Return to Celio

by Sasha Cain

  We walked for the next few hours relatively peacefully. I noticed the ground becoming hillier and a little bit greener with grass. Darrios asked me to tell him about my family.

  “My parents died when I was nine. My brother Brendan was six. My grandmother, my Aunt Gin’s mother, took us in, but she wasn’t exactly the warm, baking cookies, granny-type. A better description would be cool and aloof, maybe even resentful at times.”

  “Was your own mother like that?

  “Not as much, but yeah, some. Honestly? With my grandmother as a mother, I don’t know how Aunt Gin turned out to be so loving and affectionate, but she was the one who tucked us in at night and read us bedtime stories. She kissed our scraped knees, attended the school plays and sports events. She doled out hugs when we were sad and helped us with our homework. She was more of a mother than an aunt.”

  “That’s nice that she was there for you.”

  “Grandmother died when I was nineteen. Brendan graduated high school a year later and went off to college the following fall. Aunt Gin sold grandmother’s house to pay his tuition. She rented us a little place about fifteen minutes out of town.”

  Maggie stopped and placed her hand on her hip. “He graduated almost nine months earlier than he planned, but he took classes every summer so he could.”

  “Wow, that’s quite an accomplishment.”

  “That’s just how he is. Everybody loves him, he’s a great guy. He has sort of this boyish charm, not to mention that he’s funny and he loves to help people. He’s always getting involved in some cause. Even when he was a kid, he’d rake leaves or have lemonade stands for charity. He drove my aunt crazy, always bringing home some stray or injured animal. He’s going into social work, naturally.”

  “He sounds like a really special guy. I can tell you love him a lot.”

  “I do. Even when we were kids, we shared everything from Halloween candy to deep dark secrets.”

  “What does Brendan think of Gregg?”

  My smiley thoughts faded. “He’s not a fan.”

  “Really? Why not?” Darrios asked a bit smugly.

  I definitely picked up sarcasm. Glaring at him, I walked past him. He caught up in two strides. I blew out an exasperated breath. “He thinks Gregg is a self-absorbed bore. He thinks he’s narcissistic and controlling, and he definitely wasn’t pleased when Gregg and I moved away. Happy now?”

  “A little,” Darrios admitted. “So, what attracted you to Gregg, anyway?”

  I shrugged thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I guess...I was younger, and a little naive. He was older. He’d just turned thirty. He seemed so sophisticated. Then once we got together, he started giving me tips on how to improve myself...”

  Darrios stopped and looked at me again. “Was there something wrong with the way you were?”

  “No...I mean...I don’t think so. He was only trying to be helpful and encouraging—”

  “Why can’t you see what he does to you? Being encouraging would be supporting you when you want to do something. It seems like he was trying to, I don’t know, fix you, to turn you into what he wanted you to be and then brainwash you into thinking he was the good guy. Tell me, Maggie, does he ever make you feel good about yourself? You know, compliment you? Say nice things? Or is it always a self-help session?”

  Holy shit. He was right. Why had I never seen that before? That little revelation was not doing wonders for my self-esteem. Darrios just looked at me thoughtfully for a minute and then he said, “Maggie, you are a beautiful woman and you’re just fine the way you are.”

  I wasn’t ready to hear that and I desperately wanted to change the subject, so I asked Darrios about his family. He shrugged.

  “It was just my mom and me. She was usually too drunk or too busy with one of her boyfriends to worry about me. Hell, I’d be surprised if she even noticed I was gone. I think the moltergs are more motherly than she was.”

  Darrios smiled, his dark outburst seeming to have passed. He motioned up ahead. The trees and shrubbery were thickening and more varieties emerged as we walked. The greener landscape gave the place a much friendlier feel.

  “Once we get through this brush and up past that darker green patch, we can stop and eat something. I brought some...well, it’s kind of like a sweetbread. I promise, Maggie, we’ll eat better once we reach Inland.”

  I nodded and smiled back. Seeming anxious to break the silence and talk again...about anything...Darrios asked me, “How did you and Gregg actually meet?”

  “He was a friend of one of my friend’s older brothers. He saw me at my friend’s house one day and I guess was attracted to me. He asked her brother to introduce us. My friend wasn’t crazy about Gregg and she thought he was too old for me, but eventually she got over it. That was only a year and a half ago, but it seems like a lot longer, maybe because we’ve been so miserable lately.”

  “You sounded a whole lot happier talking about your brother and your aunt.”

  I sighed. “There was a time when I thought we might be able to work it out. I tried to talk to him, to actually have a conversation about our problems.”

  “How did that turn out?”

  “It didn’t. He refused to discuss it. He said our problems stem from my insecurities and him settling into his new job. He thinks they’re insignificant.”

  Darrios pursed his lips and shook his head.

  “What now?” I asked.

  “Every time I ask you something about you, you tell me what Gregg thinks. What do you think? Do you ever get to have a say in any decision?”

  I started to react defensively, but then I stopped. I suddenly realized Darrios was right. “I guess I got so used to him making decisions and I got tired of arguing. I quit contributing an opinion, but that’s my own fault, not his.”

  “You’re right, it is. So why do you wanna stay with this guy?”

  “I don’t, especially now. I am done being so needy.”

  Darrios laughed out loud. “Ah, Maggie, I realize I’ve only known you a little while, but you seem anything but needy!”

  “Looking back? I was. I gave up a lot for a man who turned out to be...well, definitely not what I thought he was.”

  “I think he wanted you to believe you couldn’t make it without him...because maybe he couldn’t make it without you...”

  “I don’t think so,” I snorted, “Gregg’s very...self-sufficient. I seriously doubt if he’s ever needed anybody. And if he did, he’d never admit it. But it is a nice thought.”

  “Don’t you think he’s worried about you?”

  “I’m sure he’s wondering where I am, but not because he’s concerned for my welfare. More like because I’m inconveniencing him. I’m sure, right now, he’s going over all the rational explanations for my disappearance that have nothing to do with him.”

  Darrios shook his head and then gave me that intense look again. “If I was him and you went missing, I wouldn’t give a damn about rational explanations. I’d be going crazy trying to find you!”

  His words sent little shocks firing off across the top of my head. I cleared my throat. “It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not like he has any chance of finding me here,” I said quietly.

  ****

  We found a spot under a small tree with just enough shade for the two of us. We ate quickly and without talking. Darrios began glancing around again, making me nervous.

  “Why do you keep looking around like that? Like you’re expecting something to jump out at us?” I asked him.

  “I just don’t like being a sitting duck. I feel better when we’re moving,” he answered.

  I stood up. “Let’s go, then.”

  He got to his feet and put what was left of our meal in his pack. We both drank from the flask then continued on our journey. He assured me we were getting close.

  I could tell as I looked down at the rocky, sandy terrain. I found myself pleased to discover an increased number of trees. They were bigger than the ones we’d seen so far. Patchy
little rugs of grass grew randomly about, but thickened as we moved forward. The air smelled, I don’t know, cleaner.

  I yelped in alarm as I watched what looked like a three-foot-long caterpillar drop from a tree and scurry after Darrios. Turning, he started to draw his knife until he saw the creature. He shoved the knife back in its case, placing his hands on his hips, smiling with relief. He reached into his pack, pulling out a piece of our lunch leftovers and tossing it to the animal.

  Its fuzzy purple body had yellow spots with no hair and springy antennae sprouted out the top of its head. It made me think of Alice in Wonderland. I stood staring as Darrios fed it while making clucking noises.

  “This is a ralapet, Maggie. He won’t hurt you. They’re just perpetually hungry is all. Do you want to feed him?”

  “No, that’s okay, you’re doing fine. It looks like a giant caterpillar.”

  “They’re very soft and cuddly. Go ahead, pet him.”

  “I don’t know...”

  “Watch.” He crouched down. The ralapet wormed its way over to Darrios.

  “Does it have feet?” I asked.

  “Yeah, about a hundred. You can’t see them because they’re covered in purple fur.” He stroked the ralapet with the back of his hand like you would a cat. “There you go, fella.”

  As Darrios continued to pet the ralapet, it began making a soft purring-cooing sound. Laughing a little, I moved closer.

  “Go on,” Darrios urged.

  I reached out, gingerly touching the softest thing I’d ever felt. Softer and fluffier than any animal, stuffed or real, that I’d ever encountered. I raked my fingers through the ralapet’s hair, smiling.

  “It’s wonderful. I’ve never felt anything this soft,” I marveled. It blinked its eyes at me and I swear it smiled back.

  “I know. It’s soothing, almost hypnotic. Once you start petting, you don’t want to stop.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Sorry, Maggie, but we need to get moving. We don’t want your scent lingering in one place for too long.”

  Reluctantly, I stood up and waved at the strange little ralapet. Darrios pitched the rest of the leftovers far off into the bushes. I watched as it scampered in after it.

  “What did you do that for?” I asked, puzzled.

  “Remember, I told you they’re perpetually hungry?”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “I meant it literally. We have to get out of here before he finishes that. That was the last of the food, but he’ll want more.”

  “What happens when there is no more?”

  “He’d follow us, whining non-stop, and as cute as his happy noise is, the whining is ear-splitting agony. Trust me when I tell you it isn’t something you want to experience.”

  “I’ll take your word for it. You know it’s funny, Darrios. When we were in the Outer Rim and even when we got to Midland, when you told me about the scabras and viocomen, all I imagined here was death and monsters. I didn’t even think about harmless creatures like Rufus and the ralapet.”

  “Don’t be fooled, Maggie. Until we get to Inland, we are in danger. There’s far more to fear out here than there is to pet and play with.”

  I nodded solemnly. We continued our journey, my eyes darting around checking my surroundings. I checked Darrios’ body language frequently, watching for him to tense up or move more quietly. He trudged along casually so I began to lighten up.

  Just when I started to relax a little, I heard what sounded like a whip from behind me. Like before, Darrios whirled around, grabbing me. He pushed me behind him before I even had time to look.

  I peeked around him to see the strangest creature we’d encountered yet. It stood at least a foot taller than Darrios, but it was extremely thin. It didn’t have so much as a hint of hair anywhere I could see and its smooth, shiny head was much too large for its body.

  Its beady, black eyes truly emanated a sense of evil. Sharp, dagger-like teeth and tiny, pointy ears gave it the demeanor of an overgrown, depraved elf. It curled up its lip in a hideous smile, emitting a piercing, high-pitched wail so shrill it caused me to wince.

  It reached out toward Darrios, using its rail-thin arm in a quick, sweeping gesture with what looked more like a callused claw than a hand. I gasped, realizing this must be one of the viocomen.

  Darrios studied it carefully, not making any sudden moves, never breaking eye-contact. It looked away from him just for a second...sizing me up. It licked its lips with its scaly tongue. I shuddered.

  It was in that second that I saw Darrios draw his knife and drive it into the chest of the viocomen. I turned my head away, but I knew the sounds I heard were the sounds of flesh being ripped open, organs being torn apart, and finally, the death scream of the viocomen. I also knew those sounds would stay with me for a long, long time.

  I didn’t look back again until I heard the thing hit the ground. Darrios wiped his knife off as he’d done before and put it back in its sheath. He came over to me, taking my chin in his hand. He turned my head up toward him, drawing my eyes to his.

  “Are you with me? Maggie, listen to me. You’re safe now.”

  I lifted my hand, staring blankly at my trembling fingers. I could feel the tears trying to well up in my eyes. Squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as I could, I took a deep breath.

  Darrios took a step closer. He put his arms around me and held me, surprising me with the gesture. My eyes popped open and I gasped.

  “It’s all right, Maggie. It’s gone. I told you I wouldn’t let anything hurt you. I’ll keep you safe. I promise,” he said soothingly.

  Surprising myself, I returned his embrace, just hanging on. It felt so good to be comforted right then. Darrios seemed very open and genuine.

  “This is a nice change,” I heard myself say...out loud.

  “What’s that?” Darrios asked.

  I stiffened. “Nothing...I just meant...it’s nice of you to be so pleasant...and so tolerant of me,” I lied.

  He looked at me, puzzled, but released me and began walking again. What was wrong with me?

  So Gregg was a thoughtless, lying prick. So he was guarded with his feelings and unaffectionate. That did not give me the right to compare him to a man I hardly knew. I mentally told myself to get a grip. We walked in silence until I couldn't tolerate the quiet anymore.

  “So, I told you about my love life and let you point out all its shortcomings. What about you?” I asked.

  “What about me?”

  “Your love life?”

  “Don't have one. Never did.”

  “Oh, come on. It's not like you're a virgin.”

  “I didn't say that. I said I didn't have a love life.”

  “And you said you never did. That implies...”

  “I've had sex plenty of times, Maggie. I've just never been in love. Big difference.”

  “Oh.”

  “There's nothing wrong with having sex just because you want to have sex. It's healthy. It feels good.” Pulling me right up against him, he whispered huskily, “Haven't you ever just fucked someone for fun?”

  I sucked in a breath of air. “I...uh...I...no, I haven't. I couldn't.”

  He released me, laughing. He’d done that on purpose, just to throw me off balance.

  “You should try it sometime. It might loosen you up some, help you get over that tight-assed boyfriend and live a little.”

  I would have thrown a rock at him if I could've found one.

  “You were just messing with me,” I said, intending to sound indignant and not so shrill and girly. Damn him! Darrios chuckled again.

  “I'm sorry, Maggie, but I couldn't help it. The look on your face? It was priceless.”

  “You just surprised me a little, that's all.”

  Still smirking, he asked, “Was it the word ‘fuck’ or the fact that I used it as a verb?”

  Feeling flustered again, but determined not to show it, I boldly stretched the truth a little.

  “I’ve heard the word fuck before
...as a verb. I've even used it myself. I just wasn't expecting you to say it.”

  I heard how lame that sounded as soon as it came out of my mouth.

  He stepped toward me again. “Wow, now that is something I would love to have heard. Tell me what you said.”

  “What?”

  “Go ahead. How did you phrase it? Were you telling someone to get fucked or were you asking—”

  “Can we please just change the subject?” I shrieked.

  He chuckled again. God, he was infuriating. I knew he was trying to get under my skin, and damn him, it was working.

  Getting into my personal space and using that smoky, seductive voice like that rattled me far more than I was comfortable with.

  “I'm sorry, Maggie. I shouldn't have made fun of you. It's just you just don't seem the type of woman who uses that kind of language...especially in bed.”

  I stopped, placing my hands on my hips, glaring at him.

  “What's that supposed to mean?” I asked, not bothering to remove the snip from my voice.

  “It was a compliment. I just meant you seem more refined than that. You're a lady, not a whore.”

  “So, if a woman talks dirty in bed, you think that makes her a whore?”

  “No, I didn't say that. I was generalizing.”

  He came into my personal space again, giving me an entirely too sexy smile. “If you’d like to scream ‘fuck me’ in bed, I'd be delighted to listen, and I am certain you are anything but a whore.”

  “I...I...”

  Unfortunately, I had no comeback. That scene popped up in my head and words failed me. My face flushed. I looked away. Darrios snickered and started walking again.

  “Guess I'll have to wait and see for myself,” he muttered.

  I gasped at his arrogance, but told myself not to say anything. How dare he assume I would sleep with him? I did not want to argue nor have my words twisted, so I bit my tongue. I kept silent until I heard Darrios say under his breath, “Okay, Burgess...be there buddy.”

  “Who’s Burgess?” I asked.

  “He’s sort of the gatekeeper. He’s the one who lets us in and keeps the monsters out. Bernie introduced us. Burgess is another one who fell in. Bernie saved him too. He showed him around, helped him get settled, and even got him this job.”