by Lacey London
‘You open up. I’m just going to… see to something.’ Flashing her a grin, I tap her on the back and squeeze my way through the sea of buzzing people.
Call me crazy, but I swear I just saw Owen hovering around outside the jewellery store. With Owen being the typical workaholic business type, he wouldn’t be out of the office at this time if his life depended on it. As I get closer, my jaw drops as I realise that the man smiling manically outside Tiffany’s actually is Eve’s hubby.
‘Owen?’ I tap him on the shoulder and smile as he spins around to face me. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Clara!’ His handsome face lights up as he scoops me into a huge bear hug. ‘Just the person I wanted to see!’
Taken aback by his sudden show of affection, I squeeze him back and wonder what’s going on.
‘How are you?’ He asks, finally putting me back down. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘I’m good.’ I tuck my hair behind my ears and give him a quizzical look. ‘And you?’
His eyes crinkle with happiness as he beams down at me. ‘I’m brilliant. Everything is brilliant, thanks to you.’
I open my mouth to ask him what on earth he’s talking about when Eve pushes her way out of the jewellery shop and throws her lithe arms around my neck. Struggling to breathe, I manage to escape her vice like grip and take a step back.
‘What’s going on?’ I gasp, standing to the side to allow a stream of suits to pass. ‘You know it’s almost 9.30am, don’t you?’
Eve giggles manically and shakes her head. ‘Oh, don’t worry about the florist! Come with me. I have something for you.’
Not knowing what else to do, I allow her to take me by the hand and lead me through the crowd. Coming to a stop at a remote coffee shop, Owen holds open the door and ushers the pair of us inside. He points to a secluded booth at the back of the café and strides confidently over to the counter. Feeling a little bewildered, I slide into the booth and rest my elbows on the table. My heart races as I wait for Owen to return with our drinks. Fortunately, I don’t have much time to obsess over it, as thirty seconds later he reappears along with three steaming mugs.
‘Thank you.’ I slide one towards me and drop in a lump of sugar. ‘This is… nice of you guys, but what’s the occasion?’
Owen and Eve exchange bewildered glances before fixing their gaze on me.
‘You, silly!’ Eve exclaims, banging her hands down on the table. ‘You’re going to change our lives, Clara…’
‘She’s totally right.’ Owen nods along and reaches out for my hand. ‘You’re our angel.’
My heart leaps into my mouth as I stare back at the two pairs of eyes that are looking at me with such awe. Oh, no! They think I’m giving them my eggs! After all the Janie drama, I haven’t had the time to even think about Eve’s request. My mind flits to my conversation with Oliver and I feel a thud in my stomach. Could you really watch Eve bring up a child that was biologically yours? I look at Eve and picture her with a bump. I picture her in the hospital and I picture her with a baby in her arms. My baby. It would be my baby. I look into their eyes and remember when that person in my mind was me. The bump, the labour, that overwhelming surge of love you feel the second that you lay eyes on your child...
I can’t do it. I can’t. Oliver was right. He was totally right. I can’t give them my eggs only to put them through the agony of wanting the baby when it arrives. I couldn’t take that chance. I can’t take that chance.
‘Eve, I…’
Eve holds her finger in the air to silence me and lifts a small blue box out of her handbag. Sliding it across the table, she entwines her fingers with Owen’s and waits with bated breath. I stare down at the iconic box in front of me and run my fingers over the delicate white ribbon.
‘Open it…’ She presses, her voice high with excitement.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pull at the ribbon and flip open the lid. A tear slips down my cheek as I take in the stunning necklace. A delicate angel wing pendant, covered in glittering diamonds stares up at me. Tracing my fingers along the gold chain, which is sparkling like crazy under the bright lights of the café, I let out a sob.
‘I told you, you’re our angel.’ Owen whispers, his eyes suddenly glassing over.
Before I can stop it from happening, one tear turns into two and suddenly I am bawling like a baby.
‘I’m sorry.’ I wipe away my tears furiously and close the box. ‘I can’t accept this.’
‘Are you kidding me?’ Eve sighs and brushes away her own tears. ‘You’re giving us the gift of life. This is the least we can do.’
Shaking my head, I bury my face in my hands and sob uncontrollably. ‘That’s just it. I’m not.’
I cry for what feels like an eternity, only stopping when I have absolutely no tears left. When I finally dare to look up, Owen and Eve are staring at me with devastated expressions on their faces.
‘I’m sorry. I really, really am.’ My voice shakes as I look at my two close friends. ‘I thought I could do it, I really did, but Oliver made me realise that I couldn’t step back and pretend that he or she wasn’t genetically mine…’
Eve dabs at her eyes with a napkin and wraps her arms around my shoulders. ‘It’s OK, Clara. I understand.’
Clinging on to her, I bury my face into her shoulder and let the tears roll down my cheeks. ‘I’m so sorry. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am…’
Another pair of arms wrap around me and I look up to see Owen squeezing me tightly.
‘Is everything alright?’ A worried looking waitress asks, clearly perturbed at the sight of three grown-ups crying in the back booth of her coffee shop.
Pulling myself together, I give her the thumbs up sign and wipe my face, hoping that she leaves us alone. Waiting for the waitress to get out of earshot, Eve reaches into her handbag and passes me a tissue. I hold it over my eyes and try not to think about the state of my make-up. Once we have all composed ourselves, I look down into my coffee and take a deep breath.
‘I wanted to do this for you guys so badly…’
‘Really, you don’t need to explain yourself, Clara.’ Owen gives me a sad smile and rubs his right eye. ‘We completely understand, don’t we Eve?’
I look at my dear friend and feel a surge of guilt run through my veins. Her bottom lip trembles as she nods in agreement. ‘Of course I understand.’
I exhale deeply and tear my eyes away from hers. I feel awful, worse than awful. I feel horrendous. I feel like I have let them down and that is what hurts the most.
Owen clears his throat and takes a sip of his coffee. ‘It was a huge, life changing thing that we asked of you. We are just touched that you would even consider it.’ Rubbing his temples, Owen puts his hand on Eve’s. ‘We just need to go back to the drawing board and check out our other options.’
‘Exactly.’ Eve attempts to smile and blinks back the tears. ‘You can’t be sad about something you never had, can you?’
I smile back at her and will the ground to swallow me up. This is unbearable. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more useless in my entire life.
‘Now, let’s not have another word about it.’ Owen picks up the menu and drops it on the table. ‘Who’s up for breakfast? They do a killer fry-up here.’
Eve takes a quick sip of her tea and pushes the cup away. ‘I don’t know about Clara, but I’m not that hungry.’
‘Me neither.’ I mumble, being very aware that my stomach is doing summersaults as we speak.
‘Besides...’ Eve adds. ‘We have a florist to run and you’re watching your cholesterol.’
‘Well, I guess that’s me told.’ Owen rolls his eyes and shoots me a wink. ‘You girls get yourself off to work. I’ll order a fruit cup, I promise.’
Pushing out her chair, Eve kisses Owen on the forehead and grabs her handbag. Taking that as our cue to leave, I give Owen a quick squeeze and trail after Eve, trying desperately to act as though nothing has happened. As we walk back t
o the florist, I rack my brains for something to say, anything to break the awkward silence between us. Despite my efforts, we make it back to the shop without saying a word. As Eve heads on inside, I hang back as I hear my name being shouted in the distance. Spinning around, I force myself to smile as I see Owen running along the street towards me.
Panting for breath, he leans against a lamppost and holds out the blue box. ‘I still want you to have this…’
My eyes land on the blue jewellery box and I shake my head. ‘Owen, I can’t accept that.’
‘Please, we bought it with you in mind.’ He looks at me intently and his eyes crease into a sad smile. ‘Please? Don’t make me take it back.’
With a heavy heart, I give him a nod and slip it into my pocket. Not wanting to cry for a second time, I lean over and give him a quick hug before slipping inside the shop. If I didn’t feel bad this morning, I sure do now. How many people can I manage to upset in a single day? This must be some kind of world record.
‘Can you give me a hand here?’ Dawn hollers over the ringing of the phone. ‘I’ve had three internet orders already and Mr Williams has called twice.’
Snapping back into work mode, I dash into the store room and make a grab for the handset.
‘Hello, Floral Fizz…’
I make a note of the order and hang up, all the while trying to ignore the fact that Eve is sat at her desk looking like a lost sheep. Reaching into my pocket, my hand lands on the Tiffany box and my heart feels heavy once more. Not wanting to mention it again for fear of upsetting her, I shrug off my coat and reach for an apron.
‘I think Dawn’s a little busy out front…’
‘That’s fine.’ Eve cuts me off with a smile and flicks on the computer screen. ‘You go. I’ve got to sort out the rota.’
I nod in response and make my way to the door. ‘Eve?’ I whisper, making sure that Dawn can’t hear. ‘We are OK, aren’t we?’
‘Of course we’re OK. We are more than OK. The fact that you would even contemplate doing this for us means more than I could ever tell you.’ Blowing me a kiss, she motions to the door. ‘Now go and help Dawn, I heard Mr Williams has called and you know he likes to deal with you.’
I let out a laugh and dash out onto the shop floor before I burst into tears. Wiping my eyes, I force my lips into a smile and put my professional head on.
‘Alright.’ I beam at the line of waiting people. ‘Who’s next?’
The flower doesn’t dream of the bee.
It blossoms and the bee comes…
Chapter 12
Waving off the last customer of the day, I rest my head on the counter top and yawn loudly. In a frustrating turn of events, today has turned out to be the busiest day of the year. From a huge wedding booking to one too many guilty men seeking out the dreaded carnations, Dawn and I haven’t stopped for hours. After the most heart breaking and tear jerking morning of my life, the highlight of the afternoon came in the form of Mr Williams. As usual, he required assistance in building the perfect bouquet for Sandra. This time we went for lilies, although it did take some convincing to persuade him that they weren’t just for funerals. My skin tingles fondly as I picture him trundling up the street, briefcase in one hand, flowers in the other. Whoever Sandra is, she’s a lucky lady.
Dawn jabs me in the ribs, effectively popping my thought bubble. ‘What’s going on with you and Eve?’ She whispers, causing my blood to momentarily run cold.
‘Nothing!’ I stammer, pinging open the till and taking out the cash tray. ‘What makes you think something is wrong?’
Dawn looks over her shoulder to make sure Eve is out of earshot. ‘Oh, come off it! You haven’t said more than two words to each other all day!’ Dawn screws up her nose and frowns.
My brain goes into overdrive as I try to think of something that would explain our strange behaviour. As much as I hate to admit it, there’s been a prickly atmosphere between Eve and myself, despite her reassurances earlier.
‘You’re not ill, are you?’ Dawn’s expression suddenly changes and she pulls me closer to her. ‘You would tell me, wouldn’t you?’
‘No!’ I hiss, mortified that Dawn would think I’m on my way out. ‘Not at all. I promise you it’s nothing like that.’
She squints suspiciously and studies my face. ‘Then what is it?’
I exhale sharply and strip off my apron. I really don’t think it’s my place to tell Dawn about Eve’s proposal, but I don’t want her to jump to the wrong conclusion either. The lights suddenly go out and Eve appears behind us, saving me from the awkward situation.
‘Alright, guys. I’ve locked up the back, let’s get out of here.’ She attempts to raise a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
‘What about the dated flowers?’ Dawn asks, pointing to the many buckets of discounted stock.
‘Just leave them.’ Eve mumbles, squeezing past the champagne display. ‘We can sort them in the morning.’
I can feel Dawn’s eyes burning into the back of my neck and choose to ignore it. Eve never leaves the ruined stock out at the end of day, never. Not wanting to question her, I dump the takings into the safe and grab my coat. Following Eve to the door, I say a silent prayer that the frosty atmosphere between us is all in my imagination. We step outside and stand in silence as Eve proceeds to roll down the heavy shutter. The usual suspects are trundling along the pavement, phones clutched to ears and briefcases banging together in their fight to be the first person to cross the road. Isn’t it funny that no matter what life throws at you, people carry on living their lives regardless? When the Lakes rolled out of bed this morning, they firmly believed that their prayers had been answered. They awoke filled with hope that today would be the day that their luck finally changed. I sneak a peek at Eve, who is staring into space with a forlorn look on her face. Her world has come crashing down around her and yet people have still gone to work today, the sun is still high in the sky and the birds are still chirping.
As I am willing myself not to cry, my eyes land on the crazy lady across the street, who is coincidentally packing up for the night too. Her wiry hair billows in the breeze as she pushes her trolley along the busy street. As usual, the suits dodge her like the plague as she makes her way to the crossing. The numerous plastic bags tied to the trolley rustle loudly, causing her to get more unpleasant looks than usual. Pulling her gaudy cardigan around her body, she shouts at a particular businessman who has clearly rubbed her up the wrong way.
Tearing my eyes away from the comical scene across the street, I zip up my jacket and turn to face the others.
‘I’d better shoot.’ Dawn covers her mouth as she lets out a yawn. ‘Hugh’s taking me out for dinner with his parents.’
‘His parents?’ I squeal, grabbing hold of her arm. ‘Eve, did you hear that? Dawn’s going to meet the parents!’
Eve looks up at me and rubs her temples. ‘I’m sorry, what was that?’
Dawn purses her lips and I feel bad for being giddy when Eve is clearly feeling terrible.
‘Nothing.’ I shake my head and hold out my hand for hers. ‘Come on, let’s get home.’
‘Actually I’m going to stick around…’
‘You are?’ I glance at Dawn and suddenly feel a little concerned.
The fact that Eve lives in the apartment below ours means that we always head home together.
‘I’m going to have a look around the shops and maybe get a bite to eat.’ She tries to look upbeat, but she isn’t fooling anyone.
‘Alone? Do you want me to stay with you?’ I ask, digging out my phone to tell Oliver that I’ll be home late.
‘No. I just want to be alone for a little while. I’ll see you guys in the morning.’
With a quick wave, Eve secures her shoelaces before running off in the opposite direction. Not quite knowing what to say, I look at Dawn for help.
‘You better start talking, because now I’m really worried.’ She chews on the tip of her nail and I bat her fingers away.
‘It’s not my place to say.’ I rub face my face with both hands, not caring that I am no doubt smearing mascara down my cheeks. ‘All you need to know is that Eve asked me for something and I thought I could give it to her, but then I realised I couldn’t and now I feel so bad and things are…’
‘What the hell are you talking about?’ Dawn cuts me off mid-sentence, looking at me as though I have completely lost my mind.
‘Just trust me that neither of us are ill and we are still friends… I hope.’ I give Dawn a hug and shoo her towards the train station. ‘Now go. Enjoy your evening and remember, you only get one chance to make a good first impression.’
Heading off towards my apartment, I bury my hands in my pockets and try to block out the world around me. I couldn’t feel any worse about the Eve situation if I tried and now all I want is to get home to my two boys. Picking up my pace, I manage to make it back to the apartment in no time at all and practically throw myself into the lift. Spotting Owen’s distinct Maserati pull into the car park, I quickly jab at the button and breathe a sigh of relief as the door swings shut. The last thing I want is to be stuck in a lift with Owen for the agonising minute that it takes to reach our floor.
At least Oliver will be happy with my decision, I think to myself as I watch the numbers increase on the screen overhead. I take comfort in that idea as I walk along the hallway to our apartment and slide my key in the door. The first thing I notice is that there’s no wagging tail to greet me, the second is that the apartment is eerily quiet. Tossing my keys onto the kitchen island, I pad into the living room and scan the area for my family.
‘Hello?’ I shout, pushing open our bedroom door and realising that it’s empty. ‘Is anyone home?’
Hearing a rustling coming from the spare room, I make my way over and reach out for the handle.
