by Lacey London
I let out a silent cheer and smile gratefully at my husband, relieved that we finally seem to be getting somewhere.
‘Would you want to go back to Texas?’ He presses, leaning back in his seat and studying Janie closely. ‘You still have the money from the house sale to get yourself a place, don’t you?’
I pinch my leg to stop myself from saying that if I know Janie like I think I do, she probably drank the proceeds from her house sale a long time ago.
Janie opens her mouth to speak before deciding that she needs some Dutch courage first. ‘Can I have a refill?’
Janie flinches as Pumpkin brushes past her legs and motions to the bottle of wine on the table. Smiling at Oliver as he fills her glass to the top, she takes a massive gulp and places it back down gingerly.
‘What if… what if I didn’t want to go back to America?’
A gasp escapes my lips and I suddenly feel frozen to my seat. No! There’s absolutely no chance in hell that she is going to worm her way into staying here permanently.
Oliver runs his fingers through his hair and yawns. ‘Then I would need to speak to my lawyer.’
Janie twirls a strand of parched blonde hair around her finger and leans towards him. ‘What do you mean?’
Panic starts running through my veins as the realisation of Janie staying in the UK hits me. This cannot be happening! Is having a monster-in-law that won’t leave deemed an acceptable reason for a divorce? I should never have let her stay here, not even for one night.
‘Well, there’s the visa situation to start with. Right now you’re here under a tourist visa, so I would need to look into the legalities of getting you a permanent one.’
Feeling the need to put an end to this conversation before it gets out of hand, I take a gulp of wine and rap my knuckles on the table.
‘Is it even possible for Janie to get a permanent visa at her age?’ Janie shoots me daggers and I hold my hands up to protest my innocence. ‘That was a genuine question, I’m not making a dig.’
Oliver raises his eyebrows as he runs his fingers up and down his glass. ‘I’m not sure what the regulations are, but if my mom genuinely wants to stay in the UK, then I will find a way to make it work.’
Janie reaches over the table to give Oliver’s arm a squeeze and I fidget in my seat uncomfortably. Not wanting to drift away from the subject in question, I clear my throat and try to get this back on track.
‘Let’s for argument’s sake say that we can get you a visa, where do you see yourself living?’
‘With you guys.’ Janie grins and fills her glass with yet more wine.
Crossing his arms, Oliver pauses with an unreadable expression etched on his face. ‘As much as I have enjoyed these past six months, I feel that you would really benefit from living alone for a little while, do you know what I’m saying?’
Janie gives him a look that says she most definitely does not know what he is saying.
‘For the majority of your life you have had someone to lean on. You were married to my dad for forty years. Have you ever been alone with your own company?’ Not bothering to wait for her response, Oliver continues talking. ‘I think it would be good for you to develop some independence.’
There is a God. Not wanting to speak for fear of bursting the bubble, I sit on my hands and watch the drama unfold. Janie looks down at her knees and shrugs her shoulders, clearly not sold on the idea of being given the boot. Deciding to back Oliver up, I take the bottle of wine and pour the remnants into Janie’s once again empty glass.
‘I think you would enjoy your own place, Janie. Just picture it, you wouldn’t have me going on at you all the time about being tidy. You could bring people back and not have to worry about it. Oh, and you won’t have Pumpkin hairs on all of your clothes, because we both know how much you hate that.’
Pumpkin lets out a huff and takes her fluffy butt over to the rug in the living room. I swear that dog understands everything we say.
‘I think you’re right.’ Janie breathes quietly. ‘Independence is something that I could do with before I end up a crinkly old lady…’
I resist the urge to tell her that she’s already a crinkly old lady and nod along in agreement. ‘Exactly! You’re going to love living on your own, Janie. I just know it.’
She looks at me for a moment too long before sliding off her seat. ‘That’s settled then. I’m going to stay in London and live alone.’
I offer her a bright smile and breathe a sigh of relief. She’s going! She’s actually going! Not quite as far as Texas, but still, she’s vacating my spare room and that’s good enough for me. I can’t believe that I held off having this conversation for so long. It just goes to show that if you can communicate with one another, you can resolve almost anything.
‘I think I’m going to call it a night.’ Janie mumbles, fiddling with her shorts. ‘I’ll see you guys in the morning.’
With a tiny smile, she turns on her heels and slowly walks over to her room, closing the door silently behind her. I am about to throw back the last of my wine when I realise that Janie has left hers on the table. In all the years I have known her, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her leave a drink, not even a single drop. This is the woman who puts bourbon in her coffee of a morning for crying out loud. I glance at Oliver and notice that he’s staring at the glass too.
‘I am so glad that we have finally dealt with this.’ I reach over and plant a kiss on his cheek. ‘I feel so much better, thank you.’
Oliver raises his eyebrows and lets out a sarcastic scoff. ‘Well, I’m glad that someone feels good about this.’
For some inexplicable reason, the mood seems to have become quite sombre and I can’t quite pinpoint when exactly things turned sour. Pushing himself to his feet, Oliver wanders over to the sink and looks out of the window. The room falls into an eerie silence and I suddenly feel a little uneasy.
‘Is everything OK?’ I ask, not really wanting to hear his answer. ‘You seem a little… off.’
‘I’m fine. Everything’s fine.’ Oliver scratches his beard and refuses to look at me, indicating that things are far from fine.
‘OK…’ I mumble, trying to work out where this conversation went so terribly wrong. ‘It’s just that…’
‘Just drop it, Clara.’ He turns to face me and throws his arms in the air. ‘You got what you wanted. She’s leaving, so can you just drop it, please?’
I stare at my husband in shock, really not liking his tone of voice. This was just as much his decision as it was mine! Why is he suddenly acting like this was all my doing?
‘I’m going to bed.’ He announces suddenly. ‘It’s been a long day.’
I nod in response and play with a strand of my hair, not wanting to say another word in case I anger him further. Hiding my face behind my hair, I watch him disappear into the bedroom. Obviously sensing the bad atmosphere, Pumpkin rolls over and follows him inside. Looking around the empty room, I don’t really know what to do with myself. I should be on cloud nine. I should be literally swinging from the chandelier, but something doesn’t feel quite right. Oliver’s words ring in my ears as I take my glass and pour the remaining wine down the sink. You got what you wanted. I have got what I wanted, so why does it feel so wrong?
A rose can never be a sunflower and a sunflower can never be a rose…
Chapter 11
Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I apply a quick layer of mascara and try to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that something isn’t quite right. The bad atmosphere from last night continued right through until this morning and now that Oliver has left for work, I am feeling more alone than ever. Today was probably the first time in the history of our relationship that Oliver hasn’t woken me with a kiss before he left for work. That might seem like an insignificant thing to you, but I can’t shake the annoying voice in the back of my mind that tells me it’s a sign of something much more.
With a final slick of lipstick, I flick off the lig
ht on my dresser and grab my handbag. Happily finishing up his breakfast, Noah takes a piece of toast and slips it under the table to a waiting Pumpkin who gobbles it up greedily.
‘Noah.’ I say sternly. ‘What have I told you about feeding Pumpkin from the table?’
Widening his eyes, he shoves the last piece of bread into his mouth and shrugs his shoulders. ‘That it’s OK because dogs need breakfast too?’
I swallow a laugh and shake my head. ‘Noah…’
‘Fine, I won’t feed the dog anymore.’ He holds up his hands to protest his innocence and jumps off the couch.
‘That’s a good boy.’ I take the empty plate and motion for him to put his shoes on. ‘Come on now, we are going to be late.’
Dumping the plate in the dishwasher, I glance at Janie’s room and debate offering her a morning coffee. As happy as I am that she will be moving out in the not so distant future, I really don’t want her to leave on a bad note. Knocking gently at the door, I press my ear against the frame and listen for any signs of life.
‘What are you doing?’ Noah asks, jumping in front of me with his backpack and coat on. ‘Dad says it’s rude to eavesdrop.’
My cheeks flush pink and I bite my lip in a bid to stop them from colouring up. ‘I wasn’t eavesdropping.’
Noah narrows his eyes suspiciously and folds his arms, in a pose reminiscent of his father. ‘Then what were you doing?’
‘Nothing!’ I mutter, suddenly becoming quite flustered. ‘Let’s go.’
Ushering him towards the door, I take one final look at Janie’s room before taking Noah by the hand and heading for the stairs.
‘Alright, mister.’ I hold his backpack and fix my face into what I hope is a serious expression. ‘Today we are going to have a race and it’s a race that you want to win, because the prize is frankly incredible.’
‘It is?’ He asks, looking up at me eagerly.
‘It is.’ I confirm. ‘But you only find out what it is when you win. So, are you ready to run?’
He adjusts his backpack and places a trainer clad foot on the first step. ‘I’m ready.’
Letting out a sharp whistle, I deliberately hang back as Noah sets off like a firework. When I proposed this race, I didn’t actually have a prize in mind, I just wanted to cheer him up as I have a funny feeling that he can sense the atmosphere in the apartment too. My legs start to burn as I take off after him and I suddenly question my decision to run a mini marathon before I’ve had my morning bagel. Pausing for breath, I hold on to the railing and smile as I realise that despite his little legs, he’s almost at the top. Finally reaching the last flight, I let out a fake groan as Noah squeals happily.
‘I won!’ He shouts, far too loudly considering that it’s so early in the morning. ‘I won! I won! I won!’
Panting like an OAP, I raise my hand for a high five as I hit the last step. ‘You did! Well done!’
‘What’s my prize?’ He squeals, jumping up and down on the spot. ‘You said I couldn’t know what it was until we got to the top.’
‘Oh…’ I rack my brains for a make-believe prize as we make our way over to Gina’s apartment. ‘Well, your prize for winning the race is one wish.’
‘A wish?’ His eyes glint excitedly as he stops in his tracks. ‘A real wish?’
I nod in response and wait for him to start walking again.
‘Can I make it now?’ He whispers, looking around as though he wants to keep this a secret.
‘You can, but make sure you really think about it, because you only get one.’
Noah stares at me for a moment, looking deep in thought. ‘I wish that Gee-Gee didn’t have to leave.’
My jaw drops open and I take a step towards him, thinking that I’ve misheard. ‘You wish that Gee-Gee didn’t have to leave?’ I repeat nervously, hoping that he corrects me.
Noah nods and fumbles with his sleeve. ‘I heard you and Dad telling Gee-Gee that she had to go and I don’t want her to go.’ His little eyes momentarily fill with sadness and I feel a pang of guilt.
‘Noah, you shouldn’t have been listening to that. That was a grown-up conversation. You don’t need to worry about things like that.’ I crouch down to his level and try to look positive. ‘Remember what you just said to me about eavesdropping…’
He twiddles his thumbs and frowns. ‘Sometimes you don’t mean to eavesdrop. Sometimes people just talk too loudly.’
A lump forms in the back of my throat and I try my hardest to swallow it. What have I done? In my haste to evict Janie from our apartment, I’ve managed to fall out with my husband and upset my beautiful little boy. Yes, I’ve got what I wanted, but at what cost?
‘What’s going on out here?’ Gina’s familiar voice pierces my thought bubble and I plaster a smile on my face.
‘We were just having a race.’ I let out a laugh and take Noah by the hand. ‘You won, didn’t you, Noah?’
‘I did!’ He exclaims, running towards Gina who gives him another high five.
‘Wow! Well done! Why don’t you go and tell Madison, MJ and Melrose?’ She beams brightly at him as he squeezes past her and dashes into the house.
I am about to ask Gina how her day is going when Noah stops in his tracks and pops his head around the door fame.
‘Mummy, I still get my wish, right?’
My stomach flips as he looks at me closely. ‘Of course, now go and play.’
Watching him disappear inside, I try to ignore the intense nausea that is running through my veins.
‘What wish?’ Gina whispers, fluffing up her hair so that her huge hoop earrings jangle loudly.
‘Oh, it was just a game.’ I laugh nervously and change the subject. ‘Anyway how are you doing? I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages.’
Gina frowns and leans against the door frame. ‘Yeah, because Friday was such a long time ago…’
I hit myself on the head playfully and force out a giggle. ‘I meant Marc! I haven’t seen Marc for ages.’
‘I guess it has been a while.’ She nods along and runs a finger over her pink engagement ring. ‘Leave it with me, I’ll sort something out.’
Flashing her the thumbs up sign, I haul my handbag up onto my shoulder and head back down the lobby.
‘Oh, wait a minute.’ Gina hollers after me. ‘We’ll all be together when Lianna arrives, won’t we?’
I stop in my tracks and spin around. ‘Yeah, but that’s not for another week.’
Gina frowns and rests a hand on her hip. ‘You didn’t get the email?’
‘No…’ I’m actually ashamed to admit that I haven’t even looked at my emails since yesterday morning, which for someone who checks their emails every few hours is a cardinal sin.
‘Well, you’ll be pleased to know that Lianna has changed her flights.’ Gina frowns as Melrose runs up to the door with what looks like Nutella spread across her cheeks. ‘They arrive in two days.’
‘Two days!’ A smile springs to my face and I feel my spirits instantly rise. ‘That’s fantastic! Do you know why they changed their dates?’
‘I don’t. The message was pretty blunt to be honest, but it can only be a good thing, right?’
‘Right.’ I agree, glancing down at my watch and realising I’m now very late for work. ‘Well, I better get going. Have fun with the kids!’
I give Gina a small smile and start to make way back to the stairs. With the after effects of the Janie situation weighing heavily on my shoulders, I am probably only ten percent as excited about Lianna coming as I was last week.
‘Clara?’ Gina shouts, just as I reach the end of the hallway. ‘Are you OK?’
Her green eyes burn into me, concern etched on her face. For a second I want to crumble. I want to tell her that I am most definitely not OK, that my husband hates me and that Noah is going to hate me when he realises I’m the one making his grandmother homeless. Fixing my face into yet another strained smile, I simply nod in response.
‘I’m fine.’
If
only that was the truth…
* * *
Despite knowing that I’m already late for work, I somehow manage to make myself even later. Intentionally walking at a snail’s pace, it takes me twice as long as usual to reach the florist. Regardless of how hard I tried to push it to the back of my mind, Noah’s words have been buzzing in my ears since I left the apartment block. I wish that Gee-Gee didn’t have to leave. My heart breaks every time I picture his little eyes filled with such hope. What kind of little boy wishes more than everything else in the world that his mother wouldn’t make his grandmother leave? Not for a push bike, not for a new football, but for his darling Gee-Gee not to be given her marching orders. A sad little boy, that’s who.
I spot an elderly couple across the street and feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. Each one holding the hand of a tiny blonde girl, they count to three before swinging her in the air. I watch them burst into a fit of giggles as they pause for pictures before heading into a toy shop. Why can’t Janie be like that? Why can’t she just be a normal grandparent? Why does she have to dress like an aging porn star and act like one too? The most heart breaking thing of all, is that Noah loves Janie despite all of those things. He doesn’t care what she wears, how untidy she is or how vulgar she can be. To him she is just Gee-Gee. Plain and simple.
So consumed with my own thoughts, it takes me a minute to realise that Dawn is stood outside Floral Fizz and another few moments to recognise that the shutters are still down.
‘What’s going on?’ I ask uncertainly, coming to a stop besides her. ‘Where’s Eve?’
‘I don’t know.’ Dawn chews on the tip of her nail and scans the crowd of people for Eve’s blonde bob. ‘I must have called her a hundred times already, but there’s no answer.’
Suddenly feeling a little uneasy, I look down at my watch and frown. In all the years I’ve known her, I don’t think I can recall a single time where Eve has been late for anything. I dig my phone out of my pocket to try ringing her for myself when a familiar silver fox catches my eye. Fishing around in my handbag, I hand Dawn a set of keys and motion to the shop.
