the curve of her collarbone. "You look best in nothing at all. So you can take all that stuff back to the fucking store if you want."
He spun her around so she was facing the bed. Her head fell back on his shoulder.
"And you see all those shoes? Every time you wear a pair of those sexy-as-hell stilettos I want you to remember that as soon as you get home they're going to be on my shoulders."
"Oh god," she panted as the imagery his words evoked triggered a deep throb in her belly. The arrogant statement made her clench her thighs together, desperate to stop the ache in her core that made her feel suddenly, desperately empty.
He must have sensed the movement because he moved, his thigh forcing her legs open. It was ten times as intense this way, when she couldn't close her legs. She could feel how wet she was and when his hand pushed firmly, inexorably down the front of her jeans, she knew that Trent would feel it, too.
"And do you see this ring I bought you?" He held up her left hand, the diamond on her third finger sparkling in the light. "I went back and forth for weeks about it. I knew it would cause talk to buy you a diamond this big but I wanted you to have the best. But it doesn't even matter. Because no diamond can shine the way you do. You don't need jewels or any adornment at all. I'm almost blinded every time I look at your perfect naked skin." His voice was gruff, almost angry.
When he curled his hand, his fingers sliding through the slick lips of her sex, Mara couldn't hold back a scream. He turned her head and his lips covered hers roughly, swallowing the sound. She’d never thought of herself as the helpless type but in that moment, she was completely dependent on him. If he'd moved or let go, she'd drop to the floor in a quivering puddle of need.
There was nothing to do but allow herself to be swept along as he ravaged her mouth, nipping and biting as she rode his hand. Her entire being was focused on the movement of his finger circling her clit, rubbing slow circles that were driving her closer and closer to losing her mind.
"Now that I have you here, I won't allow anything to hurt you. Do you understand? I exist to protect you. And you exist to make my life worth living."
She opened her eyes, completely caught up in the intensity of the words he'd whispered in her ear and the physical storm caused by his clever fingers. Trent's eyes were fixed on her, his face twisted into a mask of obsession and desire. Then his eyes narrowed and he twisted his fingers, hitting a spot inside that ignited a firestorm deep within.
"Trent!" His name was all she could manage as the world shifted and splintered as she came apart.
"That's it," he growled in her ear. "I'd pay any price just to see you like this, coming apart in my arms."
She whimpered, biting her lip so hard she drew blood, as her muscles contracted around his fingers. Shards of white-hot pleasure radiated through her as the orgasm washed over her. Her fingers tightened on his arm and her head fell forward, her hair falling into her face as she shuddered through the final tremors of her release.
All she could do was cling to him for dear life as he lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist. He came down over her on the bed, burying his face between her breasts. Every inch of her skin tingled from the explosive orgasm that was barely out of her system. When he nuzzled her breasts through the cotton of her tank top, she knew that she would probably be screaming again shortly. But things had been completely one-sided so far. She pushed back and then tugged at his shirt.
"I want to touch you, too."
His eyes crinkled at the corners. “I’m definitely down for that." His shirt disappeared and his hands immediately went to work on his belt buckle.
Mara pulled the straps of her top down, exposing the lacy cups of her bra. Trent's gaze stopped there and his hands at his belt moved faster.
"You are so beautiful. It doesn't even seem possible that you're mine."
His words emboldened her to strip out of her top completely and then she pushed her jeans down her legs with a sexy little shimmy. She turned, giving him what she knew was a first class view of her ass in the thong panties she wore and crawled up the bed. Before she reached the headboard, Trent was there. He draped himself over her back and twisted his hands in her hair to hold her still.
"Stay just like that," he whispered with a soft kiss to her shoulder.
Mara pressed back, arching her back and sticking her bottom higher. His tortured groan made her smile. Then she gasped as he yanked at the sides of her thong, ripping clean through the delicate fabric.
"It's a good thing I wasn't attached to those," she got out just as one of Trent's fingers slid deep, before pulling out and spreading her moisture around her clit. Still sensitive, she shivered under the erotic assault.
"I'm supposed to be touching you. Making you feel good." Even as she said the words, her fingers tightened in the bed sheets. His tongue trailed over her back, tracing down the line of her spine. It took all her self-control to hold still and not squirm under his touch.
"This makes me feel good. Hearing you scream makes me feel good. The only thing I want you to do is come for me. That’s all I want."
Everything he said to her and his harsh, dominant demeanor was making her hotter than she'd e
ver been. When he gently helped her turn over, his every touch reverent, there were no doubts left about his feelings for her. It made Mara feel completely taken over and completely cherished when he focused on her pleasure so totally. Like all he needed in the world was to satisfy her.
His mouth traveled over the lace of her bra, the contrast between the warm, wet cavern of his mouth and the chill in the air making her gasp aloud. He tugged gently on the straps, drawing them down her arms. Frustrated, Mara reached behind her and unsnapped it, shrugging it hurriedly down her arms.
"Touch me. Please." She tried to reach for him but he held her still, his arms and fingers entwined with hers, pressing her down. Mara sucked in a shaky breath as his head descended, his lips playing over the dent of her navel. She squirmed, her nerves already sensitized and ready for what she knew was coming.
The first wet rasp of his tongue had her coming off the bed. "It's too much. I'm so close," she whispered.
"You're so hot. So ready for me." He pushed his slacks down and his cock bobbed out, hard and ready. He moved back so he could strip out of the rest of his clothes.
Then he was over her, thrusting deep and her core contracted, her muscles clenching down on him hard. They both cried out at the exquisite feeling. Trent held still, pressing his forehead against hers. Mara clamped a desperate hand on his ass. She'd been on the pill for years and they'd long ago ditched condoms, and she'd never been so happy about it. It was an entirely different sensation to have him without anything between them.
He pulled out, teasing her by rocking against her mound.
"You have to move. You have to take me," she pleaded. Her need had risen so high that she was willing to beg, if it would get her what she wanted. To be filled. To be consumed by him.
Her whispered words seemed to push him into a frenzy. He positioned himself against her damp opening again and she moaned as his cock dragged against the sensitive tissue. Her hips lifted of their own accord.
Then he thrust deep, sending her soaring.
"Trent, please." Her cries and passion-fueled pleas filled the room as he filled her completely. Her orgasm ripped through her, turning her inside out as he pumped through the contractions of her tight inner muscles, forcing himself deeper.
His mouth opened over hers and she gave herself up to his desperate kiss. She wrapped her legs around him, trying to hold him tighter, press him deeper every time he withdrew. There was nothing like being one with Trent. He'd touched her in ways that no one else had ever managed. As mind-blowing as the physical sensations were it was the emotional connection that took their lovemaking to another level.
"Fuck, Mara. You're so tight. So perfect. So mine." He whispered the words against her neck, tasting her as he thrust furiously in and out of her body. Over and over, until Mara thought she'd die from pleasure. Until she came again, her skin going tight and hot before it exploded into a cascade of tingles all over her body.
Trent groaned too, pushing through her tight muscles one final time before holding himself deep inside, his muscles trembling from exertion as he found his own release.
They lay together for a long time, Trent's head pillowed on her breast. Mara didn't have the energy to move. Finally Trent rolled, tucking her against his side in a protective gesture that brought a small smile to her face.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, just thinking."
His arm tightened against her side. "Tell me. I want to know the things you worry about. I can't give you the perfect world you deserve if I don't know what's bothering you."
She snuggled closer. "I don't know. It's just that there are times when I feel like I can talk to you about anything. But then, other times I feel this wall. Like if I look around the wrong corner, I'll see something that ruins everything."
Trent propped himself up on one arm and stared down at her. "Ask me anything you want."
Mara considered it, watching the play of emotions across his face. All she wanted was to know him. More than anything. But it seemed that as soon as she peeled back one layer, infinite more were revealed. But perhaps that was just part of the process. Peeling back the layers until she finally knew all there was to know about him. If that was true, then all she could do to hasten the process was keep digging.
"I can ask you anything?" She watched his face carefully, searching for signs that he really didn't want to talk. But he just regarded her with the same calm, patient expression so she decided to peel back another layer.
"Who was Tia?"
* * * * *
“TIA PILAR DELGADO was never supposed to be my girlfriend."
Mara shifted against his side, settling her head right over his chest. In that moment, in the warm cocoon that surrounded them, he knew it was finally time to tell her about his past.
"She actually had a crush on my brother, James," he continued.
Mara lifted her head. "If she was interested in your brother, then why …" Her tousled hair fell over her shoulders in wild disarray. The makeup she'd worn earlier had rubbed off so her face was almost bare. It was difficult to think of a time when she was more beautiful than when she was like this. Naked and open to him.
And all his.
"Tia was a year below me. James had already turned eighteen by then and her parents were very strict. If they had known that their fifteen-year-old daughter was chasing after an eighteen-year-old senior, they would have freaked out. So she used to tell her parents that she was hanging out with me and Avery."
Mara didn't move but in the silence, Trent could almost hear the thoughts spinning through her mind. It had all happened so long ago but sometimes, especially being back in New York, he would see or hear something that brought it all back. Suddenly it was like he was sixteen again, awash with the wonder and discovery of first love and the pain and heartache of first rejection.
"Anyway, she was always at our house and eventually told her parents that we were dating. They weren't happy about it but at least she was spending time with a family they respected. Not that my parents were home to provide supervision." He laughed softly. "My parents never cared what we were doing and they were in Europe half the time anyway. We ran completely wild that year."
He stopped, trying to fight the hold of the past. Just talking about it made it all real again, sucking him back into the same twisted emotions he'd experienced the first time.
"Then what happened?" Mara asked.
"We fell in love," he whispered.
Suddenly the room was too hot, the air too close and the bed sheets tangled around his legs too confining. He had to get up. When he moved to sit up, Mara leaned back and dragged the sheet up to cover her naked chest.
"You don't have to talk about it." Her eyes were soft, understanding. "I'm honored that you've shared this much. I know this is painful for you."
And just like that, the darkness around his heart lifted. No matter how hard or how painful it was to relive the past, he could do it for her. Because he had her love tethered around him to keep him on solid ground.
"No, it's okay. I want to tell you."
She smiled at him, the sweet smile that had always made him feel like he'd found home. It gave him the impetus he needed to think back to what had happened next without fear. The past couldn't hurt him now.
"After spending so much time together, we'd talked about everything. She knew about my troubles with my father and how much I wanted to break away from this life. I was determined to move away after school and do something, anything on my own. She felt the same way. Her parents were very religious and had their own ideas about what her future would look like. She didn't want to follow a preapproved plan. Tia wanted to follow her heart and her passion, which was painting. But that wasn't something her parents would have supported. We used to talk about running away together."
"Did you?"
"No. We never got that chance. By this time, I was a senior and we'd been hanging out so long that most people had long accepted us as a couple be
fore we actually were. But we hadn't done anything more than kiss. She wanted to wait. And I wanted her to be happy. But then suddenly, the day after prom, she decided that she wanted me to be her first."
When he stopped talking, Mara scooted across the sheets until she was sitting right behind him. She wrapped her legs around him and rested her head against his shoulder.
"Did you kill her, Trent? Is that the secret? Was it some kind of accident?"
Shocked, he turned slightly. Their eyes met and he was stunned anew at the steady, resolute love in her eyes. There wasn't an ounce of recrimination or fear on her face. Nothing she could have done would have driven home her point more than that. In that moment, he learned the true meaning of unconditional love. Because he knew without a doubt that even if he said yes, that she would love him anyway.
"You are truly the best thing that ever happened to me," he stated before pressing his forehead against hers. They stayed like that for a few moments, then he tugged her closer for a kiss.
"No, I didn't kill her. She committed suicide. Right after we made love for the first time."
Her legs tightened around him. "I am so sorry."
Now that he was telling the story, the words wouldn't stop coming. The emotion that had been corked for so long had finally found release. He couldn't stop until he'd laid it all bare.
"She broke out into tears after we slept together and told me that she'd never loved me. I was just a shadow of the man she truly loved. And then after we argued, she went upstairs to her bathroom and slit her wrists."
He had to stop in earnest then. Images of that awful day came flooding back. All the blood. He'd left the house and walked around to cool off. He'd been so angry. It hurt now to remember that his last moments with her hadn't been happy ones. When he'd come upstairs and found her in the tub, he'd tried everything to slow the blood loss and he'd been covered in it by the time the paramedics arrived. Even after washing for hours, he could still see the evidence of her heartache all over his hands.