Dot Con
Page 3
04/10 13.18
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Exactly. We clocked the S African Snail going 32mm per hour.
04/10 13.44
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no escape
04/10 13.47
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze What are we talking here? How many snails does £15 get me?
04/10 13.56
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets i know the business very well as you know comedy very well
04/10 16.05
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze If you know the snail racket half as well as I know callbacks, we’ll be milking ’til kingdom come.
04/10 16.06
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets the ball is in your court
04/10 16.07
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze but the snails are in yours.
04/10 16.08
The Blurb
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Need your help... Date: 27 October 17:05
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Hello,
This message may be coming to you as a surprise but I need your help.Few days back my family and I made an unannounced vacation trip to Manila,Philippines. Everything was going fine until last night when we were mugged on our way back to the hotel. They Stole all our cash,credit cards and cellphone but thank God we still have our lives and passports safe.The hotel manager has been unhelpful to us for reasons i don’t know.I’m writing you from a local library.
I’ve reported to the police and after writing down some statements that’s the last i had from them.i contacted the consulate and all i keep hearing is they will get back to me. Our return flight leaves soon…I need you to help me out with a fast loan to settle our bills here so we can get back home i’ll refund the money as soon as we get back.
Thanks, ROBERT
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 27 October 21:32
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Robert,
This is NO TIME to visit the library. Who’s this hotel manager and why is he being so unhelpful?
Of course I’ll loan you the money. What do you need? Shall I contact the consulate on your behalf?
How’s Daphne?
James
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 10:12
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Daphne’s fine.
We are having such a frustrating ordeal here. I have nothing left on me except my passport which i could use as verification purpose at the Western Union outlet.
I’d really appreciate if you can loan me the cash. All i need now is $2,500 USD but will appreciate whatsoever you can afford to wired right now. You can send it via Western Union money transfer. I can receive the cash within minutes after it’s sent using my International passport as identification.
Here is the information you need :
Name – ROBERT FORTNUM
Location: 54B Hilton Road, Makati City, Manila, Philippines
amount: $2500
Email me the transaction confirmation number as soon as it’s sent. I promise to refund as soon as I arrive home.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 14:30
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Of course Rob; you know I’d do anything for you and Daphne and the twins.
Let me check and see whether there’s one of those Western Union thingies close by.
How soon do you need it?
James
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 14:45
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Thanks for your helping hand, i need the money urgently because i will need sort my bills, you can have the money wired online Via westernunion.com.
Let me know how much they charge in sending fee’s so I can add to reimbursement.
Thanks, ROBERT
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 15:15
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Ok, ok.
I’m trying to get the cash out today but it’s a Sunday so it’s tricky. Doing my best for you buddy.
You haven’t even asked how my writing is going!
James
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 15:26
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OH,sorry i almost forgot to ask you how is your writing? i got lot thinking right now, i want to have the money wired to me online via westernunion.com if you can’t locate any local store or WU outlet near you because i think having it done online would be more easier and faster.
Await your responds.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 15:54
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Thanks so much for asking, Robert. Just knowing you’re out there – albeit in Manila – means a lot to me.
Actually I just checked online and there is a WU in central London that is open 24 hours so if I can convince my bank to let me get that much cash out, I’ll go there this afternoon.
But did you end up finishing my novel? Last time we spoke you’d read half but not finished it. What did you think?
Tell Daphne we say hi.
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 15:58
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Ok cool. Thank you for the help and we talk more once i arrive home. Keep me posted with the transaction confirmation number.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 16:00
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Of course. But what did you think of the first 12 chapters of my novel? You know how important your feedback is to me.
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 16:12
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Well i appreciate every bit of what i read.
But i must let you know that am not in the mood for this now because we are really having such a frustrating ordeal here so it’s not making me think well at all,so until i get home.
Hope you understand.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 16:15
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Look Robbie, you’re asking me for $2.5k but you can’t even tell me what you thought of my novel? Take a moment, breathe a little and tell me your considered opinion.
I’m beginning to think you just don’t care at all.
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 16:26
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Yes i know it’s been ages since we have a proper chat and i don’t want you to think i don’t care about your novel or
maybe am feeling unconcerned about your novel but it’s just we are a very bad and frustrating trip.
Just to let you to know that i really appreciate every bit of the wordings written on the novel. But the least i could say about the novel is that it’s very passionate and sensitive.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 16:36
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Robster!
Thank you so much. I called my bank and they’re making a one-time exception and allowing me to withdraw £2000. I need to tie up some business here and I may use your quotation for the back of the book; would that be alright?
One final question. How did you feel about the way it started? What did you think of the main character? And what was your favourite bit?
Please just tell me this and I’ll go make the payment straight away.
Yours, James
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Need your help... Date: 28 October 16:47
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OMG What a million questions!!!
It’s lovely and make’s more meaning to someone life and i really love the way it started and what i think about the main character,lovely Passionate and Sensitive,
My favorite bit is just knowing that the novel has a lot and add alot to someone’s life.
Please let me know what going on.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Mock-up Date: 28 October 17:54
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So sorry about all the questions. It means such a lot to me. I love that you described it that way.
I’ve attached a mock-up of the book that my publisher just sent me; I hope you don’t mind but we used your quotation. What do you think? :) :)
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Mock-up Date: 28 October 18:06
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Wow this look good.
I will like you to go get the money sent now so i don’t get frustrated.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Mock-up Date: 28 October 18:09
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I know, right?
Could you give me one more quotation for the back cover though, as my publisher is going nuts trying to get it out.
Just 30 words about the main plot twist and the bit with the robots and the milkmaid.
I just need to get this email sent off to her with the final changes and then I’ll go to the WU to send your cash.
Cheers, James
P.S. Excited!!
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Mock-up Date: 28 October 18:12
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Tired of your cunning.
OMG What a million questions!!! why you asking me this as at moment ?? Is this just because i asked you of help.. why have you decided to treat me like this, i want you to know that we’re meant to help each other. I knew this is unusual but are the only person i could reach at this point and i’m doing everything i can so we can work our way out of here peacefully.
My flight leaves in hours from now and I really need your help to sort out the hotel bills. Kindly let me know if you’re willing to help us out of this mess ok.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: 28 October 18:16
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Of COURSE I am. But you’ve got to see it from my point of view; I haven’t spoken to you in years, you email me out of the blue and ask for money. I’ve spent all day trying to get this money out of the bank (they even tried to tell me it was some sort of ‘scam’) and now you tell me not only have you read my book but you LOVED it and you’re willing to write me a blurb for the back cover.
Now my publisher is going nuts trying to get this 30 words and I’m just asking you for 30 words about the plot twist and the robots and the milkmaid before I head out the door. I swear I will get you this money within the hour. Just write me the blurb so I can shut my publisher up. You’re the most respected Doctor of Philosophy in the country and I need your help, too.
Please, just gimme 30 words on Sensitive Passion and I’ll send you the money.
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: 28 October 18:30
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OMG!!! why are you being so paranoid about this situation. I would never ask you to wire money to my name if i wasn’t myself.
I never expected you could doubt me after explaining the horrible experience i went through,am seriously freaked out at the moment and need urgent help to get back home on time.
I’ll be hanging on here to read from you soon.
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: 28 October 18:32
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OMG!! I can imagine. This is just how the milkmaid feels when she meets the robots in chapter 3.
I literally have the cash with me in crisp £10 notes. I just need to get to that Western Union but my publisher AND agent are now asking me for this blurb. Can you send now and then I will order a taxi to take me to the WU?
From: Robert Fortnum
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: 29 October 11:46
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This novel is anincredible novel. The main character the milkmade is passionate and lovely and sensitive and the plot twist with the robots is good too.
This novel adds to peoples lives anyone who reads the book will be surprised by the twist. I also loved the way it started
ROBERT
From: James Veitch
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To: Robert Fortnum
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Subject: Re: Sensitive Passion: a novel Date: 29 October 14:04
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Rob, this is beautiful. My publisher will be over the moon. I’m going to send you the money just as soon as the first royalty cheque comes in.
In the meantime, hang out in the library. It’s a good place to be.
Tell No One
From: Juan Carlos
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To: James Veitch
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Subject: ATTENTION! Date: 21 May 03:42
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Greetings? Firstly, i must apologies for barge into your mailbox. i seek a decision maker to grab 50% of $128 million. Yours free
Have i got your attention?
My question to you is do you want to be a millionaire? all you need do is assist me on what is Required you get $64 million dollars
Have i got your attention?
I require UN undertaking that you will not run of with the money. Driven by greed. call it winnings or compensation is your choice.
Have i got your attention?
From: James Veitch
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To: Juan Carlos
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Subject: Re: ATTENTION! Date: 22 May 08:05
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Sorry, can you repeat that? I wasn’t paying attention.