by Lacey London
‘But why?’ Noah’s little voice cries, stopping me in my tracks. ‘It’s not fair.’
Pressing my ear against the frame, my heart pounds as I hear Oliver clear his throat.
‘I know, son. I wish things were different too.’
‘I’ll be OK, Noah.’ Janie’s voice wavers as she speaks, causing Noah to cry even more. ‘Gee-Gee will still come and see you all the time.’
‘Come on, don’t cry.’ Oliver tries to soothe Noah and I wince as a floorboard squeaks beneath my feet.
‘Why does Mummy want Gee-Gee to leave?’ Noah presses, causing my heart to pound in my chest.
‘Well, sometimes grown-ups don’t always get along so well. Take MJ for instance. You’re friends, right? But you wouldn’t want him to live here with us, would you?’
‘Yes I would!’ Noah wails, kicking his feet in a tantrum.
‘OK, well how about Madison?’
There’s a silence and I can just picture Noah shaking his head. Madison and Noah can’t play together for more than five minutes without Noah screaming that Madison isn’t playing fairly.
‘You see? Sometimes you can be buddies with someone, but you don’t want to see them all the time? Do you see where I am coming from with this?’
Not being able to listen to another word, I grab my keys and run to the door. Sprinting past the lift, I take the stairs and gallop as fast as my legs will be carry me. A couple dive out of the way and exchange quizzical looks as I fire past them and out into the carpark. My ears are ringing and I actually feel quite sick. How have things gone so fundamentally wrong in just forty-eight short hours? Picking up my pace, I chew the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying. It was just thirty minutes ago that I was last here, but the difference in the street is remarkable. Gone are the bustling crowds, gone are the flustered street sellers and gone is the stressful white noise of carrier bags crinkling that fills any hope of silence.
Shoving my hands into my pockets, I take a right and find myself back at Floral Fizz. The wind rustles through my hair as I look up at the sign and wonder if Eve if still around. My entire body aches as I tear my eyes away from the sign. Glancing to my left to check for traffic, I cross the street and slump down on the bench opposite. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and deliberately ignore it. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, anyone at all. Pulling my sleeves over my hands, I tip back my head and close my eyes. The evening breeze washes over my face as I inhale deeply, silently praying that it blows away all of my problems.
Just as I am starting to relax, a strange clanging catches my attention. Straining my neck, I look behind me to see the crazy bohemian lady heading my way. It takes me a moment to register that I am sitting in her exact spot. Fighting against the wind, she props her shopping trolley next to the bench and sits down beside me. A strong waft of perfume drifts my way and I can’t help but feel pleasantly surprised. I don’t quite know why, but I always imaged her to smell like lavender and perhaps stale cigar smoke, but the distinct aroma of Flowerbomb that is dancing around my nostrils is undeniable.
My phone vibrates for a second time and I begrudgingly take it out of my pocket. Seeing Oliver’s name pop up on the screen, I jab at the off button and place it face down on the bench.
‘Life’s too short…’ My neighbouring friend mumbles, leaning towards me.
‘Excuse me?’ I reply, completely taken aback by the incredibly posh voice that is coming out of her mouth.
‘I said, life is far too short.’ She runs her fingers through her frazzled hair and I can’t help but notice that her hands are dripping in gold rings. ‘I’ve seen that face so many times and let me tell you for a third time, life is too damn short.’ I open my mouth to speak, but she continues to talk. ‘What is it? A boy?’
Recalling the conversation I just overheard at home, I offer her a small nod and look down at my feet. ‘If you must know, it’s a boy, a girl, a son and a mother-in-law…’
‘Well, that’s almost comical, isn’t it?’ She lets out a laugh and reaches into her tatty old handbag. ‘Mint Imperial?’
I look at the torn bag dubiously and shake my head. ‘No, thank you.’
Shrugging her shoulders, she pops a couple into her mouth and tosses her handbag back into the trolley with a clang. ‘Let’s start with the last one. I’ve always liked to do things back to front. What’s the deal with the mother-in-law?’
I roll my neck and try to think of a way to describe Janie that won’t result in me screaming out loud or punching a wall.
‘Well, she’s a handful, put it that way.’
Shaking her head, my new friend reaches into one of her many plastic carrier bags and grabs a box of seeds. ‘Just being a handful doesn’t result in a face like that...’
I manage a small smile and shield my head as a dozen pigeons flock to our feet. ‘It’s a long story, but I agreed to have her come and stay with us whilst she got over a divorce, but that was over six months ago and she is driving me insane...’
I take a deep breath and instantly feel a little better for getting things off my chest.
‘You know, they do say that a problem shared is a problem halved…’ Offering me some bird food, she gives me a smile so kind that it makes me want to cry.
I take a handful of seeds and start to distribute them amongst the pack of pigeons that are waiting greedily.
‘You would have to know Janie to understand where I’m coming from. I get that everyone’s mother-in-law is a nightmare, but mine really is something else…’
Starting with the first time I met her, I reel off everything that has ever happened between Janie and I. The entire story, right from the beginning. My stomach churns as I recall our disastrous trip to Mexico and despite her efforts to hide it, I notice my new friend grin as I fill her in on Janie’s outrageous antics. Once I start, I can’t seem to stop and when I eventually pause for breath, she is looking at me with wide eyes.
‘Well, that’s just not OK. You’re a young woman. You need to focus on your own marriage before that ends in divorce too. These are the years that you will look back on and wish that you had lived to the max. Believe me, I know.’
Throwing the last seed and watching the flock of birds fight like crazy over it, I let out a sigh and drop my head. Soon realising that there’s no food left, the pigeons abandon us in search of their next victim. Before I can stop myself, I tell her about Oliver’s sudden bond with Janie and Noah’s heart wrenching reaction to her being made to leave.
‘That’s quite a predicament that you’ve got yourself into there, isn’t it?’
‘It certainly is…’
Fiddling with the zip on my jacket, I suddenly realise that I don’t even know my new friend’s name.
‘I’m Clara, by the way.’ I hold out my hand for hers.
‘Sandra.’ She stares at me for a moment before accepting my hand.
I give her hand a shake and notice that she has impeccable nails for a homeless person.
‘If I could give you one piece of advice from an old woman, it would be to let it go.’ Sandra stares at me, her brown eyes suddenly serious.
‘Let it go?’ I repeat in confusion.
She nods along and shoots a passing business man a filthy look which I pretend not to notice. ‘The amount of years that I wasted in my marriage bickering over things that didn’t matter is probably one of my biggest regrets.’
‘You’re married?’ I exclaim, probably a little too loudly as a couple of passers-by glance over in our direction.
‘Twenty years.’ Sandra breathes and hold out her hand to show me her incredible bridal set.
The diamonds shine brightly under the evening sun and I look up at Sandra’s face feeling rather confused. Ever since my first day at Floral Fizz, I have watched her sit right here and hurl abuse at the people who walk by. The life I had imagined her living is a million miles away from this middle class, obscenely posh woman with a twenty-year marriage under her belt.
‘Sandra
, what’s your secret?’ I ask, taking a closer look at her. ‘Twenty years is such a long time…’
‘Patience and lots of it.’ She fires back, shaking her head as she speaks. ‘These days there’s only one thing that Ken and I argue about and that’s his bloody job.’
‘Oh…’ I try to picture what kind of man a woman like Sandra would be married to.
‘Work, work and more work. That’s all he does anymore. I remember the days before he was made partner where we didn’t have two pennies to rub together, but we were happy. So very happy.’ Sandra smiles and looks down at her wedding ring fondly. ‘He doesn’t remember it like that though. Ken just remembers the struggles, the hard times where we had to scramble around just to put food on the table.’ She blows a stray curl out of her face and motions across the street. ‘I see these so called business types marching along, shouting orders into their phones like it’s the only thing that matters and I get so angry.’
A light bulb goes off in my mind’s eye and I suddenly get an insight into why Sandra spends her days shouting abuse at the suits.
‘Ken’s married to me, but he’s also married to his job and a big part of me hates him for it.’ Reaching into her shopping trolley, she pulls out a bouquet of lilies and drops them onto my lap. ‘See this? This is the most attention that my Ken pays to me. He leaves me home for days on end and when he eventually returns, he has a bunch of damn flowers. Like flowers can compensate for his absence, for my loneliness.’
I turn over the flowers in my hands when a thought suddenly hits me. I know these flowers! I know them because I’m the one who wrapped them! Mr Williams! Mr Williams is Sandra’s husband! I bite my lip and feel weirdly guilty. Should I tell her that I am the woman who helps to choose the flowers that she so clearly despises?
Licking my lips, I straighten out the tissue paper carefully. ‘You know… I think a man who buys his wife flowers so frequently can’t be all that bad.’ Sandra takes the flowers back and gives them a moments glance before dropping them into the trolley. ‘I happen to work in a florist and I know a certain gentleman who gushes like crazy about the wife that he loves so dearly…’
She shoots me a sideways glance and squints her eyes. ‘You do?’
‘I do. I can’t tell you how many times he’s bent my ear over how he needs the perfect bouquet for his beloved wife. He must have made his way through the entire brochure. Roses, daffodils, tulips and most recently, lilies.’
I purse my lips as Sandra tucks her wiry hair behind her ears, looking deep in thought. I don’t need to spell it out for her. She knows exactly who I am talking about. Taking a deep breath, I look up at Floral Fizz just in time to see Eve walking past the shop. Her arms laden with shopping bags, she struggles to balance the many purchases as she makes her way towards the apartment.
‘You never told me about the girl?’ Sandra muses, putting one hand on the shopping trolley.
I shield my eyes from the evening sun and smile as Eve disappears around the corner. ‘On second thoughts, I don’t think the girl is much of a problem after all.’
‘Well, I’m pleased to hear that you have on less thing to worry about.’ Pushing herself to her feet, Sandra rearranges her selection of carrier bags and holds out her hand. ‘It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Clara. Now, go back to that lovely family of yours and decide what is really important.’
I look down at my wedding set and nod in response. Watching her walk away, shouting random curse words at a couple of power dressed women, I rest my chin in my hand and try to gather my thoughts. Do I want my marriage to end up like Sandra’s? When I said my vows, I promised to love Oliver through sickness and through health. Well, I think it’s safe to say that Janie is his sickness. Standing up, I walk as slowly as possible across the deserted street. The sun shines in my eyes as I look back for Sandra. Not being able to spot her, I start to make my way back home. Isn’t it strange how you can be so terribly wrong about a person? How you can conjure up an image of their intentions when in reality you don’t have the first idea about what’s going on with them? Meeting Sandra has opened my eyes. She has made me realise that you shouldn’t judge the journey until you have walked the path, because who knows, you might have fallen at the very first step…
The only difference between flowers and weeds is judgement…
Chapter 13
Staring at the apartment door, I try to steady my breathing before sliding my key into the lock and stepping inside. Pumpkin dashes over from her place in front of the television and jumps up at me excitedly. The absence of her collar tells me that she’s been out for her daily walk with Summer. Crouching down to the floor, I run my fingers through her fluffy coat and smile as she rolls onto her back. Her tail wags furiously as I reach up to the treat cupboard and swap a dog biscuit for a wet kiss on the nose. Tearing myself away from my furbaby, I slip my keys into my pocket and knock lightly on Janie’s door.
‘Come in.’ Janie’s Texan drawl hollers, above the banging that is going on inside.
Popping my head around the door, my jaw drops open as I take in the scene in front of me. Gone are the mouldy plates, the piles of dirty laundry and the mountain of empty Xanax packets. The bedding has been freshly laundered, the carpets have been vacuumed and most obviously, Janie’s cases appear to be packed.
‘I’ve been trying to call you.’ Oliver mumbles, from his place at the foot of the bed.
‘Yeah, we tried to call your phone!’ Noah runs towards me and jumps into my arms. ‘Where were you?’
‘I was at work.’ I whisper, burying my face into his warm neck.
‘Until this time?’ Oliver glances at his watch and frowns.
‘I went for a walk. I needed to, you know, think about things...’ I look over at Janie who is standing by her suitcase with an abandoned look on her face. ‘It looks like you guys have been busy.’
‘We have!’ Noah squeals excitedly. ‘We cleaned up Gee-Gee’s room!’
‘I can see that.’ I gush, widening my eyes to emphasise my joy at the clean room. ‘Noah, why don’t you go and make a start on your room whilst I talk to your dad and Gee-Gee?’
Noah pauses for a moment before jumping down. ‘OK, but only if I can watch television before bed.’
‘Deal.’ I say, holding out my hand to seal the deal.
Watching Noah grab Pumpkin and run out of the room, I gently shut the door and walk over to the bed. ‘Can we talk, please?’
I’m half expecting Janie to kick off and tell me that we said everything that we needed to say last night, but to my surprise she motions for me to sit down. My lips become incredibly dry as I try to figure out what exactly it is that I want to say. After a long pause, I look up at Janie and sigh heavily.
‘You don’t have to go, Janie.’ Oliver holds his breath and I try not to look at him. ‘You drive me insane. You make me think that I’m actually losing my mind, but just because I don’t like you all the time, doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.’
I hear Oliver let out a gasp and I can’t say that I blame him. It’s true that I can’t stand to live with Janie and it’s also true that I despise her behaviour, but I don’t hate her, not really, anyway.
‘I pushed the boundaries.’ Janie’s bottom lip wavers as she sits down beside me. ‘I knew I was doing it, but something inside me just snapped.’ She pauses for a moment and composes herself. ‘I was with Randy since I was just a girl. I guess I never got the chance to let my hair down. For the first time in my life I had the opportunity to have no responsibilities and be I dunno, free.’
We lock eyes and for the first time, I can see the person behind the bravado. ‘I can understand that.’
I lean over to wipe a tear from her cheek, but almost as quickly as the mask slipped, it is firmly back in place.
‘Oliver and I have been talking and it’s time for me to move on.’ I open my mouth to protest, but Oliver silences me with a shake of the head. ‘I’ve been avoiding my life back in Texas for long
enough now. I have to face the music. It’s time for me to go home.’
Turning around to face Oliver, he nods and reaches out for my hand. ‘We had a long talk and Mom’s right, it’s time for her to go back to America.’
‘Are you sure that’s what you want?’ I ask, looking between the two of them anxiously.
They nod simultaneously as Noah comes tearing into the room, quickly followed by Pumpkin.
‘I’ve cleaned it!’ He announces, falling to the floor and feigning exhaustion. ‘Pumpkin helped.’
The three of us watch Noah and Pumpkin rolling around on the carpet for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence. I suddenly remember Noah’s wish and feel a wave of sadness.
‘Hey, Noah, come up here a second.’ I pat my knee and let out a groan as he throws himself into my arms. ‘Your dad and I wanted to talk to you for a minute.’
‘Am I in trouble?’ He asks, looking up at Oliver mournfully.
‘Not at all.’ Oliver shakes his head and crouches down to Noah’s level. ‘Gee-Gee is going to go back to Texas.’
‘No!’ Noah’s face falls and he shakes his head manically. ‘What about my wish?’
‘Wish?’ Oliver’s brow creases into a frown. ‘What wish?’
‘Noah and I had a race yesterday and he won a wish.’ Clearing my throat, my cheeks colour up as I speak. ‘He wished that his Gee-Gee didn’t have to go…’
Janie lets out a squawk and rubs Noah’s shoulder. ‘I don’t have to go, Noah, but I want to.’
‘You do?’ He rubs his eyes and I feel my heart break yet again.
Janie nods and purses her lips. ‘I do, but I’m going to come back and see you all the time, you hear me?’
Sensing that Janie is on the verge of tears, I blink away my own and jump off the bed.
‘Alright, who’s ready for some dinner?’ I hold my own hand in the air and giggle as Noah stands to attention.
‘I am!’
‘I think we all are.’ Oliver yawns and leans over to squeeze his mother’s hand.
